by Robyn Carr
“I recognize her,” Katie said. “Lucky you.”
“Katie, she’s married with two kids. A nice person…”
“Well then, I guess we’re all caught up,” she said, standing up.
“Come on, sit down. I just want a chance to explain. I think you know most of what I’m going to say—I tried to say it before. I was feeling kind of serious and I told you how nervous it makes me to feel serious. That long history of family members who just can’t—”
“Blah, blah, blah,” she said.
He frowned, then grimaced because it hurt his face. “Okay, I guess you don’t buy that.”
“Oh, I buy it, Dylan. I also think it’s a pretty convenient excuse to just bail out. You went to a lot of trouble to explain all this to me—that you just don’t want a relationship. You wanted what we had. And we had it. I’m not holding you here.”
“Katie, I called,” he said. “I gave you my number—I didn’t give it to very many people. I wanted you to call. I wanted us to stay in touch because maybe down the road… You mean a lot to me. I missed you like crazy. You’re the one who said our lives just don’t match.”
“Listen, Dylan, I don’t expect you to understand this—it’s just not a part of your lifestyle and it’s very old-fashioned, but I’m a mother and a woman who needs stability and permanence. This is my fault—I knew it was going to be a fling and I don’t have flings. I don’t have any practice at it. It was bound to work out the way it did. And I was bound to be unhappy about it. I didn’t realize when I was involved with you that a part of me hoped things would be different with me, with us. Dumb. You told me up front, that would never change. So, don’t worry—we’re all square. You can hit the road with a clear conscience—you have more temporary girlfriends waiting.”
He scowled. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, you’re pissed. I don’t blame you. I don’t have girlfriends waiting and I want to work this out with you. Maybe we can stay in touch or…something.”
“Dylan, I’m not the kind of girl you want to stay in touch with. I’m looking for something a little more committed. This is not your problem. You don’t have to make amends for just being yourself. I have no regrets about getting…” She almost said getting knocked up by you, but cleared her throat. “It was totally consensual. And I’m really sorry about Conner—he shouldn’t have done that. It’s inexcusable.”
“And why did he?” Dylan asked.
“He must have felt kind of bad for me,” she offered. “He’s very protective.”
“Why did he feel bad for you?”
“Probably because he thought my feelings were very hurt, which they were for a while. He thought I was depressed but actually I seem to have a little…” She slid her hand over her belly. “I guess I have a little bug in me. I haven’t been feeling so well. Better now, though. Nothing serious—just a temporary thing.” Should last about eight more months, she thought.
“Katie, I wanted to be so much more romantic. I wanted to let you know how much you got under my skin and how hard it was to leave you, but I thought I might never leave. Every time I got near you, I just couldn’t go. It was torture. Things were different with you!”
“Hmm,” she said. “Well, as sorry as I am for you, I think you’ve done a noble thing, coming here to apologize, but you can leave now. I know this is going to upset your feeling of being unique, but they write articles about your type in all the women’s magazines. Commitment phobia is almost a cliché.”
“Nice,” he said, sitting back. “May I have some ice before I go, please? For my face?”
She sighed. “I suppose. But then you have to go before the boys see you. They’re zoned out to the movie in the loft, maybe even asleep already.” She got up. She put some ice in a dish towel and brought it to him. “Let’s not drag this out.”
He pressed the ice against his eye. She could only see half his face when he talked. “The thing you don’t get, Katie, it’s not an excuse. I’m not proud of this. I probably qualify as some player—at least technically—because I don’t get into steady things. You have no idea how much I wish it wasn’t the case. My best friend is a married man with five kids, he’s like family to me. Except for my grandmother, the only real family I have. His house is where I spend every long weekend and holiday. I would trade a kidney for his life even though he’s always strapped for cash, usually tired, in constant demand at home, lives in perpetual chaos, but he’s always got a smile on his face. I’d give anything for that life.”
She wasn’t sure if she was being played right now or if he was sincere. She took a chance. “Do you expect me to feel sorry for you?”
“It wouldn’t hurt. And you might give me a chance to…I don’t know…check this out, this thing we have. I want to. I’ve never met a woman so hard to leave.” He took a breath.
“Okay, that’s too obvious. What do you want?”
“A second chance?”
“Oh? For how many days or weeks this time?”
He got clumsily to his feet, holding the ice over his eye. “Okay, I deserved that. I won’t jam you up anymore. Would it be all right if I stayed in touch for a while? Called? Maybe visited you sometime?” He wobbled a little.
She stood, as well. “Where are you going?”
“I thought it seemed pretty obvious you’re all done talking here…”
“I don’t know that you’re okay,” she said. “You’re a little unsteady.”
He pulled the ice pack off his eye. “It’s just my balance with the ice over one eye. And the fact that your brother tried to beat my brains out.”
“So, where are you going?”
“Not sure,” he said with a shrug. “I passed by Riordan’s and they’re full up. Even that funky little trailer he let me have for a week is in use.”
She just stared at him for a minute. “I don’t think you should drive…”
“I’ll be okay,” he said, handing her the ice pack.
She groaned in resignation, handing it back. “You can have the couch. I’m going to get my children in bed before they see you. If you sneak into my room tonight, you’d better be coming to get me because the house is on fire or you’re going to live to regret it. Are we clear?”
He looked down. “Can I take off my boots? Or should I be ready to run?”
“You take off anything else, you better run,” she said, and she turned away from him, going upstairs. She hustled the boys into their room before they noticed him. And then the door to her bedroom closed.
Dylan felt the sunlight, then he felt the eyes. He opened one of his to four brown ones. “Y’know, you guys are sometimes a little creepy. The way you do that.”
“Did you have a sleepover again?” Andy asked.
“And forgot your pajamas?” Mitch added.
“I had a sleepover,” he said. “I was feeling a little wobbly and your mother thought maybe I shouldn’t drive.”
“She said you had an accident,” Andy shared.
“That’s right,” Dylan said. “Ran right into a big, stupid fist.”
“Boys, go to the table,” Katie said. “Your waffles are ready.” When they left and she looked at Dylan, she made a face. He was more swollen and the skin around his eye was definitely black-and-blue. “The color is setting in,” she informed him. Then she picked up four empty beer bottles from the top of the trunk. “Go ahead and help yourself to a beer.” She carried them into the kitchen.
He followed. “I’ll be glad to replace them. I had a little trouble sleeping. Did you have trouble sleeping?”
“Sleeping seems to be one of my gifts lately,” she said. “I slept like a dead person. Would you like an egg or something before you leave?”
“Coffee would be nice,” he said.
When she turned away from him to grab a cup, he eyed her backside. She was wearing some thin summer knit sweatpants that fit loosely around her hips and a short shirt, leaving her midriff exposed. He remembered her as tiny, but today she was looking thin. Whe
n she turned toward him with a cup of coffee he asked, “Have you lost weight, Katie?”
“I told you, I had a little bug. I’m not completely over it, but almost…”
“Katie,” he asked, stepping closer. “Did I do that to you?”
“Probably,” she said. “Egg?”
“Let me take you out to a big breakfast,” he said.
“Boy, guilt really works on you, doesn’t it? I’m going to have a little cereal, not feeling like a big breakfast.”
“You’ve gotten too thin,” he said. “Makes me want to feed you. And hold you.”
“Wow, that’s real talent,” she said. “You know how to make a woman feel unattractive and desired in the same sentence. Do you want an egg or are you on the way out?”
He tilted his head. “Have you always been this cranky? Could you be a little nicer, please? Your brother beat me up and I’m concerned about you.”
“I’m really just fine,” she said in a calmer voice. “Meet me on the porch.” She grabbed her glass of juice and headed out the door. She sat in one of the chairs and when he sat down beside her, she winced again just looking at him. “What are the chances Conner looks as bad as you?”
“I think he won,” Dylan said.
“Lord. Men.” She cleared her throat. “Listen, Dylan, I apologize if I’ve been less than friendly. But just how many times do you think I want to go through withdrawal? Because seriously, I am not interested in a close casual friendship with benefits. It’s not who I am. I’m not comfortable with that kind of relationship.”
“Did Charlie ask you to marry him after the first week?”
“No,” she said. “After the first week he said he couldn’t live without me. It was after the second week he begged me to marry him. But that has nothing to do with us, with now. Now I’m a mother first and I’m feeling a little protective. I’m not a good mother if I’m worrying about how some man feels about me.”
He felt a smile come to his lips. “That’s very reasonable.”
“Thank you. No regrets, but I’m not getting involved with you. Again.”
“I understand. But you don’t hate me?”
“I don’t hate you. I’ll never hate you. After all, I loved you for three years when I was a girl. And that was before I even slept with you.”
He smiled wider. “What if I wanted to be friends? Without benefits?”
“Big talk,” she said. “We have history. We’d probably end up in the sack and I’d just get hurt again.”
He took a thoughtful sip of his coffee. “Katie, I’d never deliberately do anything to hurt you.”
“You know what? I believe you. But I’d end up hurt just the same and you’d be fine—off meeting up with old movie star girlfriends, et cetera, while I sit here alone in the woods wondering what happened. And the boys…”
“What about the boys?” he asked.
“Well, brace yourself,” she said. “They like you. They were so excited to see you sleeping on the couch, it was almost impossible to keep them from waking you up. It’s probably not so good for you to come in and out of their lives.”
“Kind of sounds like I really screwed this up.”
“This?” she asked. She shook her head. “We were attracted to each other, but there’s nothing we can do about the fact that we’re not headed in the same direction, except maybe make a clean break so we can move on. You have to go!” She touched his hand. “It’s okay, Dylan. Let’s just part friends. No hard feelings.”
“I don’t necessarily want to—”
There was a bit of rustling and a small bear cub rolled out of the bushes, followed by a second. Katie jumped to her feet. “Dylan, in the house, hurry up.” She was ahead of him, heading for the kitchen. She went to the small cupboard above the microwave and grabbed the air horn and the bear repellant, a fancy hair-spray-size can of mace. “She is seriously getting on my nerves....” And then she was out on the porch again. “Hey!” she yelled. “Get outta here!” And she blasted the horn a few times, some short annoying pops.
Dylan stepped out on the porch, wide-eyed. “Holy shit, Katie! Get inside!”
Mama stepped into the clearing and puffed up, making her groaning, almost growling noises. That could’ve meant You’ll be my breakfast soon or Come with me, kids.
Katie aimed the mace and the horn just in case, but she blew the horn again. The bear stood on her hind legs and her cubs ran behind her. She dropped back to all fours and disappeared into the shrubs, and a moment later Katie saw the four of them hightailing it up the path and into the forest. And Katie yelled, “I’ve got cubs, too! Bitch!”
He grabbed her arm. “Katie, good Christ, you shouldn’t antagonize her like that. Just get out of the way.”
“She’s really got some attitude, that one. A guy I met at Jack’s, some guy with an orchard, said she’s been bothering them and he was going to call someone—like the game warden or something.” Then she turned her big blue eyes up to his. “But I think maybe I’ll find something a little more urban. Know what I mean?”
He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. The boys peeked out the door to see if there were bears. “Go inside, please,” Dylan said. “Get ready for school.” When they were gone he turned to Katie. “All right, listen to me. I’m not leaving right away. I’m going to take the boys to school and drop them off. Then I’m going to run a few errands, make a couple of phone calls and come back here. You—stay in the house and do not confront that bear again!”
“I don’t want you hanging around here,” she said. “I’m not going to sleep with you!”
“Oh, absolutely not,” he said. “But we are going to examine the potential for a relationship, you and me. It might not be easy, but—”
“But Hollywood waits,” she said.
“Yeah, well, I probably won’t be able to work and hang out here all the time, but I also probably won’t be out of town any more often than a soldier. Right now I think you need me. So I’ll take the boys to town and I’ll be back.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Don’t you understand ‘no’?”
“No,” he said.
Fourteen
Right after leaving Katie’s house and dropping off the boys, Dylan parked on the side of a hill that offered a spectator’s view of a lush valley, but his interest was not the view. He had cell reception here. He called Lang. “How’s everything going?”
“Going,” Lang said. “I flew a couple of charters. They didn’t pay enough, but they paid and it was work. We could use more. I was out of town most of last week, but it’s money and I’m encouraged by the business.”
“How’s Mrs. Lang getting along?”
“She’s doing all right, but then Sue Ann always gets along better without me than I do without her.”
“Listen to you,” Dylan said. “She’s stuck at home with five kids, trying to help run an airport, manage the house and everything and you’re whining about doing something you love to do—fly.”
“I know,” he admitted. “She could’ve done better. Boy, am I lucky she didn’t.”
“I remember when you met her,” Dylan said. “It was like you saw her and glazed over…”
“Nah, I didn’t really go into a trance until I talked to her. But I was in big trouble once I slept with her. Shew.” Lang took a breath. “Thank God I’m home for a few days!”
“Eleven years later, still the horn dog for your wife.”
“Hard to get bored with perfection,” he said with a sigh.
Dylan just chuckled to himself. Sue Ann was pretty, but she wasn’t a knockout. She was kind of soft and wholesome-looking, but she had a sharp tongue on her, like someone else Dylan knew. She didn’t suffer fools gladly. She certainly didn’t put up with any of Lang’s shit. “I’m still trying to figure out how that works,” Dylan said. “One look and not only did you know how you felt then, you knew how you were going to feel in twenty years.”
“You see what you want to see, D,” La
ng said. “Like we’re the perfect married couple? Hell, we’ve had some knockdowns. I’ve spent my share of nights on the couch. In fact, it’s making up that really gets us into trouble—that’s usually when we slip up and get pregnant.”
“Didn’t you promise her a vasectomy?”
“Yeah, when little D is two, and guess what? He had a birthday just after I got back from our ride. As soon as I can put together some days off, I’m going to get that done. We can’t afford another one. And there are so many kids, I never get any time alone with my wife.”
“Man,” Dylan said. “No one’s ever cutting on me…”