Well, if stress is the trigger, then we have a good excuse, at least, I thought to her, shaking away the feeling.
Tightening my grip on his neck, and ignoring the fact that I felt safe being held by Ahmose, I closed my eyes and waited for the impact. I opened them in surprise when I felt Ahmose’s arms wrap fully around my waist and lower me to the ground without so much as a jostle.
Asten, who Ahmose had dropped onto the sand, was slowly getting to his feet, while Ahmose stepped away, rubbing the back of his neck and watching me out of the corner of his eye. I wondered if he had been as affected by me as I’d been by him and felt more comfortable not meeting his eyes.
Quickly moving into his line of sight, I called Asten’s name, and when he didn’t respond, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He didn’t so much as twitch. I tried to swallow my disappointment and then cocked my head, wondering why I felt that particular emotion. Did I want his attention, too?
“He won’t be able to answer us until we find his heart,” Ahmose explained.
“Ah, I see,” I said, still not making eye contact. “So, where do we begin looking?” I asked as I reluctantly let go of Asten.
“The heart seeks out the thing that pains him the most. A banished soul only recovers his heart if he fights the demons that haunt him. The worse the crime, the more sore the battle. Whatever demon has the strongest hold on Asten’s heart will be guarding it. If we follow Asten, he’ll be drawn toward his monster.”
“Right.”
Ahmose lifted his eyes, peering into the foreboding landscape around us. We seemed to be in a wasteland. A burning, sulfurous scent was carried on the wind. Large mounds of dirt and rocks were piled up haphazardly. With my sphinx eyesight, I could detect the slight pulsing of a few of them, which, if they had been on earth, would have made me think they were termite mounds. Since they were in the netherworld, who knew what kind of horrible creatures made the hills their homes.
At first, I thought the terrain similar to the Place Where Dreams Are Born with its pinnacles and rock formations, but upon further inspection, the colors that brightened the rock were garish and menacing. The mounds of stone cast dark shadows where sinister things quivered and hid or slunk through the dusky gloom. Instead of beauty, I was struck by the idea that death and decay were slowly eating away at the landscape.
The ground was rocky with sharp stones that peppered the sand. And the thick depth of the grains sucked at our feet, nearly toppling me with every step as I slogged through it. My white sandals were quickly becoming uncomfortable. The only landmarks I spied were a few barren and ugly trees that stretched out sharp, skeletal claws to snag my hair. Tia lent me her strength so I could tolerate the hellish temperature, but she could do nothing about the stench of sulfur and corruption.
Asten seemed to be headed toward the place where the sulfur smell was emanating from. Not knowing if that was a good thing or a bad thing, I checked that our knives were ready and that my bow and the quiver of arrows were still at my back and then started after him.
My heart told me Amon was in a different direction, but I feared that if we didn’t follow Asten, we’d lose him. Tia agreed and we began tracking him. Within four steps, I was struggling to catch up. Asten glided over the terrain like a ghost, while I slogged as if moving through mud. “He’s getting ahead of us,” I called out.
“Here,” Ahmose said. “Take my hand. I can find the surest path.”
I placed my hand in his and it was quickly enveloped in his large, warm palm.
This feels nice, Tia said. Not like the embrace of Horus, but it is soothing. Comforting. I understand your desire regarding this one. Your cubs would be of a good size and healthy.
Gah! You’re talking about cubs? Cut it out! This is weird enough as it is, I thought back to her. I am way, way too young to be thinking about offspring.
You are not capable of reproduction at your age? she asked.
This was getting uncomfortable. I explained reluctantly, My body has the ability, but humans don’t usually reproduce until they have settled down. They finish college, get married, and buy a house first.
Ah, she said. It would be appropriate, I suppose, to find the proper location for the raising of cubs first. Since you are in a transitory state, it makes sense to hold off for a time.
Ignoring my inner lioness, I turned my attention back to Ahmose, who had been holding out his other hand, stretching it over the top of the sand. Nothing happened at first, but then the grains began to shift. Asten kept moving ahead, and I worried again that he would get away from us. The sand hardened and a crooked path formed, coming in and out of view.
Ahmose stepped up onto a section of firm sand. “If we walk this path, we will avoid the pitfalls that would swallow us up and lead to destruction,” he said.
“What about Asten?”
“Asten must walk his own path. We will stay as close to him as we can and only deviate from the path if absolutely necessary.”
“Okay,” I said. “Lead the way.”
I hoped that as soon as I saw Amon again, these awkward feelings I was developing regarding other men would disappear. Whether they were originating from Tia or not, I was apparently a willing, if reluctant, participant.
I tried not to think about it, but since she was, at that very moment, thinking about Ahmose’s well-defined arms, my thoughts drifted in that direction as well. She was wondering if she could come to love either one of them, and I couldn’t fault her for that. They were both good choices.
Her thoughts particularly drifted in Asten’s direction and as we walked she replayed his confession in her mind. She empathized with him, for she, too, felt out of place and less than worthy. The idea that Tia considered herself not as important as I was shocked me, and I made a promise to try to give her opinions and thoughts equal weight.
Asten moved in and out of our sight from time to time, but Ahmose always reassured us that he was close, and the path did seem to follow the same general direction he was walking. Occasionally, Ahmose would stop and place his hands on the path, and he’d discover a new direction that would get us closer to his brother. After a few hours of traversing the same dull landscape, me lost in my thoughts, we finally found the source of the burning smell.
It wasn’t obvious what it was at first. The horizon glowed with a golden-orange hue and I thought it might be a sunset, though Ahmose told me he didn’t think that was possible. A sunset would indicate the presence of Amun-Ra, who, though he had guided me to Cherty, had never set foot in the netherworld. At least, as far as Ahmose knew.
Soon we figured out what caused the lights over the hills. We came upon a wide lake that roiled with a blazing liquid that undulated and shifted as if there were various forms writhing beneath its surface. Asten stopped as if taking in his surroundings. The light coming from it reflected off Asten’s face like the flickering of a campfire, and I found the quiet power and ruggedness of his jaw beautiful. I had the overwhelming urge to run my fingertips along it.
Asten blinked as if waking from a dream, and in that moment he looked down at me and must have seen something in my expression, because his changed. His brown eyes lit with tenderness and his lips parted just slightly, as if he’d found something he’d been long seeking. I took a small step closer. For just a moment I thought he was going to touch my cheek, but then something broke the surface of the lake and commanded his attention.
When the moment passed, I shook my head slightly, wondering what on earth was going on. Maybe the heart scarab was affecting him, too. I knew it was only a matter of time before it would influence both Asten and Ahmose, but this was the first indication that one of them was bending to its power. Sucking in a breath, I vowed to be stronger and turned toward the lake.
I’d never conceived of anything like it before. Across the burning water was a waterfall of sorts that seemed to feed it, but the liquid was thick and viscous, a golden chocolate caramel lit from behind. The lake was beautiful in its way,
even though I knew that Asten’s personal demons must live hidden within its depths. As I thought of what they could be, Asten moved closer to the fiery water’s edge.
“Stop!” I cried. “Don’t go in!”
Fear clutched my heart. I was deathly afraid that Asten would drown or burn in its fiery waves.
“What is this place?” I asked Ahmose when Asten was at a full stop at the water’s edge.
“I’ve heard of it, though it is not at all as I imagined. It is called the Lake of Fire, a place of purging. The errors one makes can be, in essence, washed away—that is, if the person doesn’t drown during the process. It’s interesting that his heart ended up here.”
“Don’t all hearts come here?”
“Not at all. Most hearts go to the Mires of Despair. That his came here means the wrongs he did caused more pain to himself than to anyone else. The bad news is that his heart sought the deepest point in the netherworld to hide, something we can attribute to how long Asten has allowed these feelings and mistakes of the past to fester. The good news is that if he manages to successfully bring his heart back to the surface, he can, in essence, be free from his demons. That’s not a small thing in the netherworld.”
“So you’re saying that Asten’s going to dive in?” I asked, hoping that I was wrong.
“That would be my guess. His heart is even now calling to him from its depths.”
Just then, a large creature with gaping jaws broke the surface and dove back in. Its eye must have sighted us because it breached not once but twice more, each time coming closer. I shook my head. “It’s too dangerous. We can’t let him go in there.”
“I don’t think we have a choice,” Ahmose warned.
Asten turned to look at us with a weak smile and waded in.
Ahmose caught my arm when I tried to go after him, giving me a pained look. “He has to fight his demons to win back his heart,” he said, fingering a lock of my hair.
Turning, I stared desperately at the lake. The golden water clung to Asten’s legs like thick goo.
I panicked. We were going to lose him. We couldn’t lose him. Not when I thought I could love him. No. Wait. What? That’s wrong. No, it isn’t, my mind insisted. My heart beat swift as a roe, and before I understood what I was doing, I leapt from the path and ran toward the shore.
“Lily! Wait!” Ahmose cried out as I ran, but I ignored him and pressed on, splashing into the thick liquid just as Asten dove under.
“Asten!” I cried, tossing my knives and the quiver and bow onto the sand before plunging beneath the waves myself. When we couldn’t see, I locked my mind with Tia’s and summoned our power. All at once the light that filled our vision dissipated and we could clearly see Asten ahead of us. A shining rock drew him forward, downward.
I swam awkwardly, my human half and my lioness half moving like two disparate creatures fighting. I switched back and forth from the breaststroke to a doggie paddle and ended up kicking viciously, tearing through the water like I would through a large animal. Even though the Lake of Fire was viscous and reddish, the water was cold, so cold that it felt like we had sunk into a grave. My eyes closed, and Tia was the one who raised our body temperature enough for us to return to the living—at least, as living as we could be in the netherworld.
Our claws extended naturally when a scaled monster attacked, and we raked our nails down its side, black blood filling the water before the creature disappeared. I used Horus’s healing stela to repair a wicked gash on my leg that the toothy beast had rendered before vanishing.
Tiny biting fish swarmed around Asten, but he paid them no heed as he swam downward. Sensing something hunting us, I turned and sought it out, swimming quickly and boldly toward it. With a quick slice of my claws, I dispatched the creature and moved on. This lake could be the end of us. Asten was now just a speck on the edge of my vision. I was barely able to see him even with our sphinx abilities.
Another monstrous creature took note of me. This was beginning to feel like an underwater Whac-A-Mole. I tightened my fist and used only the power of my mind to destroy it. The large beast thrashed violently for a full minute before going still.
I’d already been holding my breath for much longer than I’d be able to as a human, and my lungs weren’t burning at all. I hoped the same thing applied to Asten. He was imbued with godly powers and he was technically dead, so that might be in our favor. If he was running out of air, his body didn’t show any signs. As he swam through the school of deadly fish, his blood filled the water, and I worried that the scent would attract larger predators. I narrowed the distance.
Asten was floating above his glowing heart, the vicious creatures surrounding him, taking off little pieces of his flesh. His muffled screams as they attacked pierced me. I moved nearer, but the fish ignored me completely and swam to his other side, avoiding me when I approached. Trying to fight them off with my claws proved fruitless, so I kicked my legs and reached for his glowing heart instead.
The object was too heavy for me to lift, though I tugged and pulled and used everything I had to try prying it up from the bed it rested in. There was nothing for me to do as Asten was picked apart. He fought and kicked but it was to no avail. He couldn’t stop them. Then, suddenly, their behavior changed. Instead of attacking, they hovered, as if waiting for something.
My hair swirled in front of me and I angrily pushed it aside. Asten! I thought, swimming closer. Don’t give up! But he had. Lifting his hands, grimacing at the bits of flesh that hung from his fingertips and floated like little loose pieces of sodden bread, he blinked once, twice, and then his eyes found me.
We stared at one another for a long moment, and during those precious seconds, I tried to plead with my eyes, to convey how badly I wanted him to live. Asten seemed to understand. Lips curving up in a sweet smile, he nodded and threw back his head, stretching out his arms.
He closed his eyes and gave in to the swarm. The tiny yet monstrous fish became very excited. They swam around him with increasing speed. Faster and faster they went until their forms became blurred. Then, all at once, the whole group tore into his belly, burrowing beneath his skin. Asten screamed as his entire body filled with light. It emanated from his ruined fingertips, from his feet, his mouth and eyes.
My whole body shook, my heart pressing against my rib cage like it was ready to explode. Regret and sorrow pierced me so fixedly I barely cared if I survived either. Asten was going to die a second and permanent death and there wasn’t a thing I could do to stop it. What good was having the power of a sphinx if I couldn’t protect the people I cared about?
Below us, Asten’s heart burst into a thousand tiny particles of light, then floated back to touch his gleaming skin. They sank into it, causing his limbs to heal. The jerking of his body stilled, and when they were gone, his head slumped forward. He floated in the fiery water unconscious. At least that was what I hoped.
Retracting my claws, I slowly approached and wrapped an arm around his waist. I reached up to touch his cheek and his eyes opened. Relief poured through me, and I wished I could have both laughed hysterically and cried.
A familiar gleam lit Asten’s chocolate brown eyes and he winked, the side of his mouth lifting up to his trademark smirk. The gesture was heartfelt and genuine. And yet it wasn’t. He was happy to be alive and happy that I was there with him. Though he was obviously tired, he was Asten whole and complete once again. But now there was a quiet acceptance upon his shoulders.
He’d absorbed the burden of his demons. Not only had he faced them, but he’d also wrestled them and won. They would always be a part of him, but they would no longer hold him back. And, more importantly, they would no longer weigh down his heart. Asten took hold of my hand and squeezed it gently, then brought it down to his lips to press a soft kiss against my palm.
He tugged, wanting me closer, and I drifted willingly, wrapping my arms around his neck. His eyebrow lifted in question, but then he nodded as if that, too, was something he could acc
ept. He looked up and kicked, drawing us to the surface.
I wasn’t sure how long we’d been down, but by the look on Ahmose’s face, it had been much too long. He was pacing frantically and didn’t notice us until he heard our flailing attempts to get ashore. He raced out into the water and dragged me up, crushing me against him. “Lily,” he breathed my name in relief. “I thought you were lost.”
“We’re okay,” I said, hugging him briefly and then stepping away, the thick waves of orange fluid shoving me against him as I moved.
“I couldn’t go in after you. I tried, but each time I set foot in the lake, it turned as hard as stone. When I backed out, it turned liquid again. I thought trying to get to you would kill you. Otherwise I would have come.”
“That’s strange,” I said. “The lake stayed liquid the entire time we were down there. I wonder why it let me go after Asten and not you.”
“Perhaps it sensed our link,” Asten ventured.
“Yes.” Ahmose folded his arms across his chest. “Maybe it’s time you tell me all about this dream you mentioned and just how Lily features into it.”
Asten frowned and held out a hand to me. I took his arm easily and waded ashore with him. When I looked back, Ahmose was the one frowning. Over his shoulder, Asten responded, “You know I am only allowed to share a dream with the person or people it involves, and this one”—he glanced down at me briefly—“definitely didn’t involve you.” Asten looked up, as if scanning for something, and though there wasn’t a sun in the sky, he said, “I suggest we find shelter. Night is coming.”
Ahmose soon joined us, and he looked at the sky as well before raising his hands and mumbling a spell. The sand around us shifted and then settled as his eyes spotted something ours couldn’t. “I’ve found a path,” he said.
“Good.” Asten nodded and turned to me, touching the tip of my nose lightly, his eyes flashing. “As fetching as you look drenched in the fiery waters, you are likely uncomfortable and the picture of a poor devotee. If you would allow me to fashion you something more befitting your station?”