“Yes, everybody’s happy,” he said, giving me a shrewd look. “Everybody but you, old friend. But as far as I can see, that’s your own fault.”
“What?” I looked at him, startled. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about Leah. She’s the one for you, isn’t she? But you’re pushing her away.”
“There’s no ‘one right female’ for me,” I growled, frowning. “And even if there was, you know I couldn’t bond her. Because I’m a—”
“A half-breed.” He raised an eyebrow. “Like me?”
“You got lucky,” I said, looking away. “There’s no guarantee I would.”
“There’s no guarantee you wouldn’t, either,” he pointed out. “Leah is a Pure One and a La-ti-zal, the same as Zoe. What makes you think you couldn’t form a bond with her?”
“That’s the point,” I growled. “I’m afraid I could. She doesn’t need to be with me, Sarden. She needs a nice guy.”
“Like that mate of hers who beat her up?” he asked shrewdly. “Yes, Zoe told me about him. He sounds like a real bastard.”
“He’s that, all right,” I said darkly. “I wanted to rip his fuckin’ head off the first time I saw him. Actually, I still do.”
“Then do it. And claim Leah for your own.” His eyes flashed. “Sometimes a female likes to feel owned. Only in the bedroom but still—you know what I mean.”
“I can’t do that,” I said with a frustrated growl. “I can’t take that risk. What if we ended up with just a partial bond, like my parents? You know how it was between them.”
“That wasn’t because of their bond or lack of one,” Sarden said, frowning. “It was because your father was an abusive son-of-a-bitch. Forgive me, Grav, it pains me to speak ill of the dead but it’s true and you and I both know it.”
I ran a hand through my hair.
“Yeah, I know it.”
“Listen to me.” Sarden took me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes. “You’re not your father. No matter what you’ve done, you’re not that kind of male. You don’t hurt females and you’d never hurt Leah—even if you couldn’t bond her to you.”
“I don’t know.” I frowned and looked away. “I don’t even know if she still wants me…that way.”
“She does,” Sarden said bluntly. “She spent all last night telling Zoe how you make her feel.” He grimaced. “You know, I love the link my bond gives me with my little Pure One but sometimes I want to turn it down.”
“Really?”
I looked at Leah speculatively. She was still clinging to Zoe as the two females whispered together in front of the hopper which was floating serenely about an inch off the ground. Sarden has a nice big anti-grav landing area so I was able to bring my entire ship down to the planet’s surface instead of just a shuttle. Which was good, since my best shuttle had been lost to the Widow’s attack.
“Really,” he said firmly. “And don’t say you’re not good enough for her again because of your past. At some point, old friend, you have to put the past behind you and reach for the future the Goddess has offered you. It’s an insult to her not to.”
“What?” I looked at him, startled. I hadn’t thought of it that way.
“Think about it.” Sarden clapped me on the shoulder, the Star of Wisdom winking at his forehead. “Safe journey.”
“Thanks,” I said, frowning. As Leah finally let go of Zoe and we waved goodbye, I found myself wondering if he was right. Could it really be an insult to the Goddess of Mercy to refuse what she was offering? Or was it more of an insult to try to tie my stained and violent life to someone as pure and beautiful as Leah?
I just didn’t know.
Leah
“Leah?” Teeny’s voice was thin and worried as she stood in the doorway to my room. “Can I talk to you?”
“Of course you can, honey. Come on in.” I patted the spot beside me on the bunk. We had already made our first hop on the way to her home world of Thonolax, and Grav had said it would only take a few days to get her back home to her grandfather.
But Teeny had only given him a wan smile when he said it, and then wandered off again to her room. I had just been thinking that I needed to go check on her when she came knocking at my door. I was glad to see her but more worried than ever when I saw how tired and sick she looked. There were dark shadows under her violet eyes and her lovely, pale green skin had taken on a distinct, grayish cast.
“What is it?” I asked, as she settled beside me. “What’s wrong, Teeny? You’ve been so quiet lately.”
“It’s this,” she said simply and pushed up the sleeve of the oversized sweater she had begged from me some time ago, saying she was cold.
It was the same arm where she’d been bitten—the one I had healed back on Chndra, the small moon where we had found her. Or thought I’d healed, anyway. When I looked at her arm I saw that the bite mark was back and it looked worse than ever.
The indentations of the Biter’s teeth—which had never fully faded, I remembered now—were black and there were dark tendrils of infection radiating up and down the length of Teeny’s slender forearm.
“Oh no!” I whispered in horror, cradling her arm gently in my hand. “Teeny, when did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It…it’s been going on a few days now,” she admitted in a low voice. “It was so gradual and I was trying so hard not to think about it—about what would happen if it really came back. But now…” She started to cry. “Now it’s worse than ever and I don’t know what to do. Please, Leah—can you heal me again?”
“Of course I will!” I exclaimed. “Don’t cry, sweetheart—we’ll get you fixed up, I promise.”
But it turned out to be a promise I couldn’t keep.
Though I cupped my hands around her wounded arm and concentrated until I was light-headed and panting with effort, I could barely summon any healing power at all. Only a faint, flickering glow of the energy I’d been able to call the last time came to me when I tried. The evil-looking black lines, like blood poisoning that ran up and down her arm, scarcely retreated an inch and the black ring of bite marks didn’t change at all.
At last I had to stop because I thought I was going to pass out. I was panting and gasping, my forehead beaded with sweat and yet I had scarcely anything to show for it.
“Is that it?” Teeny’s big eyes were more frightened than ever. “You can’t heal me this time?”
“I’m sorry,” I told her, leaning back weakly against the bunk. “I…I don’t know what’s wrong with me. What’s different from the last time I healed you. I…”
I trailed off, my mind going a million miles a minute. Come to think of it, I did know what was different this time.
It was Grav—or rather the lack of him.
The first time I had healed Teeny, it hadn’t been long after the intense sexual encounter Grav and I had had. I shivered all over just thinking of it—his hands and mouth on my skin…his tongue between my thighs…
That’s it! I thought. I need a power source and he’s it!
Or maybe it was just the energy we raised between us when we touched each other. Maybe it would have worked just as well with any man. But somehow, I didn’t think so. There was a soft little voice inside me insisting that it had to be Grav…that without him, I would never have enough power to heal Teeny once and for all.
“I’m un-healable.” Big tears were rolling down Teeny’s cheeks. “I’m going to turn into a Biter after all.”
“No, you won’t. Listen to me, Teeny…” I took her by the shoulders and looked at her sternly. “Don’t talk like that. You’re not going to turn into a Biter. I think I know what’s wrong and it’s not you—it’s me.”
“What…what does that mean?” She sniffed and wiped at her eyes with the oversized sweater sleeve.
“It means I just have to, uh, recharge my batteries before I can heal you again,” I told her.
“Rec
harge your batteries?” She looked at me, puzzled. “But…how?”
Well wasn’t that the million dollar question.
I knew how but I wasn’t sure how Grav would feel about it. Still, I had to try.
“Just give me some time,” I told Teeny. “And in the meantime, why don’t we get you something to help you sleep?”
There was a little glass bottle labeled tincture of attar` in the bag Zoe had packed for me. It was a natural sleeping aid, much like melatonin back on Earth, she had explained. Just a few drops under the tongue would result in a long, restful night’s sleep, completely free of bad dreams or worry.
I decided that for Teeny’s size, a single drop would do. She opened her mouth obediently and the moment the medicine was in her mouth, her eyes started looking heavy.
“Oh, Leah,” she whispered and yawned. “I’m so…so sleepy.”
“That’s because you need to rest.” I tucked her into her bunk, which was about the same as mine and kissed her cool forehead. She shivered slightly and I pulled the covers higher around her thin shoulders.
“G’ night, Leah,” she murmured drowsily.
“Good night, Teeny,” I whispered. “When you wake up, we’ll get this all figured out.”
“I…hope so.” She yawned again and it ended in a soft snore. Poor thing, she really was worn out! I stayed a few minutes more to make sure she was sleeping comfortably and then went back to my own room.
It was time to find Grav but first I had a few preparations to make. I wanted there to be no way he could turn me down—no way he could resist what I was going to ask for.
Luckily, Zoe had given me a few things that I thought might help…
Grav
“You want me to do what?” I frowned at Leah, not understanding. It was hard to concentrate on what she was saying because she was wearing a new outfit that was extremely fucking distracting. Still, I tried to focus. “What?” I asked again.
“You heard me.” She put her hands on her full hips, a little frown playing around her gorgeous mouth. “Teeny’s bite is back and it’s worse than ever. I need you to help me heal her. For good this time.”
“But…how?” I demanded. I’d been sitting on my sleeping platform, going over some specs on my hand-held when she knocked on my door. Now I put it down on the bedside table and spread my hands. “I don’t understand what you want me to do. You’re the La-ti-zal.”
“So you keep telling me but apparently this La-ti-zal needs a power source.” Leah gave me a determined stare. “In this case, that power source is you.”
“I don’t understand,” I said again.
“Yes, you do. Don’t you remember the last time I healed Teeny? It was right after you and I, uh…”
“Right after I tasted your pussy?” I growled.
Leah’s cheeks got pink but she wouldn’t drop her gaze.
“That’s right,” she said. “After you, um, tasted me I was able to heal her. So…I need your help again.”
I could feel my shaft hardening in my trousers. Gods she was beautiful, standing there looking all defiant and gorgeous and demanding that I help her! I love a female that knows her mind and goes after what she wants.
Especially if what she wants is me.
Still…we had to be careful. I didn’t want to go too far—past the point of no return. And right now I wanted her so badly and it had been so long since I’d allowed myself to touch her, I felt like I was on a hair trigger.
“Well?” Clearly Leah was waiting an answer.
“All right,” I said at last. “But we need to take this slow, darlin’. I, uh, don’t want to go too far.”
“You mean you don’t want to bond me to you,” she said calmly. “All right. I can respect that.”
“I mean I don’t want to hurt you,” I growled, frowning. “Braxians can get kind of rough sometimes. Not on purpose, just because of our nature.”
“You didn’t hurt me before,” she pointed out. “When you…when you tasted me.”
I closed my eyes briefly, remembering the delicious flavor of her pussy, of the way she had moaned and cried and writhed under my tongue as she gave it up for me completely. Gods, she was beautiful! I wanted that again—wanted to worship her with my mouth until she came again and again and again.
I still thought trying to bond would be a bad idea—it wasn’t fair to her to try to tie her to me. But I could definitely see tasting her. Tasting and touching her and making her come just one last time. It was more than I could have hoped for—more than I deserved. But I wanted to be clear about the details.
“I didn’t need you so badly last time,” I said honestly, opening my eyes to look at her. “I haven’t let myself touch you in what feels like for-fuckin’-ever, darlin’. Remember how you were feelin’ the last time, when I tasted you to make you come?”
“Of course I do.” Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright. “I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin or die I needed to come so badly.” She frowned. “Grav, are you saying you’re—”
“I’m not that bad off, no,” I said answering the question before she could finish it. “But I’m not far from it, either. See, tasting you the way I did last time is a mark of possession among my people. I think my body’s been wanting to finish what we started ever since. I just don’t want to get out of control—that’s all.”
And I could definitely see myself getting out of control with her if I wasn’t careful. She was looking so beautiful I was halfway to the edge already. She must have taken the time to change before she came to me with her little proposition because that damn distracting outfit she had on was one I had never seen before—one that Zoe had probably given her.
It was a long, sheer red gown with a deep V-neck that showed the full curves of her gorgeous breasts. Her nipples, already tight, pressed against the thin material making my mouth water to suck them. Not only that, but there was a high slit up one thigh that showed her long, curvy legs.
I wanted to spread her gown wide and get between her thighs to rub my cheek against her soft little sex. I wondered if she was wearing another pair of those tiny panties under the sexy red dress and if so, were they wet with her juices? Wet the way they had been last time when I cupped her…when I put my tongue deep in her soft little slit…
“We can take it slow,” Leah offered, breaking into my feverish fantasy. “Just, you know, do a little at a time. I think I can tell by the way I feel inside if I’ve got enough power to do a healing or not.” She sighed. “Right now my tank is completely empty.”
“And I’m guessing it needs to be completely full in order to heal Teeny all the way,” I said, frowning. “How far do you think we’re going to have to go, exactly, darlin’?”
Leah nibbled her lush lower lip in that way that made me want to kiss her so damn badly I could hardly keep from grabbing her. I fisted my hands at my sides, willing away the red haze of passion that wanted to seep into my vision. Gods, I really was in a bad way!
“Well?” I asked again, my voice dipping down to a growl, since she hadn’t answered. “How far, Leah?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “As far as we have to. I have to heal her, Grav—all the way this time. I can’t explain it but I have a feeling this is my last chance. Teeny’s last chance.”
“All right.” When she put it that way I knew I had to put my misgivings aside. “All right, we’ll do it,” I said and pulled her into my arms. “But I have to warn you, darlin’—I’m not as in control of myself as I’d like right now. I want you too damn badly.”
“I want you, too, Grav” she whispered breathlessly and I thought of the way she’d called my name while I knelt between her thighs. Gods, I wanted that again—wanted it so fuckin’ bad I could hardly see straight! But we had to be careful—had to take it slow or it might go too far. I might go too far. And I didn’t want that.
As badly as I wanted her, I didn’t want to hurt her or d
o something we would both regret. I just had to be careful and I swore I would be.
But there are some promises you just can’t keep, you know? As she reached for me, I felt something inside me break and the idea of going slow and careful flew right out the fuckin’ window.
I grabbed her and pulled her against me.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Leah
“Oh, Grav!” I gasped when he pulled me tight against him. I could feel every inch of his big, hard, muscular body pressing against mine. And I do mean every inch, including the hard bulge between his thighs that was poking insistently against my belly.
I wondered for the first time if this was entirely safe. Zoe and I had talked about pushing Grav to the edge and beyond—forcing him to that place of no return that all Braxians had, but somehow I hadn’t thought that it might be dangerous to push him there. I remembered the way Captain Verrai hadn’t wanted to go after Grav, even with a whole squadron of Imperial Guards.
But that was fighting—this is loving. They’re not the same thing so it shouldn’t be dangerous—right? I tried to tell myself. But the way Grav was holding me to him and looking into my eyes so intensely I wasn’t so sure.
“Gods, you’re gorgeous,” he said hoarsely, gripping my ass in both hands and pulling me closer so he could rub against me. “Where did you get this little red dress? It’s drivin’ me fuckin’ crazy.”
“Zoe gave it to me,” I whispered breathlessly. “She…she wanted me to wear it to try to seduce you. But I swear this isn’t about that, Grav. I mean, I did put it on to try and get you to agree to this but it’s just for Teeny—I promise.”
“I know it,” he growled, pulling me even closer. I could feel the hard ridge of his shaft pressing right against me now, rubbing against the swollen lips of my sex through the thin material of the gown and the white lace panties I had on beneath. “I know it, darlin’,” he repeated. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Which is why we’re gonna go slow and only do what we have to do to build up your power again.”