“Good. Then you’re almost back to normal.” Grav looked considerably relieved—then almost angry. “Don’t scare me like that, Leah. And next time, don’t touch a fuckin’ thing unless I tell you its safe,” he added in a low growl.
“You did tell me it was safe to go with Magda,” I pointed out, struggling to sit up. “In fact—”
But my words were cut off as a fresh wave of dizziness took me. I gasped and fell back on the bed, my un-hurt hand going reflexively to rub my chest.
“What? What is it?” Grav demanded, looking worried all over again.
I didn’t want to tell him. Especially when just having his warm tongue caressing my hand and fingers was enough to bring all those strange, hot feelings rushing back. I could just imagine what it would be like to feel his mouth on my breasts.
If you don’t tell him, you’ll die, whispered an implacable little voice in the back of my head. Tell him, Leah—tell him now—before it’s too late.
It was true and I knew it. I opened my mouth to say something, only my lips and tongue didn’t want to work.
“Leah? Leah, what is it?” Grav looked half angry, half worried as he leaned over me, his alien eyes scanning over my body to see what was wrong.
I couldn’t talk anymore—I don’t know why, maybe it had to do with the neurotoxin paralyzing my vocal chords. But I did still have some use of my limbs. Clumsily, I reached to my chest and fumbled with the green cloak, trying to get it unfastened from around my throat.
Grav seemed to understand because he ripped the cloak open and his eyes widened.
“Goddess of Mercy,” he said hoarsely. “Leah, no.”
I tried to answer or reach for him, but nothing seemed to want to work now. I merely looked at him, pleading with my eyes.
Help me—please, Grav, help me!
But I didn’t know if he could or not. Didn’t know if I wasn’t already too far gone to be saved.
Grav
When I opened her cloak, I saw a sight that made my heart clench with fear. I’d thought the red scratch marks on her hand looked bad—but they were nothing to what the kit’s claws had done to her chest.
It was easy to see through the gauzy white, mostly-see through blouse she wore—the creamy slopes of her breasts were covered in the little red scratches. And every scratch had deadly pink lines radiating out from it.
This was bad—so fuckin’ bad. Not only were the poisonous scratches extensive, they were also way too close to her heart. In fact, I was afraid at any minute her heart might stop.
But no, I couldn’t lose her like that—I wouldn’t. I might not have given her my oath, but she was still mine to protect, mine to care for and watch over and heal. I had to save her, damn it! I had to.
I must have looked like a male in a pleasure vid, but I didn’t care. I ripped her silky shirt open, leaned down, and began licking the full globes of her breasts as hard and long as I could.
Leah
The warm, wet, ticklish sensation brought me back again. But this time it wasn’t in my hand—this time it was all over my bare breasts.
I felt my nipples harden in reaction as a hot tongue glided over my slopes, circled one tender areola, and then found its way to the other.
The fire inside me raged—the pent-up sexual frustration that must have been building for years. I moaned and bucked upward, arching my back to offer him more.
Grav seemed to take my motion as an act of pain or outrage. He paused his licking for a moment to look up at me.
“Hey now, it’s all right, darlin’,” he growled hoarsely. “Not tryin’ to take advantage—just want to heal you.”
He’s just healing you—that’s all he’s doing, I lectured myself. So settle down, Leah and let him. But though my mind wanted to behave, my body wouldn’t listen. The heat between my thighs was building and building but I needed something else—something more. How could I get it?
“Grav,” I heard myself saying—hooray my voice worked again—“Grav, please. I need…I hurt…”
“Tell me where you hurt, darlin’. Tell me and I’ll fix it,” he promised softly.
“Here,” I whispered and pointed to my right nipple.
Deep down, I knew it wasn’t right. But I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted that feeling so badly—the hot, breathless feeling of pleasure that spiraled ever upward, threatening to break me completely if I ever reached the peak.
And yet, I wanted to reach it so badly I didn’t care.
“You sure, darlin’? I don’t see any scratches there.” Grav looked at me skeptically.
“They’re there,” I lied recklessly. “And they hurt—hurt so bad, Grav. Please…please heal me.”
Taking a chance, I reached up to caress his horns—those black, curling rams’ horns that seemed to pulse and grow in my grasp when I touched them.
Grav let out a low, hoarse growl and leaned down to drag the flat of his tongue over my tender peak.
I moaned and surged up to meet him. His mouth felt so good on me—so hot and wet and perfect. And yet still I wanted more.
“Grav,” I gasped as he licked and swirled his tongue around my sensitive peak. “Grav, please, I…I think the poison is really…really deep.”
He stopped for a moment and looked up at me, panting.
“What are you saying, darlin’?” he demanded hoarsely. “What do you want me to do?”
“It’s not what I want,” I lied recklessly. “It’s what I need.”
Well, maybe it wasn’t a lie at that.
“What?” he growled again.
“You know what.” I stroked his horns again, tracing their spirals in a lazy caress I could tell was affecting him. “I need you to suck them—suck my nipples. To…to suck the poison out.”
He frowned and shifted. He was half on top of me at that point and I could feel the hard length of his shaft pressing against my thigh. For a moment I wondered what it would be like to have that long, hot length inside me. To spread my legs for him and let him fill me…
Stop it—just stop it now! That’s not right and you know it, whispered the panicky little voice inside my brain.
I completely ignored it.
“Please, Grav,” I begged him shamelessly. “Please…suck my nipples. I want you to—I need you to.”
“Gods, darlin’, I shouldn’t,” he groaned and then leaned down to do it anyway.
I cried out as a pleasure so fierce it was almost pain flooded me. It burned through me like wildfire when he finally sucked one ripe bud between his lips and then drew it deep, as though he was trying to get as much of my breast in his mouth as he could.
My hands tightened on his horns and I found I was guiding him, tugging him in the direction I needed him most. From one breast to the other, he switched at my urging, sucking both nipples hard and deep until they were cherry-red and swollen with his passion and mine.
I moaned and cried, writhing on the bed beneath him, wanting him so badly I couldn’t breathe. The feelings of passion were overwhelming—the sexual pleasure I had thought would always be denied me was flooding me, making it hard to think, hard to breathe. All I wanted was for the pleasure to go on forever—all I wanted was for it to never end.
I began to feel like I was on the edge of something—something unexplainable and huge. A mountain I was trying to climb and when I finally reached the summit I would jump from the highest peak and break my body to pieces in the pleasure I found there.
I wanted so damn badly to jump.
And I was close…so close as Grav wrapped his big hands around my waist and pulled me to him, sucking my nipples hard and deep into his hot mouth, lashing my sensitive peaks with his tongue until I moaned and cried and pressed my thighs together over my throbbing sex thinking,
Soon! It’s going to happen soon…I can feel it! So close…so close…
And that was when he stopped.
“Wh—what?” I looked up at him, uncompre
hending as he released my nipple from his mouth and moved back. He was breathing hard, almost panting and this close I could definitely see the wild, red spark far back in the depths of his white-on-black eyes. “Grav?” I asked, but he was already pulling away, taking the sweet, addictive sensations with him. “Grav,” I tried again, made shameless by my need. “Why did you stop?”
“Stopped while I still could.” His voice was low and rough and he got off me with jerky motions. “You should cover yourself, darlin’—you’re healed.”
Healed…healing…suddenly I remembered what the wise woman, Magda, had said to me. Something about the more healing I had, the more it would increase my need. But still, I didn’t want the pleasure to end—the wild, deliciously sweet, unfamiliar sensation running through my veins was as strong as any drug. I wanted more—had to have more.
“Please!” Half sitting up, I reached for him, twining my arms around his neck, pulling him back down to me. “Please.” I arched up against him, rubbing my bare breasts wantonly against the broad, hard planes of his chest. “Grav, I was close to something—so close.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” he growled. Reaching up, he unclasped my hands from around his neck. Gently, but firmly, he put them back down by my sides. “I could smell it on you—hell, I still can. You’re hot and wet between your legs—like a female in heat. Don’t you think I can tell how close you were to the peak?”
“Then help me reach it,” I begged, still unable to stop myself or control my needy lust. “Please, I’ve never…never had that before. Please.”
“Don’t you think I wanna give it to you, darlin’?” Grav leaned down, holding my eyes with his, his gaze burning into mine. “Don’t you think I want to feel your sweet body coming under mine? But we can’t—I can’t.”
“Why not?” I demanded. “I don’t understand, Grav—why not?”
“Because I might not be able to stop, all right?” He growled, pulling away from me. “I’m half Braxian, Leah. We have a point of no return and I don’t want to go there with you. Don’t want to hurt you—all right?”
I could have cried with frustration. To have the pleasure I had always been denied so close—to feel it building and building almost to the peak one moment, only to have it yanked away from me at the last minute was enough to make me want to scream.
“I don’t care,” I said recklessly. “Don’t care about anything—just do it.”
“No.” He got off the bed with stiff, jerky motions and I could see the huge, long ridge of his shaft pressing hard against the crotch of his black leather trousers. “No.”
“But why?” I could feel the hot tears in my eyes now and I was helpless to stop them. “Why?”
“Because I care, Leah. Care a hell of a lot more than I should.”
And with that, he left me panting on the bed, feeling ashamed and frustrated, but still aching with desire all the same.
Left me still wanting him.
Chapter Twelve
Grav
I paced back and forth, up and down the length of the short main corridor of my ship, trying to get hold of myself. I was close…so damn close to that invisible line. And if I crossed it—if I let myself cross it…
Can’t do that, I lectured myself sternly. Can’t go there and you know it. She’s too far above you. You’re not worthy of one like her—not after what you’ve done. It’ll only end in heartache. For both of you. Better leave it alone…
It was damn hard to talk myself out of going back to my room, stripping off my clothes, and rejoining Leah on the sleeping platform. Especially when my mind kept wanting to replay the scene in my head—the sight of her moaning and writhing against me…arching her back to offer herself…begging for more…
No! I had to stop thinking like this.
If you want to put a damper on your feelings, just imagine what she’d think of you if she really knew you, whispered a cynical voice in my brain. If she knew what you did to get locked up in that triple max slam…
The thought was sobering. Very fucking sobering. By the time Leah came out of my room, wrapped modestly in the green cloak again, I just about had myself under control.
Just about.
“Grav,” she said, looking down and scuffing the toe of one little foot against the metal floor. “I…I’m sorry. I know I was acting kind of…crazy back there.”
“’s all right, darlin’” I said, a little stiffly. “You didn’t know what you were doing.”
“Yes, I did!” Her eyes flashed in her pale face as she looked up at me. “I knew what I was doing…and what I was asking for. I can’t blame any kind of temporary insanity. It’s my fault. All my fault.”
“C’mon now, darlin’, I don’t think you can take all the blame. I think I might’ve had a little somethin’ to do with it,” I pointed out. “Especially since it was me sucking your sweet nipples and not the other way around.”
“You don’t understand…” She took a deep breath. “Remember how I told you that Gerald—my, uh, mate—that he had a reason to beat me?”
I frowned at her. “Look, I don’t care what you did—no male has the right to beat a female. It’s fuckin’ wrong. The Goddess made males strong to protect females—not hurt them.”
“I said he had a reason to—not that he had the right, although, I’m sure in his mind, they were one and the same.” She lifted her chin defiantly. “And before you ask, no, it wasn’t that I was cheating on him. Up until just now I’ve never done anything like that. Anything at all.”
“I believe you,” I said quietly, and I did. My Braxian nose can almost always smell a lie—and she didn’t smell like she was lying to me. “So what reason did he think he had?”
“I didn’t… I mean I…I couldn’t satisfy him. Sexually, I mean.” She twisted her fingers together and I had the feeling she wanted to look down at the floor, to study her shoes again, but she resisted the impulse. Instead she held my eyes with hers and kept talking. “I tried to, of course. I wanted to be a good wife, but I couldn’t help it. I…I…” She shook her head as if the words wouldn’t come.
“You what, darlin’?” I asked gently. I had the feeling she was about to admit something to me—something huge. Something she was ashamed of but needed to get out anyway. “You can tell me,” I said. “Tell me anything. I’m not in a position to judge you or anybody.”
“I never felt anything,” she burst out at last. “When we…when Gerald and I made love. It was like he was touching me with gloves on. Or maybe it was more like all my nerves were wrapped in cotton. I don’t know how else to explain it but I couldn’t…couldn’t get excited for him. Couldn’t get turned on. I tried to pretend but Gerald knew—he knew I didn’t feel anything when he touched me.”
The words were flowing faster now—I had a feeling this was something she’d been keeping bottled up inside her for a long time, maybe for years—and now it was finally coming out.
“I tried. I tried so hard.” There were tears in her eyes now. “But it was like that part of me was missing. I thought there was something wrong with me. I…I still think that.” She put her face in her hands and sobs shook her narrow shoulders. “I’m broken,” she whispered. “Broken.”
“Darlin’…” I couldn’t stand to see her in pain. Crossing the room in two strides, I took her in my arms, even though just minutes before I’d been telling myself I should never touch her or be close to her again. But her tears were too much to bear.
Standing on her tiptoes, Leah wrapped her arms around my neck and for a few minutes, she clung to me and wept. I stroked her hair and whispered soothing words, comforting her as best I could, while I ached for her pain. It occurred to me that this was the first real break-down she’d had, despite all that had happened to her and everything her worthless mate had done. It was surprising to me that she’d held out this long and I didn’t blame her for losing it a little now.
Females need to cry sometimes. I don’t
mean to say they’re less than males because of that, or that they’re too emotional. It’s just that their emotions are closer to the surface. As a Protector who specializes in warding only females, I know this to be true. Just as I know the best way to deal with such heartbreak is to hold your female and let her cry.
So many males want to fix the problem—to go out and right the wrong or provide an answer that will turn off the tears and push the uncomfortable emotions aside.
That’s because it’s easier to play the hero than the comforter.
But in the end, your female needs a comforter more often. And if you’ll only hold her and let her weep once in a while when she needs to, I promise she’ll see you as both and you’ll both be the happier for it.
Leah wasn’t my female—not really—but I knew enough to hold her and let her cry herself out. Let her get out some of the pain and tension and heartbreak that must have been building up in her for years until she could finally speak again.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered at last, letting me go to swipe at her eyes. “It’s just…I’d never felt anything sexually, and I thought I never would. Until you…until you healed me. Healed the bruises and cuts on my face, I mean.” She motioned to her lovely, delicate face. “And then just now, when you healed the scratches the kit made.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know why that is, I swear I don’t, darlin’. I know males of the Twelve Peoples often heal their mates but I’ve never heard tell of it turning, uh, sexual.”
“Magda said something to me about it.” She nibbled her lush lower lip, making me want to kiss her there. “She said it had to do with my own, uh, talents. And that the more I was healed, the more it would make my ‘need’ grow.”
“Did she, now?” I frowned. “That’s fuckin’ strange. She thought it was bound up with your La-ti-zal powers?”
“I think so.” Leah shrugged. “But I don’t have any powers.”