Out of the corner of his eye he looked her over, wondering if he could actually go through with this. When his eyes fell on her large breasts he knew damn well that he could.
"Nope," she said, making the word pop. "That's too much work right now. I want to focus on getting my life together and be in a better position if my life ever crumbles around me again. I want to be able to take care of myself. I also want to live a little. Something I haven't really done," she said wistfully.
"You're serious?" he asked, even though at the moment he didn't doubt her for a second.
"Yes."
"You only want sex, nothing more, right?" he stressed.
She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Didn't I just say that?"
"Good," he said, not bothering to hide his shit eating grin.
"What's so good about that?" she asked, sounding confused.
"Because this will work out for me," he said, giving himself another pat on the back for coming up with another excellent plan. If she went along with what he had in mind, and why wouldn't she? he was a Bradford after all, he could work her out of his system and keep her safe. So, really he was doing her a favor by offering to do this.
He sighed heavily, sometimes he was just too damn giving.
"What will work out for you?" Zoe asked, sounding groggy.
He reached over and took her much smaller hand into his and held it, running his thumb over the back of her hand.
"You and I are going to have sex."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Now?" Zoe asked, sounding so damn hopeful that he couldn't help but laugh.
"No, not now, my eager little drunk. When you're sober and you agree to my game plan." And only then. He wasn't stupid enough to completely trust Zoe to make this agreement until she knew what she was getting into and what he wasn't willing to give her.
Chapter 15
Oh god........
She was dying. There was no other explanation for the way she felt. Her head was pounding, her mouth felt like something had crawled inside and died and she felt sick to her stomach.
Hoping that today was Sunday and really having no other choice but to lay there even if it wasn't, she closed her eyes and prayed for death or unconsciousness and not really caring at the moment about which wish was granted.
Sometime later she woke up feeling slightly better. Her stomach wasn't as bad and her headache had dulled a bit. She turned her head and stared numbly at her dark windows, wondering if it was morning or night. One look at her alarm clock let her know that it was seven p.m. Sunday night.
Well, she thought, carefully getting out of bed, at least she hadn't missed work. She stumbled over to her bathroom and flicked on the light and winced when it nearly blinded her. Why was everything so bright, she wondered as she relieved herself.
A few minutes later when she was more oriented and coordinated she turned on the shower, thankful that it was at full blast and loaded her toothbrush up with toothpaste and began the job of getting rid of the taste of old gym socks. After she brushed her teeth once more she gargled with mouthwash for an extra two minutes. She climbed into the shower and groaned as hot water poured over her and made her feel more alive.
What the hell happened last night?
She really couldn't remember much, but she knew that would change. The few times she'd gotten drunk in her life she had the misfortune of remembering everything that happened the next day, a rather nasty side effect of having a photographic memory.
A rather frightening thought occurred to her. What if she'd had sex? Did she make him wear a condom? Did she enjoy it? After a minute she relaxed. No, she definitely didn't have sex since she didn't feel tender between her legs, but that didn't mean she hadn't done something equally as stupid.
If she didn't push it she'd remember sooner rather than later. She knew the key was just to relax and let it come to her.
"You feeling better?" Trevor suddenly asked, making Zoe wince. Damn hangover making everything sound sharp and loud.
"Yes, I think so," she said loud enough to be heard over the sound of running water and through the wall. She wondered if Trevor had been a witness to anything stupid she may have done.
"That's good," he said absently. "I took care of Toby today."
"Oh, thank you," she said loudly, feeling horrible that she'd neglected the poor baby.
"Zoe?"
"Yes?"
"Do you remember anything about last night?" he asked, sounding a little more than simply curious.
"Not yet, but I will," she said, swallowing nervously. "Did I do something monumentally stupid?"
"You mean besides going to a bar to have sex with a complete stranger and getting drunk?" he asked, dryly.
She sighed with relief. If getting drunk was the only stupid thing she'd done last night then she'd count herself lucky. Then she cringed when his words sank in.
He knew.
"I'm guessing I was pretty chatty last night," she said, trying to sound casual about the whole thing and praying she'd been able to keep her mouth shut about some of the more embarrassing details.
"No. Not really unless you count letting everyone in the bar know how badly you wanted to have sex last night."
"Damn it," she groaned. "Next time I'll have to make sure to pass on the liquid courage."
"There won't be a next time," Trevor said firmly, making her frown.
"That's not really your decision," she said tightly. She'd been bullied enough over the last three years. She wasn't about to let Trevor think he could boss her around, well, and not pay her for it that is.
"You and I came to an agreement last night so I think it's safe to say that it's very much my business," Trevor said, making her more than a little nervous.
What had her drunken big mouth gotten her into now?
"Um, and what agreement is that?" she asked, trying to sound cool and collected when on the inside she was freaking out and hoping that whatever he was about to tell her was insignificant like promising not to drink, which at the moment she was completely on board with.
He ignored her question and asked one of his own. "Is there any hot water left?"
"Plenty," she said, knowing there was at least ten minutes of hot water left. The water pressure might suck, but at least the hot water tank was huge.
"Good," he said, sounding really close. "Pass the soap would you?"
She was about to roll her eyes at his lame "shower neighbor" joke when she realized two things. He just said that in her ear and there was something hard and thick brushing up against the middle of her back.
Swallowing hard and praying that this was some kind of alcohol induced hallucination, she slowly looked over her shoulder and may have screamed.
**********
"Are you done yet?" Trevor asked as if stepping into the shower naked with her and sporting the largest erection she'd ever seen in her life was perfectly normal and maybe in his world it was, but right now she was still gasping for air and holding a hand over her chest, trying to make her heart stop pounding erratically in her chest.
"What the hell are you doing in here?" she demanded once she didn't have to fight to breathe.
"I own the house," he explained as if she were slow as he reached around her and snagged the soap out of the soap holder. He held the soap up to his nose and smelled, frowning. "Strawberries and cream?"
"Yes," she answered automatically as she did her best not to let her eyes drift over the most amazing body she'd ever seen and failing miserably. When she somehow managed to pull her gaze away from the rather impressive appendage that seemed to be reaching out to her she gave herself a mental shake and forced herself to focus.
"I meant what are you doing in my bathroom?" she demanded, only remembering now that she was naked too late and only because she caught him running his eyes over her naked body and licking his lips hungrily, which was pretty flattering and hot, but something she needed to really ignore if she expected answers a
nytime soon.
"Why wouldn't I be in here?" he asked as he washed his body. "You and I have an agreement."
"To save water by sharing showers?" she asked, confused and wondering just how much she'd drank last night.
He chuckled as he stepped forward, giving her no choice but to step backward or have that monster between his legs whack her in the stomach. She turned slightly so he couldn't get a good look at her body as she watched him rinse off.
"You know what agreement," he said, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to her mouth that left her confused and really turned on. It had been five years after all and Trevor was one of the hottest men she'd ever seen. Any woman would be turned on to find herself naked in a shower with a man she'd never thought would look at her twice never mind look as though he was ready to pounce.
"Please refresh my memory," she said, wondering what kind of agreement would include joint showers and kissing.
Grinning, Trevor leaned down and brushed his mouth against hers, once, twice and once more, making her stand on her tiptoes to follow his mouth as it moved away.
"I meant about the agreement," she said, sounding breathless even to her own ears. Such a simple kiss and she was ready to jump him. Five years was way too long to go without sex.
"Well," he said, dipping his head under the showerhead. "You and I decided that we should have an exclusive mutually beneficial sexual relationship without the relationship."
She worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she sorted through his words. "Do you mean friends with benefits?"
He sighed heavily. "My definition was better, but yes. You and I agreed to have all the benefits without the relationship."
Zoe opened her mouth to tell him that he must be joking when everything from the night before came crashing into her mind. Every embarrassing moment and word had her inwardly wincing and wishing she could bury herself in a hole.
That is until something else occurred to her.
"Damn it! That bartender played me!" she gasped, remembering that the bartender kept the drinks coming until she forgot to ask for her change. "I must have tipped him close to fifty bucks," she grumbled unhappily. Damn it. That was her spending money for the month.
"That would explain why he loaded the drinks with alcohol," Trevor said, reaching past her to shut the water off, which was probably a good idea since the water had started to cool.
"Fine," she mumbled, feeling like an idiot. She didn't usually part with her money so freely. Thankfully she had plenty of money coming in where fifty dollars shouldn't make that much of a difference, but it did. She had plans for her money and she was doing her damndest to stay on a budget.
"Why do I have a feeling that you're no longer thinking about our little arrangement," Trevor muttered unhappily as he wrapped a towel around his hips.
"Stupid bartender," she mumbled, not even caring that she was pouting.
Trevor chuckled softly as he helped wrap a towel around her. Zoe barely paid attention as she forced her mind past the loss of the fifty dollars onto the rest of the night, trying not to cringe when she remembered the things she'd said to Trevor. Well, at least she didn't have to worry about explaining why she wanted sex or wonder why Trevor would think she'd be open to a purely sexual relationship, because she was.
She just never would have imagined that Trevor was open to having one with her. "What are the rules? Not that I'm agreeing to this, but I want to know what you would expect," she asked when she couldn't remember talking to Trevor about that part. It must have been when she passed out, although she did remember one particularly memorable comment Trevor made as he helped her into bed last night.
"And I am not calling you a god after sex," she said, rolling her eyes.
"We'll see," Trevor said, nudging her out of the bathroom and towards the bed.
She sat down, resisting the urge to move away when Trevor sat down next to her, making sure their towel clad thighs touched.
"The rules are pretty simple," he began as he took one of her hands into both of his so that he could toy with her fingers. "As long as we're sleeping together we don't sleep with anyone else."
"Okay," she said hesitantly. "What if we started seeing other people?"
"Until we get serious or start sleeping with them then we're fine, but the minute that happens our arrangement is over."
She nodded.
"I need to make one thing clear, Zoe," he said, looking down at her. "This is just sex, Zoe. I don't want a relationship anymore than you do," he said. "If at any time either one of us wants to stop, it ends. No hurt feelings and no drama."
"That's fine," she said, liking this situation more and more. This could really work for, heck for both of them. She didn't want a relationship right now and was under absolutely no illusion that Trevor would want one from her. They were casual enough friends, she guessed, that this arrangement should be able to work out without worrying about becoming too attached to each other. It was a simple arrangement, one that benefited both of them.
When one of them got sick of the situation, most likely Trevor, they would be able to end things without worry and go back to their old relationship, which wasn't a hell of a lot, but that was a plus right now because becoming intimate wouldn't ruin it.
"We're not dating. This is just sex, plain and simple. Can you handle that?" he asked, stopping his ministrations on her fingers as he waited for her answer.
Yes she could. She was in no position to get involved in a serious relationship. As much as she wanted sex she also didn't want the hassle of having to answer to someone or having to take a chance on a stranger. Following through with this arrangement with Trevor would make her feel more comfortable and she wouldn't have to worry about hurt feelings in the end because they both knew what this was and what they wanted.
"And this arrangement stays between us?" she asked, knowing if he couldn't keep this a secret she'd end it before it started. It was nobody's business what she did. She also didn't want to have people talking behind her back.
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Trevor said huskily as his eyes dipped to her cleavage.
"Can you answer something for me?" she asked, genuinely surprised that he'd be willing to get into an arrangement with her. "Why do you want to do this with me? You could probably get any woman you wanted into bed?"
"Well," he said with a sly little grin as he dipped his head and pressed a kiss to her neck, making her gasp softly, "you're discreet, you know where we stand, and I want you," he said, creating a trail of lingering kisses to her ear.
She noticed he didn't say anything like she was beautiful or pretty and she forced herself not to be disappointed. It was more than enough that a man like Trevor wanted her at all and she wasn't about to screw this up before it started.
Chapter 16
"We're really going to do this?" Zoe asked, slightly panting.
"Not unless you don't want to," he said, praying she wouldn't tell him to stop. If she told him to stop he would, but he wasn't sure he'd survive. She tasted so damn good and felt even better.
Her skin was so soft and warm, he thought as he pushed off the bed, never taking his mouth away from her neck as he moved to kneel on the floor in front of her, gently pushing her legs apart as he settled himself between them.
As he licked and kissed his way down to her cleavage he reached down and yanked his towel off and let it drop. When he reached up to do the same for Zoe she stopped him by grabbing her towel and held it tightly against her chest. He pressed one last kiss to the top slope of her breast and sat back.
"What's wrong?" he asked, reaching up to push back a loose strand of that mahogany hair that he once foolishly thought was plain. Now he realized how beautiful it was with natural hues of light brown running through it. He also liked that it made her baby blue eyes brighter, almost as if they glowed.
When she started that little nervous habit of worrying her bottom lip and looking downward as she noticeably tightened her grip
on the towel, he wondered if she was changing her mind. He really hoped she wasn't. He needed this so damn badly that he was in actual physical pain now. Never in his life had he wanted a woman this badly before and he knew if he didn't have her and get her out of his system that nothing in his life would ever be right again.
"Don't tell me you're getting shy on me," he teased softly, noting the rather lovely blush creeping up her cheeks. "Holy shit, you are," he blurted out, earning a glare from her.
"Sweet--Zoe," he said, catching himself in time before he said something foolish. This was an arrangement, nothing more and he wouldn't hurt her or confuse her by using endearments to make her think otherwise. "I just saw you naked not ten minutes ago," he pointed out gently.
"I know," she murmured hesitantly as she continued to worry her bottom lip, making him a little more nervous.
Please don't change your mind, Zoe, he chanted in his head as he dropped his hands away from her towel and placed them on her knees to see how she'd react. When she didn't shove his hands away or flinch, he took that as a good sign.
"It's just that," she clasped the towel in one hand and dropped the other on her leg where she began to absently trace his fingers, "you surprised me in the shower and I was so focused on trying to figure out what happened last night and why you were naked in my bathroom that I didn't give it much thought."
"And now....," he prompted.
She raised her eyes and looked at him and he had to fight back the urge to pull her into his arms and hold her. Zoe looked so miserable and scared. She pulled her hand away from his and joined the other one in holding the towel against her as a shield.
"And now I'm not sure you're going to want to do this," she mumbled, sounding defeated.
"Why wouldn't I want to do this, Zoe? It was my idea and believe me when I tell you I've been thinking about doing this for a while now," he said, running his hands slowly up and down her towel covered legs to offer comfort and because he could not sit here and not touch her.