by Sophie Oak
But she wasn’t. Oh, she wasn’t even close to being out of it. She
was right in the middle, and she didn’t even know why or what they
were really coming after her for, though Stef had a horrible idea.
Without pausing to say good-bye to Max and Rye, Stef took off
running for the diner. He had to find her and find that painting.
* * * *
Jen sniffled and dragged great breaths of air into her lungs as she
sat in a booth at the diner.
“Asshole.” Rachel slapped at the table in a much-appreciated
show of female solidarity. Rachel had shown up at Callie’s cabin just
as Jen and Callie had gotten back from Stef’s. The women had
commiserated with Jen before Rachel announced she needed
breakfast.
“He’s my best friend, but I’m going with you on this one, Rach.
Asshole.” Callie’s sweet voice always sounded odd when she cursed.
“Fucking asshole.” Zane’s did not. Zane sounded perfectly
comfortable calling Stef all sorts of vulgar names. His huge frame
dominated the booth at Stella’s.
Jen felt stupid. She was crying in the middle of a diner. She’d
managed to hold on to her self-esteem for a little while. She’d gotten to Callie’s. She’d moved her pitiful belongings into the loft, climbing up the ladder into Callie’s childhood room. There was a cot on the
floor and a small dresser. She’d sat on the cot and stared out at the
mountain knowing Stef was sitting in his place. Jen had sat there for
an hour wondering if he even noticed she was gone.
Why did she have to love an idiot?
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“It’s not working,” Zane whispered to his wife. “You said it
would work. I think she’s still broken.”
“I am not broken.” Jen frowned at Zane. He sat looking so manly
and hunky hot. Now he was madly in love with his wife, but he and
Nate had put Callie through the ringer, too. It was just what men did.
“And you’re an asshole, too.”
Zane’s handsome face lit with surprise. He stared at Jen
openmouthed before turning back to his wife. “Why am I an asshole?
I drove you to pick her up. I cleaned out the loft so she would have a place to not be homeless in.”
Jen sniffed, a nasty feeling in her gut. She didn’t particularly want
to have anything to do with men right now. It didn’t matter how nice
he’d been to her. “Do you have a penis?”
“Last time I checked,” Zane replied.
“Then you’re an asshole.” She couldn’t help it. She picked up her
napkin as a little sob escaped. God, she ached. It was a real physical pain.
“I told you.” Rachel’s hand came out, patting Jen’s back. “Let it
out, sweetie. Don’t hold back just because one of them is around.”
“One of them?” Zane asked, obviously confused at his persona-
non-grata status.
Callie sighed. “Yes, baby. You have a penis. That makes you the
enemy right now. Jen just broke up with the love of her life. Do you
really think she wants to be comforted by you?”
“Max heard Jen had broken up with Stef. Did you see how he
treated her? He tipped his hat and ran the other way,” Rachel
explained as she wolfed down her pancakes. “Rye wouldn’t even get
out of the truck until she’d walked on by.”
“I couldn’t leave Callie,” Zane explained. “I haven’t trained an
overgrown dog to follow her around.”
Q’s head came up over the table. His tongue came out as he
looked at Rachel’s plate. She patted his head to settle him back down.
“Don’t you dare,” Callie said.
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Jen listened to her friends. She knew they were trying to be
helpful. They were trying to be supportive, but they had families and
futures. Rachel was just about to give birth, and Callie had just
announced she was pregnant. Jen wasn’t anywhere close to being
ready for a baby, but she wouldn’t want any baby but Stef’s. She
wouldn’t have a family. She looked at big, gorgeous Zane, who
worshipped the ground his wife walked on to such an extent that he
was willing to share her with his best friend. Rachel had two
husbands. Jen couldn’t even keep one man interested in her. Nate and
Zane and Max and Rye wouldn’t let their wives out of their sight, but
Stef wanted to send her to France.
She couldn’t help it. The tears started again.
Zane’s wide green eyes were huge as he stared at Jen in abject
horror. “Oh, wow, just let me kill him. Would that make her stop
crying? It’s killing me.”
Jen growled his way. Her friends were right. She just didn’t want
to be around men right now. They all sucked. “I want to cry, asshole.
You, go away.”
Zane scooted out of the booth after kissing his wife on the
forehead. He pointed toward the counter. “I’m going to be right over
there, babe. Out of the line of fire.”
He practically ran away.
Callie shook her head before reaching out to Jen. “He means
well.”
“I know.” Everyone meant well. Stef meant well, at least he
thought he did. Meaning well had broken her heart. She could still see his face as he’d worked over her the night before, still feel his arms around her. God, how was she going to get through the rest of her
fucking life without him?
“Jen, are you sure about this?” Now that Zane was gone, Rachel
had softened, sympathy plain on her face.
“I have to be.” Jen meant what she said. She couldn’t spend the
rest of her life with a man who was waiting for her to leave. “He was
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sending me away. I don’t know if he meant to talk me into leaving or
just flat-out shove me on a plane.”
“I know.” Callie had heard the whole story told to her in between
Jen’s sobs. “But you love him. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.
Maybe if you talk to him.”
“And say what?” Jen asked. “Look, I love him. I think I’m going
to love him for the rest of my life, but I kind of love me, too. If I hang around for years and hope that one day he’ll see that I’m worth the
risk, I don’t know if I’ll be able to respect myself.”
“She’s right.” Rachel rubbed her hands along her lower back as
she spoke. It seemed to Jen that it had been bothering her for hours.
“What’s she supposed to do? Put her life on hold because one man is
a fool? Oh, I hate this.”
Jen put aside her own misery briefly. “What’s wrong?”
Rachel shook her head. “Stupid Braxton-Hicks. I’ve been having
them for the last couple of weeks.”
“That’s false labor,” Callie supplied. “A lot of women get it. It
prepares you for real labor.”
“It prepares you to want to kill yourself.” Rachel tucked a piece of
strawberry blonde hair behind her ear, a grimace of pain flashing
across her face. “She’s so bright-eyed about this. I was that way,
once, before I gained four hundred pounds, started having to pee
every five minutes, and waddled like an overstuffed penguin. And I
have three more weeks of th
is.”
Callie’s face lit up. “And then you’ll have a baby.”
“Yeah,” Rachel replied, her hand going to her stomach.
Stella walked up, coffee urn in hand. She was made up as usual,
but there was something a tiny bit duller about her this morning. Jen
could tell she’d been crying. She’d heard Sebastian’s story. Her heart had broken for Stella with each word he spoke. And she’d heard a bit
of her own future in there, too. Stella always seemed so alive and
happy. What heartache had she harbored? She’d never married. As
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long as Jen had known her, Stella hadn’t even dated. She’d built her
life around this diner and Bliss and raising Stef.
Was this going to be her life? Would she throw herself into her
work because she couldn’t have the man she loved? It would be ironic
if she ended up with the kind of career Stef wanted for her. And
empty, because he wouldn’t be there to share it.
“Do you need some coffee, hon?” Stella asked, her smile not quite
reaching her eyes.
“I’ll take some. I’m the only one not on mommy restrictions.” She
held her cup out.
“God, I miss coffee.” Rachel leaned over and breathed in the
aroma.
“Stella, I thought you were working at the festival today? Aren’t
y’all selling lunch for the snowboarding competition?” Callie asked.
Jen hadn’t thought about that. The whole place was being cleared
out for the noon start of the finals of the competition. Everyone would be on the mountain watching it. Downtown would be very quiet this
afternoon. It would be a good time to check out the town hall. There
was a bulletin board there with job listings and places to rent.
“I just talked to Zane about that. He’s going to help out. I’m
shorthanded. He’s a good man, your Zane. He’s helping out with the
short-order line while Hal makes sandwiches and salads.”
“Ah, learning at the feet of the master,” Callie said with a grin.
“He’s been taking cooking lessons from Hal. Last week it was
something French.”
Zane stepped in beside Stella, a plate in his hand. “Coq au vin,
babe. And it was just a bit salty. I’ll get it right next time. Here’s your bacon, Rachel.”
As Zane slid the plate across the table, Callie’s face went slightly
green. Her hand flew up, covering her mouth.
“Oh, I’m going to be sick.” She slid out of her side of the booth
and started to sprint for the bathrooms. Zane ran after her, not
bothering to stop at the ladies’ room door.
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“Yep, she’s pregnant.” Rachel sighed and bit into her bacon. “The
smell of bacon gets to some women. Not me. This baby boy likes
meat.”
A wistful smile stole across Stella’s face. “Max and Rye were
always like that. Their momma would have to fight to get them to eat
a vegetable. Not Stef, though. He ate everything I put in front of him.”
Jen felt her eyes tear up. At least Stella had Stef to lavish her love on. She looked up at Stella, wondering if there was still anything left besides bitterness. “Sebastian came back for you.”
Stella’s shoulders squared after a moment of pure surprise.
“That’s what he said. But he’s gone through something terrible. Many
people make illogical decisions when they think they’re dying.”
Rachel’s head moved back and forth as though she was watching
a tennis match. “Sebastian came back for Stella?”
“He loves you,” Jen said. “He knows it was a mistake to leave.”
“Oh, my god, Stella had an affair with Stef’s dad? Does Callie
know? Do I know something before Callie?” Rachel asked.
“You hush,” Stella admonished. “This is very old gossip. No one
would care about it. I’m surprised Sebastian even talked about it
around Jen.”
“He didn’t know I was there. He was telling Stef.”
Stella blanched. “He told Stef?”
“Yes,” Jen said. “He told Stef that the worst mistake he ever made
was walking away from you.”
“It was.” Sebastian’s voice carried across the diner. Jen turned,
and he was standing there, hat in his hand. “It was the stupidest thing I ever did because I threw away the love of my life. I thought of you
every day. You were the first thing I thought of in the morning and
the face I pictured in my mind before I went to sleep at night. When I was in chemo, I sat in the chair and I pretended to hold your hand. I
pretended you were there. I told myself that if I lived, I would come
for you. I would come into this diner and sit here until I made you
understand how much I love you.”
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Tears streaked down Stella’s face, but she held her head high.
“You might have pictured my face, but that isn’t the face I have now,
Sebastian. I’m an old woman now. That time is long past.”
“Then I’ll start a new time,” he said, nodding resolutely. “And
you aren’t old, Stella. Never. You’re still the most beautiful woman
I’ve ever seen.”
“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” Stella said, her hand clutching
the urn like a shield.
Sebastian’s eyes studied her, and his lips curled up in a sad little
smile. “Well, I’ll wait until you decide. I’ll wait a day, or a month, or a year. I’ll sit at the counter and hope you smile at me. I’ll make a life in Bliss so I can be part of your world. I’ll wait as long as it takes, and if it takes longer than this life, then you should know, Stella Benoit, that I’ll wait in the afterlife, too. I’ll wait forever.”
She set the urn on the table. It clattered, utterly forgotten and
useless because Stella was walking toward him.
“You better not change your mind, old man,” she said as she
walked into his arms.
“Never,” he said, pulling her close. He buried his face in her hair,
his arms closing around her, knitting them together.
“That was so beautiful,” Rachel said, turning to Jen. Her face was
bright red, and tears poured from her eyes.
Jen felt her own tears as she put an arm around her friend and let
her cry.
It had been beautiful.
“I can’t do it,” Jen whispered, more to herself than anyone else.
Rachel smiled through her tears. “Of course, you can’t.”
Jen looked down, startled. “How do you know what I’m talking
about?”
“I’ve been where you are, Jen. I know what you’re thinking. You
can’t stand by and let him go. You have to fight. This isn’t something you just let slide. He’s your man. You fight for him. If you have even the smallest doubt in your head that this isn’t over, then you go after
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him with everything you have. I never thought you were going to give
up.”
“Even when I ran away?” Jen asked, a light feeling stealing over
her. She could still fight. If Sebastian could come to his senses, then Stef could, too. Jen just didn’t plan on letting nearly thirty years go by. His skull was going to soften up more quickly than his father’s.
“Yes,” Rachel said. “I knew you would come back. Tell me you
hadn’t thou
ght about it.”
She’d dreamed about it every night. If things hadn’t gone horribly
wrong, Jen knew she’d have been home by summer. The day before
she’d been arrested, she’d sat down and written a long e-mail to
Callie. She hadn’t sent it, but she’d saved it. Eventually she would
have sent it, and Callie would have replied, and she would have
allowed herself to be “talked into” coming back. “I would have come
back. I love him. I love him so much.”
“I know. It’ll work out, Jen. You’ll see.” Rachel wiped her eyes
with her napkin. She turned in her seat to face the newly happy
couple. “Hey, Stella, why don’t you call someone in so you can take
the afternoon off?”
Stella’s face was vibrant as she faced Rachel. Sebastian’s arms
were around her, and she threaded her fingers with his as though she
couldn’t stand the thought of losing contact. “I have Holly. She can
handle this little crowd. I’ll head out when she gets back.”
Jen felt her whole body flush. “Holly’s back?”
Stella nodded. “Yeah, she came in this morning. She wasn’t
scheduled, but you know her, she’s always looking to take an extra
shift. She has to pay that greedy ex of hers, or she never gets to see her kid.”
Rachel was already moving. “Where is she? Does she know
Nate’s been looking for her?”
“No,” Stella replied. “But I sent her to the Sheriff’s Office. Maybe
that’s why she’s taking so long.”
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Jen scooted out of the bench, following Rachel. It would be such a
huge relief to get that damn painting back. Then she could concentrate on convincing Stef. “Thanks, Stella. I’ll send her back as soon as I’m done talking to her.”
“I’m coming with you,” Rachel said, grabbing her purse. “Don’t
you leave me behind. You’ll be surprised how fast I can waddle.”
Jen took her hand. “No, I wouldn’t. Come on then. Let’s find that
stupid painting, and then I can find Stef.”
It was a short trip from the diner to the Sheriff’s Office just three
buildings in between and a hop over the street. The Sheriff’s Office
was housed in a small building just off Main Street. Rachel walked