Page 7
“Good,” he says as he makes a Screwdriver. “You?”
“Good, thanks. Hey, listen… I want you to meet my roommate, Savannah Shepherd, and you remember Alyssa Myers, right? She was always around in the summers growing up, but she’s moved here permanently. ”
I know the last thing Brody wants is to be introduced to people, but he politely nods at Savannah, his lips never even cracking from their grim line. Then his eyes slide over to Alyssa and something interesting happens. He sort of stares at her for a moment, his eyes flaring just a bit. I glance over at Alyssa, and she’s giving him a soft smile.
“Hi Brody,” she says warmly. “It’s good to see you again. ”
Brody just stares for what could be considered an awkward moment, and then he mutters, “Same here,” before turning away and walking to the other end of the bar.
I sigh once again, sad that my brother is having such a hard time even carrying on short conversations with people.
“He’ll come around,” Gabby says, and I turn to look at her. She’s watching me with understanding. She knows… knows that it kills me to see him like this, and all I can do is just nod at her.
“Listen, why don’t you girls go grab a table? Someone will be over to get your drink orders shortly. Gabby… the key is in my office, and I need to show you how to work the alarm system. ”
I turn around and walk back toward my office, confident that Gabby will follow. When I reach the door, I open it and motion for her to walk in first. I step in behind her and pull the door closed, not quite understanding why I feel the need for privacy.
Turning around, Gabby studies me with perception and completely catches me off guard when she says, “I know you’re worried about Brody. Casey is too. He just needs some time is all, and a whole lot of love and support. ”
I blink at her in surprise. It’s the nicest thing she’s said to me in well over five years. “Casey’s worried, too?”
“Yeah… she’s having a hard time. Not sure how to talk to him. ”
I’m silent for a moment, not quite sure what to share with her. But then I venture forward. “I just miss the guy he used to be. ”
“Me too,” she says quietly. “But we all change. This may be the Brody we have to accept. ”
“I don’t want to accept it. ”
“No, I don’t suppose you do. You’ve always been stubborn that way. ”
I snort over that comment, walking over to my desk to grab the extra key I had made a few days ago. Turning to her with a grin, I ask, “So… are we like having a normal conversation?”
She flinches in astonishment, and then her gaze narrows at me. “What? No. I don’t even like you. Of course not. ”
“Of course not,” I muse, my grin growing bigger as I hand the key to her. When she takes it from me, I let my finger slide along the back of her hand and I don’t miss her sudden intake of breath. Her eyes snap up to meet mine, and they are glaring at me ferociously.
I decide to put a stop to her anger once and for all. It’s time to man up.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her simply.
Taking a step back, she asks suspiciously. “For what?”
“For the way I treated you that night. ”
“That night?” she mumbles.
“That night,” I tell her with conviction. “That night we kissed. ”
Her gaze drops to the floor, and her hands grasp tightly onto the key I gave her. I wait but when she finally looks back up at me, her face is tight and unyielding. “Nothing to apologize for. I’ve forgotten about it. You should do the same. ”
No, that won’t do at all.
Taking a step toward her, I come in close so she has to tilt her head up to look at me. “You haven’t forgotten it, Gabs. It’s why you’re so angry with me. And I’m telling you I’m sorry because I truly am. If I could go back and change it, I would. ”
My nearness affects her, just as it affects me, so she moves back a step. I viscerally feel the loss of warmth within the distance she’s put between us. She pulls her lower lip in between her teeth and casts her gaze sideways, as if she’s pondering the merit of my last statement.
When she turns back to look at me, she asks, “What would you have changed?”
She’s curious… too curious for her own good, and I can see that this has indeed plagued her for quite a long time.
Sighing, I move back toward my desk and sit down on the edge, tucking my hands in my pockets. “I handled it badly. I mean, you shocked the shit out of me, and then I shocked myself when I kissed you back. I guess the thing I want you to know, is that I was never mad at you, even though I acted like an ass. I was mad at myself, and I took it out on you. ”
Gabby tilts her head to the side in interest. “Mad at yourself? Why?”
“I guess because on one level, I was telling myself that it was wrong… the attraction I was feeling. But then I had no control over myself. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted more from you that night, but I told myself it was wrong. I was pissed because I was denying myself. Denying myself something I very much wanted. ”
I can see that she’s shocked over my admission because her mouth hangs slightly open. “You wanted me?”
“Of course I did. Didn’t you feel it when we kissed?”
I know damn well she felt my hard-on, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the yearning that was inherent in that kiss. She merely nods at me, casting her gaze back down to the floor.
“But I thought I disgusted you. At least… that was the expression on your face. ”
Okay, that kills me… hearing her say that, knowing that she’s been thinking that for the last five years. I can’t help my reaction when I push away from the desk and walk up to her, taking her face in my hands so she looks at me.
“Gabby… trust me when I say, disgust is not something I’ve ever felt toward you, then or now. I’m really sorry if you’ve been thinking that, and I really hope you can forgive me. ”
She just stares at me… pulling me into those hazel eyes. I can see her thinking back over all the misconceptions she’s been laboring under for several years, and trying to reconcile the fact that I’m telling her she was wrong.
I’m not letting her go though, until she tells me she believes me. Until she knows, without a doubt, that disgust has never been on my list of feelings for Gabby Ward.
“Are we okay?” I ask her, practically holding my breath for her answer.
She doesn’t make me wait. Giving me a tentative smile, she says, “Yeah… we’re okay. ”
I’m so grateful that I pull her into a hug, wrapping my arms around her tight and resting my chin on top of her head. She’s stiff at first, but then her arms wrap around my waist and I feel her sigh into my chest.
We hold each other for just a minute, and then she pulls back. “How about showing me that alarm system? I probably need to get back out there. ”
“Sure thing. ”
I take her out to the front area and go over the features on the security panel with her, explaining how it works and giving her the code. We talk for a few more minutes, going over the hours she’ll be working. I had decided to close the bar for the lunch hour until she could get the inside portions done, which would give her several good daylight hours of work. Once she was ready to start on the outside, we would just close the deck area to customers. It would be difficult to work around, but it was something we’d be able to accomplish.
When I’m done, Gabby gives me another smile before she heads off to her friends, promising to see me on Monday when she starts. This time it’s bright and unforced, and I feel it slam into me like I’ve been hit by a truck. And just because I’m a guy, and there is no way that I’m not noticing, I watch her ass as she makes her way over to her table. When she takes a seat, I head behind the bar to help Brody.
Over the next hour, I can’t help myself. I keep glancing over at Gabby… avidly curious about her. I notice det
ails that I never noticed before. Like how she always tucks her hair back behind her right ear, but never her left. Or she how she has a habit of twisting the ring on her right hand while she talks. While ogling her legs, I even notice that she has a tiny tattoo on the outside of her left ankle, although I’m not close enough to see what it is.
A few times, she lifts her head and turns it my way. I think I’m able to avert my eyes every time, and she has no clue I’ve been checking her out. I feel like a f**king thirteen-year-old kid crushing on the popular girl in high school, and that actually amuses me.
Gabby Ward is under my skin. I’ve repaired my friendship with her, but I’m certainly not looking at her as a friend anymore. And it’s clear to me as well… I’m sure as hell not looking at her like a little sister either.
I just don’t know what to do about it.
5
I can’t believe I let Casey talk me into hanging out at the beach today. It’s not that I’m opposed to it. Hello, beach girl here. But this morning when she showed up at my apartment, begging me to go out to Cape Hatteras with her, I so didn’t want to oblige. Not because I abhor a day at the beach with my bestie, but mainly because she told me that Hunter and Brody would be there.
Not that I’m opposed to Brody. I’d like to hang out with him some… help him get back into the swing of things. But the thought of spending the day on the beach with Hunter in close proximity has me wigged out for some reason.
The nature of our relationship changed the other night when he apologized for the way he treated me after our kiss. I accept that he was sincerely sorry, and I’ve moved past the hurt because of it. For that, I’m extremely grateful. But, when he hugged me afterward… there was something within the emotions surrounding us that didn’t take us just back to our pre-kiss friendship. It went somewhere different, and I’m not sure what to make of it.
I mean… it could be nothing. Maybe I’m imagining it, but I don’t think so. When I add it all up… the way he admitted he wanted me, the way he looked at me when I was standing half na**d in front of him in my apartment, the way he pointed out that there was something in that kiss that both of us felt… well, it has a lot of the old feelings I use to harbor for Hunter starting to resurface.
And I so don’t want to go there. I’m not ready to lay myself out on the line like that. I’m not ready, nor am I willing, to get hurt again.
Hunter Markham has the ability not just to hurt me. He’s a man that could destroy me.
And that makes me cranky.
So my plan is simple. At least, the plan I devised when I came home that night. I decided I was going to stay as far away from Hunter as possible. I knew I’d have to deal with him on probably a daily basis while I worked on the remodel, but I could keep that professional. I certainly don’t want to get into any social situations with him. He’s too charming, too vivacious. He’ll suck me in like a pit of quicksand, and I’ll be helpless to claw my way out.
I tried my damnedest to decline Casey’s invitation, but she pulled out the big guns. She looked at me with her big eyes moistened with tears and told me she was nervous about spending the day with Brody. She’s been having a hard time connecting with him, and she felt that with me by her side, she would be more comfortable.
It was a load of horseshit, in my opinion, because Casey has confidence in spades. She’s so damned bubbly that you can’t help but be happy around her. If anyone can wear Brody down and break him out of his shell, it’s her. Regardless, when she flashed those glistening baby blues at me, I hung my head low in defeat and went to change into my bathing suit.
We make it to the cape in good time. She immediately recognizes Hunter’s jeep, pulling in behind it. We unload our bags, cooler, and beach chairs, hauling them out across the dunes. There are several surfers in the water—no telling which ones are Hunter and Brody—so we just find an empty spot and make camp.