by Roni Loren
His hands coasted up her arms to cup her shoulders, his gaze capturing hers and holding it. “You think I care about your asshole ex-husband?”
She looked away. “You don’t understand. Doug can cause lots of trouble when he wants to. I’m glad you didn’t tell him your name. Finding ways to humiliate people who he thinks have wronged him is a favorite pastime of his.”
Kade’s expression darkened for a moment, but as quickly as the shift was there, it was gone. “Baby, I’m about as scared of him as I am of a yapping puppy.”
She pressed her lips together. He didn’t get it. She’d learned early to not cross Doug. The man was like a dog with a bone when he perceived a slight by someone. He’d do everything he could to take that person down a notch.
“Tell me what’s going through that head of yours.”
The gentleness in his voice and the heat of his palms against her face nearly unraveled her. She swallowed back the emotion that wanted to show itself. “I came here to get a fresh start. But every time I feel like I’m catching my stride, my past rears up and bites me. God, those things he was saying on the phone . . . I can’t even imagine what you think.”
Hope you have a big bank account. Doug’s words to Kade rang in her head, and she wanted to fold in on herself. Kade probably had gold diggers fawning after him all the time. Now she’d look like another trying to cash in.
Kade didn’t say anything for a long time. But when she looked up, expecting to find judgment on his face, she found determination there instead. “I chose to get involved. And what I think is that your ex is a piece of shit and a bully.”
“I’m not what he says I am,” she whispered, her throat tightening with the embarrassment of it all—memory and a little guilt. Because part of her knew those gold-digging claims weren’t entirely baseless. Sure, when she’d married Doug, she’d cared for him, maybe even thought she loved him at some point. But when things started to go bad, she hadn’t tried to leave. She’d put up with his jibes and coldness because it was too scary to consider being on her own. She’d ignored the signs of deception—the way he never wanted her in his home office, the late night calls, the password locked computer and cell phone. If she had really looked, the clues that he was hiding something were there.
But the routine of her life, the posh luxury of her days had blinded her. Seeing him for what he was would’ve meant losing the only security she’d ever had, would’ve taken her admitting that she was there for the money, that her life, her friends, and the love she’d thought she’d found were a bedazzled pile of bullshit. So she’d refused to see it. Convinced herself she was content. She’d drowned herself in her shallow lifestyle. If she hadn’t caught him cheating, she’d probably still be wasting away her days shopping and lunching with women who were fucking her husband behind her back.
Thinking of that version of herself made her stomach roll and pitch.
“Baby, I know you’re not what he says you are. I’m the one chasing you down for another date, remember?” He smirked. “If you were a gold digger, you’d be the worst one ever.”
She laughed, quickly swiping at her eyes. “Maybe I’m just an evil genius at playing hard to get.”
“The truth comes out!”
She peered up at him. “So you still want to do this tonight?”
He hooked an arm around her waist and gathered her against him. “I’ve thought of little else since last Friday night. Now I have a nice, warm car waiting for us. Are you going to stop dawdling and get in with me, or am I going to have to throw you over my shoulder, Neanderthal style?”
She lifted a brow and scanned over his perfectly pressed charcoal slacks and pale pink shirt. Every inch of him screamed money and urbanity. “I’m not sure you could pull off Neanderthal.”
“Mmm, that’s where you’re wrong, beautiful,” he said, cupping the back of her neck and running his thumb along the hollow of her throat. “Don’t let the wrapping paper fool you. My thoughts when I’m around you are about as caveman as it gets. In fact, it’s taking everything I have not to strip you down right here and take you against your front door until that wrinkle of worry in your forehead disappears and you can’t even remember that phone call.”
A little gasp passed her lips, and her body went on high alert.
“So are you going to get in the car or do you need me to carry you?”
Her gaze darted to the darkened street and yellow porch lights. “Let’s not give the neighbors anything to talk about.”
He slowly backed her into her door anyway. Her shoulders hit the wood and a shiver radiated outward, tightening her nipples and awakening things much lower. He kissed the curve of her neck, shielding her from the street with his body, and his hands crept down over her backside, gathering her skirt in his fingers.
“Kade,” she whispered, teetering on the edge of letting him do whatever he wanted even though anyone could step outside and see them.
“Shh, Tess. You wanted me to take control tonight. Let me.” He hiked her dress up higher in the back, teasing the bottom edge of her panties with his fingertips. “Take these off. You won’t need them.”
She let out a little squeak when he tugged at the elastic and pulled her panties down over her ass. The skirt slid down to cover her bare skin as he worked her underwear further down. They were stretched over her mid-thighs when a car turned onto the street. Headlights flashed over them and she froze. She tried to reach for her panties, but Kade captured her arms against her sides.
“They’ll see,” she whispered.
Kade lifted his head and brushed his mouth against hers. “They’ll see a guy with his date. They can’t see anything else. I wouldn’t risk embarrassing you. It’s important that you know that.”
Her gaze flicked up to his, questioning.
“I like pushing boundaries, Tessa. It’s how I’m built, and I think it’s what you crave, too. But you have to trust that I have your back. I won’t do anything to embarrass you or risk your safety.”
The gravity with which he made the declaration had her heart hammering against the walls of her chest. He’d said he wanted to have kinky fun with her tonight, but she really had no idea what that entailed. The definition of kinky was so broad and her experience so slight, that she was getting the distinct impression she’d signed on for something more than whip cream and fuzzy handcuffs.
But hell if she could find it in her to stop things here. Despite the warning bells dinging a chorus in her head, she was wild with curiosity. What was this man about? What put that dark glint in his eyes? And what in God’s name was he going to do to her?
“I’m not so good with trust,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady as he ran teasing fingers over the bottom curve of her ass.
“I don’t blame you. All I ask is that you try and let me show you I’m worthy of it.”
His hands roamed, and she closed her eyes, her body already revving for him to take it further. Maybe they didn’t need to go out at all. She had a perfectly comfortable bed right on the other side of the door. “I’ll try.”
“Let your panties fall to the ground, then.”
The command sent a zing of forbidden thrill through her, and she wiggled, working her underwear down her legs as discreetly as possible. When they hit the floorboards and she stepped out of them, Kade bent and swept them up with swift precision. He tucked them in his pocket. “Very good.”
She drew her bottom lip between her teeth as the cool night air swirled up her dress and kissed all the tender damp parts beneath. “Do you want to go inside?”
He took her hand and backed up a step, tugging her with him. “And ruin all the anticipation? Of course not. I’m here to take you out.”
“But—” She glanced down at her fluttering skirt, feeling as if the whole world could tell there was nothing beneath.
; He brought his hand to her mouth and pressed a kiss to it. “Trust.”
She forced the knot in her throat down and nodded. “Okay.”
But as she followed him down the porch stairs and to his car, she knew he was asking for more than she was capable of giving. She didn’t even trust herself. How could she trust him?
ELEVEN
Kade gripped the steering wheel as he guided the car south, leaving the city behind them. He should’ve been enjoying the car ride. He had a beautiful, panty-less woman next to him. But Tessa had no idea how much anger was still bubbling in his veins. He was sick with it. When he’d walked up to her and heard that disgusting excuse for a human, Doug Barrett, talking to Tessa like she was some dog, Kade had wanted to reach through the phone, grab the guy by his thick neck, and strangle him.
Even Barrett’s voice still made everything turn to icy rage inside him. He thought he’d blocked that smarmy voice from his head, but as soon as Kade had put the phone to his ear, he’d been transported back in time. He’d wanted to let everything he’d ever wanted to say to Doug from all those years ago pour out. But this wasn’t about the past. This was about protecting Tessa.
And there was no way he was going to stand by and let Doug tear her down like that. Tessa had protested that it wasn’t really abuse. Bull-fucking-shit. Kade had experienced the wrath of words from his stepfather, that systematic breakdown of every sense of your confidence and self-worth. That could damage more than fists. Knowing that Tessa had shirked it off as “how Doug is” made Kade want to tie her down and flog some sense into her. He recognized the irony of that urge, but it didn’t prevent it from coming to the surface.
“Where are we going?” Tessa asked, breaking him from his stream of thought and reminding him that he shouldn’t be thinking about anyone but her right now.
He glanced over at her, the orange of the streetlights streaking across her face as they merged onto the highway. In the darkness of the car, he could almost see her as she was all those years ago. Young. Lost. Surrounded by people but alone. Like he’d been. Maybe they hadn’t changed as much as he’d thought. “Not too far.”
She turned back toward the window, the suburbs now blurring into the darkness. “I grew up not far from here.”
Me, too. But he couldn’t tell her that yet. “Is that what made you come back to Dallas after the divorce?”
She peeked over at him with a small smile. “Yes and no. I came here because I knew I could count on Sam to give me a place to crash for a while. And honestly, I was a little freaked out at the thought of living alone. I’d never done that. But I didn’t know if I would stay. I don’t have any family here or anything. But once I was back, I felt . . . better. Like I was supposed to be here, so I eventually got my own place. Sounds kind of ridiculous, right?”
“Nah, I think there’s always something comforting about the town where you grew up. Even if the years you spent there weren’t the happiest ones, it’s like a place seeps into your blood. I’ve seen some beautiful cities in the world, but nothing feels quite like home.”
“So you grew up in Dallas, then?”
He pulled onto a barely there side road. If its location hadn’t been seared into his muscle memory, he would’ve never been able to find it in the dark. “No, T-t-tess. I grew up right outside it. Just like you.”
He gritted his teeth at the verbal tic. God, was driving down this road with Tessa like driving back in time? First Doug, now this. Was all his old shit going to rise up and take him under? But the way he stuttered Tess seemed to register with her, and she pulled in a breath. Her focus darted from his face to the tree-choked dirt road. If she was harboring any fears about him being a sociopath or something, now would be when she would freak out. Dark road. Alone with some stranger. But instead she braced her hands on the dashboard and leaned forward, squinting at the clearing in front of them as if to verify she was seeing it for real.
“Kade, how do you know about . . .” Even in the dark he could see her pulse thumping hard at her throat. “Kade.”
She turned to him then, her gaze roving over him—every feature, every nuance. He could almost hear it all snap into place for her, like elastic popping her memory into action. He pulled the car into a spot between the trees and cut the engine, bracing for her reaction.
“Kaden?” she whispered, so many emotions crossing her face he couldn’t pick a dominant one.
And at that simple question, all the confidence he carried around with him day to day fell away. He felt awkward and tense and unsure. “Hey, Tess.”
1996
“Where the heck is this place? I seriously feel like we’re about to star in a teen slasher movie,” Tessa said as branches started to poke at her from the open window. She reached out to roll up the window.
Kaden grinned. “B-b-better hope you’re a v-v-virgin then. That’s the only ones who survive crazed killers in the woods.”
Her jaw fell open and she shoved him in the arm. She could already feel the blush heating her face. “Ohmigod, I cannot believe you just said that.”
He shrugged, but his grin remained in place leaving him looking as unapologetic as possible. “What? I didn’t ask y-y-you if you were a virgin. Just reciting the rules of h-h-horror.”
She harrumphed and crossed her arms over her chest, secretly enjoying that she and Kaden had developed some weird sort of bond over the last few weeks where they could talk about anything. Not being friends in “real life” seemed to open up the honesty gates. “You know, you haven’t stuttered all afternoon. And now you start talking about virginity and you’re all tongue-tied. You’re trying to tease me but making yourself nervous, so joke’s on you.”
He glanced her way as he cut the engine. “And you’re beet red.”
“So.” She pulled her compact out of her purse and hurriedly dusted her nose with powder, trying to cover up her flushed state.
“So, we’re even. And now I know I’ll be safe studying out here. Chainsaw guy will go after you first. You’re prime bait and m-m-much prettier.”
She straightened at that and snapped her compact shut. “You did not just call me the sacrificial slut.”
He laughed as he pushed open his door and climbed out. She scrambled to follow him. But by the time she got out of the car, he was already making his way to a little cabin that sat at the edge of a clearing of trees. She hitched her book bag over her shoulder and hurried to catch up.
“I’ll have you know, Mr. Jump to Conclusions, that I would be safe as a lamb in those movies. Just because you think you know—”
He turned abruptly, surprising her and causing her to stumble into him. He grabbed her arm, keeping her upright, and nailed her to the spot with his gaze. “Good.”
“What?”
“I’m glad you haven’t. That prick doesn’t deserve that from y-y-you. Wait for b-b-better.”
Her lips pressed together, and she shrugged her arm from his hold. “I hate when you do that. You don’t even know him. If you did, you’d know that it was his decision to wait because of his religion. He’s being a gentleman.”
Something hateful flashed through Kaden’s blue eyes, but instead of saying what he was thinking, he turned away to head toward the cabin again.
“Oh, no, don’t hold back now, Kaden.” She stalked after him. “Say what you were about to. I can take it.”
“No. It d-d-doesn’t matter.” He unlocked the big padlock that was securing the cabin and shoved the door open with a loud creak. The rickety wood banged against the wall.
She followed him in, dropping her bag by the door and then kicking it closed behind her. Dread was curling in her like smoke. She probably didn’t need to hear whatever it was that he had to say, but she couldn’t stop herself from demanding to know. “Tell me.”
He whirled around and tossed his school bag onto a worn
brown leather couch. “If you think Doug’s a gentleman, then he’s an even better liar than I thought.”
She crossed her arms, prepared to argue, but Kaden wasn’t finished.
“He’s feeding you a line of b-bullshit because it’s what you want to hear. You don’t see past the preppy, golden boy mask. None of you do. Oh, look he can throw a ball and drives a BMW and is soooo dreamy,” he said, using a mocking girly voice. “I’m in the locker room with these dudes. There’s nothing golden about any of them. You know what they talked about last week—including your gentlemanly boyfriend? How many b-b-blow jobs they scored at Tyler Brogan’s house party. Apparently, Delia Johnson from Harmoor High has the brightest and longest-lasting lipstick. Hard to wash off.”
Everything inside Tessa went cold. She’d missed that party because her foster parents gave her a ridiculous ten o’clock curfew. But Doug had said it had turned out to be lame anyway. “It’s just talk. Doug’s friends—”
Kaden scoffed. “Right. His friends. He’s the knight in shining armor amongst all the assholes he hangs around with. Sure. You g-g-go on believing that.”
“You don’t understand,” she said, hearing the feeble protest in her voice. “We haven’t slept together because Doug’s been the one to keep things that way. I’ve never told him no. If he wanted . . . any of that, he could’ve had it. From me.”
Kaden’s expression darkened, and he crossed the room. He stopped just short of her personal space, pushing his too long hair behind his ears and looking down at her with pleading eyes. “Don’t, Tess. There’s better out there. W-w-wait for that.”
Her throat constricted, an unfamiliar feeling welling in her. Usually when she looked at Kaden, she had a number of urges—to cut his hair shorter, to put him in clothes that didn’t make him look like such an outsider, to make him take a breath so he wouldn’t stumble on his words. But right now, she had a hard time focusing on all the things she wanted to change about him. In fact, in this moment, she kind of didn’t want to change one single thing—particularly the way he was looking at her.