by Vi Keeland
I sighed. “Yep. So, it’s going to happen in about a week.”
Twiddling my thumbs and bouncing my knees up and down, I looked around the restaurant.
Jelani sat in front of me with his arms crossed, and I stopped my fidgeting long enough to realize he’d been quietly observing me.
“Dex…”
“Yeah?”
“Go to her.”
“What?”
“Your mind is not here. Stop wasting time here in this restaurant trying to get skinny old me to eat. Go to her and spend the rest of the night with her. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since getting sick, it’s that each day is precious. If things don’t end up in your favor, at least you’ll have these days. Don’t waste them. Live in ignorant bliss for a little while longer.”
There truly wasn’t anything I wanted more in that moment than to go to Bianca.
“You sure you don’t mind?”
“Of course not. Life is good. We’ve been here long enough, and I have food for the entire week.”
“You’d better eat it.”
Jelani chuckled. “Thanks for looking out for me, Dex. You’re a good man.”
It was a full moon out tonight. After I dropped him back home, I had Sam head straight to Bianca’s. I hadn’t thought to call or text first, so I was disappointed to find that she wasn’t home. Still, I thought better of chasing her down. She might have been with her sister, still dealing with the after effects of dropping that bomb.
Rather than text to ask her whereabouts, I opted to go back to my place and change out of my clothes.
Back home, I’d just gotten my pants off when there was a knock at the door. Bandit started to bark like crazy. The only person who was allowed to bypass the doorman was Bianca. My heartbeat accelerated.
When I opened the door, my breath caught. She looked so incredibly beautiful, dressed casually in jeans and a fitted, leather jacket. Bianca’s hair was damp from the drizzle outside. Her eyeballs moved back and forth as she looked at me, seeming like she’d been searching for something and had finally found it.
Then she practically fell into my arms. I embraced her tightly for the longest time, cherishing the feel of her heart pounding against mine. It was confirmation that her feelings for me remained unchanged.
Whispering into her hair, I said, “I went by your place. You weren’t there.”
“I was with Alex. Brian watched the girls so that we could have dinner out and talk.”
I pulled back to look at her face. “And you came straight here after?”
“Yeah. My sister could tell my mind was on you the entire night. She told me to just go see you.”
“That’s funny. Jelani did the same thing to me, told me to go to you. I guess we’re both pretty transparent, huh?”
Bianca’s eyes trailed down the length of my body. It was then I realized I was still shirtless, dressed only in my underwear. Desire pooled in her eyes as she continued to stare at my half-naked physique. Knowing full well what she was thinking, my abs clenched and my cock stiffened.
My words came out in a hoarse whisper, “It’s okay to want me.” Brushing my hand against her cheek, I added, “Lord knows, I want you so fucking badly.”
“I’m learning that you really can’t fight what comes naturally. And that bothers me, because what if the news isn’t in our favor, and I still can’t shake it? What, then?”
“Then, we move to Europe,” I said without hesitation.
“What?”
I placed my hand on her cheek. “I’m kidding.” Sort of. “Look,” I said. “People can tell us how to think, but they can’t tell us how to feel. Nothing has ever proven that fact to me like this situation has. You want me right now just as much as I want you, and it’s killing me.”
As was usual around Bianca, my body was beginning to betray me. My erection grew harder with every second that her eyes remained fixed on my body. I couldn’t even be certain whether I could have stopped myself if Bianca told me she didn’t care about the repercussions. If she told me to fuck her then and there, I honestly didn’t know how I would have reacted. That was how desperate I felt.
I led her over to the couch. As I lay back, she reached out and hesitantly placed her hand on my abs. Even though she looked reluctant, it was clear that she’d been dying to do it.
“It’s okay. Touch me. We won’t take it any further. Just touch me.”
She ran her hand along every inch of my chest as I closed my eyes and relished her touch. She then lowered her head and lay down on my heaving chest. I was sure she could feel my heart beating right into her eardrum.
“I don’t want to give you up,” she whispered over my skin.
Running my fingers through her beautiful dark hair, I said, “Can I tell you a secret?”
Her voice was barely audible. “Yes.”
“I have to tell this to you now because the way I see it…anything I say now could be construed as okay since we don’t know the truth yet.”
She lifted her head and sat up to look at me. I was glad she did because this was important.
I took the opportunity to return that focused attention as I stared deeply into her eyes. “I won’t ever stop loving you. Even if it turns out we’re blood-related, I will still love you. I may not be able to admit it to you anymore then, and I may not be able to express it to you physically, but I won’t stop loving you. I need you to know that. You will move on eventually. You will meet someone new, but I will still never stop loving you. I might meet someone and marry eventually, but when she’s walking down the aisle, make no mistake, I’m going to be thinking of you and wishing things were different. Because I will never stop loving you. And whether you’re my lover or my sister…you will still be the most amazing woman I have ever met. No matter what, Bianca, you are the love of my life. No one will ever replace you.”
Her face was covered in tears. “I love you so much, Dex.”
The need to feel her mouth on mine was unbearable. “I really need to kiss you right now.”
“Kiss me. Please…kiss me,” she breathed.
And so I did. With the same intensity with which she’d begged for it, I kissed her harder and with more passion than I ever had before. If it was wrong, I didn’t want it to be right. Like Jelani said, ignorance was bliss. My compromise was that I wouldn’t sleep with her, but I was going to damn well kiss her. Maybe it would have seemed more salacious if we hadn’t done it countless times before. But it felt so natural, so familiar. Like breathing. If I was going to hell for continuing to do what felt natural, then so be it.
In fact, I’d turn myself in.
I hated that Bianca had to leave.
The next afternoon, she’d flown out for an assignment down in Virginia. I’d lightly suggested that she reschedule the interview, but Bianca had said she needed to work to make the time pass or she’d go crazy. I could understand that, but I hated that she would be sitting in a hotel room hundreds of miles away for two nights, thinking the worst was going to happen. Not to mention that two nights away from her seemed like an eternity. And while we spoke on the phone every morning and evening, I felt her slipping away from me again. Physical distance made her overthink things. Her voice was sad when I called to check in on her that afternoon.
“How did your interview go? Did you get everything you needed?” I asked.
“I think so.” She sighed. “To be honest, I don’t have any idea. Thankfully, I grabbed my recorder at the last minute before I left—something I never really use—because I’m pretty sure everything he said went in one ear and out the other.”
“It’s to be expected. You’re under a lot of stress.”
“You want to know something funny?”
“I could use funny right about now, yes.” I leaned back into my office chair.
“I woke up in the middle of the night with a mini panic attack. I couldn’t fall back asleep right away, so I got out my Baoding balls while my mind was racing over everything
from the last week.”
“I might have laid in bed last night playing with my own stress balls and thinking of you, too. Let me ask you, have you ever tried inserting them and wiggling around? I think that might go a long way toward stress reduction.”
I heard the smile in her voice. “You’re such a pervert. And I wasn’t done with my story, you know.”
“Go on. I’m curious to see if your ball massage session finished off as well as mine did.”
“Anyway,” she continued, “I massaged my stress balls for a while and still couldn’t go back to sleep, so I decided to turn on the television. Take a guess what was on at three in the morning?”
“What?”
“Cleopatra.”
As insane as the entire situation was, I was glad the two of us could still laugh at our own expense. Although Bianca’s voice was more serious when she spoke next. “My sister went to the lab you set up for us today.”
“Oh yeah? How’d everything go?” I’d arranged for my father to go to the same chain lab facility in Florida the day he got back from his vacation. Bianca and her sister only had to give their case number when they went in for a quick swab. I didn’t want either one of them to have to go through explaining everything at the lab.
“Brian went with her, and my mom took the kids so they could have a night alone.”
“That’s good,” I said.
“It’s the least my mother can do.”
“Did you make an appointment yet?”
“Tomorrow afternoon. Three o’clock.” I heard the dread in her voice.
I’d been tossing around bringing up something that was on my mind for the last two days, but now that her appointment was tomorrow, we didn’t have much time left…
“What time does your flight land tonight?”
“A few minutes after eight, I think.”
“I’ll pick you up at the airport.”
“Are you sure? I can just grab an Uber.”
“I’m sure. I miss you. And I want to talk to you before tomorrow anyway.”
“Oh God. The last few times you had something to talk to me about, you admitted you were Jay, told me my mother was a cheater, and then told me we could be siblings. I’m not sure I want to have any more talks with you.” She was teasing. Well, sort of.
“I have no more bad news. I promise.”
“Then why did you sound so serious?”
“I just think we should talk. In person. Tonight.”
“Dexter Truitt. I’m going to get kicked off the plane for screaming at the top of my lungs and chiming my balls if you don’t tell me what’s on your mind right now. I can’t travel home wondering what you’re going to spring on me next.”
Shit. I should’ve just told her that I’d missed her and left it at that.
“I just want to talk about you getting your DNA test done.”
“What about my test?”
She wasn’t going to stop until I said what was on my mind. I’d be making her head spin whether I told her or not. “I’ve been thinking…what if you didn’t get the test done?”
“Tomorrow? I can go another day if you need me for something.”
“No. I meant…what if we didn’t find out at all?”
Dex was standing in baggage claim waiting when I came down the escalator. We’d locked eyes the minute my foot stepped on at the top, and my stomach did all sorts of flip-flops the entire ride down. God I’m so crazy about this man.
He was dressed casually, in a pair of jeans, dark t-shirt, and running sneakers. Yet there was nothing casual about the way he looked. Dex had an intensity on his face that made my skin tingle. He stayed still, except for his eyes following my every step. When I reached the bottom and walked toward him, I could actually feel my pulse quicken.
“Give a girl a ride?” I flirted.
He grumbled something I think might have been, “You have no fucking idea the ride I want to give you,” then hooked one arm around my waist, pulled me flush against him, and kissed me with a passion that felt almost desperate. Any certainty I had that I should have the test done tomorrow and stay away from him until after we get the results, went flying out of my head faster than the jet I just took home.
“Get the thought out of your head,” Dex said against my lips when our kiss broke.
I was breathless. “What thought?”
He arched an eyebrow. “The one where you question if this is a good idea. If we should be together in this way.”
How did he know? “I wasn’t…”
He shook his head with a knowing smirk and took my overnight bag from my hand. “Do you have any other luggage?”
“No, just this.”
“Then let’s get out of here.”
During the short ride back to my place we made small talk—how was my flight, what was my next assignment, even a nice chat about the market fluctuation that day. Anything and everything but the elephant in the room. But that came to an abrupt end shortly after we settled into my apartment. I’d done a quick unpack while Dex poured wine and then the awkwardness set in.
Dex was sitting on the couch across from me and leaned forward, placing both of his hands on my knees. “I don’t want to risk losing you by having the test done.”
“Dex…I’m not sure I could function not knowing.”
“Eventually we’d move past it. If we made the decision never to find out, I think after some time, we’d be okay.”
“What if…we stayed together?”
“You mean if we wanted to have children someday?”
I nodded my head.
“We could agree to adopt. I’d be fine with that. There are plenty of children who need good homes.” I had looked away, and Dex squeezed my hand to get my attention back. “Look at how good we did adopting Bandit.”
I snorted. “I don’t think deciding not to have children naturally should be based on how things have gone with Bandit.”
He cupped my cheek. “Maybe not. But if the choice is possibly losing you or adopting instead of having a biological child, there is no choice.”
I looked into his eyes. “Wouldn’t you always wonder?”
“I’d get over it.”
“Dex…”
He leaned in and kissed my lips. “Think about it. Just think about it some more.”
“Okay. I will.”
We snuggled on the couch for a while and then I yawned. Traveling always knocked me out to begin with, plus I wasn’t sleeping well at night lately. My back was leaning against Dex’s front, and he brushed some hair off of my face after my yawn. “You’re tired. You should get some sleep.”
“I am tired. That glass of wine was like a sleeping pill on top of my already sleepy head. Plus, my neck hurts from stress and lying flat always helps that, too. I think it’s time for bed.”
“I’ll let you get some rest, then.”
I turned to face him with my brow furrowed. “You’re not staying over?”
“Do you want me to stay over?”
“Of course, I do.”
Dex let out a sigh of relief. “I’m glad. Because it’s been hell without you the last few nights.”
Inside my bedroom, I changed into my usual tank and boy shorts, and Dex stripped to his boxers. While he slipped under the covers, I sat on the edge of my bed and took out some moisturizer from my nightstand to rub into my arms. After rubbing the lotion into one arm, Dex sat up and took it from my hands. “Here, let me.”
The room was quiet, and the intimacy between us blossomed as he massaged the lotion into the skin on my arms. While I had just applied it enough to seep into my skin, Dex was giving me more of a massage. When his strong fingers worked their way up to my shoulder, I closed my eyes and let him rub away some of the stress.
“God, that feels so good.”
“You’re very tense, and your neck hurts. Why don’t I use the lotion and rub your shoulders for a bit.”
“I’d love that.”
Dex sat up with his b
ack against my headboard and positioned me between his legs. He gently nudged my head forward to drop toward my chest and scooped my hair to one side. Then his hands disappeared for a moment, and seconds later a dollop of icy moisturizer hit my skin.
“That’s cold.”
“I could provide some warm cream if you prefer?” Dex’s tone was playful, but at the same time it was also husky, and I heard the need in his voice.
“You’re such a pig.”
He chuckled and he massaged my neck. “As long as I’m being a pig, I might as well admit that I have a recurring fantasy about rubbing a certain warm cream into this beautiful skin.”
His fingers worked on a knot at the apex of my shoulder where it met my neck. Loosening it, my head dropped down a little lower. “Oh yeah? And where exactly would you be rubbing this cream?”
Dex’s fingers slowed. “You really want me to tell you?”
“Of course.”
His fingers came to a complete stop, and his voice was low as he leaned forward to whisper. His warm breath tickled my neck. “Sometimes when I’m in the shower, I envision myself coming all over your tits and rubbing it in.”
When I didn’t immediately respond, Dex must have taken that as a sign that what he’d told me made me uncomfortable. Which it did, but not the kind of uncomfortable he was thinking. The discomfort was from the growing swell that ached between my legs.
“Should I have kept that to myself?” he asked.
I swallowed and whispered, “No. Actually. Tell me more.”
“You want to hear more about how I fantasize about you?”
“I do.”
Dex was quiet for a moment and then his fingers began to rub again. “I think of you lying on your back, your hands squeezing those beautiful tits together while I straddle your chest and slip my cock between them.”
I wiggled between his legs and felt his hard-on up against my ass. “You want to know what I think about when I fantasize about you?”
“I’d empty my bank account and sign over my penthouse to hear you tell me your fantasies right now.”
I chuckled. “Well, it starts with you opening …” My deviant, fictional adventure was put on hold when Dex’s cell phone started to ring.