It was a speech that saw Val’s own words turned against him. Once, he’d told her all of that. He would not have been ashamed to have been associated with the House of d’Avignon and he meant it. But now, Vesper was in a similar position and telling him exactly what he had told her. He had no recourse to deny her, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t terribly worried for her still. Sitting up, he looked at her.
“You have lived a protected and genteel life, Vesper,” he said, trying to force her to understand what she was committing herself to. “What I am about to face… people have been executed for less. I cannot even promise that will not happen to me if Henry is enraged enough.”
Vesper studied his handsome face, so wrought with distress, and she smiled. “Then if you go, you do not go alone,” she whispered. “Let me stand with you. It will be the proudest thing I have ever done.”
Val stared at her a moment, her words pounding into him like a battering ram. It will be the proudest thing I have ever done. Was it really true that she understood the depths of the situation and what it might entail? He didn’t think she did. But he could not refute such sweet devotion. He lifted a hand, cupping her face.
“I do not know what I have done in life to warrant a reward such as you,” he said softly. “Although I know I should deny you, in my heart I cannot. You will be the very source I draw my strength from in the dark days to come.”
Vesper’s smile broadened. “I hope so,” she said. “I will not leave you, not ever.”
Val forced a smile. He felt so guilty for permitting her to be with him during this time but he couldn’t help it. He needed her. He felt better simply knowing she was here, with him, supporting him. Leaning forward, he kissed her sweetly on the cheek before his lips moved to her mouth, slanting over them gently.
The moment he tasted her, however, his kisses grew hungry and he pulled her off of the stool and into his arms, feasting on her with a fervor that was borne from his very soul. Something about the woman fed him as nothing else ever had. Although he’d never been in love before, he suspected that was exactly what he was feeling. This strong, beautiful, and brave woman belonged to him.
He loved her.
“Marry me,” he whispered between heated kisses. “If Henry sends me to the executioner, at least I will know you will be well taken care of as my widow. You will inherit everything, including Selborne.”
Vesper, who had been consumed by his kisses, suddenly pulled away and looked at him, startled. “Nay,” she said. “That is not why I would marry you. I do not care about your money, Val. All I care about his you.”
Val could see that he’d insulted her. “I did not mean to offend you,” he said. “I simply meant that it would give me comfort to have you by my side, as my wife, and to know that if anything happened, you could live out your days in comfort. It would mean a great deal to me.”
Vesper understood his position, sort of, but she was still incensed. “I was never interested in you for your wealth,” she said, brow furrowed. “In fact, if I marry you, I do not want your money. Donate it to the church for all I care. I do not marry you for the security you can give me. I marry you because I love you.”
He eyes widened. “You… you love me?”
Vesper hadn’t really thought about what she was saying before she’d said it because she was trying to prove a point. Realizing she told the man that she loved him, she looked at him rather hesitantly because of his reaction. Was he shocked? Was he pleased? Seeing his astonished expression, something told her he felt the same way she did.
“Of course I do,” she said after a brief pause. “Why else would I have ridden all the way from Eynsford on a borrowed horse to see you? Either I am foolish or I am in love. And I do not believe I am foolish.”
Val stared at her a moment longer before pulling her against him, his big arms around her slender body as he hugged her fiercely. “As I love you,” he whispered. “I know it seems foolish that we should find love after hardly knowing one another, but I cannot help how I feel. Something brought us together, Vesper. I do not believe in coincidences. I believe that I was in Whitehill chasing that fugitive on the very day you were there because we were meant to meet. We were meant to be together, you and I.”
Vesper had her arms wrapped around his neck, her face buried in his hair. “It was a violent day,” she giggled softly. “Do you recall? There was an enormous fight going on with you in the middle of it. I will admit that you impressed me that day. I’d never really seen a fight before and you took to it so easily.”
He grinned, pulling back to look at her but not releasing her from his arms. “I have been doing it for many years,” he said. “A battle draws me like water draws a duck. But trouble does not usually follow me as it has as of late. It seems that you and I have had our share of misfortune in the short time we’ve known one another.”
“That would be a fair statement.”
“In speaking of misfortune, why is your father here?”
The conversation shifted focus and Vesper thought on her father, of the conversation over the past couple of days that she had shared with him. “He came to Eynsford a few days ago and begged for my forgiveness,” she said. “He says that he realizes the error of his ways and that, with my brother gone, I am all that he has left.”
Val wasn’t so willing to believe McCloud after what he’d been through with the man. “How do you feel about his change of heart?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I cannot say that I am willing to trust him just yet, but it seems as if he is sincere. He was with me when the soldiers from Canterbury came bearing news of the archbishop’s murder and he came with me to Selborne because he would not let me travel alone.” She sat up so she could look him in the face. “You have known my father for many years and he was a good friend to you. There is no doubt that you know him far better than I do. Do you believe me means what he says? That he is truly sorry for his behavior?”
Val didn’t want to completely discount McCloud but he wasn’t going to let the man fool him twice. “I do not know,” he said honestly. “The man I knew in France was a different man than the one you see today. The man I knew then was truthful to a fault and would risk his life for his comrades. He was not subversive in any way. But your father has changed a great deal since then, as I have come to see. My mother saw it first but I refused to believe her and now I feel foolish because of it. Is your father sincere? I suppose only time will tell. But I will say this – I will be very careful before trusting him again completely.”
Vesper considered his advice carefully. “As will I,” she said. “I do not want to be associated with the man he has become but I cannot completely walk away from him. Isn’t everyone worthy of forgiveness once?”
Val nodded faintly. “Once, aye,” he said. “But I am under the opinion that men who have tasted darkness never really do change, so if you decide to forgive him, I will support you. But my relationship with him will be different.”
Vesper nodded. “I know. I realize what he has done to make you leery of him and I do not blame you.”
Val put a hand on her head, an affectionate gesture, and ended up toying with her silken dark hair. “Then let us speak of him no more. I would rather speak of us. A man asked you to marry him only a few moments ago and he has not received an answer yet.”
Vesper’s grin was back and she averted her gazes, shyly. “I thought it was assumed that I had agreed. I did not tell you I loved you as a jest, you know.”
He snorted, leaning forward to kiss her on the temple. “I do not wish to assume. Give me your answer so that I may hold it against my heart.”
Vesper gazed at him, into that handsome face that she was coming to love so well. “I will marry you, Valor de Nerra,” she whispered. “The question is whether or not your mother will let me.”
Val laughed softly. His heart was light with her acceptance, delight filling his soul that he’d never experienced before. Now, officially, she belonged to him a
nd nothing would ever separate them save death. He felt as if he could walk on air.
“She will be thrilled that I have finally chosen a bride. But you should know that she will demand grandchildren right away,” he said. “Only this evening did I hear her lamenting her lack of grandchildren to an old friend of mine. She will spout off at anyone who listens that she has no grandchildren and that I am to blame.”
Vesper eyed him with feigned suspicion. “Is that why you have asked me to marry you? To appease your mother?”
He grinned, shaking his head. “I have asked you to marry me because it would be the greatest honor of my life to call you my wife and for no other reason than that.”
It was such a sweet thing to say and Vesper’s heart was leaping for joy within her chest. “I shall endeavor to be worthy of you, my lord.”
He grasped her by both arms, pulling her against him. “Not ‘my lord’. Say my name. Say it and mean it.”
His mouth was hovering above hers, his heated breath on her face. It was enough to melt Vesper completely. “Val,” she whispered. “My darling Val.”
His mouth slanted over hers again, sucking the breath right out of her. Vesper collapsed against him, feeling so small and insignificant against the power of his arms. The more he held her, the more she liked it, and soon her arms went around his neck again, holding him tightly against her as their lips melded. It was a kiss that turned her body to liquid fire, coursing through her, building into something that made her heart race like mad. All she knew was that Val’s lips were stoking a fire in her that she’d never known before, something that begged to be quenched in a way she’d not yet experienced.
But Val knew how to sate it. He was experiencing the same fire.
As the noise of the hall went on down below, Val and Vesper engaged in a heated kiss, hidden by the clutter that had built up in the loft. No one could see them where they were; Val knew that. He also knew that his feelings for Vesper were stronger than he could control.
Facing an unknown future, he was not in command of his emotions as he usually was. He began to think about tomorrow and facing Henry. What if Henry did, indeed, throw him in the vault, or worse? What if he ordered him executed for having a part in Canterbury’s death? There would be nothing left of him, no wife or children or family left behind other than his mother, who would surely curse him for not giving her grandchildren to carry on the de Nerra name. He could easily see his mother going mad because of it, living with terrible regrets.
He didn’t want to live with any regrets, either.
And Vesper… this sweet, beautiful woman he found himself so enamored with. What about her? She could marry him tomorrow before he left for Winchester. Or, she could go with him to Winchester and they could be married at the cathedral. But would he have time to consummate the marriage, to spend a few precious minutes with her to demonstrate how much he adored her? He couldn’t be sure that there would be time at all, at least not like they had at this moment. Right now, the timing was perfect to do precisely that – make her his own, forever.
God, he had such need of her. In her, he saw his salvation.
Laying Vesper back on the dusty floor, he loomed over her, gazing down at her and drinking in her beauty. With her sculpted cheekbones and bright eyes, she was as perfect a woman as God could have ever made. When he saw that she was inspecting him just as he was inspecting her, he smiled faintly.
“I was wondering if our children will look like you,” he murmured, kissing her cheek gently. “Or mayhap they will look like me.”
Vesper reached up, touching his face. “You mean the grandchildren your mother wants so badly?”
“The same.”
She grinned. “They will have to look like you or I doubt she will accept them.”
Val laughed deeply, kissing her on the cheek again. “I would not be surprised if you were correct.”
His kisses grew stronger and, soon, his mouth was capturing hers again, one big arm around her while the other roamed. As he kissed her lips and suckled on her chin, his right hand drifted down her arm and onto her torso, lingering on her belly. But the kisses grew more heated and that same hand moved up her body, gently closing around a breast. Vesper’s eyes opened wide and she looked at him in surprise. Val simply kissed her chin again and squeezed her breast softly.
“Does this disturb you?” he asked softly.
Vesper wasn’t sure how to answer, but it was clear that she was trying to pretend as if she wasn’t bothered by it at all.
“Nay,” she said quickly; perhaps too quickly. “You are to be my husband and it is your right. But…”
He leaned down, nuzzling her neck. “But what?”
“We are not married yet.”
It was the maidenly virtue speaking, the virtue that had been drilled into the head of every young woman. One was not to participate in the pleasures of the flesh until after marriage, but that was a myth in many cases. There were plenty of young women who indulged because Val had been with a few of them. There had been one of the ladies of the Countess of Gloucester, and then a distant de Bohun relation he’d met at a masque in London, and….
“I will summon a priest tonight,” he said, already feeling his manhood growing rigid for want of her. “If it makes you uncomfortable, then I will stop. But know this… I depart for Winchester tomorrow and there is no knowing if I will return. You know this. If I am to spend a last night of freedom, then I would very much like to spend it with you. There is no telling what tomorrow will bring for us both.”
Vesper met his gaze, her hazel against his brilliant green. She bit her lip. “That sounds very much like a manipulative statement I heard once when a certain knight I was trying to fend off sought to play on my sympathies.”
Val’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “And?”
“And what?”
“Did it work?”
She scowled. “Of course it did not work!”
He started laughing again, low in his throat, and Vesper couldn’t very well be angry with him because she could see that he was jesting with her. Even so, there was truth in his words. He was going to face something unspeakably frightening tomorrow and it was very possible she would not see him for a very long time, if ever. That thought scared her to death.
She loved Val, wildly so. With time, it was a love that would deepen and grow roots, becoming something rich and binding. But now, her love for him was new and exciting and full of the dreams that all young women had – a handsome husband, a home, and children. Perhaps those were Val’s dreams, too. If they were, she didn’t want to leave them unfulfilled.
Taking his hand, she put it back on her breast.
“For whatever comes tomorrow, let us live tonight as if there is nothing ahead of us but our future together,” she whispered. “For tonight, pretend that I am your wife and I will pretend you are my husband. And when tomorrow comes, we will be grateful for this time together – either as our last time together or as our very first of many to come. Either way, I am yours.”
The smile faded from Val’s face as he looked at her. She was so rational and wise, and he appreciated that about her. Everything about Vesper d’Avignon was perfect in his eyes.
He couldn’t wait to make her his own, forever.
“Until I die, I will love you and only you.”
“And I, you.”
The hand on her breast fondled her gently as his mouth found hers yet again. Vesper was becoming accustomed to his kisses now and she had quickly learned to crave his warm lips. He had stubble on his face, scratching her tender skin, but she didn’t care. There was nothing about him that she didn’t love.
His kisses became more forceful and the hand on her breast began to unlace the stays of her shift beneath the lower neckline of her surcoat. His mouth moved from her lips to her neck and finally to her chin, along her collarbone and to the swell of her breasts. Vesper had just become accustomed to his hand on her breast when he suddenly peeled the fabric back,
exposing her left breast. Her nipple hardened when the warm air hit it and as Vesper tried not to become embarrassed by the fact he’d just pulled her clothing down from one breast, Val’s mouth descended on a taut nipple.
It was a sensation like none other. Vesper was overwhelmed by his hot mouth on her breast and her back arched in surprise, in pleasure, giving herself over to the newness of the experience. Val’s body was half-covering her, the weight of him pressing upon her, but it was a touch that stoked the fire his kisses had started.
The noise from the hall below was a quiet rumble, reminding them that they were not alone in this tryst. Although men could not see them, any sounds from the loft might surely be heard, so Vesper put a hand over her mouth as Val pinched her nipple between his teeth. It was enough to cause her to cry out but the hand over her mouth prevented any noise from escaping. Still, his hands were moving over her, his mouth on the flesh of her breasts when she could feel one of those roaming hands snaking up her skirt.
As a woman who had never known the touch of a man until this moment, Vesper should have been fearful of the hand on her thigh, moving upwards, but the truth was that she wasn’t afraid. She was curious and eager to learn, and everything Val had done to her until this point had been thrilling and pleasurable. Therefore, she wasn’t afraid. She liked his mouth on her breasts so much that she was quite willing to see what he would do next, something more to give her such pleasure.
What she wasn’t prepared for, however, was the shock of his fingers probing her woman’s center. She barely touched herself down there, only to wash and to tend to necessary woman’s needs, so to have a man touch her there – even a man who would be her husband. She was growing embarrassed and Val must have sensed that. His hand came to a halt and he stopped nursing at her breasts, lifting his head to look at her.