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by Linda Bridey
Geoff ran a hand over his face. He started laughing. “She really was smarter than us when it came to her life. I don’t think anyone ever said that about her much in our circles. I’m envious of all of you because I think you know the real Tessa and I do not.”
Seth said, “Then it’s time you get to know her. She’s one heck of a lady.”
When Seth rose from his seat, Geoff stayed where he was. He wanted to be alone to ponder the things they’d discussed.
*****
Poker that night was a loud, humorous event that made Geoff realize how much he sometimes missed his younger days when such games were a regular event in his life. He found it amusing that the ranchers played for toothpicks instead of money. It was a smart alternative to losing cash and it didn’t dampen the level of competitiveness at all. It actually made them a little reckless, which added to the hilarity.
Tessa was as good of a poker player as the men and thoroughly enjoyed herself. Marcus was the worst player because he had no poker face and they could always tell how good of a hand he had. He wasn’t even aware of his facial expressions half the time, which made it easy to know if he was bluffing or not.
Even though she and Dean were on the outs, Tessa was not going to miss out on spending a fun evening with her father and brothers-in-law. Seth and Marcus told raunchy stories, which made Geoff’s protective streak about Tessa come out after a little while.
“Papa, I have heard much worse in Pittsburgh. I’m not offended in the least,” she said.
Geoff’s stare was stern. “Just what kinds of things were you doing when you snuck out of parties and balls?”
Tessa said, “A lady never reveals her secrets, Papa. You should know that.”
“Aw, c’mon, Tessa,” Seth said. “Tell us.”
Dean said, “Yeah, Tessa. Tell us.”
Tessa’s gaze turned cool as she looked at Dean. “Perhaps another time.”
Seth scowled. “Well, I’m not gonna let you get out of it. I’ll keep askin’.”
Tessa chuckled. “I know you will. I’ll tell you about my wild days if you tell me about your evening out last week.”
Seth grinned. “Who said it was an evening out?”
Dean smacked the back of Seth’s head. “Knock that off!”
Marcus laughed. “Loosen up, Dean. Tessa’s a grown woman.”
“It’s not polite to talk about that kind of thing in front of women,” Dean said.
Geoff said, “Perhaps we should get back to the game?”
“Yeah. Good idea, Geoff,” Dean said.
“Papa, Dean, let me remind you that I do not need protecting. After all, I got to Montana just fine all by my weak little self,” Tessa said as her voice turned icy. “So, if I want to hear some amusing, off-color jokes or stories, I will. I suddenly find myself tired. Marcus, Seth, thank you for a lovely evening.” She rose and left Seth’s bunkhouse without another word.
“Do you mind tellin’ me what the hell that was all about?” Dean asked as he undressed for bed.
“What are you talking about?” Tessa brushed her hair out while they talked.
Dean looked at the wavy, silky tresses and wanted to run his hands through them. That he couldn’t made his temper rise even more. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Tessa. Don’t play dumb with me.”
“I only spoke the truth. I don’t need protecting,” Tessa said.
“Yeah and then you left and ruined the rest of the night,” Dean said.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Tessa said, feeling spiteful.
“No, you’re not. You wanted to punish your father and I. You especially wanna punish me, Tessa. I’m not the only one in the wrong here, Tessa, but you’re too damn high and mighty to admit it,” Dean said.
Tessa stiffened. “High and mighty? I think not.”
“Well, I think so,” Dean said, coming to stand in front of her.
Tessa forced herself to look into his eyes instead of at his body. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
His face tightened as his anger neared the boiling point. “No, you’re not. Do you enjoy this? Because I sure as hell don’t. Maybe what I did was wrong—”
Tessa’s eyebrows rose. “Maybe?”
Dean wanted to throw something breakable to release the pent up anger that burned in his chest. “Is that what you want? For me to admit that I was wrong? Fine! I was wrong, Tessa. I was wrong to care enough about what you thought of me to have Marcus help me out so I didn’t sound dumb! There, I said it.”
“But do you believe it?” Tessa asked. “Or are you just saying it because it’s what you think I want to hear?”
Dean flung his arms wide. “I don’t know what you want to hear, Tessa.”
Then he put his face in his hands for a moment and tried to get himself under control. Lowering his hands, Dean went over to where his clothes hung and started putting his pants on.
“What are you doing?” Tessa asked.
“I’m going to sleep in the barn,” Dean said.
Tessa asked, “Why?”
Dean pulled his shirt on and buttoned it as he said, “Because I can’t stay here arguing with you and then sleep on the floor while you’re so close to me. I can’t promise to keep my hands off you and you don’t want anything to do with me at the moment. If I’m out there, I won’t be tempted.”
He left the room and Tessa almost went after him. Pride intervened and made her stay where she was.
Chapter Seventeen
Tessa sat at Lydia’s kitchen table, sipping on some coffee. She’d brought the children over to play with their kids and to get away from the ranch for a while. The situation between her and Dean was getting worse, not better, and Tessa knew that something had to give at some point. She just didn’t know if they could get past the problem.
Lydia looked at Tessa with concern. “You don’t look like you slept at all last night.”
“I didn’t. I don’t know what to do. We’re both so angry with each other,” Tessa said. “It might sound silly to other people, but we’re both angry about letters that were either sent or not sent.”
Lydia took a sip of coffee and said, “You’re going to have to explain that to me, Tessa.”
Tessa looked into her kind, brown eyes. “I’m upset because he just doesn’t understand why I’m upset. He also thinks that I don’t have a reason to be. He’s angry because I didn’t write home to tell my family about marrying him.”
“Let me guess, both of you feel you’re justified in your anger and you want the other one to admit you’re right,” Lydia said with a chuckle.
Tessa said, “Yes. He admitted he was wrong last night, but it didn’t seem like a true admission. It was as if he just wanted to end the fighting.”
“Would that have been a bad thing?” Lydia said.
“If it wasn’t real, yes.” Tessa said.
Lydia said, “Is your anger and pride getting you anywhere?”
Tessa put her head down on her forearm. “No, but I can’t seem to help myself. I keep asking myself why I can’t let it go, but I’m not coming up with any answers.”
“I can help you out with that,” Lydia said.
Tessa raised her head and said, “You can?”
“Yeah. When you’ve been married as long as Charlie and I have, you learn a few things about how men and women deal with each other,” Lydia said.
“Yes, that makes sense,” Tessa said.
“You said you ran away from home because no one was listening to you and you couldn’t live your life like you wanted to. You feel like Dean isn’t listening to you. He hears you, but he’s not really listening,” Lydia said.
“Yes! That’s exactly it,” Tessa said. She felt relief that someone understood what she was feeling.
“Well, here’s your problem, Tessa. Men don’t listen like women do. Well, unless they’re Marcus. He pays attention. Always has. Anyway, there are certain times when men listen better than others and one of them is not when
they’re angry. I love Dean like a brother, but the man has a temper and when he’s mad, it’s hard to reason with him sometimes. So that is not the time to try to talk to him,” Lydia said.
“Yes. I have found that to be true,” Tessa agreed. “So when then?”
“Well, this is a little personal but I’m guessing that there’s not been a lot of physical contact going on,” Lydia said.
Tessa’s cheeks turned pink and she dropped her eyes. “No. There hasn’t.”
Lydia smiled. “That’s another thing that’ll change the longer you’re married. This subject isn’t nearly as embarrassing to talk about. I think it would be a good idea to do…that. Afterwards is the best time to talk to him. He’ll be in a better mood and more open to really hearing what you’re saying.”
Tessa put her hands over her face and said, “I can’t do that.”
Lydia laughed. “You’re as shy as he is. I’ve never seen a man like him who’s shy about this stuff.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” Tessa said.
Lydia made sure none of the kids were close to the open window in the kitchen and said softly, “Do you want him?”
“Oh, yes. Very much.”
“Then take what you want. I doubt you’ll get any complaints from him, Tessa,” Lydia said and winked at her.
Tessa laughed and Lydia changed the subject.
*****
By mid-afternoon, Seth and Marcus had had enough of Dean’s rotten temper. Geoff had heard the three of them arguing and decided to steer clear of the situation. He sat on the front porch swing, reading a book Marcus had lent him and watching with high amusement as Dean bossed the other two around.
At one point, Geoff saw Marcus and Seth run over to his bunkhouse and go inside. Not long after, Dean walked from the barn, calling for his brothers. He went over to Seth’s bunkhouse and opened the door. Geoff thought that the brothers were caught, but Dean closed the door and walked away again. He had a hard time holding his laughter in. Geoff was surprised that Dean hadn’t looked a little more thoroughly.
Then he saw Marcus open the door and look over toward the barn. Apparently finding the coast clear, Marcus motioned to Seth to follow him. They each carried a fishing pole and Seth carried a bucket. Quickly, the two of them ran from the bunkhouse and disappeared into the woods. Geoff couldn’t prevent the laugh that rose in his throat.
*****
As she cooked supper, Tessa thought about what Lydia had said to her that day. She wasn’t sure she could go through with it. Tessa felt that she wasn’t experienced enough to pull something like that off. She was mixing up a batch of biscuits when Marcus came stomping into the kitchen and marched right over to her.
She’d never seen such a furious expression on his face as she did just then. Normally, Marcus was smiling and pleasant. He wasn’t either of those things at that moment. He put his hands on his hips as Tessa stared at him with wide eyes.
“You need to make up and make love with your husband or else you’re gonna be a widow because I’m gonna kill him,” Marcus said. “I’ve had about all of him I can take. I’m goin’ home so don’t wait supper on me.”
Tessa watched him stride angrily out the door. That was the second person that day who’d told her to be intimate with her husband to end their fighting. As she finished the biscuits and put them in the oven, Tessa thought that maybe there was something to it after all.
*****
After supper, Tessa sent Jack and Sadie upstairs to get ready for bed. Geoff was once more outside on the swing. He seemed to be developing an affinity for it.
“Dean, please sleep in our room tonight,” Tessa said nervously.
Dean looked at her. “You mean on the floor?”
She gave him a meaningful stare. “No. Not on the floor.”
Dean stared at her back as she turned around to wash dishes.
*****
As she did every night, Tessa brushed her long hair out. Dean undressed and sat down on the bed a little hesitantly. He was afraid she was going to change her mind and want him to sleep on the floor again. Like hell I will. I’m here now and I’m not leaving this bed. His mind made up, Dean pulled his side of the summer weight bedclothes down and lay down.
He wanted in the worst way to reach out to touch Tessa’s hair, but didn’t want to be rebuffed. With great effort, Dean kept his hands to himself. Tessa stood up and went over to their door and locked it. She gave him a lightning fast glance and blew out the lamp. Dean’s eyes never left her as she went to stand by her side of the bed.
Tessa was nervous as she removed her nightgown and slid under the covers completely naked. What is he thinking? Does he want to? Oh, Lord, what if he doesn’t? She felt the bed shift suddenly and she was in Dean’s arms so quickly that she couldn’t register what had happened at first. Then his mouth descended on hers and there was no question that he wanted her. Tessa willingly surrendered to her husband and passion took over their mind and bodies and for the moment, anger and pride were left behind.
*****
As she lay against Dean’s side, Tessa toyed with his hand where it rested on his stomach.
“Dean?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you asleep?”
“Umm hmm,” was followed by his soft laughter. “No, Tessa. I’m awake.”
“All right. Good. Can we please talk now that we’re, um…”
“Resting?”
Tessa hated how shy she felt about all of this. “Yes. Resting.”
“Sure. What’s on your mind?” Dean said as her hand moved over his chest.
“Well, I’m sorry that we’ve been fighting,” she said.
“Me, too, honey. I hate fighting with you,” Dean said.
Tessa had lost control of her hand and couldn’t stop touching Dean. It was interfering with her train of thought. “I don’t want to fight with you, either. We shouldn’t fight like this.”
“No, we shouldn’t,” Dean said as he rolled over to look at her. He brushed her back hair from her cheek and she shivered slightly as his fingers touched her shoulder.
Now it was Dean who couldn’t control his hands. “It doesn’t get us anywhere.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Tessa said and moved closer to him.
“Then let’s not fight,” Dean said as he put an arm around her and then kissed her.
Tessa gave up on rational thought and kissed him back fervently.
*****
The next morning, Tessa woke to an empty bed. She groaned as she remembered how miserably her plan had failed. Yes, they’d made love several times, but they hadn’t resolved their differences. She looked at the clock on the dresser and was shocked to see how late it was. She hurried to get dressed so that she could make breakfast.
She needn’t have worried. Marcus presided over the stove with ease as he flipped eggs and made bacon.
“Good morning,” she said as she watched him.
“’Morning, Tessa. Slept in a little,” he said with a knowing grin.
She blushed and said, “I guess so.”
Suddenly, Marcus hugged her and said, “God bless you.”
Then he released her and went back to cooking. “How do you want your eggs?”
“Uh, scrambled. I didn’t know you could cook,” Tessa said.
“Yep. Ma taught me when I was younger. I’m glad she did. I cook at home whenever I’m not up here,” he responded.
She sat down at the table as Marcus went to the stairs and shouted, “Hey, kids, shake a leg! Breakfast is ready. You, too, Geoff! I ain’t got all day!”
Soon, running footsteps sounded and Sadie and Jack appeared. Jack sat down and Marcus put a plate in front of him. The boy began eating with his usual zeal and Tessa and Marcus shared a smile over it. Sadie ate more sedately. Marcus gave Tessa her plate. Geoff still hadn’t appeared.
“Where is Papa?” Tessa asked.
“Well, I forgot. He played cards with us in Seth’s place last night. End
ed up killing a fifth of whiskey. He’s probably sleeping it off,” Marcus said with a naughty grin.
Tessa laughed as she thought about her father being hung over. “I wonder when the last time he did that was. I think you’re all a bad influence on him.”
Marcus said, “Nah.” He stepped outside and yelled, “Hey! Breakfast!”
Seth came from the barn. He didn’t run, but his long, easy strides ate up the ground quickly. Dean wasn’t far behind him.
He smiled when he saw his wife and kissed her cheek. Marcus winked at her while Dean talked to the kids. Tessa colored and turned her attention to her food.
*****
Later that morning, Tessa could put off their talk no longer. She found Dean in the barn and asked him to come to the tack room with her.
He shut the door and came toward her, smiling. “What is it?”
“I need to talk to you,” she said.
“Like last night?” he asked as he put his arms around her.
“No. Yes. I mean, I wanted to talk to you last night, but it never happened because, well, you know,” she said.
“Oh, yes. I know, all right. Are we gonna talk more like that?” Dean asked.
“No. Not right now,” Tessa said.
“Ok. So what do you want to talk about?” he asked as he loosened his hold on her a little.
Tessa took a breath and then plunged ahead. “Last night was wonderful. Well, more than wonderful.”
“C’mon, Miss Writer, you can do better than that,” Dean coaxed.
“Spectacular. Incredible. Magnificent,” Tessa said, getting carried away.
Dean kissed the side of her neck and Tessa giggled.
“Keep goin’.”
“Fantastic. Passionate. Earth shattering,” Tessa said.
“Earth shattering? Love it,” Dean said as he backed her over against the wall by the door.
“Dean, no, not here. Here?” she said as he locked the door.
“Yep.”
*****
Tessa fumed as she walked back over to the house. She’d never done anything like that in her life and she’d loved every second of it. But her desire for her husband was keeping her from talking about the issues that still lie between them. She encountered Marcus on the way there.