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“I like the cool air. It helps clear my head when I feel like I’m going a little crazy.”
He came to her slowly, his gaze fixed on hers. She didn’t look away, needing to see him. Needing to trust herself and her decisions.
“I hurt you in there, didn’t I?” Mitya asked.
That startled her. Had Sevastyan talked to him? She doubted it. Sevastyan was too busy prowling around, scaring off anyone stupid enough to try to attack Mitya. She didn’t answer him. What was she going to say, when he already knew the answer?
“I’m sorry, Ania. I don’t know Joshua. He isn’t a part of our family. I don’t know who I can trust and who is risky for you to be around. I’d hoped the meeting would be finished and he’d be gone before you got up. You needed sleep.”
Her stomach knotted, and she pressed her hand there. “I suppose had I stayed asleep I wouldn’t have even known they were here.”
“I would have told you. I asked my cousins who they thought we could trust. What you’re not aware of, Ania, is, yes, we have taken over a crime lord’s territories. Since we’ve formed our coalition, we’ve reduced hard drugs in our territories by a third. Guns by a little more, but human trafficking is cut by almost fifty percent. It isn’t easy, and we’re constantly having to do a balancing act. We have the cops breathing down our throats. I have my father coming here to kill me. He would torture and kill you in front of me if he could get his hands on you. If the other bosses find out we’re undercutting them in hopes of taking them down or at least keeping them from getting too far out of hand, they would hunt us to the ends of the earth. Now we’ve got a new enemy and we don’t know why.”
He just said it all. Quietly. His voice so low she barely heard him. She couldn’t believe she was hearing him. She stared at him, blinking, trying to focus. Had he just given her everything? Handed it to her without a fight? An argument? Anything? He’d just stood quietly, asking if he’d hurt her and then given her everything. Shared. Like she was really a part of him and not something he kept in his bedroom.
Ania stared up at him, shocked beyond measure, still not certain of what he’d just told her. She tried to process it all very fast. Twice she started to ask questions and stopped herself, wanting to make certain she understood what he’d just said. He was head of a crime family. Had a territory, but the goal, with a group of others like him, was to reduce the amount of criminal activity. Did that even make sense?
“I didn’t want to tell you because . . . well, that’s obvious. The danger to us will be even more than it would be if I was simply doing business like every other criminal. I don’t like putting your life on the line, but living with me, you’re always going to be in danger. Polite society is going to shun you, or whisper behind your back. It isn’t as if I’m offering you the greatest life. On top of that, Dymka is dangerous, moody and rough. That makes me the same way. So, again, I know I’m not standing here offering you a fairy tale.”
Ania put down her grandfather’s journal. She smoothed the pages before she closed the book, her mind racing the entire time. He was really doing it—handing her the gift of a lifetime—a partnership with him.
“That being said, I’m not man enough to let you just walk away from me.” His hands lifted to his wild mane of hair and he shoved his fingers through it, making it even wilder. He looked like his leopard, feral and dangerous, a force to be reckoned with. “I’m not certain how we’re going to resolve this, but we have to find a way to do it, Ania.”
She stood up and took the two steps to stand in front of him. “I needed you to share the truth with me, Mitya. I’m not a woman to stand on the sidelines. I was raised in a household where we participate, we aren’t kept in the dark. My family had me learning self-defense at a very early age as well as learning to handle a variety of weapons. Clearly, I have superior skills when it comes to driving. I can be of use to you—”
His palm curled around the nape of her neck. “First, kotyonok, before you say another word, you need to know you are of use to me, you always will be. You’re my partner. My choice. Always. Second, I’m not giving up sex in the car. Not now. Not ever. When we have children, it’s probably the only place I’ll be able to have sex with you uninterrupted. You can drive part of the time, but not all the time. I know you’re worth your weight in gold as a driver, but you can’t seriously expect me to give up back-seat sex.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “Miron, and I’m so glad he’s going to be okay, does not have skills, honey, and you need a driver with skills.”
“You did fine. Any driver who gets shot can be yanked out of your way and you can show off, but most of the time, you’re in the back seat with me.”
She didn’t roll her eyes, but she felt like it, not that she wanted to miss the sex in the back seat either.
“You saved our lives,” Mitya said. “None of us would have survived had you not taken control of the car, Ania. Sevastyan gives you the highest praise possible. All I care about is knowing you’re safe. I’ve put you in a terrible position . . .”
“I believe a good part of this mess is because of my grandfather and what he did. I’m the one who put you in danger. And I think I know where the missing package is. I might be reading more into it than there is, but I think he left me a clue.”
Mitya tipped her face up. “I have to know that we’re good, Ania. Before anything else. I’m not going to change who I am. I will always insist that you are protected. There will be times I order you into the safe room. I will expect you to go. I will always expect that you do as I say in front of my men. That you have my back. I will give you every consideration, and treat you as a partner, but when it comes down to danger, I can’t move until I know you’re safe.” He tipped her face up to his. “Can you live with that?”
His eyes searched hers, looking for an answer. Almost desperate for one. Ania smiled at him. “Absolutely I can.”
“Tell me what you’d like to do besides wait for me without a stitch on and give me every fuckin’ thing I want or need. One thing I can do for you, give you. Something that matters to you.”
“You said I could drive. That matters.” Because it did. So much.
“Kotyonok.”
The way he said it, that voice. One word. She still hesitated because this really mattered to her, and if he shot her down, she would be devastated.
“Baby. Just fuckin’ tell me.”
“You know that huge garage you have? The one for collecting cars? It’s temperature controlled and there’s nothing in it.”
He shrugged, watching her face. Never blinking. Never taking his eyes off her. She forced herself to continue.
“I want to use it to design and build custom cars from the ground up. I know I can do it. I can use the money from the sale of my family business to start my own. If I never sell a single car, it won’t matter. I just need to do it. I know I’ll be good at it.”
She was trembling. Inside. Outside. She could barely force herself to look at him.
He went still and then a slow smile softened his hard features briefly before he kissed her, taking her to that place she was becoming familiar with and craved.
He lifted his head. “I think that’s the best idea I’ve ever heard. You tell me what you need, and I’ll help you any way I can.”
Ania put her arms around his neck and lifted her mouth to his.
18
THE house was cold. It shouldn’t be. Ania had kept the heat low, but she couldn’t stop shivering as she stepped inside. Mitya circled her waist with his arm, locking her to him. His body always felt warm to the point of being hot, and immediately his warmth seeped into her.
“It’s too cold in here. I thought I’d left the heat on.”
“Baby, it isn’t that cold. You have a problem coming back to this house. I don’t blame you at all, but maybe you should wait in the car. I can look through the drawer
s and see if you’re right.”
He kept her tightly against him, even when she reacted, nearly jerking out of his arms to glare at him, because how in the world would she ever have a problem being in her family home?
“That’s not true,” she denied, pushing at his arm.
Mitya didn’t seem to notice she was struggling to get free. “Kotyonok, you do. You become extremely emotional and now it’s affecting you physically.”
Ania took a deep breath and let it out. Her stomach was tied up in knots and she was nauseous. She didn’t want to admit that he could be right, but she was afraid he spoke the truth. She glanced at Sevastyan. He had that same speculative look in his eyes she’d caught a couple of times. He even, if it was possible, looked compassionate.
“I’m all right,” she assured. She didn’t know who she was talking to, the two men or herself. She pressed a hand to her stomach and was grateful for Mitya walking in sync with her. She hadn’t realized she was trembling until that moment. She was a mess just being in the house.
Mitya seemed to understand her mixed feelings, the confusion ruling her mind. She loved her family home, and yet now, she could barely stand being inside it. She could barely breathe and recognized the beginnings of a panic attack.
“Ania, did you always live here with your grandparents?” Mitya asked suddenly.
She saw Sevastyan flick him a quick glance and something passed between the two men, but she had no idea what it was. She forced her mind to concentrate on the question. “Yes, they built the house with my parents and had their wing attached.”
He ran his hand along the polished banister. “I suppose that grandfather of yours would sit you on the banister and hold you while you slid down it as a little girl.”
She suddenly recalled the memory. Mitya was right. Her grandfather had done so, starting from when she was in diapers, and her mother would object, half laughing and half serious, a little scared that her adventurous baby girl would try it on her own. He’d continued to sit her on the banister until she was five and then he’d let her slide on her own with him running next to her. She told them the remembrance.
Sevastyan flashed her one of his rare smiles. “I’ll bet you loved that.”
She nodded, the memory adding to her warmth. “I did. As I got older, Mom always pretended not to see us, but we made way too much noise for her not to know.”
They had reached the top of the stairs. The long landing overlooked the first story. Mitya kept his arm around her as they walked to her bedroom.
“I love hearing the stories of your childhood, kotyonok. If we’re going to learn how to provide our children with such a thing, it will have to come from you and your experiences. Your grandparents and parents knew how to love.” He brushed a kiss on top of her head. “I’m thankful you do too.”
Sevastyan slid in front of them smoothly, so smoothly that Ania hadn’t realized Mitya had slowed their steps in order to allow his cousin the time to get around them so that he was the one in front of the door. Her heart clenched. Sevastyan was so willing to risk his life for Mitya—and now for her. She didn’t want that for him. She didn’t want him to feel as if his life wasn’t worth as much as theirs.
He opened the door cautiously, although his leopard had to have told him the room was empty. Still, when he stepped inside, he did so alone, sweeping the room and the impressive bank of windows Ania had always loved. She wasn’t certain how she felt about them now. Anyone could be lying up in the hills with a sniper rifle and easily see into the bedroom if the lights were on. Clearly, Sevastyan thought the same thing.
“You didn’t put blackout screens on the windows?” he inquired.
“The remote’s in the nightstand drawer,” Ania offered. “I rarely used the screens, so I almost forgot they were there.”
Sevastyan held up his hand to stop them from entering the room, stalked across it, found the remote and lowered the screens before beckoning them inside. Mitya went first, his hand in hers, tucking her close to him.
“Beautiful home, Ania,” Sevastyan said. “You can actually feel the joy here.”
It was the first time Ania had ever heard him with expression in his voice, other than command or reprimand. She glanced at him curiously. He was a difficult man to understand. All of the Amurovs were.
“I loved living here,” she admitted. “We laughed all the time. That’s what made it so difficult after I lost Mom and my grandparents. Then my father was shot, and he became bedridden. He could barely speak most of the time. Until we just now started talking about it, I think I’d pushed all the good memories aside and focused on losing them. Thank you both for giving those memories back to me.”
Mitya hugged her. “I think Sevastyan’s right, Ania. I think this house has so many good memories filling it, that when you go into each room, you can feel the happiness. I want that for our children, to fill our house with so much laughter that when anyone comes in, they can feel it.” He stood in the middle of the darkened room. “Sevastyan’s right. We need to keep the two properties together.”
Sevastyan snapped on the small lamp beside her bed. “It doubles the size of the area the leopards can run. It isn’t only our leopards that need to run. Our men have to allow theirs out as well.”
Ania hadn’t thought of that, and it made her feel a little selfish, especially when the men were there to guard Mitya and her. “I don’t necessarily want to sell it,” she admitted. “I’m just not ready to live here, especially alone.”
Mitya glanced at her sharply. “I think we’ve established that you’re living with me.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a goof, Mitya. I wasn’t implying I thought I’d be living alone now. Sheesh.” She tried to let go of his hand, but it was impossible.
Sevastyan smirked at his cousin. “I think that’s a very good word to describe him, Ania. Goof. I’ll let the others know.”
Mitya pulled her tight against his chest, forcing her to tilt her head up to look at him. “Woman, you never talk to me like that in front of my men.” He glared down at her, clearly trying to intimidate her.
“Sevastyan is family,” she pointed out. “It isn’t the same.”
Sevastyan turned away, but not before she caught the pleased expression on his face. It occurred to her that he wanted to be acknowledged as family. By her? By Mitya? Their relationship seemed complicated. Sometimes they acted more like brothers than cousins. It seemed an impossibility to figure them out.
Mitya’s large hand cupped the back of her head and then he was kissing her, and everything fell away but the feel of his mouth taking hers, the electricity arcing between them, the fire running like a river in her veins. Once kissing him, it was impossible to ever stop. She was completely addicted to him.
When he kissed her like this, almost tenderly, his hands gentle on her, it made her heart turn over and set butterflies fluttering in her stomach. The build was slow, a smoldering heat that burst into low flames, spread and then raged out of control. She loved the hot, out-of-control wildfires they shared, but this—the slow burn—got to her heart immediately. Sometimes love for him overwhelmed her.
She slid her hands up his chest and then circled his neck with her arms, melting into him. She hated the feeling of the material separating them. Skin to skin was better. She could feel the hard length of his cock pressing against her, telling her she wasn’t alone in her desire. That always was a wonder to her—that Mitya reacted so strongly to her.
When he lifted his head, his mouth roamed over her face. “I love kissing you,” he admitted. “And it’s a good thing. Your mouth is going to get you out of a lot of trouble.”
She laughed. She couldn’t help it. “Yours is going to get you into a lot of trouble.”
His eyebrow went up. “Seriously? Is that some kind of a challenge?”
“Only you would take it that way,” she sai
d, rolling her eyes.
Mitya kept his gaze fixed on hers and he looked positively wicked. Her stomach did a slow roll and she would have backed up a couple of steps, but he kept his arms around her.
“Sevastyan. Can you give us a few minutes?”
“No problem,” Sevastyan said, ignoring Ania’s quick shake of her head.
Even before the door closed, Mitya had picked her up and tossed her onto the bed. He followed her down, reaching for her shoes, pulling them off and then stripping her of her jeans. Ania couldn’t help the laughter bubbling up.
“You’re so crazy. I think you’d have sex in the middle of a mall.”
He yanked her legs apart, licked up her thigh, and then his tongue was sliding over her lips and his teeth bit down, tugging, first one side and then the other. Her laughter turned into a gasp. Already her body was slick with need. He could do that, get to her so fast. She tried not to squirm, but his mouth was too sinful, his tongue too wicked.
He went back to her thigh, kissing his way reverently up and down both inner thighs. He nipped occasionally, sending a shocking dart of fire through her body, then eased that ache with his tongue. His kisses went higher and higher and she found herself holding her breath in anticipation. Waiting. Heat coiled inside of her. Need tightened her body.
He finally reached her straining clit, but instead of giving her some relief there, he traced around it with his tongue, occasionally giving the engorged button light flicks. Once he flicked hard enough to send shock waves rolling through her body, so she was gasping, arching off the bed. His hand came down on her belly, fingers spread to take in a lot of territory, putting just enough pressure to keep her in place and at his mercy.
Mitya used the flat part of his tongue, stroking and laving until she was squirming in need. The second hard strike was all the more shocking when his tongue had been so gentle. Ania felt the flick through her entire body each time. Her breasts ached. Her nipples peaked and became almost as inflamed as her clit. The muscles in her belly tightened, rippled and clenched with need.