But it still made him sad to think of all the precious years he’d wasted on her, continued to waste. She was the reason he couldn’t seem to bring himself to start over. It seemed like far too much work to try, and extraordinarily scary on top of that. Even if he did try, he was sure wherever he started would turn out to be the wrong spot.
He pulled up in the parking lot and grabbed his gym bag, hoping that maybe just one time when he got there the blond lady would be leaving, and he could stop her and talk to her out in the lot, away from the actual gym and prying eyes. But he wasn’t sure he’d have the courage even if that ever happened.
Once changed and out of the locker room, Tony walked to the far end of the main room to hit the free weights. Most of the usual people were there. Kelly and the blond lady were on the treadmills. When he passed, Kelly looked up first and he nodded, only to have her return his greeting with a sexy little wave and a 100-megawatt smile.
Then the blond glanced his way. Tony smiled a small, warm smile and nodded. She smiled back and looked at her feet. She was so cute when she did that – that shy thing, like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t. He wouldn’t exactly call her a beauty, but she was a nice-looking, very well-put-together woman, with decent-sized, real-looking breasts, a nice, tight ass, and not an extra ounce of fat on her, just lean and strong. Tony thought she looked like someone who could hold a decent conversation. He’d really like to find out.
But not tonight. Tonight he’d work out, eat, and watch the game. Then he’d go to bed like he always did – alone – and get up tomorrow and start all over. Tomorrow evening he’d smile and nod, and she’d smile back and look down at her feet. Then same song, second verse.
Like always.
CHAPTER THREE
“We’ll get those delivered tomorrow morning for you. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“No, I think that’s everything. She’s going to love them!” the young man said, grinning from ear to ear as he turned to leave.
“If she doesn’t, you let us know right away and we’ll make it right,” Nikki replied. “Have a great afternoon.”
Nikki turned a bit and noticed the young woman in the far corner. “Miss, is there anything I can help you with?”
“Uh, yeah. I need something for my girlfriend,” she said, caressing a large pink rose.
“What’s the occasion?”
“Our anniversary,” the girl offered. She was petite and lovely, with long, dark hair, golden skin, and soft brown eyes that lit up when she mentioned their special day.
“First? Or long time?”
“We’ve been together for five years,” the girl replied, looking at a crystal vase.
“Well, congratulations to you both! What’s her favorite color?”
“Lavender.”
“I think I might have just the thing. Let me get them.” From the cooler, Nikki brought out an armload of something wrapped in tissue. She opened the tissue to reveal a dozen exquisite lavender-colored roses. “Whaddya think? Think she’d like these?”
“Oh, my god, she’d love those! Maybe in this vase? With some other stuff in them, you know, those little white things . . .”
“Baby’s breath? Of course. And some fern. We can do it up right nice. I think you’ll be pleased,” Nikki smiled at her. “So let’s get some information and get started. Your name?”
“Annabeth Walters,” the girl replied.
“And they’re going to . . .”
“Katie Reynolds. 451 Thrush Lane.”
“Oh, she’s my neighbor! I live on Bluejay Lane.”
“Really? We’ve lived over there for the last four years, ever since we had our ceremony.”
“Commitment ceremony? Wedding?”
“Well, we call it our wedding, but it was a commitment ceremony. You know Kentucky’s not that progressive!” Annabeth laughed.
“Don’t I know it!” Nikki was impressed with the young woman. She exuded self-confidence. “You’re so lucky to find each other.”
“Thanks! Yeah, I don’t know what I’d do without Katie.” A wistful smile stretched across Annabeth’s face. “She’s smart and funny and beautiful. And she understands me better than anyone.”
“Everyone deserves to have someone like that,” Nikki said thoughtfully, pulling the crystal vase from the shelf and putting it with the order slip.
“You’re the flower shop lady. You’re in the business of making love bloom! That makes you an expert – I bet you have a special someone, too.”
“Well, I did. But not anymore. Some things don’t last forever.” Nikki couldn’t bear to make eye contact with Annabeth.
“That’s so true. Divorces are hard for everyone. My parents are divorced.”
Nikki swallowed hard. “Not divorced. My husband, um, passed.”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! That’s awful.” The sad look on the girl’s face was exactly what Nikki didn’t need.
“It certainly has been,” Nikki replied. She hesitated before adding, “We’d been married for thirty years.”
“Wow. Do you have kids?” Annabeth asked.
“Had.” She hesitated again. “They passed as well.” Nikki couldn’t force herself to look up, to see the look on Annabeth’s face. She’d seen it too often, that mixture of horror and pity.
It took a minute before the young woman spoke. “How terrible for you. I’m so, so sorry. It seems like you’re doing very well, though. That’s good, right?”
“Looks can be deceiving, dear. But enough about me. Planning a big anniversary date?” Nikki asked, smiling.
Annabeth was relieved that the topic had changed. “Yeah, dinner at Brisbane. It’s Katie’s favorite place.”
“I’ve never been there, but I hear it’s really nice.” Then Nikki had a thought. “Would you like for us to send them to the restaurant? They’ll put them on your table when you come in.”
“Oh, that would be great! What a good idea.” Annabeth smiled warmly. “You know, it’s been really nice talking to you. Most people recoil in horror when they find out I have a girlfriend. You didn’t.”
“Of course I didn’t. The heart wants what it wants. And everyone deserves love, don’t they?” Annabeth couldn’t help but notice how warm Nikki’s eyes were when she spoke.
“Yes, you’re right – everyone does. What’s your name, by the way?”
“It’s Nikki. Nikki Wilkes. And it’s been really nice talking to you, Annabeth. Have a great afternoon and let us know if she’s not satisfied with the flowers,” Nikki called behind her as Annabeth turned to the door.
“At this point, I’m way more concerned about paying for the dinner!” Annabeth laughed, waving as she walked out.
Nikki smiled. What a sweet young lady. She was probably a little younger than Nikki’s daughter Amanda would’ve been. Nikki wondered if Amanda would’ve found someone special by now. She thought about Jake, too. He’d just gotten the paperwork on his divorce a week before the accident. He might’ve started over by now.
At that point her mind couldn’t help but drift to Randy. Even after five years, she still thought of him almost every second of every day. He’d been ripped from her so violently that she couldn’t help but feel life was hemorrhaging from her daily. She couldn’t say she hadn’t looked at other men since, but she hadn’t considered dating anyone. Didn’t matter; no one had asked. She wondered if she had that “wounded animal” look that turned men off completely.
The phone rang and interrupted her reverie. She was thankful for every distraction. Another customer, another order. Weddings, funerals, birthdays. Everyone had something special to celebrate, someone’s life to commemorate.
Except her.
CHAPTER FOUR
“Hi, baby! What can I do for you?”
Tony was always glad when Annabeth stopped by. She was like a ray of sunshine come to sit in his office for a few minutes. “Could Katie and I please use the house in Gatlinburg next weekend?” Annabeth
toyed with the tiny Camaro on Tony’s desk. The model was painted to look exactly like his car.
“Sure, honey. I’ll call Roselle and ask her to have it ready for you. Big occasion? Or running away?” he laughed. The house in Tennessee had long been a haven for his little family when things with Dottie got too difficult in Louisville.
“Running away. Work’s been extremely brutal for Katie lately. We just need to go somewhere that isn’t ‘da Ville.’” Tony didn’t like the tired look that passed across her face.
“That bad?” She looked more stressed than he’d ever seen her.
“Yeah. When she took this promotion, she didn’t realize she’d be cleaning up some really bad loans the last guy made.” Annabeth frowned. “She’s working lots of evenings and Saturdays, but she’s insisted on being off on Sundays. That’s all that’s saved us.”
“Then of course, use the house; that’s why I keep it. Stay as long as you like.” Tony came around from behind his desk and held out his arms. “Come here and let me give you a hug.” Annabeth stood and let him hug her long and hard, and she rested her face on his broad chest.
“You’re the best dad in the world,” Annabeth sniffled.
“Aw, thanks, honey. You’re the best daughter!” He gave her a big kiss on her forehead. She brightened, and he could see her relaxing, the furrows in her forehead softening.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you this weekend some time.” Then a perky look came over her. “Oh, and there’s something else I’d like for you to do for me,” she added.
“Oh? What’s that?”
“There’s this lady I met at the florist shop, The Passionate Pansy. I really think you need to go by and meet her,” Annabeth said matter-of-factly.
“Now, Bethie, we’ve been over this before . . .”
“Dad, I think you’d really like her.” Annabeth put her hands on her hips. “She’s seems very sweet, and she’s a widow. They’d been married thirty years when he died. Her name is Nikki. Can’t you just go by there and check her out? She’d never have to know.”
Tony set his jaw. “Annabeth, you know I’m not interested in getting involved with anyone.” How many times did he have to go over this with everyone in his family? Why did they keep harping at him?
“Dad, I’m just asking you to . . .”
“Can we drop this? Please? I really don’t want to meet any women, period.” Tony returned to his chair and dropped in weariness, then turned and put his elbows on the gleaming desktop. “I tried that once. It was a disaster. I’m not eager to try it again.” He’d gone out with Elaine Burrows a couple of times and she’d nearly worried him to death, trying to find out how much he made every year, then trying to cajole him into a proposal – all in two dates! He hadn’t even slept with her, and he hadn’t been out with anyone since. And if Annabeth had any idea how long it had been since he’d had sex, she might’ve decided there was something seriously wrong with him.
“Okay, Daddy. I love you. But please, think about it.” She turned and left, waving to him from over her shoulder.
Tony put his head down on the desk. He couldn’t tell Annabeth, his son, Clayton, or Raffaella, his mother, how lonely he was. They’d drive him insane trying to get him to ask out someone, anyone. After all the horrible years with Dottie, there was no way he’d get involved with any woman. His hand was a much better sex partner than Dottie had ever been, and gave him a lot less trouble. And he’d never had to have it committed to a mental ward.
But Annabeth and Clayton both had seen right through Elaine and neither had liked nor trusted her. They were both good judges of character and had good instincts. What made Annabeth sure this woman was different from all the rest?
There was a knock at the door and a ruddy face peered in. “Busy, boss?” Jason asked.
“Nah. Come on in,” Tony answered, trying to clear his mind.
“The concrete work looks good. I’m on my way to pick up a replacement fixture for the Brookwood site. Need anything while I’m out and about?” Jason offered.
“Can’t think of anything.”
Jason stood staring at Tony for a minute. “You okay? You look kind of, I don’t know, rattled maybe?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Tony sighed. “Annabeth was just here. We were talking about something and then, out of the blue, she announced she wants me to meet this lady she met.”
“I know that’s hard for you.” Jason gave Tony his best sympathetic look. “I have to side with her, though – you need to meet someone nice. Hey, if you don’t like this lady, I know someone . . .”
“Oh, for god’s sake, you too?” Tony put his head in his hands. “Are you kidding? No. Not gonna happen.”
“Well, if you change your mind, let me know,” Jason laughed. “She’s small, blond, cute, your age range. Very smart. Used to be the secretary of our neighborhood association. I think you’d like her.”
“Nope. But thanks.” Tony ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Okay, boss, whatever you say. Just remember I offered to introduce you.” Jason waved as he walked out, just like Annabeth had, in that defeated kind of over-the-shoulder gesture.
Tony sat staring after Jason. What was it with everyone he knew? Sure, he was lonely, but did he look that miserable? He wasn’t, really. He had a very full life. There were the kids, his mother and brothers, his cousin who worked for him, three homes, and the company. Work took up almost all of his time. It was an effort to maybe have a little bit of lunch and make time for the gym. He had everything he could handle. Why did everyone think he had time for a relationship?
And besides, love was highly overrated. Look what it had gotten him – years and years of pain and suffering. If Dottie hadn’t been so damned determined to get crazier than she’d already been, they would’ve probably still been married. Loveless, sure, but still together.
The life he had was good enough. He didn’t need a woman to take up his time. Tony picked up his coffee cup and took a swig, then spit it back into the cup – cold, just like his heart. But being open, letting someone in, would be too hard.
CHAPTER FIVE
Nikki hated Sundays. It was the only day of the week she had nothing to do outside the house. She remembered the days when she loved being at home. Now, it was just a place that reminded her of how alone she was. Except for Bill and Hillary, she really didn’t have a reason to be there. But she was still lonely, even with them around her ankles.
Sunday morning in the conservative upper South meant the gym would very nearly be empty while everyone was in church; everyone except her, anyway. She dressed in the first gym clothes she could pull out of the closet, and then pulled her hair back in a ponytail and added a headband to keep it out of her face. She looked in the mirror – not very attractive, but no one ever looked at her. After all, she was all but invisible in the world.
Hers was one of only four cars in the gym lot, and one of them had to belong to whoever was working the front desk. Once she’d stashed her things in her locker, she hit the cardio theater. Boobalicious was already on a treadmill and nodded to her as she walked up. Nikki set the treadmill’s program and dug in. She looked around. Other than Boobalicious, the only other person working out was a young guy she’d never seen before.
Fifteen minutes in, something caught Nikki’s eye, and she looked up to see The Italian walk in the front door. When he strolled out to the weight area, he nodded to Boobalicious. Nikki looked down at her feet, then back up, only to find him looking directly at her. He smiled and nodded, and she smiled back before looking down again. When she looked up again, he was gone, already standing in the weight area with his back to her, curling some incredibly heavy-looking dumbbells.
Nikki could feel her face burning. Why couldn’t she smile back with some confidence, make eye contact, and stop being so shy? She was afraid; afraid of being rejected, of looking desperate, or, worse yet, stupid. She got so mad at herself sometimes. Trying to concentrate o
n the walking program was useless. When she felt hot tears welling up in her eyes, she shut down the treadmill and jetted into the locker room.
Nikki sat on the bench in the locker room and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. No use in crying about it. It was just another wasted opportunity. She heard footsteps and looked up.
Boobalicious walked into the locker room, mopping the back of her neck with a towel. She glanced at Nikki and smiled. “Hi! We’ve never spoken, but my name’s Kelly.” She held out her hand.
Nikki shook it. “I’m Nikki. Nice to finally meet you.”
“Yeah.” Kelly unlocked her locker and started taking shower items out. “I see you here all the time. Nice décor, huh?” Kelly nodded her head toward the exercise area. Nikki looked at her, puzzled. “The guys. We’ve got some pretty good looking ones here, don’t you think?”
“Can’t say I’ve noticed,” Nikki bluffed, digging in her purse for her hairbrush.
“Are you kidding me? You had to notice. Especially Tony. You know – Tony Walters.” Kelly spoke the words as though Nikki should’ve known who she was talking about. “I’ve noticed how he looks at you,” Kelly added.
“Me?” Nikki shook her head. “You think someone was looking at me? You must be mistaken.”
“Hell no! The good-looking, dark-haired guy? He just nods to me. But he smiles at you every time he sees you. Introduce yourself!”
“Oh, no, I could never do that.” Nikki could feel her cheeks starting to burn again.
“Shame,” Kelly smiled. “I think he’s into you. He’d be quite the catch, you know. Oh, well, nice to finally meet you,” the buxom brunette told her as she walked away.