by Diana Palmer
She walked out of the room. He looked after her with a sinking heart and felt as if he’d stepped into a deep hole from which there was no escape. So much pain in those brown eyes, so much torment. She’d run to Grier now, damn him, and he’d marry her in a second, given the chance. But Grier wasn’t the sort of man who could make her happy. She’d never understand him, or fit into his world. Any more than Judd himself would fit into Tippy Moore’s social set.
He remembered Christabel’s clinging arms, her hungry mouth pressed to his, her body moving with aching delight under his on those crisp white sheets in the darkness. She’d been his very dream of perfection. But desire alone wouldn’t be enough for her. She’d want him around all the time, she’d want children. He shivered, just thinking about those sort of ties. He’d never even considered having a real marriage. His father’s example haunted him. What if Christabel, like his mother, found someone else and ran away? Anyway, he’d only married her on paper so that he could assume responsibility for her and her mother and carry on business while she was underage. He’d kept her at arm’s length to ensure there wouldn’t be complications. But in the turmoil that followed the shooting, he’d needed someone, so desperately. It had been unthinkable to go to another woman. He’d...used her. Or had he? He remembered her hunger for him with anguish. She’d waited so long, while he’d tried to decide if he could even consider settling down for good. He needed more time...
But she was of legal age now, and she wanted out. Out of business, out of marriage, out of his life. That was what he wanted, too. Or was it? He tried to picture never seeing her alone again, never riding fence lines with her, never sharing coffee late at night with her, never talking to her and having that soft, sweet comfort all for himself. She always knew when he was sad or upset, and just what to say to bring him out of it. At times, she almost read his mind. She made him feel warm inside, just by being near him. And now, remembering the feverish response of her body to him in intimacy, he felt even closer to her. But now, he felt...empty. Alone.
He picked up his hat and slanted it over his brow, frowning. He’d get used to being without her. It wasn’t going to be that hard. It was the best thing. She was far too young for him, and she hadn’t enough experience of men to settle down yet. His conscience reminded him that Grier would snap her up like a prize trout the minute that marriage license was legally void. Christabel, hurt and rejected, would probably marry him immediately on the rebound.
He started toward the door in a half-blind fog of indecision just as it opened and Maude came ambling in with a bag of groceries.
“Hello, Judd. How are things going?” she asked with a gentle smile.
“Slow, for a change,” he replied. He glanced toward the kitchen, where he could hear running water. “Keep an eye on her, will you?” he added. “She’s upset.”
She gave him a knowing look. “No need to ask why. Don’t worry about her,” she added with a grin. “I’ve got news that will cheer her right up. Cash is taking her to the New Year’s Eve celebration downtown tonight. He’s got tickets and there’s going to be a band, too.”
Judd scowled. “He’s too old for her,” he bit off, before he could choose his words.
Maude only smiled at him. “You wouldn’t think so, to see them together. She makes him young. And you don’t have to look hard to know that he’s crazy for her. If she were free, he’d have her in front of a minister so fast...!”
“I have to go,” he said coldly. “Happy New Year.”
“You, too. That reminds me, you never did get your Christmas presents,” she said. “Want me to get them for you? I knitted you some socks. She got you a tie tack—a sterling silver star. Remember, you told her you’d love to have one of those? She went to Victoria and spent a whole day looking for just the right thing...you going right now?” she added when he started out the door blindly.
“Yes.” His voice sounded choked. He couldn’t bear remembering that he hadn’t given Christabel anything. An expensive ring for Tippy, who was only a superficial part of his life, and absolutely nothing for the woman who’d sacrificed so much to keep this run-down ranch going while he worked.
“Well, drive safely, then,” Maude called after him. “Not going to tell Crissy goodbye?”
He didn’t answer her. He stalked out to the SUV, climbed in behind the wheel, and took off like a rocket.
Maude found Crissy at the sink, with tears running silently down her cheeks. She hesitated in the doorway. “You need me to do anything?”
She smiled through the tears and shook her head.
“Cash said he’d come by about six and take you to the New Year’s Eve celebration,” she added quickly. “That should cheer you up!”
She closed her eyes. Thank God for Cash. “Yes,” she said huskily. “And believe me, I need it. Maude, Judd and I are getting a divorce so he can marry Tippy, isn’t that wonderful?”
Maude didn’t know what to say.
“I might marry Cash,” she continued.
“Don’t do that, baby,” Maude said gently. “Two wrongs won’t make anything right. Besides, you might remember that Judd’s going through a traumatic time right now. I wouldn’t put too much trust in anything he said while he’s this upset. He’s not thinking straight. Wait until he gets through counseling and has put the shooting behind him before you make any concrete decisions, okay?”
Maude had no idea what was really going on, and Crissy didn’t want to tell her. She drew in a steadying breath and put detergent in the water she was running. “He didn’t even get me a computer program or anything for Christmas, Maude,” she told the older woman. “He gave her that expensive ring. He said it was an engagement ring, just like Tippy told us. I guess he’s really in love with her. So that’s that. I want him to be happy.”
So did Maude, but at the moment she could have strangled him. She put the groceries she was still holding on the kitchen table. “More in the car,” she murmured, and went out to get them. Crissy didn’t even look. She couldn’t see much through her tears, anyway.
* * *
The New Year’s Eve party was great. There was a set of steer horns used to mark the countdown to the new year—Calhoun Ballenger’s tongue-in-cheek remark having been taken seriously by the city fathers—and most of the founding families of Jacobsville were represented at the first annual celebration at the Jacobsville Civic Center just off the town square. Janie Brewster Hart and her new husband, Leo, married just before Christmas, clung to each other as an unexpected little skirl of snow drifted down over the gathering outside when the horns went down and the new year was proclaimed. Everyone smiled indulgently.
Cash bent down and kissed Crissy lightly on the mouth. She caught him around the neck and kissed him back, with a sudden enthusiasm that shook him to the soles of his feet. He returned the kiss with fervent ardor, with all his skill. She smiled under the crush of his mouth, enjoying the novelty of being in his arms. He wasn’t Judd, but he was pleasant to kiss, just the same. No need to ask how experienced he really was, it showed. They were oblivious to the people around them, and to even more amused glances.
Inevitably, news of the hot kiss got back to Judd. He was now working his way through therapy and back on the job. It didn’t sit well, especially since he was regretting his impulsive speech to Christabel about the divorce more with each passing day.
Jack Clark was taken up to Victoria in handcuffs to attend his brother’s indigent funeral a few days after the autopsy. On the way back to Jacobsville, Jack had been so docile and polite that the kindly deputy sheriff transporting him broke protocol and left him handcuffed instead of chained. At a rest stop, because Clark said he had to use the bathroom, the kind deputy was rewarded by being knocked over the head twice with the butt of his own .38 caliber service revolver and left for dead in a driving rain in the grass next to the Victoria-Jacobsville highway. Later that day, the
deputy’s squad car was found deserted a few miles outside Victoria.
Unable to get down to Jacobsville that day because of his busy schedule, Judd phoned Cash Grier and told him what happened. He also had to ask the man to keep an eye on Christabel, fearing that Jack Clark had scores to settle with all of them, especially Judd and Christabel. That rankled, because he’d heard about the infamous New Year’s kiss even in Victoria. One of the sheriff’s deputies he shared space with was married and lived in Jacobsville and commuted back and forth to work. He’d found it amusing that cold, hard Cash Grier had been caught by such a young woman, and judging from that kiss, it was serious, too, he said carelessly.
The man didn’t know that Christabel was married to Judd. Neither did any of the other men in the office, who apparently felt comfortable speculating on Christabel and Grier right in front of Judd. He couldn’t bear the thought of Christabel and Cash Grier together, even while he was trying to tell himself that he wanted no part of family life.
The film crew came back for its last two weeks of shooting, including retakes, and Christabel was so subdued that she hardly noticed Tippy. She’d passed all her fall courses and signed up for the next semester.
Judd showed up early on the first Saturday morning of shooting, a cold but sunny day. Cash was already there, talking to one of his men on security duty and waiting for Christabel to get ready so that he could take her out for the day.
She hadn’t expected to see Judd and she reacted uncomfortably. So did Judd. They spoke with the icy politeness of warring strangers. Christabel didn’t even smile at him. Tippy saw the new tension and discomfort between the two of them and came up with an unpleasant theory about why. Gary was more amorous and predatory than he’d ever been, and she was scared to death to find herself alone with him even in company. She couldn’t afford to let Judd desert her now!
So while Judd was briefly talking to the assistant director, Gary, passing the time between equipment setups, Tippy paused beside an unusually quiet Christabel, who could barely keep her eyes off Judd. He was pointedly ignoring her.
“That’s what happens when you wear your heart on your sleeve, Miss Gaines,” Tippy told her lightly. “You shouldn’t throw yourself at men if you want to get anywhere. Sex is such a poor way to hold a man like Judd anyway. He’s just too disgusted for words, can’t you tell? He told me that you were embarrassing him with your behavior. All he wants is to forget it ever happened. He says you threw yourself at him and he couldn’t help himself.”
Christabel looked at the older woman with horror in her eyes. For an instant, Tippy felt guilty for the lie. But it had worked well, for a shot in the dark.
“Disgusted,” she repeated dully, sick at her stomach. Well, that was certainly plain speaking. Judd couldn’t bear the sight of her anymore. Her inexperience and headlong passion had disgusted him. He’d told Tippy all about it, that she’d thrown herself at him! He only wanted to forget what had happened. Well, was it really a surprise? Hadn’t he pretty much said the same thing to her? But he hadn’t been quite this brutal, even when he mentioned the divorce.
She turned away and went to get her purse. She didn’t think to put on a sweater, and it was cold today. When she came back out, Judd was on the porch.
She didn’t meet his eyes. She was unbearably hurt. She snagged her purse on her shoulder with jerky movements.
“Are you all right?” he asked hesitantly.
Her lips made a thin line. “I understand the sight of me disgusts you, that I embarrass you just by being here. For the time being, I can’t help it, but I promise to keep as far away from you as possible when you come here. You might tell Miss Moore that she doesn’t need to keep sniping at me on your account. You’ll get your divorce the minute you ask for it!” Her eyes came up, wounded and furious. “How could you tell her we slept together, that I threw myself at you? How could you, Judd!”
He scowled, and started to speak, but she went out into the yard near one of the outbuildings to wait while Cash finished speaking with his man.
Judd felt his temper rising. How could Tippy have told such a lie to Christabel, after he’d already torn the heart out of her? He strode toward the model with blood in his eye, cornering her a few yards away from where Christabel was standing near the outbuilding.
“Why did you tell her she disgusted me?” he asked Tippy angrily. “Why lie to her?”
Tippy was too shocked to answer him. It hadn’t occurred to her that the woman would repeat what she’d said, and so quickly. She started to speak and then a movement behind Judd caught her eye.
Christabel moved a little farther away from the painful sight of Judd standing close to Tippy Moore. She was just in time to see a thin, balding man with a leveled handgun pointed directly at Judd’s back.
There was no time. Judd could react in a split second, but in the split second it would take her to call to him, he’d be dead. There was really no other decision to make, so Christabel made it.
She stepped right out into the path of the gun just as Clark fired.
Strangely, there was no real pain. She felt the impact of something hard and then it became almost impossible to breathe. She stared at the man who’d just shot her as the loud pop sounded, and with a jerky little moan, she fell to the ground face first, unconscious and bleeding.
Tippy saw it happen with utter horror. “Judd!” she squealed, her cry blanked out by the loud pop of the pistol as it fired.
With years of instinct behind him, in a single smooth motion, Judd pulled his .45 Colt automatic, turned, and fired, hitting Clark squarely in the hand. The man dropped the pistol and fell to his knees.
Judd went toward him without hesitation, noticing absently that Christabel had fainted. Cash Grier came running up, his gun out.
“I’ll cuff him,” Judd said. “Check Christabel. I guess she fainted.” He wrestled Clark to the ground and pinned his arms behind him to clip on the handcuffs, deaf to the man’s cry of pain and furious threats. “Barnes, call for an ambulance!” he yelled at the security man, who waved and began speaking into the two-way radio transmitter on the inside shoulder of his uniform.
“Judd!”
Cash’s voice was oddly cracked.
The unfamiliar sound made Judd uneasy. He left Clark cuffed on his knees, retrieved the .38 caliber revolver Clark had been carrying and stuck it in his duty belt. He joined Cash near Christabel’s prone body. Tippy had been frozen in place, but she moved closer, too, along with the rest of the stunned cast.
Cash’s hand came out from under Christabel’s chest covered with bright red blood.
Judd stopped breathing. He stopped thinking. She hadn’t fainted. She lay still and unmoving. She was dead. Clark had killed her. He turned with a sharp curse and went for the handcuffed man with an economy of motion that was frightening.
“Judd, no! Stop him!” Cash yelled to the crew.
Three men, two of them engineers, one the assistant director, caught Judd just as he reached the shooter and wrested him away from Clark. Judd cursed roundly, his voice breaking as reality began to trickle into his numbed senses.
“Let me go, damn you!” he panted, struggling furiously with his captors.
“Judd, she’s still alive!” Cash called. “She’s alive, do you hear me? Get over here! I can’t do this alone!”
Judd wrenched away from the men holding him as they reluctantly released their hold. He joined Cash abruptly as the other man turned her body over, gently, with hands that were visibly shaking. Judd was white in the face, breathing jerkily.
Blood was pulsing from the front of her blouse, saturating it and the ground under her. It was so cold that the warm blood made steam rise from the dead grass and dirt. She was unconscious and sucking noisily at air.
“Collapsed lung,” Cash said professionally, through gritted teeth. “She’s
been hit somewhere in the rib cage.” He looked at Judd with wild eyes. “We need blankets, something to prop her legs up with, pressure on the wound...”
Judd just sat there, horror in every line of his face as he looked at her, so white and still. For the first time in his adult life, he simply could not act. There was so much blood, he thought blankly. So much! Cash wasn’t in much better shape, feeling helpless, too, at the sight of her like that.
Tippy rushed in, remembering graphically what she’d said to the other woman just minutes earlier, the lie she’d told. She hated herself. She felt sick at the sight of the blood, but she was no stranger to emergencies.
She jerked off the expensive sweater she was wearing and put it over the wound, pressing down hard to try and stop the bleeding. Grier glanced at her in surprise.
“She’s going into shock,” Tippy said calmly. “We need some blankets.”
“Blankets!” Cash yelled.
Men started running. Maude heard the commotion and came running out of the house, only to run back in when she was told what had happened and what was needed. She ran back out carrying the bedcovers from the guest room, a big comforter and a quilt. She handed them to Cash, who covered Christabel while Tippy kept pressure on the wound. Maude rolled up another blanket and used it to elevate Christabel’s legs. Tears were running down her cheeks. She sobbed as she wrung her hands and watched.
“How about that ambulance?!” Grier yelled at his man.
Even as he raged, the sound of sirens pierced the hum of hushed conversation around them. Judd had one of Christabel’s small hands in his. He was holding it so hard that her knuckles were white. His eyes were dead. He didn’t even seem to be aware of the people around him.
She was beginning to shiver all over, and a harsh, piteous groan split her dry lips.
The sound mobilized a frozen Judd. He brushed back her hair from her white face. “Be still, honey,” he said huskily. “It’s all right. I’m here. You’re going to be fine. Where the hell is that damned ambulance!” he yelled hoarsely, his deep voice colored with fear.