by J. F. Smith
Mope stood up and snapped into a rigid posture, his eyes fixed determinedly ahead. To Matt, it looked like a two-ton cement truck could hit Mope head on and he wouldn’t budge an inch. Mope barked loudly, “Fire team!” It made Matt jump it was so sudden.
Immediately, with no arguments, discussion, confused looks, or hesitation, the other three team members jumped up and into the same rock-like position of attention as Mope.
Mope boomed again, his deep voice reverberating through the hangar deck, “Fire team! Who are we?”
All four of them responded in exact unison, “We are SEAL Team 8!”
Mope shouted, his deep voice drawing the attention of almost everyone on the hangar deck, “Fire team! SEAL Team 8 has a creed! What is that creed?”
Again, all four shouted the response in the same practiced unison, “We are SEAL Team 8! We exist to serve our mission, to fight for our brothers, and to defend our country! Even with our last bullet! Even with our last breath! We do not fail!”
Even when finished, all four of them stood stock still, eyes locked straight ahead. Matt watched this and felt strange. He felt almost uncomfortable by what he saw. There wasn’t the slightest hint of sarcasm or irony or complacency in their words or their faces. They meant each word that came out of their mouths. Matt was feeling the same way he felt the day before when Mope had talked about courage, and faith, and trust. What was making him uncomfortable was that he realized that he had never been committed to anything in his life to the degree this team was. He had that luxury, and he felt the poorer for it. It made him feel ashamed, but it inspired him, too.
Suddenly, the words "we exist to serve our mission" reverberated through him. He understood the message Mope was sending him through this. If Matt couldn’t have confidence in these men around him right now, then would there ever be anything in his life that he could believe in?
Matt desperately wanted to not let these guys down. He wanted to be worthy of the risk that they had already put themselves at to save his life, and the risk they were about to put themselves at again. He never wanted anything so badly in his entire life.
Mope finally said to the team, “As you were, men,” and all four relaxed out of their rigid poses and looked over at Matt.
“Mope, Colorado, Baya, Desantos…” said Matt, quietly, “I swear to God, I’ll do everything I can to not disappoint you guys.”
Baya was the one that spoke and said, “You’ll do fine, Matt. And we’ll be there.”
That was the key, though. That was what actually made this tough for Matt. The plan that Randall had laid out didn’t require Matt to do hardly anything. He just had to be at a specific café for a while, and then leave. The thing that hadn’t hit Matt until he heard Randall describe the plan was that he’d be alone.
The SEALs would be there, somewhere, but invisible, and Matt would not see them. If Matt could see them, then the targets could, too, and that would be failure. Matt would have to have a faith that he had never had before. But after listening to them recite their team creed, the thought reverberated through him again – if he couldn’t have that faith in these guys, then what could he?
Petey, as was usual for him, managed to break up the seriousness, though. He said, “Hey, skip chicks, how about this for some motivation… when this is over tomorrow night, I’ll let you blow me like you’ve been begging to do. Huh?”
Matt smiled in spite of himself. He pushed the hair out of his forehead and said to Petey, “Colorado, I’d have to get a tetanus shot before going down on that tiny, rusty thumbtack of a dick you’ve got.”
Petey laughed and shook his head, “Ok, we’re going to settle this once and for all. You keep accusing me of having a tiny dick. Let’s see who has the tiny dick.”
So right there, in the wide open space of the hangar deck of the USS Iwo Jima, Petey reached down and pulled his pants and boxers shorts down so that his dick, with its scorching red bush, was fully exposed for everyone to see. Even the nearby flight ops personnel and maintenance guys started clapping and whistling at Petey.
Petey issued the challenge, “Okay, you big bag of homo, let’s see how you measure up to this here prime Navy cannon!”
Baya and Desantos started laughing, and even Mope had a slight grin. Matt groaned and mumbled, “Shit, I can’t believe I’m doing this.” He stood up, unbuttoned his pants, and pulled them down in front of everyone. Both Desantos and Baya started laughing hysterically and Matt spun around with his arms out so all the flight ops and maintenance guys within eyesight could get a good look as well. Anybody that was near enough to watch stopped what they were doing and started hooting and yelling.
What was clear to everyone was that Matt had Petey beat, easily. Even soft, Matt’s dick was probably twice as big.
Mope held out his hands and shrugged in sympathy for Petey. He said, “Sorry, Colorado, you lose. You know what this means…”
Petey cursed, “Goddammit!” He glared at Matt, “Mary Fagdalene, this is all your fault!” Petey looked over at Mope, clearly disgusted. “How many?” he asked.
Mope said, “Give me ten, Colorado!”
Matt and Petey both pulled their pants up, but Matt was completely lost and had no idea what Petey and Mope were talking about.
Mope and Petey walked a few feet away to where the bulkhead of the hangar deck was. Matt looked over at Desantos, confused. Desantos said, “Petey’s gotta do ten v-ups. They’re vertical push-ups. If you’ve never seen them… watch this.”
Petey got next to the wall and did a handstand with Mope helping him to find his balance. Once Petey was reasonably balanced and his feet only barely touched the wall to keep him upright, they all counted off as he performed ten push-ups in a row this way. Matt stared in disbelief, his mouth hanging open stupidly. He had never seen anyone perform push-ups while in a completely vertical handstand.
When Petey was done and had stood back up, Matt said, “That was… amazing, Petey!”
But Desantos said, “C’mon Mope! Why don’t you show off a little! Show him the real thing!”
Petey frowned and said, “Yeah, no reason for me to be the only one doing this shit!”
Mope looked around, rubbed his hands together, and said, “Okay, five each.”
Unlike Petey, no one helped Mope and he didn’t use the wall to keep his balance.
Mope flipped up into the handstand position and held for a second until he was sure he had the proper balance. And to Matt’s utter amazement, Mope shifted his center of gravity slightly and lifted his left arm off the ground so his entire body was supported on his right arm. In this position, and with one arm, he proceeded to lower and lift his entire body five times. When he finished those, he carefully shifted over to his left arm and performed five more repetitions with just that arm. Mope stood back up, and for the first time, Matt saw a broad smile across Mope’s face. The crowd of hangar personnel and even Marines that had gathered to watch the demonstration all talked amongst themselves and shook their heads in amazement. Matt thought to himself that if Mope would just smile like that in a bar, he’d have no problems meeting plenty of guys.
Petey yelled at him, “Mope, you fucking ham!”
Mope said, “Alright, alright, enough goofing-off. We’ve got a mission to prepare for. I need to go get some detailed sat images pulled so we can plan. Matt, why don’t you go relax. We’ll grab you later when it’s time for chow.”
“Hey, would it be ok if I went and made some calls back home?” asked Matt.
Petey said, “I’ll take him and catch up with you guys in the ready room in a little bit.”
Petey and Matt headed off forward, towards the bow of the ship, where the comm room that Matt had used the day before was. Petey asked, “So, Princess Buttery Goodend, does that butt buddy of yours let you stick that big thing you’ve got up his ass?”
Matt pushed on Petey’s shoulder playfully and said, “Jesus, Petey, do you sit up at night thinking these names up?”
Petey s
hrugged and said, “Hey, don’t get all uppity at me. That’s the name I saw on the nameplate outside your cabin.”
Matt pushed the hair out of his forehead and replied, “Fuck you. And it’s none of your business what me and my boyfriend do.”
Petey made a sour face at Matt and said, “I’ll take that as a yes.”
To Matt’s surprise, Petey didn’t just drop him off at the comm room. While the comm officer “set it up” so he could call back to the states (which Matt now had a good idea what that really meant), Petey settled into a spare chair to wait. Matt wasn’t sure he wanted Petey listening to his conversation, but hell, who knew how many other people were listening to it anyway.
With the time difference, Brian had just gotten into work for his morning when he answered the phone.
Brian said, “Hey, baby! I’m glad you called. I sent you an email, but you don’t seem to think I’m worth returning emails to now.”
“Yeah, I want to. I just haven’t been able to send emails right now.” Matt closed his eyes so he could focus entirely on the sound of Brian’s voice. He missed him and he missed home so much.
“So, I was still half asleep when you called yesterday, but you sounded a little funny and upset. Are you sure everything’s ok?”
Matt said, “I can’t go into it much. I tried to explain a little yesterday, but I don’t think you were able to focus very well. I ran into a little problem while over here and… the Navy happened to be there and helped me out. I’m with them right now.” Matt glanced over at Petey, who was sitting there listening to every word he said.
There was a pregnant pause, then Brian said, alarmed, “Wait… what?! I don’t remember any of this from your call yesterday! Are you sure you’re ok? When are you coming home?”
“I’m fine, Brian, I promise. I think I’ll be coming home in a couple of days. I’ll have to let you know when they’ve scheduled a way to get me home.”
“Ok, but tell me what happened. What kind of trouble?”
“I’m sorry, Brian, I really can’t talk about it right now.”
“What do you mean you can’t talk about it right now? I’m your fucking boyfriend, Matt! You’d better tell me! What happened?”
“Brian, I want to, but I can’t. I’ve been specifically asked to not discuss it. With anyone. Just give me some slack on this right now, ok?”
Brian sounded hurt and pissed all at the same time. “I can’t believe you don’t trust me. Is all this just you trying to pick some kind of fight with me for some reason?” The tone in Brian’s voice upset Matt. He didn’t like being accused of not trusting him, not right now. And how the hell could Brian think this was all just about picking a fight with him?
Matt said, his voice cracking, “Brian, I’m not trying to pick a fight with you! And this isn’t about trusting you or not trusting you!”
Matt caught a glimpse of Petey out of the corner of his eye, who could hear that the conversation wasn’t going well. Petey looked mad, like he was about to grab the handset from Matt and give this Brian guy something to think about. Matt held out his hand to stop him. That would be the last thing he needed right then.
Brian’s voice rose on the phone and Matt had to almost shout to interrupt him. He said to Brian, “Brian! Brian! Listen to me! I’ve got to go right now. I’ll call you when I know more about when I’m coming home. I love you, Brian!”
Brian said angrily, “Wait, I’m not done talking…”
Matt interrupted again, “I have to go now, Brian. I love you.”
Brian replied, “Fine,” and hung up.
Matt looked over at Petey, embarrassed by the call, but Petey didn’t say anything. Instead, Petey sat next to him, fighting to keep his anger in check.
Matt couldn’t face Petey at that moment, so he looked the other way while he called Jim next.
Jim was glad to hear from him again, and asked if Matt knew yet when he’d be coming home. He wanted to know if Matt could tell him more about what had happened now, but Matt reminded him he still couldn’t talk about it, and Jim didn’t press it. Jim did mention that Matt still sounded a little upset, but Matt explained about the call he had just made to Brian. Jim’s reply was that Brian’s reaction didn’t surprise him. Jim ended by saying that he and Bret were still worried about Matt, and that it was good to hear from him.
Finally, Matt called Bret, who immediately wanted to know what all was going on. Matt explained yet again that he couldn’t talk about it, to which Bret said Matt was going to have some heavy explaining to do once he did get home. Next, Bret wanted to know what ship Matt was on, and Matt wasn’t sure he was allowed to say, so he demurred on that question as well. Matt asked if Bret had gone to watch Jim at softball practice, trying to distract him from a lot of other questions, which actually worked pretty well. Bret told Matt he wanted him home soon, and to call him or Jim anytime day or night if there was anything they could do.
When Matt ended the call, he looked blankly at the handset for a moment. He really hoped that he would indeed see them all again. What he had committed himself to doing inserted itself into his mind again, and he hoped he was making the right decision.
He turned around to see Petey staring a hole in his back, his arms still crossed across his chest, and a look on his face that could blister paint off a car.
Matt said, “I’m going back to my rack.”
Petey stood up and said harshly, “Your boyfriend, Brian, did he say he loved you?”
“Relax, Colorado, he’s just wound up right now. He was mostly asleep when I talked to him yesterday.” Matt called him Colorado and tried to brush it all off as unimportant. But Matt felt a slight pang when he remembered that he was almost certain he heard another voice in the room with Brian when he talked to him before he had been abducted.
Petey’s expression didn’t change. He asked insistently, “Did that jerkoff say he loved you, Matt?”
Matt didn’t answer.
“What about the other two guys you called… they friends of yours?”
Matt was happy enough to change the subject. “Yeah, Bret and Jim. My two best friends.”
Petey nodded in approval. “Good. They seem like good friends.”
Petey left Matt to go to the ready room while Matt went back to his rack. When he got back to his cabin, taped right on the door was a sign that had been printed up that said “Princess Buttery Goodend”. Matt pulled the sign down and crumpled it up, but he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. He wondered how long it had been there. Two Marines coming down the passageway saw Matt at the door and both bowed slightly as they passed him. One said, “Your Majesty” in deference to Matt, followed by snickers as they continued on their way. They had obviously been down the passage at some point already.
Matt got in his bunk and started thinking over the plan for the next night. It made him nervous, but he needed to have it down.
Randall had said there was actually two parts to the mission, but the first part was really for the embassy in Damascus. They felt that someone in the embassy was leaking information, which is how the targets knew that there was information on Eric’s laptop that they wanted. Randall said they had an idea who was leaking the information, so they had already made sure this person knew Eric was still alive, still in Latakia, and that he’d be at a specific restaurant the next night before heading back to the embassy in Damascus the following day. If they had the right leak, then this would give the bad guys the information they needed to try again.
The second part of the mission was for Matt and the SEALs. They’d get Matt back into Latakia, and all he had to do was to go to that café at 9pm, have a leisurely dinner and leave at 11pm. The key was that he needed to leave a certain way. Hopefully, like the previous time, the targets would try and grab Matt after he left the café, but this time the SEALs would be there to grab them, instead. Matt had asked what would happen if they tried to grab him while at the café. Randall didn’t think they would, as that would be too brazen
for them. Mope assured Matt, though, that Baya would be acting as a sniper, keeping an eye on Matt while he was at the café, and if anyone tried anything there, they would simply get shot.
Randall had admitted that the entire plan might result in nothing, in which case Matt was to get back to the Iwo Jima. From there, Randall would see to it that he got home.
Matt hoped that it really would be that easy. All he had to do was have dinner and then leave. The rest was out of his hands. What scared him was that he would not see the SEALs. He would just have to trust that they were actually there.
He just had to have faith that Mope, Petey, Desantos and Baya were actually there, somewhere, when the shit hit the fan.
Chapter 16 – It Doesn’t Have To Be Like This
After dinner that evening, Matt went to the ready room to hang out while the team made a few arrangements in the staging area. Baya had told Matt to dig around in his bag and grab whatever video games he wanted and crank them up. He found a few that he liked and had started playing one by himself for about thirty minutes before Desantos showed up to grab a duffel bag out of one of the locked cabinets in the back.
Matt paused the game. He had wanted to catch Desantos alone for a moment anyway. A subtle vibe he had gotten from him and then something Baya had said left him with something he wanted to talk about.
He asked, “Hey, Desantos, you got a second?”
Desantos finished locking up the cabinet. He put the bag down on one of the seats and said, “Sure.”
Matt wasn’t sure how to approach this. He decided direct was best. “Look, I know that I’m the outsider here, but are you uncomfortable with me being gay?”
He didn’t ask it accusingly. He just wanted to know. Desantos hadn’t seemed quite as comfortable around Matt as Mope, Petey and Baya had, and on top of that Baya had said Desantos was pretty Catholic.
Desantos flopped down in one of the seats next to the duffel bag and said, “Let me guess… you’ve been talking to Baya, haven’t you? The short answer is that yes, I’m a Christian and yes, I’m a Catholic. But I don’t really have a problem with you being gay. I think all of us need to be right with God in the end, and I think that people that insist on being gay aren’t right with God. But, unlike a lot of people, I know it’s not my place to sit in judgment of anyone. In the end, it’s between you and God.”