“Are you sure?” she said.
He gave it back to her. “It isn’t a treasure map,” he said.
“Perhaps it’s a coded message.”
“There is no code,” he said.
“Those little symbols,” she said. “In the little boxes.”
He looked from the paper to her.
She’d collected cobwebs on her dress and in her hair on her way into the well room. She’d apparently dragged her hands through her hair while trying to decipher the Secret Message, because a number of pins dangled drunkenly from the thick curls. Her blue eyes shimmered with excitement, and the sunrise color had washed into her cheeks.
He was so tired of this hideous castle and the hideous weather and so tired of digging holes to bury feelings only to have them slither out, like snakes, and sink their fangs into him.
Why had he come back to England?
He knew it wasn’t good for him to be near her.
But he’d returned because of the Carsingtons—and it wasn’t fair. Why should he keep away from the one family that meant anything to him, because one member of that family turned him inside out and upside down?
“It’s rubbish,” he said. “The sort of scraps elderly people keep about for no earthly reason.”
The flush in her cheeks deepened and crept down her neck. A warning sign.
“He wasn’t like that,” she said. “If you’d look at his journals, you’d see. He’s meticulous. If he kept this, he had a reason.”
“It could be any reason,” he said. “Senility comes to mind.”
Her blue gaze narrowed as it lifted to meet his. “You told me to look for clues,” she said. “You told me to get to the bottom of it. I haven’t bothered you for days. Now I ask for your help, and you dismiss me out of hand. You know perfectly well that this paper means something.”
“I doesn’t mean anything!” he snapped. “There’s no treasure. There might have been once, but any rational person would know it’s long gone. Even the ghosts have lost interest. Haven’t you noticed? No wailing bagpipes in the middle of the night? No sign of them, since they scrawled on the basement wall.”
“It’s been raining,” she said. “They don’t want to trudge through a downpour carrying their bagpipes and the rest of their collection of ghost tricks.”
“The basement is booby trapped,” he said. “I made no secret of it, and they’ve heard, the way everybody hears everything.”
“And you think they’ve given up, just like that? You think your traps scared them away?”
“Well, no one’s set any before, have they?”
Her flush darkened. “Lisle, you are not—”
“This is ridiculous,” he said. “I’m not going to argue with you about ghosts.”
She waved the paper at him. “You could at least—”
“No,” he said. “I’m not going to waste time on worthless scribbles.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you’d look at the journals.”
“I’m not looking at the journals,” he said. Not with her peering over his shoulder. Her scent. The curst rustling. It wasn’t fair. She knew they needed to keep apart.
“You told me to look!” she cried. “I’ve spent hour after hour, searching through mountains of papers and books and journals and letters. Hour after hour, trying to read his tiny handwriting. You were the one—”
“To keep you busy!” he burst out. “To keep you out of my hair. I have this idiotic, pointless task—a great waste of time and money—in this miserable place, where I never wanted to be—and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”
“I was helping you!”
“Oh, yes, a great help you’ve been. If not for you I should have told my parents to go to blazes. I’d be happier starving in Egypt than living here. What do I care about their damned money? Let them spend it on my brothers. I can make my own way. But no, here I am, trying at least to do the accursed job, and do it properly, and you must nag and harass me to run off on another wild goose chase.”
“Nag and harass? You were the one—”
“It was a diversionary tactic! You of all people ought to know what that is. You do it all the time. Well, I’ve used it on you. How do you like it? How do you like dancing to someone else’s tune?”
“You—you—” She grabbed his hat, pulled it off, and hit him in the chest with it. She flung it down and stomped on it.
“Well done,” he said. “So mature.”
“If you were a man, I’d challenge you to a duel,” she said.
“If you were a man I’d shoot you happily.”
“I hate you!” she cried. “You are despicable!” She kicked him in the shins.
It was a hard kick, but he was too angry to feel it. “Splendid,” he said. “So ladylike.”
She made an obscene gesture and stormed out.
One o’clock in the morning
Tuesday 25 October
Tonight was clear, and the moon, though past its full, offered sufficient illumination for mischief makers, ruffians, and anyone who wanted to spy on them.
The only “anyone” at present was Olivia, creeping out of the castle after everyone else had gone to bed. She wore men’s pantaloons, with flannel drawers underneath. A waistcoat, coat, and a hooded, thick wool cloak offered the next layer of protection against a Scottish autumn night. She’d brought with her as well a wool blanket to protect her from the night damps.
Not that she needed it. She had her boiling blood to keep her warm.
The ghosts had gone, had they?
“We’ll see about that,” she said under her breath.
She should have bet him, that’s what she should have done, after their icily polite dinner.
They’re not gone, and I can prove it. That’s what she should have said.
And he’d say, You can’t prove anything.
Can’t I? What will you wager?
How about Castle Horrid? You can have that.
It isn’t yours to give. I’ll tell you what: If I prove the ghosts haven’t gone, you’ll stop acting like a thickheaded—oh, sorry, I forgot. You can’t help that.
“And he’d say . . .” She looked up at the north tower. Its darkened windows told her he was asleep—and she hoped he was having hellish nightmares. “And he’d say . . . What would he say?”
Never mind. She’d prove the ghosts hadn’t given up. They were merely revising their tactics. That’s what she would do.
In any case, a wager would only put him on the alert. Better to let him think she was sulking. If he’d guessed she was planning anything, he’d make a nuisance of himself.
The last thing she needed was a surly, uncooperative male getting in her way.
She hadn’t even told Bailey about her plan for tonight because Bailey would wait up for her, and Olivia didn’t know how long she’d be out. If she had to, she’d stay until first light. She had a cozy enough hiding place.
The choice of position was obvious. The broken-down watchtower in the southwest corner of the courtyard had been built precisely for observation purposes. Though it wasn’t useful at present for surveying the surrounding countryside, its doorway offered a good view of most of the courtyard while concealing her.
The only trying part was the waiting. Sitting in one place, without a pack of cards or a book, wasn’t entertaining. And sitting on a stone, even if it was a great, flat one, was comfortable only for a short time. She felt the cold through the layers of thick woolen cloak and pantaloons and flannel drawers. The wind whistled through the chinks. As time passed, the moon and stars seemed to dim. She peeped out from her hiding place.
Clouds were racing overhead on the quickening wind, filling the sky and blotting out the moon and stars. She tucked into her shelter, pulling t
he blanket more tightly about her. Time passed, the air growing colder and colder. Her limbs were stiff. She changed position.
Was that damp air she felt on her cheeks? Or was it only the chill wind? Her fingers were growing numb. The night continued to darken. She could barely make out the outlines of the courtyard.
The wind shrieked through the chinks in the stones and she could hear it sweep up piles of dead leaves and whirl them through the courtyard. She moved again, but she hadn’t enough room. She didn’t dare stamp her feet to warm them, and her toes ached with cold. Her bottom was going numb.
She thought about Lisle, and the abominable things he’d said, and what she could have said back, but that didn’t work anymore to warm her. She’d have to get up and walk about, or all her limbs would go to sleep. She started to rise.
A light flashed at the periphery of her vision. Or did it? So brief. A dark lantern? Then everything was darker than ever and the air was heavy, a cold, damp blanket.
Then she heard the footsteps.
“Mind the lantern,” said a low voice.
Clank. Thump. Thud.
“I can’t see a bloody thing. It’s raining again. I told you—”
“It’s only mist.”
“Rain. I told you— Bloody hell!”
The light flashed in Olivia’s face, blinding her.
The deeply creased and partly burnt piece of paper crept into Lisle’s mind for the hundredth time as he was on the point of dropping off to sleep.
The wobbling grid lines arranged themselves in his mind’s eye, and the tiny figures reappeared in the little boxes.
It couldn’t be a map, with no arrows or compass points.
But it might be a sort of code, or shorthand.
His brain began arranging and rearranging the lines and figures, and then it was no use trying to sleep, because he was thinking.
He opened his eyes fully, sat up, lit the candle at his bedside, and cursed.
She’d waved it in his face and he couldn’t leave it alone.
He climbed out of bed, pulled on his dressing gown, and resuscitated the fire. He took up the candle and went into the large window recess. It had at some point—by the looks of it, early in the castle’s history—been fitted out with a window seat. He’d moved a bench into it, which he used as a desk.
By day, the light was more than adequate. In the evenings, it was a pleasant place to work. When it wasn’t raining or overcast—rare occasions—he could look out at the starry sky. It wasn’t an Egyptian night sky, but it was certainly one that seemed far from civilization and all of its rules and aggravations.
He looked out and swore. It was raining again.
“This wretched place,” he said.
It took a moment for Olivia’s vision to recover. The lantern flashed again, but not in her direction. She heard clanging and the sound of voices. Something thudded to the ground. Then running footsteps.
She didn’t stop to think.
She threw off the blanket and ran after them, following the flash of the lantern, its light bouncing through the courtyard and out through a gap in the wall, bypassing the entrance, and into the road.
She was aware of the chill rain, coming down faster and harder, but the lantern flashed ahead of her like a glowworm, and the light drew her after it, down the road. Then, abruptly, it was gone. No light anywhere. She looked about her. Left, right, ahead, behind.
Nothing. Darkness. Rain, icy rain, drumming on her head and shoulders, trickling down her neck.
She looked back. She could barely make out the castle, a blurry hulk in the distance, behind the sheeting rain that was soaking through her cloak and into her coat.
No light in the windows. Nothing.
No help there.
No place to take shelter here—and what good was shelter now, even if she could find it? Her gloves were soaked through, and her hands ached with the cold.
She tried to run, but her feet were like blocks of cold stone, and her clothes were heavy with wet, and if she stumbled and fell. . .
Don’t dramatize.
Move. One foot in front of the other.
She gritted her teeth against the cold, and bowed her head and trudged back to the castle.
The door to Lisle’s room in the north tower was thick. If not for the gap at the hinge—another item to add to the list of repairs—he wouldn’t have heard the sound. As it was, he wasn’t sure he’d heard it. He moved to the door, opened it a fraction, and listened.
He heard scraping and muttering.
Then a curse. Though the voice was very low, he knew whose it was.
He took up his candle, left his room, and stepped out into what used to be the castle’s drawing room, a room above the great hall, nearly as large though not as tall. It, too, boasted a large fireplace.
Olivia knelt in front of it. She was shaking, trying to raise a spark with the tinderbox.
She looked up and blinked at the light of his candle.
“Lisle?” she whispered.
He took her in: dripping hair, dripping clothes, a puddle forming on the floor about her.
“What have you done?” he said. “Olivia, what have you done?”
“Oh, L-isle,” she said. She trembled violently.
He set down the candle. Then he bent and scooped her up. She was drenched through, shivering. He wanted to roar and rage at her, and maybe that’s what he should have done. Then someone might have heard—her maid or his valet at the very least—and hurried out to help.
But he didn’t rage at her. He didn’t say a word. He carried her into his room.
Chapter 15
Lisle set her down on the rug in front of the fire. She was shaking violently, her teeth chattering, her hands icy.
Heart racing, he tore at her dripping clothes. The heavy wool boat cloak was wet all the way through the wool lining. His hands, clumsy with fear, fumbled at the button. He couldn’t get it through the hole. He ripped it off, tore the cloak off her, and threw it aside.
Underneath she wore men’s attire. That was wet, too. He wrestled the coat down from her shoulders and peeled it down, pulling her arms from the sleeves. He threw the coat aside, and swore. Unlike the time in York, she’d worn a waistcoat this time; it was wet as well, with a line of buttons that fought being unbuttoned.
He ran to the bench, snatched up his penknife, and cut them off. He pulled off the waistcoat, then went to work on the woolen trousers. A degree less wet, their buttonholes yielded to his tugging. He peeled them off her, and swore again.
She had on flannel drawers underneath—and they were damp. Layers upon layers of outer clothing and she was wet to the skin. His heart pounded with terror and rage. How long had she stood in the downpour? What was wrong with her, to do such a thing? She’d take a chill. A fever. In the middle of nowhere, miles from a proper doctor.
He didn’t even attempt to untie the drawers. He cut the drawer strings and started pulling them off her.
“W-wait,” she said. “W-wait.”
“You can’t wait.”
“I’ll d-do it.”
“You’re shaking.”
“I’m s-so c-cold.”
He peeled them down her legs and pulled them off. He stripped her to the skin, wrapping a blanket about her as he went, vaguely aware of some reason to cover her up but not caring what the reason was.
She only sobbed, and talked nonsense: stuttered sentences she didn’t finish, obscure phrases: something about a wager and never writing letters enough and why did she keep that rubbish but Bailey understood, didn’t she?
She was delirious.
Delirium was a sign of fever. Fever boded an infection of the lungs.
Don’t think about that.
He wrapped another bla
nket about her. He stirred the fire. She was still shaking.
“I c-can’t st-stop,” she said. “I d-don’t know wh-why.”
He rubbed the blankets against her skin, trying to encourage the blood to flow, but the wool was too rough against her skin, and she winced.
He searched the room in a frenzy. He snatched up the bathing and shaving towels Nichols had laid out for tomorrow. Lisle pulled away the blanket, uncovering one arm, and rubbed it with the towel. Then on to the other. Her hands were still icy, trembling in his.
He focused on the extremities, massaging her feet next. They were icy, too. He went on rubbing, desperately, not letting himself think, only trying to get the blood flowing faster, back into her limbs.
He didn’t know how long it went on. Panic blanketed his mind.
He massaged her shoulders and arms, her legs and feet. His hands ached, but he wouldn’t stop.
He was so furiously intent on what he was doing that it was a while before he realized that the spasmodic shaking was abating. She wasn’t talking nonsense anymore. Her teeth had stopped the ghastly chattering.
He paused and looked at her.
“Oh,” she said. “I thought I’d never be warm again. Oh, Lisle. Why did you make me so angry? You know what happens when I lose my temper.”
“I know.”
“What did I think I could do, alone? But I meant to spy only. I think. It was so dark. No light in the windows. I should have made you come with me. We balance.”
She was only half making sense, but half was enough. His heart rate slowed a degree. The skin under his hands had begun to warm at last. The shivering eased further.
His mind began to quiet.
Then he saw, clearly.
Olivia, in front of the fire, wrapped in a blanket. Her clothes strewn about, in pieces. Buttons everywhere.
“Oh, Lisle,” she said. “Your hands, so warm. Your wonderful, clever hands.”
He looked down at his hands, wrapped about her lower right arm. He needed to let go.
He needed not to let go.
Instead he moved them, but more slowly, down her arm and up again. And again. And again.