by Lauren Dane
“Then she’ll hook me up with nice single boys from the neighborhood.” Ben glared at Erin. “And I’m not pretending to be interested in some random woman when the one I’m in love with is four feet away. It’s stupid.”
“Yes, it is.” She moved closer, to touch him. “But what are you going to do? This will only get worse the longer you go unmarried. We’re going to have to find a way of dealing with it in the long term, but let’s get through tomorrow first.”
Cope reached out and squeezed Ben’s forearm. “Hey, I’m sorry, man. I just wanted to give you a heads-up and get some food. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Ben sighed and kissed Erin’s forehead. “Eat. You’re right. We’ll get through tomorrow and the holidays and then we’ll figure out what to do.”
“I’m going to start cooking. Take your mom next door to your rooms.” Erin shrugged, getting up. “It’ll be a nice tour and she can get you alone.”
“I’ll just stay here to help lick the spoon.” Cope grinned, looking like a miniature version of Ben.
“Don’t lick anything else.”
“As if.”
The two brothers bickered as Erin began to chop the vegetables for the stuffing and tried not to think about what a difficult thing Ben faced.
She was laughing and sipping her second cup of coffee when Todd came through the door, talking loudly to none other than Annalee Copeland.
“Look who I found downstairs.” Todd looked around quickly, relieved nothing naked was happening, and ushered her in.
“Hello, Mrs. Copeland. Can I get you a cup of coffee?” Erin called out from her place in the kitchen.
“This is such a big, lovely place!” Annalee, all nearly six feet of her, came in and gave Erin a hug. Her hair was dark like Cope’s, but they both had her blue eyes. She was a seamstress and had a small shop in Ballard that her family had operated for two generations. Erin liked her a lot. She was open and generous, funny like Lorie, and she loved her family.
“Andrew, what are you doing here?”
Erin laughed, pouring a cup of coffee for Annalee, who thanked her.
“Free food, Mom.” He shrugged, and she rolled her eyes at her son before looking at Erin.
“He was already at my house to eat breakfast first thing.”
“That was before I went on my run.”
Annalee sighed. “I raised them all to cook, goodness knows.”
Ben came through from the rest of their newly enlarged place. He smiled when he saw his mother. “Hey!” He hugged her. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“I haven’t seen you in a while and I wanted to see this place.
Lorie said the renovations were finished?”
“I just had dinner with you on Monday.” Ben put his arm around her shoulders.
“Still.”
“You want a tour?”
Her face lit up. “Yes. Show me the place.”
Cope stood. “Me too. I haven’t seen the office space yet.”
“Come on then.” Ben looked back at Erin, who smiled, and he wondered just what he would do about the situation brewing. He’d lived with Caroline, and as far as his family knew, Greg was a tenant who lived in their mother-in-law unit. But this was different. They knew Todd and Erin were married. They knew Todd. He wasn’t sure how to broach it, not that he hadn’t thought about it nearly constantly.
“Wow, they’ve done a great job.” Cope turned around as he took in the space.
“The expanded kitchen is here.” He pointed to a state-of-the-art kitchen with marble counters, fridge drawers and all the bells and whistles you could imagine. “We’ll all move here and they’re going to rehab the rest of the apartment next. Erin will keep her music room and expand into the bedroom next door. The kitchen in there will be removed and that entire living space will be a media room with a home theater. There’ll be a library back where the master bedroom is now and a guest room.”
He had to admit the renovations had gone exceptionally well and their new living space was more incredible than he could have ever imagined. He did get the occasional twinge at how much it all cost and what a large portion of it all Erin paid for, but she’d been so excited and then had given him and Todd the if it were reversed, you’d want me to take it speech. So they’d given in but volunteered to pay for the new furniture.
“Our living room will be small for now until they’re done next door.”
“Where’s your room going to be?” his mother asked with perceptive eyes.
“Here.” He opened up French doors leading to a small living area with a couch and a television and into a bedroom with an en suite bath. They’d moved his bedroom furniture into it the day before, and he’d dashed in to rumple it a bit before his mom came in.
“Wow. Do you need a roommate?” Cope asked.
He snorted at his brother.
“This is very nice, Ben. Not as big as your old apartment or even your house with Caroline. Aren’t you a little old to rent a room in someone’s house? How are you ever going to find a woman if you live here?”
“I like it here. I love the building.” He ushered them out and across the apartment to another set of French doors. “This is our office space.” The workmen were nearly finished with it. “We’ll all work in this space instead of having to lease space downtown.” He backed out, waving at the workers.
“The main bedrooms are upstairs. A master and a room just off of that that can be a nursery someday, along with another bedroom.” The place was huge and he loved it. They’d all worked on the plans together, made their future together.
“Oh! You’ll like this, Mom.” He led them outside to the very large deck. “Erin had them build a modified greenhouse. The hot tub is in there, so the heat stays in, but the walls slide back for when the weather heats up too.”
“This is all very extensive and expensive. I guess when you’re a rockstar you can do that.” His mother smiled tightly.
“Cope, I need to talk to Mom.”
His brother’s eyes widened a moment. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then.” Cope left them alone on the balcony, and he took his mother into the greenhouse, where it was still very warm.
“Spit it out, Mom.”
“Ben, this isn’t right for you. You’re hanging on to Todd and his wife as a way to keep from moving on. You’re hiding from your future. I know this breakup with Caroline was hard. You’ve been different in the year since she left. But you can’t think living here is going to solve that.”
“I appreciate that you love me and want me to be happy. I wasn’t happy when things ended with Caroline, but not so much because she left. I wasn’t really that happy when I was with her. I seem different because I’m happy now. Can you just trust me on that?”
“Are you gay? Because if you are, that’s okay. We love you just the same.”
He smiled. “No, I’m not gay. I do like men, but I like women too. More than I like men, but anyway, this is not a conversation I really want to have with you.”
“So you’re bisexual? Then you have lots more options!”
He laughed. “Mom, truly, I have never been happier than I am right now. Never.”
“I see the way you look at her,” she said quietly and he knew.
“Who?”
“Erin. She’s a lovely woman and I like her, but she’s not for you. No good can come of you living here. You can’t love your best friend’s wife. Todd has been like a brother to you. Don’t betray him like this. You don’t want to be that person.”
He exhaled long and slow. “I would never betray Todd. Or Erin, for that matter.” He moved to look out over the city. Typical November Seattle weather; the rain spattered on the glass as he gathered his thoughts. “I have to tell you something, but I need you to know before I do that Dad would never understand. If you tell him, or Lorie or anyone else . . . What I’m going to tell you, it could hurt people. I’m asking you to keep this secret, an
d I know that’s not fair. But I’m asking anyway.”
She sat on the chair near the hot tub. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”
“I am with someone right now. With two someones.”
She blinked at him. “What do you mean? You’re dating two people and they don’t know about each other? Is one of them a boy? I know your dad is old-fashioned, but I could work on him and we could get him to accept it in time. I know we could. He loves you no matter who you love.”
He’d lucked out in the mom department. “You’re amazing, Mom, but you may not be so happy to help when I tell you the rest. I’m with Erin and Todd. The three of us are in a relationship. A committed relationship. I love Erin very, very much, which is why you see me looking at her the way I do. And Todd, he’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I live here because this is our house. I wouldn’t live anywhere else.”
She got pale. “I don’t understand. They’re married. So they keep you like a pet? To service them when they get bored?”
“Mom! Do you think I’d ever allow that? Do you think Todd would ever do that to anyone? I know you don’t know Erin very well, but she would never do that either. Obviously we can’t all three be married, but I consider Erin my wife too.”
“What about children? How will you do that? Have you even thought of this?”
“You know her child was murdered four and a half years ago, right?”
She nodded.
“She never considered having children again until Todd, and then me. If and when they come, they’ll be mine and Todd’s both. Legally, they’ll be his because he’s married to her, but we’ve spoken with an attorney about how to handle power-of-attorney and medical issues. That sort of thing. It’s not perfect, but I’ve never been happier. Not ever.”
His mother stood. “I don’t know what to say. You’re an adult and I love you. That won’t change. You’re right that your father would definitely not understand. Hell, I don’t understand. I also don’t like Erin very much right now.”
He grabbed her hand. “You can’t understand how it was for me before. I can’t explain it except to say I was alone and lonely and Erin makes me feel whole and loved. I know this is strange. I know it’s hard to accept, but don’t be angry at Erin for making me happy.”
She squeezed his hand. “I have to go. Your secret is safe with me. You can always talk to me, Ben. But I need to think. I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess.”
He walked her out, and she didn’t look at Erin as she left. “Hey, Cope, why don’t you take Mom home?”
Cope looked back at Erin, kissed her cheek and waved at Todd before meeting their mother and walking her toward the elevator.
When Ben got back, Erin looked stunned.
“You told her.”
He nodded.
“She hates me.”
“She doesn’t.” He moved to her, but she stepped back.
“She wouldn’t even look at me! We’re supposed to go over there for dinner tomorrow and you told her? Without even talking to me first? They know you. They know Todd. You’re both family. I’m not. Oh my god, what must she think about me?”
“I had to tell her, Erin.”
Todd stayed where he was in the living room but listened intently.
“She thought I was hiding from my future because I was living like a twenty-year-old in my best friend’s basement. She said she saw how I looked at you and how she worried I’d betray Todd. I had to tell someone the truth. I hate living a lie. I have this beautiful, wonderful thing and I wanted my mother to understand that. Is that so wrong?”
She sighed, the rigidity in her back relaxing a bit.
“I only told her once she promised not to tell anyone,” he explained to them both. “And she won’t.”
He walked another few steps, all his tension falling from his shoulders when she allowed him to hold her. “Please don’t be mad. I had to tell her.”
“I’m not mad. But I’m worried they’ll all hate me.”
His heart ached. “She doesn’t understand, but she doesn’t hate you.”
His mouth found hers and took it. Claimed it because she was his and he’d said it out loud. Erin wrapped her arms around his neck and held on as he possessed her, giving herself to him, soothing him even as that submission enflamed him.
“They’re nearly done next door.” Todd spoke softly and Ben pulled back.
“She won’t tell your mother,” Ben said to Todd.
“I know. And I understand why you did it. I know how hard it is for you to have to pretend to be the best friend while I get to be her husband in public.”
Erin just watched them both, her men. Christ, this was unexpected. She didn’t blame Ben for wanting to be in the open with his mother, but she cringed to think about spending the entire day with them all tomorrow and pretending his mother didn’t think she was the whore of Babylon. She’d never been ashamed of her sexuality before, but for the first time she felt embarrassed at what his mother might think. Yes, it was someone else’s hang-up, but that someone was important to her because she was important to Ben.
“Bread is rising. That’ll take a while. Stay out of everything in the fridge in here. If you’re hungry, go next door. I’m going to take a bath over in our new bathroom.”
Both men looked at her lecherously.
“Alone, you perverts.”
She gathered her clothes. She’d moved her bath stuff up there a few days prior. Important things first. She went up the stairs and headed down the hall. The new space was perfect and she loved it. The bathroom was a work of art. The sunken tub put her old one to shame. She’d hung up sconces and lit the candles in them, turning on some music and starting the water.
The bath was the place she’d always gone to think and escape her troubles. Even as a kid she’d done it, in the tiny bathtub they’d had in the house she’d grown up in and the apartments Brody could afford.
Now she could afford giant tubs and bathrooms the size of the shithole apartment they’d had in Hollywood.
She took some of the scented oil she hoarded zealously and poured it into the water and the scent of blood oranges hit the air. She’d found the stuff while in Italy and had charmed the woman who owned the small apothecary in the hill town into sending her some. A batch or three would come at random. Whenever Bartolla thought of it. But always when Erin had needed it.
Erin disrobed, slid into the silky, heated water and closed her eyes to think about everything that had happened in the last year.
She couldn’t fault Ben even though she wished he’d spoken with her first and had chosen a better time than the day before Thanksgiving. Annoyance and embarrassment surged through her and she had to breathe in deep again to find her center, to calm down. She realized she had a freedom neither of them had. Total acceptance from her family. And Todd was her husband. Everyone knew it and accepted it. But Ben had to hide and she understood his pain.
They’d started down this twisty path and she had to accept the consequences. She just hoped it didn’t end up hurting Ben or Todd, because she was pretty sure she couldn’t survive that.
She sighed and let it go. It would happen the way it happened, and in truth it was up to Ben and Todd to tell their families or not. How they might perceive her was small in comparison to how the men felt about hiding. The problem was how interconnected the Keenans and the Copelands were, but again, that wasn’t something she could do anything about except support Ben and Todd.
God, this bathtub was heaven.
There was a tap on the door and she smiled. They’d given her a good half an hour. Frankly, that showed a lot of restraint. The water was beginning to cool anyway. She was sure they’d danced around out there nervously, starting up the stairs and then going back down a dozen times.
“Yes, you can come in,” she called out, and the door opened, admitting two very lovely looking men. She stood up and enjoyed the way they watched.
“Are you mad at me?” Be
n asked, handing her a towel.
She moved to him, cupping his face with her hands. “No.” Tip toeing up, she kissed him quickly, but he didn’t want quick. His arms slid around her and held her tight as he turned the kiss into something else entirely.
He broke the kiss and turned her into Todd’s arms, where she followed happily, enjoying the difference in his kiss.
“We knew this would happen at some point,” Todd said when he pulled back.
She shrugged. “Really, I’m not the one to decide this stuff. My brothers are fine with it. I don’t have to hide it. Ben has the biggest burden here. You and Ben have to deal with the fear of your families finding out. I don’t have that. I will support whatever you decide.”
She grabbed her sweater and pulled it on as they watched her hungrily. The testosterone level in the room made her sweat more than the heat from the water had.
“Come on. We can’t start anything right now. The workers are still here and I have bread to bake.”
“I’m going to die of a toxic overload of semen.”
Laughing, she hopped up on the counter. “I just sucked your cock a few hours ago, Todd.” She pulled on one thigh-high stocking, warm cashmere, a present from the man looking at her like a very bad wolf.
He stepped to her, and her gaze snagged on the movement of his hand as he popped his jeans open and pulled his cock out, fisting it a few times.
“Perfect position. These cabinets are perfect for this. Open up.”
She scooted to the very edge and put her heels on the counter next to her hips. Yay for yoga!
Ben swore softly as she exposed her pussy to Todd, waiting for him to fill her.
Todd tested her readiness, groaning when he found her wet. The fat knob of his cock brushed against her and pressed inside quickly. The pleasure at being filled by him shot up her spine.
“Doesn’t matter when you took me last, Erin. I always want you.”
She looked into his eyes, eyes that held only her, and the swell of love nearly made her cry. “I love you,” she whispered.
“Thank god,” he said as he fucked into her body fast and hard. It wasn’t finessed, it wasn’t slow and seductive. He wanted her and he took her. Nothing was sexier.