by Roxie Rivera
His chest tightened painfully. All these years, he had been training her for this moment. He had known it was coming. This was the inevitable outcome of turning her into his little shadow, but it twisted him up inside.
Was this how his parents had felt when they had first recognized the spark of enjoyment in his eyes? Was this how his mentors and teachers had felt the first time he had taken out a mark? Proud but conflicted?
“You had your whole family taken from you. You had your childhood ripped away. What you’re feeling now—the power and the control over life and death—it’s intoxicating,” he added knowingly. “But it’s also dangerous. You can get drunk on this kind of power over other people. You can become addicted to the adrenaline. You can start to see everyone—even your friends—as disposable bags of meat and bones instead of flesh and blood people with souls.”
She nodded at his warning. “I understand.”
Dropping his hand from her shoulder, he gestured to the double doors. “Take these two to the funeral home. Krikun will be waiting for you. Run them through the furnace yourself. He can be trusted, but he’s an old man who needs his sleep. Wash the van and detail it before you drop it off. Fox will be following you all night. She’s going to kill any traffic cameras you pass and help you avoid any police checkpoints.”
“I know the drill, Big K. Stay off the toll roads. Stay away from busy areas that have multiple security cams. Use the back roads when possible and keep my head down.”
“Keep your eyes open. The city is going to be a dangerous place tonight.”
“Did you leave your gun in my backpack?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll make sure it’s cleaned and dumped on the black market before sunrise. I know someone looking to move some steel to Mexico.”
He frowned at her. “I’m sure you do.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ve told you a dozen times. It’s not like that with him. He’s just a friend. And not the kind of ‘just a friend’ you are with Holly,” she needled.
She had him there. “Be careful with that boy. Someday he’ll want more than you can give him, and he’ll start to ask too many questions.”
“You mean like Holly does with you?”
Irritation flared within him. “Don’t be a smartass, Lobo.” He pointed at the door. “Go. Get this shit done.”
She mockingly saluted him and spun on her heel to leave the salon. After watching the van leave, he returned to the supply room and gently gathered Holly up in his arms. He carried her into the office and placed her in the chair. He made a quick trip to the supply closet to move the towels used for the pallet back onto the shelves and completed a final walk-through of the salon to make sure everything was just right.
“Time to sign off,” he instructed Fox via their comms. “We’re done here.”
“I sent Sunny packing an hour ago. I’ll keep eyes on our girls to make sure they get through the city without any harassment.” Her fingertips could be heard clacking against a keyboard. “The city really needs to work on the firewalls protecting these traffic cameras. I mean, any miscreant with a keyboard and a WiFi signal could hijack them for her own nefarious purposes…”
“Try not to get arrested,” he suggested dryly.
She snorted with laughter. “These wannabe white-hats working for HPD wish they could track down a girl like me.”
“Goodnight, Fox.”
“Night, boss.”
Done with the job, he peeled off the fake moustache and stuck it in his pocket before wiping away the sticky residue clinging to his upper lip. He tugged the earbud free from his ear and slipped it into the back pocket of his jeans along with the fake ID embedded with a radio transceiver. From the other pocket, he withdrew a capped syringe, wrapped carefully for safekeeping, and the alcohol swab taped to it.
Kneeling down next to Holly’s chair, he considered her small body for a moment. She had the petite, thin frame of a gymnast or ballerina. The anti-sedative he wanted to use on her needed to be injected into a muscle with a bit of padding over it. He also needed to put it in a place she wouldn’t have an easy time seeing, just in case she bruised. A little soreness along her hip or bottom wouldn’t rouse suspicion. She could have easily bumped into something here at the salon and would think nothing of it.
Feeling like the worst pervert in the world, he shifted her in the chair and braced her body against his before tugging down the top of her pants and underwear to reveal a suitable injection site. He swabbed her skin and uncapped the syringe but hesitated a few seconds before stabbing the needle into her. He hated the thought of causing her pain and loathed himself for invading her privacy and touching her unconscious body.
There was a word for men who did things like this, and it sickened him to think he had crossed that line all in the name of saving her.
After administering the drug, he guided Holly back into a sitting position and tucked the capped syringe back into his pocket. He backed away slowly to the doorway of the office and waited for her to wake fully. It wouldn’t be long now. Ten minutes, maybe fifteen if her body was slow to react to the medication.
As he waited for Holly to rouse, he made a mental note to ask Zec to bring him another shipment of medications. The Albanian transporter had a global network that moved illicit contraband and legal goods. He was the only man Kostya trusted to get him the specific drugs he wanted from secret Russian stockpiles and not dangerous or ineffective counterfeits.
This specific drug he’d used on Holly he had also given to Lobo a few weeks earlier to help her understand the effects and how to use them to her advantage. Too little of the drug and a person would remember bits and pieces of what they’d witnessed or overheard while slipping in and out of a drowsy sleep-like state. Too much—and—well, it would be time to take a trip to the funeral home to use the furnace again.
Holly made a soft whimpering sound. Holding his breath, he watched from the shadows of the doorway as she came awake so slowly. When she started to stretch her arms high overhead, wiggling her fingers toward the ceiling, he backed away from the office until he stood at the rear doors of the salon. Reaching back, he opened and closed the doors with a loud bang.
“Holly?” He called her name loudly. “Holly, are you here?”
“In my office,” she called back in a sleepy, slightly confused voice.
He strode down the hallway to her office and stepped inside. Facing the doorway, she leaned back in her chair and rubbed her temples. Looking at him in complete bewilderment, she asked, “What are you doing here?”
“I was out with a friend. We drove by, and I noticed your car was still parked here. I asked him to drop me off. I was worried about you.” Not all of that was a lie. Not the most important part.
She inhaled a deep breath and glanced around her office. “I must have fallen asleep after Savvy left.” She yawned loudly and then made an embarrassed face. “Sorry! That wasn’t much of a cat nap, I guess. Not if I’m still this sleepy…”
“Let me drive you home. Whatever you’re working on can wait until tomorrow,” he gently ordered. With some of the sedative still circulating in her system, she was open to suggestion and easily manipulated. He wanted to walk a straight line here and reminded himself again and again to be very careful. “You need some sleep.”
Holly looked around her office and then nodded. “I think you’re right. I don’t feel safe driving.” She smiled up at him, her loopy expression betraying just how much of the drug still surged through her veins. “You’re the best neighbor ever.”
He returned her smile but inside he felt pure disgust with himself. The best neighbor ever? Hardly, he thought as he helped her close up the salon and get into the passenger seat of her sporty luxury coupe. He had actually been the one to suggest Alexei’s dealership earlier in the summer and had even helped her haggle down the price on the dream car she wanted.
“Tango red with gray leather,” she’d said again and again to the salesman. It was the
only package she wanted, and she had been so proud of herself for scoring her dream car for such a good deal.
Of course, she had no idea that he had paid for that discount the next time he’d played cards with Alexei…
“I’m pretty sure I locked the door after Savvy left,” she murmured drowsily from the passenger seat as they flew down the highway toward their West U neighborhood.
“You gave me a key.” He easily covered his mistake. “You were telling me about the security system problems last week and gave me an extra key when I offered to check on it.”
“Oh? Right,” she replied uncertainly. Rubbing her forehead, she sighed. “I really have to stop working these long hours. My brain is turning to total mush.”
You’re a fucking bastard. A real piece of shit. He had done some really terrible things in his life but slipping those drugs into Holly’s drink ranked right up there as the worst of the worst. He wasn’t used to the feeling of guilt eating away at him and didn’t like it one bit.
“You just need some rest.” He guided her car off the highway and down a side street.
“Maybe I need a vacation.” She slowly rolled her head to stare at him. “Maybe we should go on a cruise.”
“We?” He glanced at her. “Me and you?”
“Sure. Why not?”
The image of Holly sunbathing in a tiny bikini on a cruise ship deck made his stomach leap wildly. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “I’m not really a cruise kind of guy.”
She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “You’re not a cruise guy. You’re not a dog guy. You’re not a dates-your-neighbor guy. What kind of guy are you?”
He winced. She was loose-lipped because of the drug and seemed to have a bone to pick with him.
You’re not a dates-your-neighbor guy.
Where the hell did that come from?
“I told you why I haven’t cashed in the gift certificate to the shelter. I travel too much, Holly. I’m not dog owner material right now.” He couldn’t tell her that dogs barked and were nosy and liked to dig things up that he might like to keep buried.
“So, leave the dog with me when you’re out of town,” she offered helpfully. “We can be co-owners!”
The thought of owning a dog with Holly did something strange to his chest. He wasn’t sure what that emotion burning him up was. Hope? “We’ll talk it about tomorrow, okay?”
Grinning triumphantly, she poked his arm. “You big softie!”
“Holly.” He shot her an irritated look, but she just mimicked his expression in an exaggerated way before bursting into laughter. “You’re a mess,” he remarked, unable to keep a straight face as she giggled next to him. And it’s all my fault…
She leaned her head back against the seat and exhaled loudly. He pulled into the driveway of her house and pressed the garage door opener clipped to the visor. While she drew lazy shapes on the window, he checked out the garage interior and then used her house key to take a quick tour of the house, opening up closet doors and even checking the backyard. A third or fourth assassin was always a possibility.
He returned to the garage and opened her car door. “Come on,” he reached over to unlock her safety belt. “Let’s get you into bed.”
She yawned again and climbed out of the car with his help. He followed her into the house and coaxed her to eat something—a glass of lemonade from a carton in her refrigerator and a banana—before walking her back to her bedroom. It was exactly the kind of space he had always imagined for her. With the white metal bed frame and fluffy comforter, the dove gray room looked like something he’d see on the cover of Country Living while waiting in line at H-E-B.
She didn’t seem nearly as loopy, but she was still a bit unstable on her feet as she entered her bathroom. He leaned against the wall closest to her bedroom door and checked his cell phone for messages and updates from his spiders. When Holly exited the bathroom in a pair of long pajama bottoms and a loose tee, he watched her movements and tried to gauge whether she was safe to sleep alone or if he should drag a chair in here, just in case.
When she wobbled a bit, he crossed the space between them in four quick strides and slipped his arm around her waist. She sagged against him and dropped her forehead to his chest. “Sorry. I’m feeling a little dizzy.”
“I can see that.” Silently berating himself for not being more conservative with the sedative dose, Kostya carefully walked her to the bed and bent down to draw back the duvet and top sheet. He helped her into bed and then turned to switch on the lamp. “I’m going to leave this on in case you get up later.”
“Kostya?” She said his name in that soft, breathy voice that made his dick stand at attention. When she threaded her fingers around his and clasped his hand, his heart started to pound. “Will you stay with me?”
He gulped. “I’m going to crash on your couch.”
“No.” She gave his hand a tug before rolling onto her side facing the window, dragging his arm with her. “Stay here with me.”
“Holly, I don’t think—”
“I need you,” she cut him off with the three words guaranteed to keep him right there. She had him twisted around her little finger and wasn’t about to let go. Her voice muffled by a pillow, she implored, “Stay.”
“All right. I’ll stay.” He gently pulled his hand free and sat on the edge of her bed. He unzipped his boots and toed them off before reaching back to free his favorite handgun from the waistband of his jeans. He placed it on the nightstand and then ran his fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp and blowing out a noisy breath.
Leaving his jeans on, he stripped out of his shirt and socks and slipped into bed with her. This sure as fuck isn’t the way I’ve always imagined this happening…
Careful not to touch her, he hugged the edge of the bed and kept four or five inches between them. He listened to her breathing and could tell she wasn’t asleep yet. What was she thinking? Was she remembering things she had heard tonight? Was she wondering why she had fallen asleep so quickly? Or trying to remember a conversation about that key and the security system that had never taken place?
Feeling like the lowest scum, he swallowed anxiously and wiped a hand down his face. Long undercover missions had never twisted him up like this, not even when he’d been ordered to seduce his marks or coax them into relationships to get his hands on sensitive information. But lying to Holly was slowly eating him up inside like a cancer. It was gnawing on his marrow and leaving him hollow and aching.
“Are you okay?” She whispered the question, as if afraid of the answer.
“I’m fine,” he lied. Turning his head so he could stare at her back, he asked, “Are you okay?”
“I’m cold,” she admitted. Already burrowed deep under her comforter, she trembled. He was about to ask her if she wanted another blanket when she rolled over and searched his face with her questioning gaze. “Will you hold me?”
As if he could say no! He opened his arms to her and Holly squirmed into them, resting her head on his chest and curling an arm across his stomach. She let loose a contented sigh and then cuddled in closer. “You’re warm,” she said in a happy, sleepy voice. “And you smell really good!”
He bit back a laugh and brushed his fingers down the back of her head, reveling in the softness of her pale white hair. He was breaking the rules right now by holding her like this and touching her hair and caressing her back—but he didn’t care. He didn’t give a shit anymore.
I killed for you tonight.
What would Holly say if he confessed his sins? Would she love him for what he had done to protect her or would she run away in horror? What would she say when he told her that he’d asked another young woman to kill in her name?
Someday soon, the truth about the monster he was and all his lies would be forced into the open and Holly would revile him. She would curse the very sight of him and wish him dead.
So tonight? Tonight, he was going to hold the woman of his dreams, the woman he
could never have, and he was going to enjoy every fucking second of it. He would breathe in her tantalizing scent and imprint it on his brain so he would never forget it. He would memorize the gentle curve of her spine and burn the heat of her right into his fingertips.
Mine, he thought possessively. Tonight, she’s mine.
“I don’t care what Savvy says,” she murmured unexpectedly. “You’re a good man, Konstantin.”
His heart stuttered in his chest. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone had used his full name. Thirty years ago? Before he walked into FSB headquarters and pledged himself to the cause? The night his mother had kissed him goodbye before sending him away to spend time with friends in the German countryside in a dangerous bid to save his life?
As Holly drifted off to sleep, he closed his eyes and swept his fingers through her hair. A good man? No. Never.
But tonight?
Tonight, he could pretend that he was all the things Holly deserved.
Chapter Four
I WOKE TO the oddest buzzing sensation against my hip. Awash in confusion, it took me a few seconds to realize it was a vibrating cellphone. Even more strange? I could hear the unfamiliar and unexpected sound of a low, thudding heartbeat beneath my ear.
Bewildered, I blinked a few times. The sensation of warm skin under my fingertips and cheek surprised me. I lifted my head and glanced bleary-eyed around my bedroom. My brain was a jumble of memories but a few were clearer than the rest.
Kostya standing in the doorway of my office. Kostya driving me home. Kostya climbing into bed with me after I asked him to stay. Kostya holding me when I said I was cold.
Holy. Shit.
Had I really asked him to sleep with me?
Heat flared in my face and spread down my neck. We were in bed together, and I was snuggled up against him with one leg hooked over his. I worked up the courage to look at him—and my heart stuttered wildly. I’d never been this close to him. I could see the faint lines around his eyes and the stubble darkening his cheeks and chin and smell the lingering hints of eucalyptus from his aftershave.