by Jilly Cooper
JUMP!
JILLY COOPER
Contents
Cover
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Also by Jilly Cooper
Map
Cast of Characters
The Animals
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 100
Chapter 101
Chapter 102
Chapter 103
Chapter 104
Chapter 105
Chapter 106
Chapter 107
Chapter 108
Chapter 109
Chapter 110
Chapter 111
Chapter 112
Chapter 113
Chapter 114
Chapter 115
Chapter 116
Chapter 117
Chapter 118
Chapter 119
Chapter 120
Chapter 121
Chapter 122
Chapter 123
Chapter 124
Chapter 125
Chapter 126
Chapter 127
Chapter 128
Chapter 129
Chapter 130
Chapter 131
Chapter 132
Chapter 133
Chapter 134
Chapter 135
Chapter 136
Chapter 137
Chapter 138
Chapter 139
Chapter 140
Chapter 141
Chapter 142
Chapter 143
Chapter 144
Chapter 145
Chapter 146
Chapter 147
Chapter 148
Acknowledgements
About the Author
This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
Version 1.0
Epub ISBN 9781409044505
www.randomhouse.co.uk
TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS
61–63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA
A Random House Group Company
www.rbooks.co.uk
First published in Great Britain
in 2010 by Bantam Press
an imprint of Transworld Publishers
Copyright © Jilly Cooper 2010
Jilly Cooper has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBNs 9780593061534 (cased)
9780593061541 (tpb)
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
Addresses for Random House Group Ltd companies outside the UK can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk
The Random House Group Ltd Reg. No. 954009
The Random House Group Limited supports the Forest Stewardship Council (FSC), the leading international forest-certification organization. All our titles that are printed on Greenpeace-approved FSC-certified paper carry the FSC logo. Our paper procurement policy can be found at www.rbooks.co.uk/environment
Typeset in 11/12pt New Baskerville by Falcon Oast Graphic Art Ltd.
Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Mackays, Chatham, ME5 8TD
2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1
To my daughter-in-law Edwina Cooper and my son-in-law Adam Tarrant with love and gratitude for the immense kindness and encouragement they gave me while writing this book.
Also by Jilly Cooper
FICTION
Riders
Rivals
Polo
The Man Who Made Husbands
Jealous
Appassionata
Score!
Pandora
Wicked!
NON-FICTION
Animals in War
Class
How to Survive Christmas
Hotfoot to Zabriskie Point (with
Patrick Lichfield)
Intelligent and Loyal
Jolly Marsupial
Jolly Super
Jolly Superlative
Jolly Super Too
Super Cooper
Super Jilly
Super Men and Super Women
The Common Years
Turn Right at the Spotted Dog
Work and Wedlock
Angels Rush In
Araminta’s Wedding
CHILDREN’S BOOKS
Little Mabel
Little Mabel’s Great Escape
Little Mabel Saves the Day
Little Mabel Wins
ROMANCE
Bella
Emily
Harriet
Imogen
Lisa & Co
Octavia
Prudence
ANTHOLOGIES
The British in Love
Violets and Vinegar
CAST OF CHARACTERS
WOODY ADAMS
A delectable Willowwood tree surgeon.
EDWARD ALDERTON
Rupert Campbell-Black’s nineteen-year-old American grandson, a gilded brat and former flat jockey who’s spending a year at his grandfather’s yard in England to try his luck at National Hunt racing.
PARIS ALVASTON
Dora Belvedon’s boyfriend and ice-cool Adonis, now in Upper Sixth at Bagley Hall and dickering between Cambridge and RADA.
ANGEL
The youngest stable lass at Marius Oakridge’s yard, Throstledown.
ARIELLA
The new young mistress of Bluebell Hill.
CHRISTOPHER AND CHRISTINE ASHBY
Known as Chris and Chrissie. Landlord and lady of the Fox, Willowwood’s pub.
SETH BAINTON
Drop-dead gorgeous actor, known as Mr Bulging Crotchester, who with his considerably older and more famous mistress, actress Corinna Waters, lives part of the year in Willowwood in a house inappropriately called the Old Rectory. Seth and Corinna have an open partnership.
SAMPSON BANCROFT
A hugely successful field marshal of industry specializing in property and engineering. A charismatic shit, whose failing health in no way diminishes his ability to bully and control.
ETTA BANCROFT
Sampson’s delightful but dreadfully downtrodden wife.
MARTIN BANCROFT
Sampson and Etta’s self-regarding son, who gives up the City in favour of fundraising with a celebrity-tapping bias. Has houses in Chiswick and Willowwood.
ROMY BANCROFT
Martin’s even smugger wife, who makes a fetish about being a stay- at-home mum. Despite enchanting looks, an egomaniac.
DRUMMOND BANCROFT
Martin and Romy’s fiendish five-year-old son.
POPPY BANCROFT
Martin and Romy’s four-year-old applause junkie.
CARRIE BANCROFT
Martin’s sister. Workaholic – hugely successful in the City, a failure as a wife and mother. Prefers to be known by her maiden name but in reality is Mrs Alan Macbeth. Houses in Knightsbridge and Willowwood.
BERTIE AND RUBY BARACLOUGH
Bedding billionaire and his jolly wife. A devoted couple and very new racehorse owners.
DORA BELVEDON
Fifteen-year-old smart cookie. Besotted with horses, dogs and Paris Alvaston. Has a somewhat dubious ability to flog stories to the national press, redeemed by an extremely kind heart.
LESTER BOLTON
As short in inches as he is on charm. Internet tycoon specializing in porn. Has recently acquired romantic Primrose Cottage in Willowwood.
CINDY BOLTON
Lester’s child bride, an extremely successful porn star.
BRUNHILDA
An Animal Rights activist. JOHNNIE BRUTUS A narcissistic Irish jockey.
RUPERT CAMPBELL-BLACK
Owner/trainer who bestrides the racing world like a colossus. Despite being in his mid-fifties, still Mecca for most women.
TAGGIE CAMPBELL-BLACK
His enchanting second wife, an angel.
XAVIER CAMPBELL-BLACK
Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian son – a point-to-point rider.
BIANCA CAMPBELL-BLACK
Rupert and Taggie’s ravishing adopted Colombian daughter, best friend of Dora Belvedon.
ABERDARE ‘DARE’ CATSWOOD
A complacent, handsome amateur jockey with a very rich father.
JAMIE CATSWOOD
Dare’s brother, later pupil assistant to Harvey-Holden.
BLUEY CHARTERIS
Rupert Campbell-Black’s retained jockey, about to retire – every jockey in the land wants his job.
COLLIE
Marius Oakridge’s long-suffering head lad.
LADY CROWE (NANCY)
Martinet, MFH (Master of Fox Hounds) and Marius Oakridge’s most loyal owner.
MAJOR NORMAN CUNLIFFE
Retired bank manager who has wormed his way on to every committee in Willowwood. Closet letch, despite respectable exterior.
DEBBIE CUNLIFFE
The Major’s wife. A bossyboots and madly competitive gardener. Known as Direct Debbie because of her appalling lack of tact.
JOEY EAST
A wonderful builder and jack of all trades. Part of the Terrible Trio syndicate with Woody and Jase, Joey has just landed a plum job masterminding the complete gutting and rebuilding of Valent Edwards’s house, Badger’s Court.
MARY EAST
Known as Mop Idol, Joey’s very comely wife who cleans for the Travis-Locks and Seth and Corinna when they’re down in Willowwood.
VALENT EDWARDS
Brusque but intensely charismatic widower and a man of the people in his middle sixties. Ex-Premier League goalkeeper remembered for his legendary save in Cup Final. Leaving football, his hawk-like goalkeeper’s eyes have found gaps in every market, making him a major player on the world stage. Valent has caused huge excitement in Willowwood, buying the big house, Badger’s Court.
TILDA FLOOD
The village schoolmistress – excellent and loving primary teacher, whose pretty face is ruined by very buck teeth. Gagging for marriage and a family, Tilda has developed a passion for Shagger Simmons, Willowwood’s beast of a bachelor.
NIALL FORBES
Vicar of St James’s, Willowwood. In despair over his dwindling congregation and as yet undisclosed fondness for his own sex. Niall is drinking rather too much of his parishioners’ sherry.
DENNY FORRESTER
Harvey-Holden’s embattled head lad.
MARTI GLUCKSTEIN
Rupert Campbell-Black’s red-hot lawyer.
CRAIG GREEN
The village leftie – Green by name and Green by nature.
RALPH HARVEY-HOLDEN
A controversial, networking trainer, whose Ravenscroft yard lies to the north of Willowwood.
LYSANDER HAWKLEY
Rupert Campbell-Black’s assistant, brilliant at bringing on horses.
HINTON
Etta Bancroft’s gardener at Bluebell Hill.
JOSH
Handsome stable lad working for Marius Oakridge.
RAFIQ KHAN
A magnificently moody Pakistani with matchless looks and militant tendencies. After a stint in prison for suspected terrorism, where he learns to love and look after racehorses, Rafiq is trying to make it as a jockey.
BILLY LLOYD-FOXE
Ex-Olympic showjumper and much loved BBC sports correspondent.
JANEY LLOYD-FOXE
Billy’s wife, a totally unprincipled journalist.
AMBER LLOYD-FOXE
Billy and Janey’s ravishing daughter. A cool beauty determined to make it in National Hunt racing, where she is encountering bias against women jockeys.
ALAN MACBETH
Carrie Bancroft’s husband. His talent as a writer is somewhat dissipated by a thirst for alcohol, only equalled by a taste for winners. Alan’s unsung skills as a househusband, on the other hand, have contributed hugely to Carrie’s success.
TRIXIE MACBETH
Carrie Bancroft and Alan Macbeth’s long-legged teenage daughter, disastrously lacking in parental attention and totally aware of her overwhelming sex appeal.
OLD MRS MALMESBURY
Willowwood biddy who saves badgers and habitually gets the wrong end of the stick.
MICHAEL MEAGAN
One of Rupert Campbell-Black’s stable lads.
MICHELLE
A seductive, scheming stable lass at M
arius Oakridge’s yard.
SILAS ‘SHADE’ MURCHIESON
Sexy but shady arms dealer and owner with more than twenty horses in training and definitely something of the night about him.
NUALA
An Animal Rights heroine.
‘KILLER’ O’KAGAN
King of the Irish jockeys, who rules the weighing room, goes brutally to work on horses with great success and has no scruples whatsoever.
MARIUS OAKRIDGE
An obsessive, brilliant trainer, who bonds with horses but woefully lacks the small talk necessary to charm owners. Marius’s yard, Throstledown, is to the south of Willowwood.
OLIVIA OAKRIDGE
Marius’s wife and, to many, the only good thing about Marius. Olivia’s charm makes up for her husband’s lack of diplomacy as she works her backside off cherishing horses, stable jockeys and owners.
INDIA OAKRIDGE
Marius and Olivia’s five-year-old daughter.
BLANCHE OSBORNE
Sampson Bancroft’s maîtresse-en-titre.
BASIL OSBORNE
Blanche’s complaisant husband.
JOYCE PAINSWICK
Formerly Hengist Brett-Taylor’s dragon of a secretary at Bagley Hall, retired to a cottage in Willowwood and missing school life dreadfully.
JASON (JASE) PERRY
A farrier who mostly shoes race-horses, consequently best gossip and worst tipster in the world. Partner of Woody Adams and Joey East in a racing syndicate entitled the Terrible Trio, which has a good deal more fun than success.
HAROLD POCOCK
Willowwood widower and gardener to Ione Travis-Lock. Runs the allotments, which mean a lot to him, and as Tower Captain rules the St James’s bellringers.
CHARLIE RADCLIFFE
Long-suffering vet.
BONNY RICHARDS
Valent Edwards’s trophy mistress – a stunning, hugely fancied actress determined to be taken seriously, paranoid about media interest in her sex life and gold-digging ability.