by Tillie Cole
“Mae?” Cain whispered, wanting me to respond.
I shifted beneath him and laid a hand on his cheek. He nuzzled into my palm.
“Everything about us screams that we belong together: our faith, our upbringing, our interests. But that is not everything,” I whispered. “You need that raw, primal lust. That connection that you cannot describe… that incandescent, instinctive knowledge that someone is meant solely for you. Love, Cain, love is transcendent. I have that with Styx. Even if I have to spend the rest of my days here, at commune, nothing can change that, not even death itself.”
His brown eyes glistened. “I never stood a chance, did I?”
I shook my head. “We cannot fight fate, Cain. I know that now. The universe has its way of placing you where you belong. With whom you should belong.”
Cain moved from above me and kneeled on the bed. “The elders will come for you soon. Your marriage to Prophet David will happen tonight.”
I quickly sat up. “You are still going to allow that to happen?”
His head dropped. “Not if you agree to marry me,” he whispered. Cain lifted his chin, his handsome face so earnest, so hopeful.
“Cain… I cannot marry you. It is crazy to suggest such a thing. You kidnapped me!”
I felt his hand take mine and he stroked along the back with his finger. “I would never take another wife, Mae. It is our people’s way, but I could never love another as I love you. You would be it for me. You are it for me. I wasn’t raised like the rest of the brothers here at commune. I would care for you, protect you… treat you like a queen.”
“Cain…” I whispered, my heart breaking for the little boy lost sat before me pouring out his heart.
“You forget, Mae, that I am a victim of circumstance too. I was raised to inherit The Order. I have no way out either. We could be each other’s solace. Each other’s salvation. We would be bonded in the eyes of the Lord. It would be pure… It would be perfect.”
Tears tumbled down my cheeks. “I cannot stay here. There are too many nightmares of this place tormenting my mind. Too many demons disguised as ‘righteous people’ who have used me… scarred me.” He blew an exasperated breath through his nose, and I got to my knees, mirroring his position. “Tell me something.”
His expression was open, awaiting my question.
“Have you ever been part of a Lord’s sharing? Have you ever seen an eight-year-old girl raped, her legs pried apart by a bear trap because she was too scared to understand what was happening to her? Have you ever forced yourself inside a child, Cain, because you believe it will help you get closer to God and because the prophet deemed it so? Well, have you?”
He went eerily still.
“Well?” I pushed.
“Did that happen to you? Here?” he asked through clenched teeth and I frowned, unable to find my words. “Mae! Answer me! Were you… taken as a child… like… that?”
I nodded and he positively fumed. “Are you telling me you have never been in a brother-sister exchange?” I asked again, this time in disbelief.
Cain dropped his head, almost in embarrassment. “I am the heir. I remain pure.”
I thought back to the weeks we had spent together and remembered that he had never shared his bed with a woman. In fact, the only time he seemed to have taken a woman in any form was the girl that looked like me.
My gaze shot to his. “Are you a—”
“I am not ashamed, so do not dare pity me!” He cut in.
“So the woman I found you with, in your room…” I trailed off.
Cain’s shoulders slumped. “Was a lapse in judgement. A moment of weakness. I have atoned for it. Have prayed for the Lord’s forgiveness.”
“How have you atoned?” I questioned, curious.
Cain straightened and lifted his shirt to display his back. My hands flew to my mouth. “Cain, no…”
Lashes. He had taken the sin from his own flesh. Whipped himself in punishment for his moment of weakness with the girl. My fingers ran along the raised angry lash marks, now marring his once-beautiful back. The Hangmen patch tattoo was still present, Hades still staring back at me with his mocking smile. I removed my hand and he slipped down his shirt.
Cupping his face, I forced him to look at me. “Let us both leave, Cain. Let us leave this place once and for all. There is more for us outside of this fence. We can take Lilah and Maddie with us. We can escape our prison. Escape our forced destinies.”
Cain moved his hands to gently grasp my wrists, pressing a kiss to my left palm. “And where would we go?” he asked, hope clear in his eyes.
“To the Hangmen. We could explain what happened. We could—”
“Fuck, Mae! They’ll kill me. Don’t you understand the gravity of what I’ve done? I turned coat on the club. Set up Pit as the rat. Basically killed Lois, and worse than that, I took you from Styx.”
A stone-cold expression hardened his features as I shook my head in disagreement and he threw away my hands. “What am I fuckin’ trying so hard for, Mae?” he said in exasperation, a gutting pain in his deep voice. “You sold your soul to Satan when you chose him, and turned your back on the cause. You’re blinded by darkness.”
“Wait! Rider!” I shouted as he got off the bed and made his way to the door. He stopped dead and his wide back bunched.
He turned slowly… menacingly. “It’s Brother Cain, Salome, and it’s about time you learned your place! You’re a temptress, a sinner… Styx’s whore. I wash my hands of you. Sister Eve will be by shortly to prepare you for the ceremony. And this time, do not even think of running away. You will be punished… severely if you do.”
Cain stormed through the door and, with him, took my best friend Rider.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Styx
A knock sounded at my door. I didn’t answer, too lost in my own thoughts as I sat on the edge of my bed, preparing for the shit about to go down. I always got like this before we went to war, but this time, I had much more to lose.
A moment later, the door opened. Ky.
“Prez, everyone’s here. We’re all waiting for you,” he said, walking into my room.
“H-how m-many came?”
Ky stood before me, dressed in his full leathers, his long blond hair tied back, battle ready. “‘Bout four hundred.”
I raised my eyebrows, impressed that so many brothers had managed to make it here in time. Sucking in a deep breath, I got to my feet, casting one last look at my closet door. Ky followed my line of sight.
“She’ll get to wear it, Styx,” Ky stated with conviction. I stared at Mae’s vest, the one I’d had made especially for her fuckin’ tiny size, Property of Styx stitched on its back. I was gonna give it to her when the bastards burst into my room, ripping her from me.
I just hoped my VP was right.
“I’ll m-meet you out f-front,” I informed.
Ky left me alone and I move to suit up: full leathers, strapped on my holster holding my Uzis, my 9mm, my Bowie hunter, and my favorite Bundeswehr knife. I was gonna carve up a few fuckers with these, leave some lifelong smiles.
Walking to my black leather chair, I ran my hand down Mae’s leathers laid over the arm. Her Hangmen tank still smelled like her, all sweet and completely fuckin’ Mae. Taking this small piece of black cotton, I brought it to my nose and inhaled deeply before I tucked it into the waistband of my leathers.
She would be my talisman.
As I entered the yard, a sea of Hangmen on their bikes stared expectantly at me. My chapter was front and center, all waiting for my command… all waiting for me to talk.
Ky stepped beside me at the top of the stairs and asked quietly, “You sign, I translate?”
I nodded my head curtly and stepped forward, signaling with a wave of my hand for the hundreds of brothers to quiet. All I could hear were crickets. All I could see was leather and chrome. All I could feel was the python wrapped around my fuckin’ throat.
Setting aside my worries, I
lifted my hands and began to sign.
Brothers, y’all have been called here as we’re going to war. A new organization, some fucked-up extreme religious cult has been threatening this club. Threatening our name. Threatening our turf.
The Hangmen began shifting on their bike’s seats as Ky spoke my words. Teeth were bared; fists were flexing. They were pissed. Good.
The commune we’re going into is heavily guarded, some serious concentration camp shit. Acres of land. Huge perimeter fence. We got aerial shots from the senator—ain’t nothing like we’ve took on before. We go in teams. Split into chapters, work our way into the center of the commune, the stronghold. Ky has given you the entry points and maps.
The brothers nodded, assuring me they understood the plan so far.
We think there are about two thousand folks living there. More than half are women and children. Leave them the fuck alone. This ain’t no Waco massacre… unless, of course, they come at you first. We don’t know who’ll be armed until we go in. It’s a blind mission; that’s for fuckin’ sure.
The Order, as they’re known, trade guns, good quality shit from Gaza: Carbines, Jerichos, Tavor Rifles, Uzis, snipers. That’s only the ammo we know of.
That got some impressed reactions and Titus, fifty-year-old Prez from the New Orleans chapter, jerked his chin. “When we take these Bible fuckers out, what happens with the guns?”
I looked at Ky and he edged forward, answering the question. “We load up the trucks, take it to our private hangar, and split the shit evenly amongst the chapters. Good?”
Titus smiled, his full mouth of gold teeth gleaming off the compound’s floodlights. “Good.”
There’ll be guards, or disciples as they’re known, equipped, trained to fight. There’ll also be fuckin’ dicks who call themselves elders. If you can, keep them alive. Those cunts belong to this chapter.
Tank, Bull, Smiler and the Trio all smiled my way. They wanted the kills.
Whoever takes out an old dude going by the name of Prophet David, I’ll personally credit twenty grand. But, Rider, the rat who got us in this shit. He’s mine. No one touches him ’cept me. Cult name is Brother Cain. Big bastard. Brown hair. Beard.
“Any more than that?” Country, Sergeant-at-Arms from the San Antonio chapter, asked.
I nodded and my teeth began to grind. Three bitches. Stunning fuckin’ bitches. A blonde, Delilah, she goes by Lilah. Magdalene, dark hair, goes by Maddie. And…
I paused and sucked in a painful breath. Ky looked up at me, confused as to why I’d stopped signing. I looked up and stared the brothers in the eyes. Each one was willing to die tonight to bring Mae back to me. No one takes an old lady and gets away with it in this MC, no one. The brothers needed to hear this from me, needed me to tell ’em ’bout Mae. Brothers began twitching, confused at me acting weird.
“Prez? You good?” Ky asked in a hushed voice from beside me.
I walked to the front of the steps, my chapter frowning at my strange behavior. I closed my eyes and swallowed, working the python loose from my throat. It weren’t working for shit. I could get the bourbon, but it’d be no good. Not in front of all these brothers.
I thought back to what Rider’d said as I was strapped up on the gate, unable to reply, my hands tied, my voice taken away. “You’re pathetic. Can’t even find the words to speak to your woman. Not even when she’s crying for you.”
My fists clenched and my breathing came in hard pants. I opened my mouth, breathing in the humid air, but only silence came out. It only got worse the more I tried to talk. The lump at the base of my throat swelled, choking the fuck outta me. My eyes twitched; my head ticked. I was fuckin’ losing it.
Dropping my head, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a smoke. I lit up, taking a long drag. I thought of Mae and how easy it was around her, how the words just flowed. ’Bout when I sing, playing my Fender and the words just slip from my lips. I pictured Mae’s wolf eyes watching me with my guitar, her smile fuckin’ beaming with pride at me when I talked stutter-free, You did not stutter, not even once…
She was my medicine.
Fuck. Mae.
I froze when I realized I could breathe. Wolf eyes in my mind opening up my throat. My woman had done more for me in months than therapy had done in fuckin’ years.
My eyes snapped open in shock. I could swallow. If I thought of Mae, the choking lessened. Yeah, it was still there, but it was better. Maybe it was enough. Maybe it would give me the time I needed to get it done.
I realized the whole club was watching me, just waiting, eyes wide at the notorious Hangmen Mute prepping to try and talk. Letti and Beauty were hovering at the side, Letti smirking with… what? Pride? Beauty with tears streaming down her cheeks. The bitches were hurting. They wanted Mae back too.
I cleared my throat and saw Ky’s eyes widen in shock. “Styx!” he hissed.
I glanced at my best friend and held up my hand. His nostrils flared; he didn’t want me making a fool outta myself. Ky held up his hands in surrender and shook his head, stepping outta my way. He thought I was gonna choke.
Maybe I was.
I faced the brothers. Eyes twitching, I opened my defective mouth… and spoke. “Th-th-there’s al-also a bi-bitch called S-Salome. G-goes by M-Mae.” Hundreds of mouths dropped as one. I glanced down to my own club, my own brothers. The look of disbelief on their faces said it all—The Hangmen Mute was fuckin’ talking.
Breathe. Swallow. Think of Mae… Think of Mae. Imagine you’re talking to Mae, I told myself, needing to last just that little bit longer, knowing I might not be able to speak any more.
“Sh-sh—”
I stopped. Breathe, Styx, fuckin’ breathe.
“Sh-she’s m-my old l-lady.” A rumble of anger spread like thunder around the lot. “Th-they t-took her fr-from m-me… ti-tied me u-up an-and t-took her from m-me. And I f-f-fuckin’ want h-her b-back.” I lowered my head and pinched at the bridge of my nose, my stomach tight with tension. Every muscle in my body braced, hungry for war.
Breathe. Swallow. Fuckin’ rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat…
My hands curled, stiff by my sides. I snarled, anger seeping into my mind and voice.
“Y-you f-f-find h-her. Y-you k-k-keep h-her s-safe. Br-bring h-her back to m-me.”
Brothers howled. Bothers slammed their fists over their chests, signing me their support. I exhaled; my talking was done. The python wrapped itself back in its place. But I’d said my piece. I actually said my fuckin’ piece…
A rough hand slapped my shoulder. Ky.
“Fuck, Styx,” he said in a tight voice. “Shit, brother…” He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.
I pulled him into my chest by his hand, slapping his back. “W-we get her b-back,” I said only to him.
He drew back and smiled that fuckin’ cheesy Hollywood smile. “You know it.”
I made my way down the steps toward my Harley at the front, Ky following behind. Every brother slapped me on my shoulder in support. They all had my back.
Swinging a leg over my Harley, I took a deep breath. I held up my hand and pointed forward, signaling it was time to burn up road…
…A pair of wolf eyes spurring me on.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Mae
“The guard will be right outside. Do not even think of leaving this room. Am I clear, Salome?” Sister Eve glared at me, her milky eyes stern with reprimand.
I nodded meekly. She left the room, seeming quite impressed at my show of compliance.
I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection.
Déjà vu.
A floor-length sleeveless white dress. Hair down in soft curls, sections along the top of my crown pinned back by a flower garland. The smell of vanilla oil on my completely-waxed skin—but did they make a happy bride-to-be? Not at all. What I wanted to do was cry.
The padding of feet sounded outside the door and, as I turned the handle, Lilah and Maddie were already sneaking insid
e.
“Be quick,” I whispered, checking the hallway was clear of guards. My sisters ran inside and I shut the door as quietly as I could.
“Oh, Mae. You look beautiful,” Lilah whispered, as I ushered them onto my bed. Water began to fill my eyes.
“Mae, do not cry,” Maddie begged, reaching for my hand.
“I cannot marry him. I have not even spoken to him. He is old and decrepit.” My hand flew to my mouth as I choked on a sob. “They will force me to join with him. I… I cannot do it. I love Styx. I will not betray him! What am I to do?”
My sisters were sympathetic to my plight.
“There is nothing to do, Mae,” Lilah said apologetically. “You are back now. They will never let you go. You must do as they command.”
Something within me shattered with the realization. A part of me died.
I looked up and stared out of the tiny window at the setting sun. “How long do I have?” I questioned.
“Ten minutes,” Maddie whispered.
I nodded numbly. “Will you be taking me to the altar?”
“No,” Lilah answered.
I faced my sisters. “Why not?” I asked, confused.
Maddie shrugged. “We were told by Sister Eve to wait here until they come for you. We were told we will not be attending the ceremony, that we are still shunned. Banned from public events.”
I sucked in a breath through pursed lips. My Lord, I will have to go through with this hellish act alone.
Nothing was said for the full ten minutes. What was there to say?
The three of us sat in complete silence as I awaited my fate. For the full ten minutes, I thought of nothing but Styx. I wondered what he was doing right now. I wondered what they had done to him when I had been drugged. My Lord… what if they had—no! I could not think of such a thing. I focused on remembering his ruggedly handsome face, his unshaven cheeks, rough under my touch, his deep dimples that shone when he smiled, his full lips so soft when caressing me and his large hazel eyes the color of Fall.
I will see him again one day.