by Bella Andre
He’d needed her for so long and never known it.
No, that wasn’t true. He’d just never wanted to admit it. He’d been able to admit only that he enjoyed being with her, talking to her, listening to her, exploring her mind, sharing books and laughter with her.
He’d never let himself question why she brought him so much happiness, because questioning would have destroyed the life he’d so carefully built.
Only to have it implode anyway.
Tonight he was asking only for a few precious hours of joy. A few stolen moments with a woman who had never hurt him, could never hurt him. All he wanted was the chance to hear Paige’s cries of ecstasy…and to forget everything but her, for one perfect night.
“Show me,” he whispered. Her reaction to his caresses had been an epiphany. “Show me how to do that. How to let go of everything and just feel.”
“You already know how.” She took his arms in her hands, drew him up until he hovered over her.
He looked into her eyes and realized she was right. “I do.”
But only with her.
Everything he was, everything he ever wanted, everything he ever needed, came down her. To this moment when he moved inside her. To the heat of her slick skin around him. To the breathless press of his body deep into hers. To the heady sound of her gasps, her moans, her long, low sigh, as if she was finally exactly where she was meant to be.
Evan closed his eyes to feel her fully, shifting so that he grazed the spot inside that made her shiver and quake. Then her muscles contracted around him in pure heaven, and he had to see her again. Had to look into her eyes as her pupils dilated and his name fell from her lips.
His body ached for faster, harder. But he wanted to hear her scream again, to know he could make her as happy as she’d always made him.
She panted as he thrust deep, dug her fingers into his arms, rolled with his body. The muscles of his arms quivered and strained as he held them straight to drive slowly, deeply again, to caress her inside and out.
She pulled her legs up to his waist and threw her head back. “Evan,” she cried out, her body spasming around him, her nails scoring the skin on his arms.
Her pleasure broke him apart, stole the last of his self-control as her climax exploded around them both.
He saw stars. He felt bliss. He reached heaven.
All because she took him there with her.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“I can’t believe I actually screamed.” Paige laughed, her entire body brimming with joy. With ecstasy. With love. “Twice.”
Evan’s chest rose and fell beneath her ear as he cuddled her close. He’d pulled the covers over them, and his body was deliciously warm and hard against hers.
“You did scream. And I loved it. My fantasy finally came true.”
Paige knew what that meant, that Whitney had never screamed. Likely because her sister was always so worried about looking and sounding good, even during sex.
No. Paige wouldn’t let Whitney intrude on this precious moment. Wouldn’t ruin everything by comparing herself to her sister.
He pushed the tangled hair back from her face. “I want to hear you scream my name again.” He rolled her beneath him. “I want to exhaust you so that you fall asleep in my arms, and then I get to wake you up in the middle of the night and do it all over again.”
Her heart melted like a chocolate bar in the sun, and she felt positively gooey inside. For nine years, she’d dreamed of hearing Evan say words like these. Dreamed of finally telling him her feelings for just as long.
I love you.
For the first time, she thought it might almost be possible to say it.
“I want you to do that,” she said in a low voice, “but first I want to do it to you.”
Surprise had only just registered on his gorgeous face when she pushed at his chest. “Lie back.” She shoved the covers aside, and in the city lights through the window, he was so magnificent, it was hard to draw breath. “I can hardly believe it,” she found herself whispering. “That you’re here with me. That I’m here with you.”
He was already aroused again, and as she stroked his body, gliding her palm lightly over his skin from chest to abdomen, then skimming down to his thighs, he grew harder still.
“Look what you do to me.” His voice was rough. Raw. As full of need as she was.
She reveled in her joy. In the knowledge that he wanted her, really wanted her. She wasn’t just a fill-in for someone else.
He wanted her for herself.
“I want to lick you like an ice cream cone.”
His breath rushed out. “Jesus, Paige. Just hearing you say that…” She trailed her fingers up his thighs. “Have me. I’m yours.” The need—the emotion—threading through his voice was another miracle.
They’d had friendship, common interests, and like minds. Now they had this aching desire too…and a connection that ran so deep she swore it touched not just her heart, but her soul too.
His words—I’m yours—resonated through every part of her as she put her mouth on him.
“Paige.” Then he swore, and even those four letters were music.
She took all of him then, and his body quaked, his groans growing hoarse and guttural. His hips rose to meet her as she took him deeper.
Then he tangled his hands in her hair, his body moving to meet her lips as he called out her name. Shouted it. Her name, no one else’s by mistake. She was the only woman in this room with him, the only one he wanted.
And he was the only man she’d ever needed like this.
After, she climbed his body, felt his arms close around her. Then he raised a hand to take her chin in his fingers and kissed her so deeply that the room spun around her.
She smiled against his lips. “I made you shout.”
“Hell yes, you did.” He pulled the covers over their cooling bodies and drew her closer against him.
She’d never seen him this relaxed. This satisfied. And, oh, was she ever satisfied too.
“I’ve dreamed of this,” he murmured in a low voice. “Needed this. Needed you.”
“It’s all I’ve ever wanted,” she said, but when he didn’t respond, she wondered if he’d spoken from near-sleep. A place where the truth could finally come out, where his subconscious mind could finally take control for a few hours.
“You’re so sweet in my arms. So soft. So warm. I don’t want you to go.”
“I won’t.” Leaving was the very last thing she wanted.
“Just a little while longer.”
Paige was almost asleep now too. She tried to rouse, to listen to what he was saying, but it was impossible when she was exhausted not only from their beautiful lovemaking, but from the emotional angst of the preceding week.
“Just until morning.”
Morning. He was saying something about the morning. But she refused to allow real life to steal so much as one moment of the night’s fantasy. Instead, there was only this, his body against hers as he moved to his side, shifting her until her back was to his chest, one hand over her heart.
A heart that beat only for him.
* * *
He was doing it again, making her wild and crazy with his large, talented hands roaming over her body.
The morning sun tapped at her eyelids, but she didn’t want to know what time it was. Didn’t want to face what “morning” might mean.
She wanted this. His hands on her, his lips, his warmth. Wanted all the beautiful, heartfelt things he’d said last night.
I’m yours.
He skimmed his fingers across her breasts, exciting the peaks to tight buds, then down her belly and over her sex. Gently—hungrily—he pulled her leg up over his, opening her to his touch.
It was pure instinct to put her hand over his, guiding him. She loved the feel of their linked fingers, the combination of both his caress and her own.
He pressed a hot kiss to her neck. “Good morning.”
“So good,” she s
aid. More like moaned as he nipped at her neck, sending tantalizing shivers through her body.
A kernel of fear tried to bubble up, worry that this would be the last time, and she needed everything before it all went away. But she knew better. Lovemaking based on fear held no love at all. So she shoved that darkness away as she turned in his arms, wrapped hers around his neck, and kissed him deeply.
They rolled together on the bed, a passionate tangle of arms and legs, until he was sitting up in bed and her legs were wrapped around him, her arms curled at his neck.
She looked deep into his eyes and then, holding his heated gaze, she took him inside. All of him in one gloriously slick, hot thrust that stole her breath. And made everything inside her melt again.
Together they began to move, her body slowly rising on him, stroking all the nerves on the inside. His tongue entered her mouth as his body plundered hers, the pace deliciously, agonizingly slow. They rocked and rolled together, their mouths feasting on each other, arms tight, bodies fitting together like a hand and glove.
She rode him, and he took her, her breath quick as they writhed and undulated sinuously, their bodies growing slippery. Until finally the pleasure was too great, and she had to move faster, matching the rhythm of her hips to the rapid beat of her heart.
She threw her head back, dragging in air, and he bit down lightly on the soft skin between her shoulder and neck, marking her.
“Evan.” His name falling from her lips sounded wild, sexy, sultry, crazy, and so unlike her. So unlike the woman she used to be, before the greatest pleasure she’d ever known.
She heard him cry out her name, and he sounded just as raw, just as desperate as she had. Then she was beyond thinking, could feel only a million bursts of pleasure multiplying, spreading, shooting throughout her body until they became a wondrous cataclysm of ecstasy.
Until the only sound she could make was the three words she’d been holding back for what seemed like forever. They could no longer stay locked inside as she leaped from the peak and tumbled down into bliss.
“I love you.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
I love you.
They were the most beautiful words Evan had ever heard.
And the most terrifying.
He tightened his hold on Paige, their limbs still fused as they breathed with what felt like one breath.
There was no question, no doubt that what they’d shared had been so far beyond just sex. It was communion, connection, total intimacy.
But was it love?
Even as Paige lay in his arms—the one woman who would never lie to him, who simply didn’t have it in her to do so—he couldn’t shake away all the lies he’d been told too many times before in his life. Couldn’t forget how badly love could go wrong. That the people who said they loved him might eventually change their minds…and abandon him.
“It’s not a bad thing.” Her whisper was like a soft caress inside and outside. “I’ve always loved you. Since forever.”
He felt her words, felt her, in the very place he knew better than to let himself feel. No one knew better than he did that it was so much smarter, so much safer to keep the walls around his heart.
She lifted her face to his and cupped his jaw with warm hands. “I’m not asking for anything.” She stroked her thumb over his bottom lip, and he had to open his eyes to the beauty of her gaze as she opened her soul to him. “I know your world is upside down right now. I know you probably think this, us, is crazy. And I know you need time to process.”
She sounded like the psychologist she was. Except that she’d also said she loved him.
Since forever.
“I know what I feel.” Her words were soft, but steady, the way she always was. Even now, as she did the most frightening thing in the world by laying her heart on the line for him. “My love for you is steadfast. It’s not some transient thing that will be gone tomorrow. You can believe in that, even though trusting anything or anyone is hard right now.”
He should move away from her, unwrap his arms, disengage in some way.
But he couldn’t do it.
Her lips lifted in the faintest of smiles. “I’m not going to push, no matter how much I might want to. And the truth is,” she admitted, “that I do want to push. Because I’ve waited so long for you.” She shook her head. “But none of that changes the truth. Or the facts.” She held his gaze. Unwavering. “I’m here, Evan. And I love you. Always.”
His brain and his heart were both whirling. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this way before—full of so much longing, pleasure, and confusion all at the same time.
All he could latch on to was that tonight, this morning, Paige had fused all the cracks in him, stopped all his leaks. For a few precious hours, she’d made him whole again.
And when she pressed a kiss to his lips, she filled him up completely, in ways he hadn’t known anyone could. In the light, easy parts—but also down in the deepest and darkest.
“What we did was the most beautiful thing in the world.” Her lips curved, a smile of reassurance this time. For both of them. “So let’s just leave it at that for now.”
Her kisses, her body against his, her undemanding words stole all the fight out of him. He couldn’t pull away. Couldn’t block his longing, his desperate need.
“One more time,” he said. Any other words were more than he could manage. He couldn’t commit, but he couldn’t hurt her either. “Make love with me one more time before we go.”
Then he rolled on the bed with her, pinning her beneath him.
And they did the most beautiful thing in the world. Again.
* * *
Susan and Bob’s house was redolent with the scent of bacon and eggs and Susan’s special sweet milk pancakes. Tony and Kelsey were chattering away in the dining room as they set the table. Paige left Evan’s side immediately to talk to them, giving them both hugs.
He’d made love to Paige again in the shower. He couldn’t keep his hands off her. And he didn’t have a clue how the scene would play out this morning when all he wanted to do was drag her back to the hotel and taste every delicious inch of her again. But somehow, just the act of getting in the car and driving over here had shoved a wedge between them that he couldn’t pry out. And now they were walking around each other like the floor beneath their feet was made of glass.
She’d said she loved him.
But he hadn’t said it back.
She’d said she didn’t want to pressure him. And she was certainly following through with that by keeping her distance this morning.
Even as he desperately wanted the closeness they’d shared in the hotel room.
“Hey, big brother.” Kelsey hugged him. Tony clapped him on the back.
It felt good. Real. He liked them. And his gut said they liked him too. How had it happened? That he could suddenly feel like these two were family?
Yet at the same he was still so conflicted about the woman who had given birth to him. He couldn’t reconcile the two feelings.
Just like he couldn’t reconcile his need for Paige, his complete and utter desire for her, with the certainty that he should stay away for her own good.
God, how he wanted to touch her, hold her, kiss her. Right there in front of his brother and sister. In front of all his family. No matter how wrong it was. No matter how badly he could hurt her in the end. She deserved a guy who hadn’t left her hanging for nine years. A man who hadn’t picked the wrong sister. Someone whose life wasn’t a minefield littered with an almost-ex-wife—her sister, no less—and a long-lost family popping up out of the past.
“Where’s your mom?” Paige asked.
Tony hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “Just packing up. She’ll be out in a minute. Susan and Bob are cooking.”
“They wouldn’t let us help,” Kelsey said, “but we can at least set the table.”
“I better say hello.” Evan skirted around Paige to get to the kitchen door.
She didn’t lo
ok at him, but he caught her scent, the shampoo he’d washed into her hair this morning. He’d touched all those curves, tasted all that delicious skin, reveled in the feel of her. And he wanted more. Wanted to wrap his hand around the nape of her neck and drag her in for a long, drugging kiss of need and ownership.
Heading into the kitchen felt almost like running away.
“I thought you were going to make eggs Benedict,” he said, swaying with Susan in a big hug, the spatula in her hand dripping with batter.
Bob swiped the spatula out of her grip before the batter could hit the floor. “The kids wanted her special pancakes after I raved about them.”
The kids. Like they were part of the family now. He didn’t feel an ounce of resentment, only a strange mixture of amazement and pleasure.
“Let me help with that, Bob.” Paige suddenly materialized beside them and grabbed a potholder for the hot plate Bob was flipping the pancakes onto.
Evan looked at Paige, couldn’t help himself. Couldn’t help loving the smile on her face as she bantered with Bob. Or remembering the feel of her in his arms, the taste of her in his mouth. Her gaze flitted to him, held like the brief flutter of a butterfly, then flicked away again. Yet in that quick glance, he read her need, her love. And her desire to give him the space she’d promised. She was so damned loving. So beautiful, sexy. So…
He snapped back to Susan, knowing she would see the look in his eye, the way his gaze followed Paige like she was the magnet to his compass. Bracing for her censure, his gut churning—Jesus, he was lusting after his sister-in-law—all he saw were Susan’s kind, understanding eyes.
And she smiled. A smile that said she knew what he’d done with Paige last night. That she approved. Maybe even that she’d sent Paige with him last night hoping it would happen.
Where his family was concerned, it seemed he had worried for nothing. Like when he was a little boy hiding under his bed, curled in a tense, tight ball, his muscles aching, terrified of the monster who might find him that night. The fear of the beating had sometimes been worse than the beating itself.
His own fears and guilt could actually be worse than anything Susan and Bob—or any of the Mavericks—might think.