by Jill Shalvis
Harley narrowed her eyes. “Beta?”
“Well not alpha, that’s for sure. Get back to the begging.”
“Hellooooo, didn’t you hear my story? He leaned in, and I…touched him and closed my eyes and begged for the kiss.”
“Silently.”
“Yes, but he knew. He even laughed.”
“Laughed—or chuckled?”
“What’s the difference?”
“Laughing would imply he was a tease and an asshole. Chuckling softly would imply that he was as thrown as you, and is possibly just proceeding with caution since you’re not exactly an easy woman to deal with.”
Harley blew out a breath. Hard to dispute the truth. “Okay, maybe it was just a chuckle.”
Skye gave her a smug smirk.
“We’re so done talking about this.”
“Look, if you wanted a kiss, why didn’t you just grab his ears and make him kiss you, mud and all? You could have hosed each other off, and then moved to his shower, and then let the real begging begin.”
Harley, who’d just taken an unfortunate scoop of cereal, choked on it.
Skye smiled. “Look at you, all aflutter. Who’d have thought, you and badass TJ, circling each other.”
“See you’re not listening at all. We don’t even like each other.”
“Oh, I’ve been listening. But I don’t think you are. You like your comfort zone, I get it. We all get it. You’re a creature of habit, and keep your own counsel. Well, guess what? In that single thing, you and TJ are two linked souls.”
“Huh?”
Skye shook her head. “Let me simplify. You need to get laid. He’s hot as hell. By the way, he’s the opposite of beta. Honey, that man is allll alpha. There’s so much tension between the two of you that the air sizzles and crackles when you’re within a hundred yards of each other. Just do it already.”
Harley had spent much of the night imagining exactly that, remembering how he’d looked after he’d shrugged out of his outer shirt and wrapped it around her, leaving him in just a mud-spattered T-shirt, which had clung to his shoulders and abs. If it hadn’t been for the threat of Cam and Nick coming around the corner, she’d have jumped him right then and there. The only thing worse than knowing that was the fact that he’d known it, too. “If there’s any ‘doing it’ to be had,” she said. “It’ll be with Nolan.”
Skye grimaced.
“What?”
“Stop hiding behind the fantasy of being Nolan’s significant other. He’s like…Clark Kent, okay? He’ll never be your Superman. He’ll never match your passion.”
“Okay, no more Lifetime movies for you.”
“I’m serious.”
“Me, too,” Harley said. “Passion fades. How many times have Mom and Dad proven that?”
Skye shook her head. “Honey, you have been too long without a man in your bed if you’re already willing to concede passion in your life.”
Harley sighed.
“Come on, you’d walk all over Nolan and we both know it. If you’re looking for a man-made orgasm, my bet is on TJ.”
“Oh for chrissake.” Harley stood up, grabbed both their bowls, and moved to the sink. “I’m the older sister. How do you even know all this stuff?”
“We went to different high schools.”
“We went to the same high school.”
“No, you went to the Actually Learn Something High School, and I went to the Boys Are Awesome and Party Hearty High School.”
Harley laughed but Skye was right. She didn’t want to live without passion. She had lived without passion.
“Whatever you’re thinking,” Skye said, coming to her side, smiling at her. “Go with it.”
“Go to class, that’s what I’m thinking. I’m paying too much for you to be late.”
“Okay, but one more thing.” She pulled a couple of well-read paperbacks from her purse. “Pick one and take it on your hike into Desolation. Read it by your campfire. If you can tell me that Nolan makes you as hot as some of the scenes do, I’ll try to believe you.”
“What are they?”
Skye grinned. “Really hot romances. Contemporary or historical?”
“Huh?”
Skye shook her head and tossed one onto the backpack that was half packed and against the wall. “Just read. And report back to me when you get home. Thanks for the cash. I’ll pay you back.”
“Good.”
Skye hugged Harley hard. “Thanks for believing in me, Harl.”
“Always.”
Wilder Adventures sat on thirty acres of Wilder land, surrounded by 75,000 more acres of national forest. The compound consisted of the lodge, two equipment garages, and a series of eight smaller cabins. Their guests, if they’d arranged for overnight accommodations, stayed in the main lodge, which was run efficiently by Annie. All of the business equipment, of which there was a mind-boggling amount including bikes, quads, skis, snowmobiles, kayaks, boats, snowcats, and a helicopter, was handled by Nick. Each of the Wilders had claimed one of the cabins for themselves.
The start-up capital had come from Cam’s earnings as a pro snowboarder. Stone had contributed the required construction expertise. And TJ, through his years of trekking before they’d gone into business, had brought in the high-dollar clients and business knowledge.
The three of them had grown up fast and hard and without much hope. There’d never been any doubt in TJ’s mind that they’d end up dead or in jail just like the rest of the men in their family. But it’d never happened. Somehow they’d come out on top. So much so that they were pretty much paid to play for a living. Yet beneath that so-called play, Wilder Adventures was also a lot of hard work.
The offices were housed on the second floor of the lodge. At the moment, they were in Stone’s office for their weekly meeting. As usual, it was more a family gathering to bitch and tease than anything else. Stone was at his desk with Emma standing behind him, rubbing his shoulders. She was dressed for work at her medical clinic, wearing her doctor’s coat and looking official with her stethoscope around her neck, which clashed with her just-had-sex glow. Stone had the same glow as he sent her a slow, warm, lazy smile over his shoulder.
Cam was slouched in a chair in front of Stone’s desk, and he was also looking pretty damn loose, no doubt thanks to Katie, their receptionist and Cam’s bride-to-be, who was plopped in his lap.
Nick was in another chair, flipping through the latest mechanics’ magazine. Chuck was under the desk, no doubt hoping someone would drop something good to eat.
Chuck lived for food.
Her kittens were winding their way around people’s feet, having fun with shoelaces and each other.
Stone tugged the magazine out of Nick’s hands, revealing what Nick was really reading—a book of baby names.
“What,” Nick said in his defense. “Kid needs a name.”
Stone tossed the book to the desk.
Startled, Chuck ran out from beneath it, ears back. Katie cooed to her, picking her up and cuddling her while giving Stone a reproachful look.
At the cuddling, Chuck went still as stone. She still wasn’t crazy about being held, but she didn’t like to insult her human, either, so she endured Katie’s snuggling with a resigned expression, hoping she’d be rewarded with a snack.
“How about Tude?” Stone asked Nick. “Short for Attitude, ’cause any kid of Annie’s is bound to have it.”
“Can we get to business?” TJ asked.
“Sure,” Stone said. “I’ve got both good and bad news. Bad first. Goddammit.” With a pained grimace, he peeled a solid gray kitten off his leg. He lifted the little thing by the scruff of her neck and looked her in the eyes. “Watch the claws.”
The kitten batted at Stone’s nose.
Stone sighed and put her on his shoulder, where she curled up and began to purr. “TJ, your Canadian trip just got cancelled. The clients had some work stuff come up and can’t take the month off. But they forfeited their deposit with the last-mi
nute cancel, so we’re still getting paid.” Stone grinned. “Guess you’re stuck here with us for a while.”
“Shit,” TJ said.
Stone looked at him, smile fading. “Yeah, now see, I sort of thought that’d be the good news.”
“Seriously, man,” Cam said. “You’ve done nothing but trek after trek this past year. Thought maybe you’d want to hang around.”
“You can help us with wedding plans,” Katie said as if that was actually some kind of bonus. “Instead of showing up at the last minute like you’d have to do if you left.”
Which is exactly what he’d been hoping for.
Annie arrived, looking harassed. “I’m late.”
No one dared agree with her. She was temperamental in the best of times, and pregnancy wasn’t one of them. No one wanted to risk their neck, not when her apron said it all: K*SS MY *SS—Would you like to buy a vowel?
Nick pulled her onto his lap, where she snuggled in, harassed look gone, replaced by a soft smile. “How are you feeling?” Nick asked her.
“Great, but Not-Abigail would be doing better if I hadn’t eaten all the brownies I made earlier.”
Nick rubbed her belly and smiled as Annie looked around. “What’s up? I miss anything?”
“You almost missed TJ telling us what his problem is,” Cam said.
Everything looked at TJ.
“I don’t have a problem,” TJ said.
“Really?” Annie asked. “’Cause you don’t seem like yourself.”
“Of course I’m myself. Who else would I be?”
“I don’t know,” Stone said. “Maybe some guy who’s really good at shoving all his shit into a box and not dealing with it.”
“What shit? I’m fine.”
Stone coughed into his hand and said, “bullshit” at the same time.
TJ ignored him.
Annie sighed. “Told you,” she said to Nick, who nodded sagely.
“Told him what?” TJ asked.
“That you’re still on that whole don’t-care, let-nothing-penetrate campaign.”
“That’s ridiculous,” TJ said. “I care about plenty.”
“About us, yes,” Annie agreed. “But what about outside us?”
“Hell, there’s so many of ‘us’ to worry about, why do I need more?”
“You used to need more. You used to have a huge wide circle of people you cared about. Then Sam died.”
They sucked in a collective breath. Except for TJ. He didn’t breathe. Samantha James had been his college girlfriend. Supporting herself through college as a river guide, she’d brought him into her world. Unfortunately, she’d been wilder than he’d ever even thought of being, and had lived more on guts and luck than actual skill.
She’d gotten herself killed on a river trip, and though it hadn’t been TJ’s fault—hell, he hadn’t even been on that trip—it’d hit him hard because it’d been an unnecessary tragedy. If only she’d followed her brain instead of her gut, if only she’d been better prepared, if only…
He really hated if only’s. When he’d decided to stay in the world that Sam had introduced him to, he’d promised himself that he’d never put himself in an if only position. As a result, he was a far more careful, more controlled guide for it. Stone and Cam called it anal. He called it smart. “This has nothing to do with Sam.”
They all looked at him with varying degrees of concern. In general, they weren’t an overly demonstrative family, which wasn’t a surprise when one considered their childhood. Annie had done her best to help, but the truth was, she’d been barely out of her teens herself, and they’d needed a jail warden far more than they’d needed a caregiver. Still, she’d somehow pulled it off, getting the three of them into adulthood without any jail time. She hadn’t done it by being a softie. “This has nothing to do with Sam,” he insisted. “What happened to her sucks, and yeah, I think about her, but me needing to get out of here has nothing to do with her, nothing to do with any of you actually, and everything to do with me.” He just needed to go, to get as far away from that daily dose of overwhelming love and happiness soaking the entire lodge. “Until another big trip comes along, I’ll just lighten the load around here with the shorter trips, I guess.”
“Fine with me,” Cam said. “We’re overbooked, and so far the only response to our ad has been either crazy, adrenaline-rush junkies or people who lied on their app and don’t know a snowcat from a snowmobile. But now that we have you sort of captive for the next few months…”
“We’ll definitely take advantage,” Stone finished. “In fact, we have a new client, some CEO who met you on your glacier trip. He wants to take his VPs on a memorable seven-day trek out to Weststar Peak, and by memorable, he means he wants to kick the VPs’ asses. He’s asked for some video to see the landscape before he decides for sure. Cam was going to go out there today, but you can do it.”
“Fine.”
“Which leaves me free this afternoon.” Cam waggled a brow at Katie, who grinned.
Stone pulled up the schedule on the computer and they spent the next half hour reworking it, taking trips from Cam’s and Stone’s queue and loading up TJ. When they were done, TJ looked at both of his brothers. “So whose idea was it for Harley to go to Desolation Wilderness alone?”
“Alone?” Cam raised a brow. “She didn’t say anything about doing it alone when she asked for the maps.” He looked at Stone, who shook his head.
“Bad idea,” Stone said.
“Agreed,” TJ said.
“You should go with her,” Stone told him. “You’re the one looking to get out of here.”
Cam laughed at that. “Are you kidding? They’ll kill each other.”
“I’m not going with her,” TJ said. “She doesn’t want me to.”
Cam looked at him for a beat. “You still have a secret thing for her?”
“I don’t think it’s so secret,” Stone said.
“Well, me either,” Cam replied. “But I try not to give him an excuse to pound me into the ground. In fact”—he carefully scooted out of reach of TJ—“here’s what I’d do. Find a way to go with her, then wait until it gets dark. Let her get spooked by something, and when she gets scared and crawls all over you, comfort her. Then suddenly she’s no longer irritated at your presence.”
Kate was staring at him like he’d grown horns. “Let her get spooked by something? You do realize this is Harley, our close and dear friend?”
“What? He’s going to comfort her.”
“Not to mention,” Katie went on, “that the whole getting-scared scenario sounds like some cheesy made-up Penthouse ‘Forum’ fantasy.”
Stone smiled wickedly. “Honey, those things aren’t made up.”
Jesus. TJ stood up. “You’re all insane.” He shoved his fingers through his hair. “No one knows better than us exactly how dangerous it can get out there.” Hadn’t they just brought up Sam? “Things pop up, where nothing short of experience will save you.” And Harley was far shorter on experience than Sam had been.
“You know,” Cam said, watching him. “You could just tell her the truth. That you have a thing for her. Maybe she’d want you to go with her.”
Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
Annie stood up and gave TJ a long look that had him bracing for a lecture or a smack to the back of his head as she came close. One never knew with her. Instead, she pulled him in for a hard, tight hug that he endured with a sigh.
“We think you want out of here because we’re all so disgustingly happy,” she said.
“Well, you have the disgusting part right.”
“Oh, TJ.” She pressed her face to the crook of his neck and squeezed him tight, adding a little sniff that terrorized him.
“Annie,” he said helplessly. “I’m fine. I’m glad you’re all happy. You all deserve it. Christ, please don’t cry.”
“It’s the baby,” she said, muffled against him. “Not-Abigail makes me feel like crying.”
“Okay,” T
J said, carefully pulling free. “I get that you’ve all