by Jill Shalvis
you did, you’d shove me out and bolt the door.” Then he kissed her mouth, long and hard and deep, and just when she was panting for air, desperate for more, he let her go.
Legs weak, she walked into the living room and plopped onto the couch.
Silently, TJ joined her. He looked at the spot where her TV had been before she’d sold it to cover her mom’s mortgage.
“Don’t,” she said softly.
“Work for us this weekend, Harley.”
“What’s the catch?”
“No catch. We get the help we need. You get a sizeable chunk of cash.”
Ah, there it was. “So it’s a pity job.”
“Harley, there are pity dates and pity fucks, but there are no pity jobs. You’re going to work your ass off, trust me. Not to mention get some of that great escape we both find out there on the mountain that we can’t seem to find anywhere else.”
She turned her head toward him and had to admit he was right on that score. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he repeated, relieved.
She leaned back and rested her head. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”
“How’s your research going?” he asked instead of answering.
“Good. Except the second battery pack on that third camera failed, too. I knew I should have replaced it while I was out there. Also, two of the coyotes are no longer transmitting. I need to get back out there.”
“Yeah.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “That’s why I came looking for you. We got a call from the forest station out there.” Regret and unease flashed across his face and she braced herself. “They found two coyotes, shot and deserted.”
She stood back up and walked to her table. She shoved aside the bills and the stupid list and spread out the map of the entire Desolation Wilderness. Staring down at it, vision burring, legs quaking, heart aching, she drew a breath. “Where exactly?”
“Harley—”
“Show me.”
He looked at her for a long beat, then moved close, leaning across her, his long finger going to a spot on the map where two of her red data group had stopped transmitting.
Nodding, she put her finger on the spot where she and TJ had camped, then looked at the proximity of their fingers.
“Waaaay too close,” he murmured softly, and set a warm hand low on her spine. “They were yours?”
She swallowed convulsively. “I think so, yes.” She felt the intensity of his eyes on her, but she didn’t look at him. She was too busy locking her knees at the wave of pain.
“They’re not issuing any more permits for Desolation until they catch whoever’s out there with a shotgun,” he said.
There was that, at least.
“Harley? You okay?”
She nodded, then slowly shook her head. She’d been holding her breath, but the grief was catching up with her. “I don’t get the hunting thing. I mean if it’s for food, that’s one thing, but this isn’t. It’s not to protect a farm or ranch, either. It’s for sport, for cruel sport—” Her voice caught, and she stopped talking to breathe instead.
His hand was still on her back, rubbing soft, soothing circles, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world when he pulled her into his arms. Just like that she slid into his comforting embrace, and though she told herself she was strong and tough, that she didn’t cry, she felt the scalding rush of tears.
Murmuring to her softly, he tightened his arms around her and was nice enough to not mention the fact that she was making his shirt wet. They stood like that, her pretending not to cry, him letting her have the pretense, until the pain in her chest eased. She could feel the steady, calm beat of his heart beneath her ear. Her hand was over a pec, gripping his shirt, and without thinking, she smoothed the material, then let her fingers trail down, over his stomach.
His muscles leapt beneath her touch.
She looked up at him. Lifting a hand, he rubbed his thumb over her cheek, catching a stray tear.
She took a step back, and his hands fell from her.
“I can’t help but think this is somehow because of the study,” she said.
“I think it’s more likely that you’ve stumbled by accident into an area where a group of hunters have sort of staked their claim.”
“But it’s illegal to hunt in Desolation Wilderness.”
“It’s also illegal to leave your kill. Or to be out there without a permit. I doubt they’re concerned about any of it. It’s not called Desolation for nothing. The place is a graveyard this time of year.”
“What if someone went out there and scared them off?”
He stared at her. “Someone?”
“Yeah. Maybe if I made more of a presence out there—”
“No,” he said, watching her face. “Hell, no.”
“I’m going t—”
“Stay the hell away from those hunters,” he finished for her.
“Well, of course. But since I have to go back out there anyway—”
“Jesus.” He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “I’m already hating this conversation.”
“I’m not going to do anything stupid, but those coyotes are vulnerable.”
He blew out a breath and nodded. He knew that.
“I’ll help you guys this weekend,” she said. “Then I’ll go back to Desolation.”
“By that time, I’ll be in Alaska. Yeah,” he said at her start of surprise. “I caught a trip. Harley, tell me you won’t go alone.”
“Don’t worry,” she said, distracted by the fact that he’d be leaving again, and so soon. “I won’t be the stupid girl in the horror flick.”
“Promise me, Harley.”
“An easy promise to make,” she said softly, meeting his gaze, letting him see she meant it. “I promise I won’t go alone.” She opened her freezer and reached for her long-lost lover, a quart of double fudge ice cream.
“Is that dinner?”
“It’s called comfort food. After losing a boyfriend, two coyotes, and probably my job all in one fell swoop, I think I’m entitled.”
He took the carton out of her hands and stuffed it back into the freezer. “You’ll just torture yourself with another run tomorrow if you eat this.”
If she wasn’t having sex, she was damn well having ice cream. “Don’t get between me and my sugar, TJ. It won’t end well for you.”
A corner of his mouth tipped up. “I have a better way to comfort you.”
“Alcohol?”
He smiled and stepped into her again. “Something better.”
And, she had a feeling, something far more devastatingly hard to resist.
He trailed his fingers lightly up her spine, no longer comforting or sweet—which worked for her.
Without taking the time to think it through, she tugged his head down. When he was only a breath away, she paused, their breath commingling, eyes connected in a beat so charged she shivered. And then, with the anticipation humming through them, she closed the gap and kissed him. With a low groan, he took over, sweeping his tongue against hers, entangling a hand in her hair to hold her in place. His other hand curled around her hip and yanked her into him so that their bodies were touching from chest to knee, like the last two pieces of a puzzle.
A perfect fit.
Arrows of heat bolted through Harley, bouncing off all her erogenous zones, and only when she needed air did TJ gentle the kiss, then slowly pull back, dropping his forehead to hers.
“Every time,” he said in a raw voice.
Yeah. She’d have thought the one orgasm he’d given her on the mountain would hold her over for awhile, but it’d been the opposite. Her motor was going. She closed her eyes and gulped in air. After a long moment, she forced herself to take a step back and turned to brace herself on the sink.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Considering a very cold shower.”
He let out a low, ironic laugh. She heard his footsteps behind her, could feel the body heat rad
iate off him a beat before she felt him brush against her. The urge to press her bottom into his crotch was so strong she had to suck in a breath and grip the edge of the counter. But in the end, she couldn’t control herself. She wriggled, feeling his hard, hot length nestle against her.
He let out a rough, ragged breath, then leaned down and pressed his mouth to the nape of her neck. Her entire body erupted in goose bumps. She heard a shockingly needy moan and realized it was hers.
His hands slid up her arms to her shoulders, his thumbs rubbing the tense muscles there. “So tense.” He dug in a little and it was so good she moaned again.
His soft laugh huffed against the side of her throat, just beneath her jaw.
“You’re laughing at me.” Her eyes fluttered closed. “I’m melting into a puddle of goo right here and you’re laughing at me.”
“Not at you.” His tongue flicked on the shell of her ear, then danced along her skin in a tantalizingly slow motion that matched the rocking of his hips. “With you. You’re not the only one who’s…tense.”
His fingers were currently killing brain cells at an alarming rate, not to mention what that very large erection was doing to her. She opened her mouth to say something, but he had his thumbs on the nape of her neck, running them up and down her tense muscles. All she managed was a garbled moan.
When he slid those talented fingers down the entire length of her spine, she shuddered. He stopped just short of her ass, digging into the knot of muscles low on her spine. “TJ…”
“Yeah.” His mouth worked its way to that sweet spot just beneath her ear.
She could feel the stubble on his jaw, could feel his warm lips, the heat of his exhale while his hands continued to work their magic on her body. “TJ…” His fingers were beneath her shirt now, skin to skin. Her eyes actually rolled back in her head. “TJ…”
“You said that part already.”
“Yes, but your hands—I keep forgetting what I want to say.”
Then those hands slid around to her belly, and just as she had that night in Desolation, she ached, ached to feel him wrapped around her.
“Oh, God,” she whispered as his fingers slid up…and her head fell back to his chest. “I need—”
“Tell me.”
“I need—”
“This?” He cupped her breasts, his thumbs slowly rubbing over her nipples, sparking a flash fire inside her that was nearly an orgasm.
At the sound she made, he whipped her around to face him and backed her to the counter. “I’m going to ask you again,” he said, his mouth busy on her throat, his fingers on her breasts. “What’s going on with you and me?”
“Um…” God. He was hard. And she was getting wet. So wet. She and Nolan had spent plenty of time together, if not on dates, then at his shop. This overwhelming need and raw, desperate lust had never happened.
“Harley.”
“Wh-what do you think is going on?”
“Oh, no.” His breath was hot on her skin, his voice pure sex. “We both know what I want to be going on. We’re waiting on you to decide.”
CHAPTER 19
Harley knew TJ was braced for her answer. How to tell him that making the decision wasn’t the problem? Facing it was. Because if she did as she should and sent him home, she’d always wonder. And if she did what she wanted and ate him up for lunch, she was going to get good and hurt.
Yet that seemed intangible at the moment, with his hands on her, his eyes dark and sexy as he waited.
He wanted a sign.
Lifting his head, his eyes met hers, silently waiting on her to take the next step. Just one little step, that was all she had to do, and he’d get her to where she wanted to go, she knew him that much. Trusted him that much.
Through the last of her resistance came one thought—he brought what she’d been yearning for.
Passion.
He brought it without strings, and she was hungry enough for him that the promise of it overrode common sense.
“Harley?”
Into show and tell instead of words, she sank her fingers into his hair and dragged his mouth to hers, kissing him long and deep.
Apparently he got the message. His fingers tugged the cups of her bra down and stroked her bare nipples. When her legs threatened to give, TJ solved that problem by sliding a rock-hard thigh between hers.
She slipped her hands beneath his shirt and felt warm skin, hard sinew, and the beat of his heart, faster now, not as steady. Keeping her eyes locked on his, she shoved up his shirt.
Reaching up, he tore it off over his head.
Oh good Lord. If he hadn’t been holding her up, she might have slid to the floor. He was so beautifully made she leaned in and took a lick. Buoyed by the shuddery breath that escaped him, she did it again, her tongue catching on one of his nipples.
Swearing softly, he tightened a hand in her hair and lifted her head for a plunging, deep kiss as he pulled off her tank top. Lifting his head, eyes still dark and heated, he watched as his fingers trailed up her arms, then slid her bra straps from her shoulder.
She let out a shuddery breath when his lips and teeth gently nipped the skin he’d exposed. “Bedroom,” she said.
He took her hand and led her there without hesitation. Nudging her inside the room, he shut and locked the door behind him, leaning back on it to look at her from beneath sleepy, sexy eyes. “You sure?”
In answer, she let her bra fall to the carpet.
“Okay, you’re sure,” he said on a shaky breath. Pushing away from the door, he headed toward her, then nudged her onto the bed. With a knee to the mattress, he followed her down until he was over her, his forearms flat on either side of her head, his big hands on her jaw, the tips of his fingers in her hair. His hair was a sexy mess from her fingers. She took a deep breath and inhaled the scent that was TJ, all warm, heated male.
He smiled and kissed her, soft and slow at first, giving her time.
She didn’t need it.
Running her hands down his gorgeous back, she cupped his most excellent ass and pulled him in, hoping to get him hot and heavy again.
He lifted his head and raised a brow. “In a hurry?”
“As a matter of fact.”
He was smiling when he skimmed a hand down her belly, heading for her shorts, and suddenly she realized—it was broad daylight. What the hell had she been thinking? It was bright in the room. He’d be able to see every single fault on her body. “You know, I’m thinking maybe—”
He shook his head. “No thinking.”
“Yes, but it’s so light, and—”
“I want to see you.” His voice was low and husky, and as if it possessed the magic to both calm and seduce her, her body arched up into him.
His mouth was still curved in a smile as he looked deep into her eyes, a warm, sexy smile that held lots of promise as his hands came up, his thumbs caressing her jaw. “It’s going to be okay, Harley.”
“Yeah, well, you know I can’t turn my brain off. It’s a problem—”
He kissed her. Long and wet and deep, and just like that, her brain obeyed his silent but effective demand and turned right off. He kissed her for long moments, revving her up again as he held himself braced on his elbows, careful to keep his weight from crushing her.