I crack open the book and start at the beginning, the credit stuff before you ever reach the story.
We were together in July 2014. The copyright for this book is 2015 so the book was published after we met. That much of the timeline fits.
I turn the title page, coming to the dedication.
For Beauregard.
Thank you for the precious gift you gave me.
I will treasure it always.
Beauregard. She loved that fucking name. I hate it. Always have, always will. I’ve taken a lot of shit over the years because it.
My heart is slamming against the inside of my chest; there’s no doubt in my mind now. Regardless of what this story is about, these words belong to Peach.
I flip to chapter one and settle into the corner of the sectional, blanket covering my legs. Time to find out if Hede is a retelling of the best nine days of my life when I came to know something true and beautiful.
Chapter 13
Beau Emerson
The morning after I finished reading Hede, I made a beeline to Peach’s house, but she no longer lives there. I could spend time and money hunting her down, however I don’t see the need when she’ll be within my reach soon.
Excited for tomorrow, I check in at the NYC hotel and settle into my suite. Fourteen fucking months. I finally get to see my sweet Peach. Will she be as cold as last time? Or open her arms with a warm embrace?
Sleep didn’t come easily. By the time the clock flashes a decent hour to rise, I’ve had breakfast via room service and three cups of coffee.
I fear I’ll climb the walls before this signing begins.
I’m standing in a line a mile long, definitely sticking out like a sore thumb. I must be among a thousand women. And most of them are giving me more attention than I’d like. One even asked if I were a cover model. That’s not good for my plan.
The doors open and we file into a banquet room. It’s fucking chaotic. Women, with books in hand, are scampering in every direction. Reminds me of a freshly kicked ant bed.
Huge posters and tables piled high with books line the walls. Pairs of women, with a few exceptions, sit behind each table while attendees holding armfuls of books stand in line on the opposite side.
I’m grateful for the hoards of people. It’s the concealment I desire.
The map of the authors’ tables shows me A.J. Clark is in the far corner to the right.
I hang back, careful to not be seen. I don’t want to spook Peach and let her get away again.
I still can’t believe she’d have gone back to that douche. But if she did, surely she isn’t still with him.
My heart is slamming against my chest. I feel my heartbeat in my face and hear the throb of my pulse in my ears. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn my blood pressure is stroke-level high. I’m nervous.
I hang back about fifteen feet, waiting for the crowd to part so I can catch a glimpse of A.J. Clark at a distance. The crowd is thick so that doesn’t happen quickly enough to suit me. I’m impatient so I move closer.
Ahh. My sweet Peach.
I haven’t laid eyes on her for fourteen months, and I think she may have grown more beautiful while we were apart. Looking at her, I fall further in love. Fuck, I’ve missed her.
I’ve tried to convince myself I’m fine without her, but it’s a fucking lie. She’s in my veins. My bones. I ache for her.
What I’ve been doing is called existing, not living.
I move about the room for three hours, careful to remain undiscovered. Longest three hours of my life. Seeing her from afar and not being able to go to her is brutal.
The end of the signing is approaching, meaning it’s time to put my plan into action. Finally, I’m able to get into her line so we can come face to face. And she can’t run.
The woman in front of me is gushing over the main character in Hede. She’s going on and on about how much she loves him and his alpha ways. I nearly choke when she asks if his character is based on someone Peach knows.
“Ben’s personality is very similar to a man I once knew.”
“I knew it. You wrote his character too well to have been making all of that up. You lucky, lucky lady.”
Ben is very much like me but he got his happy ending with Emma Jane. I didn’t.
Peach and the woman sitting next to her are cackling when I approach. Her laughter quickly dissipates, her expression turning to stone.
This isn’t her happy face.
I hold out my book, waiting for her to take it. “I’m undecided if I want you to sign it for Beau or Ben since apparently I’m both.”
The woman by her side appears confused but takes the book from me and places it in front of Peach.
“I think we both know who I should make this out to.” She signs the book and then holds it out for me to take. I think it’s my dismissal.
“Want a picture with AJ?” her assistant asks.
“Yes. I would love that.” I’ll take any opportunity to touch her.
She stands and adjusts her dress before walking to me. I put my arm around her and inhale her fragrance. “Smile, Peach.”
The assistant snaps several pictures. “I took several so maybe one will turn out okay. I’m not the best photographer.”
She passes my phone back. “I bet you did a fine job.”
“Do you mind if I step away for a minute since no one else is in line? I have a few books I need to get signed. I promise I’ll be back to help break everything down.”
“It’s okay. I have someone who’ll be coming down to pack everything.”
The woman takes forever to gather her things. I need her to go away five minutes ago. “Be right back.”
Peach looks around as though she’s checking to see if anyone is watching us.
Why does she look so nervous? “Come to my suite when you’re finished here. Thirty-three sixty-nine.”
She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “That’s not a good idea. And I can’t anyway. I have an engagement after this.”
“Find a way to come.” I don’t want to threaten her but I will if I must. “We can talk about this in private, or we can do it in a very public manner. Your choice.”
She sighs. “It may take me a little while to get away. I’m having cocktails with some people and then I have personal business to tend to.”
I reach out to caress her face, but she steps out of my reach. “Don’t do that.”
I lower my hand. “Come as soon as you can. I’ve waited long enough.”
* * *
Thirty minutes pass. Then an hour. Now, three, and no Peach.
Fuck.
Reality sinks in. She’s stood me up. I don’t know why I’m surprised. She doesn’t like being told what to do. Shit.
I open the book she signed to me.
Beauregard,
I see your face every day.
Peach
I’m working on the third small bottle of liquor from the minibar when the tap on my door finally comes.
Fuck. She’s here. And I’m buzzed. This is not the way I planned this.
I waited more than three hours. I had given up and gotten comfortable. That includes being shirtless.
Her eyes roam my chest before looking away. “Really, Beau?”
“Sorry, but it’s been hours since I saw you. I had decided you weren’t coming.”
“I considered it but I’m here.”
I open the door, taking a step back so she can enter. When she’s inside, I embrace her. “It’s so good to see you.”
I’ve never missed anyone the way I’ve missed her.
She embraces me back and my soul jumps for joy. “I’m happy to see you.”
I release her and look at her face. “Could have fooled me.”
“You shocked the hell out of me. I was dumbfounded.”
“Come in. I’m not standing by the door to talk.” I grasp her hand to lead her into the living room of the suite.
“I can’t stay long. I have a very early flight
, and I’m not packed.”
“I’ve heard that one before.” She doesn’t get to bail on me until she hears what I have to say. She owes me more than a moment of her time. I’m not letting her out of here until I say everything that’s been burning me alive for the last year.
I gesture toward the couch and sit beside her. The chair is too far away. “It’s been a long time. How have you been?”
“Fine.” One fucking generic word is all I get?
“I think you’re more than fine. You’re quite a success.”
She shrugs. “The book has done well.”
“Hede is clearly our story . . . except they get a happily ever after. We didn’t.”
Peach sighs. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I need to know if Emma Jane’s feelings are hers or yours?”
She looks away, shaking her head.
“You’re shaking your head but I don’t know what that means.”
“You don’t get to come here and ask me that after what you did to me.”
I’m clueless. “What did I do?”
“You sent Carl into our suite while you were gone to get me ready for a threesome.”
What the fuck?
I’m stunned. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“He told me everything––how you’d groomed me all week to get me ready for it.”
I’m going to kill that bastard. “Carl Dennison is a fucking liar. I did not send him.”
“He had your keycard and used it to come into the room.”
“I lost my key. I had to go down to the front desk and get another one. That fucker must have swiped it off the table at lunch.” I move closer and cover her hand with mine. “There’s no way I would’ve shared you with anyone. I told you that.”
“I know you said that, but he told me you wanted to watch us, that you liked it that way. That it was my surprise.”
“Carl was trying to fuck you. I swear what he said was a lie. Your surprise wasn’t him. I changed my flight so we could fly home together.”
“All lies?” she whispers so softly it’s barely audible.
I grasp her face with my hands. “I told you a year ago I wanted to try. I still do.”
She places her hands on top of mine and pulls them away. “You live in a world where you chase pleasure in multiple women. I can’t be a part of that.”
“I don’t want that life anymore. I want it to be just the two of us.”
She smiles, but it isn’t a happy one. “It’s too late for that.”
She couldn’t be more wrong. “It’s not too late for us. I don’t believe that for a second.”
I kneel in front of her. “I will beg you from my knees if it’s what you want.”
Her eyes close, and she shakes her head. “Please don’t, Beau.”
She moves to get up but I stop her, my hands holding her in place, my face pressed against her thighs. “I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll be whoever you need me to be.”
She caresses her hand down the back of my head. “I would never want you to try to be anyone but yourself.”
I push her dress up and kiss her bare legs. “I love you. I want you. Only you.”
She doesn’t stop me so I push a little farther. “With all of my heart.”
I love her not only for who she is, but also for who I am when I’m with her.
“Beau.” My name’s a whimper on her lips. I don’t know if it’s intended to stop or encourage me, but I go with the latter.
I push her dress higher. And she lets me. “I’ve missed you so fucking much. You have no idea how bad.”
“Oh, God. What am I doing?” I’m barely able to decipher her words.
I put my hands on the insides of her knees and push them apart. I kiss up her inner thighs. I inhale deeply. “It’s been too long since I’ve smelled or tasted you.” Her scent has been a ghost in my haunted mind.
She’s panting when she pushes her fingertips into my hair. “We can’t do this.”
Her words say one thing while her actions say another. “Yes, we can.”
She’s trembling. “But we shouldn’t. It’s wrong.”
For me, it couldn’t be more right. “You want me to. I know you do.”
I pull her down onto the cushion and push her legs apart. I graze my fingers up and down the crotch of her panties over the outer edges of her lips. The fabric is already wet. And it’s all for me. “You want me to lick your pussy until you come in my mouth, don’t you?”
Anna James writhes beneath my touch. She turns her head, hooks her arm over her face, and growls, “Yes.”
It’s all the permission I need.
I grasp the sides of her panties and drag them down her legs. I toss them aside and spread kisses up her inner thighs. I move to her groin and the bend of her leg. My mouth caresses her everywhere from the waist down except her pussy. I want her ready to explode when I finally make it there.
She moans loudly when I lick her the first time. Feeling her. Tasting her. Hearing her. It’s almost too much. I fear my plan could backfire and I’ll be the one to detonate.
While flicking my tongue over her clit, I plunge two fingers in and out. She fists my hair, pulling lightly. “More.”
I add a third finger, giving her what she wants. “Omigod. That feels so good. It’s been so long.” Been so long since she’s had this done or done by me?
I alternate between sucking and licking Peach; I still remember what sends her over the moon. She tenses and trembles, a sure sign her orgasm is approaching. She grabs the back of my head and presses my face into her. I suck harder and release, doing it over and over to finish her off with a bang.
“Oh. Oh. Uh.” She says those words over and over while she’s coming.
She’s finished coming when her body goes limp, her legs shaking almost violently. Heavy panting is the only sound filling the room.
I move to my feet and take her hands in mine, pulling her from the couch. I cradle her face and study it. “It’s been too long since I’ve seen these beautiful blue eyes.”
I take possession of her mouth with my own, claiming it as mine, and then doing the same with her neck. Her shoulder. I want every part of her to belong to me. “I can’t wait another minute to have you.”
My hands grasp her ass and hoist her up so her legs are wrapped around me. She holds my shoulders, kissing my neck as I move into the bedroom.
We tumble to the bed, me on top. She spreads her knees wide, and I nestle between. My hips thrust between her legs as she rocks against me. We’re humping like teenagers.
I push her dress up. “I want this off you.”
She lifts her bottom so I can drag her dress up. She’s left only in her bra. But not for long. “This too. I need to see all of you.”
I press my palms to the sides of her tits and push them together. They feel so full. Are they bigger?
“Still fucking gorgeous.”
She reaches behind my neck and pulls me down for a kiss, cutting my time with her tits short.
Her kiss is hungry. She devours my mouth. My neck. My chest. “I think you want this as much as I do.”
She reaches for the button on my pants, yanking it open with one tug. “Probably more.”
No fucking way that’s possible.
I pull my shirt over my head and toss across the room. Pants and underwear next. Don’t know. Don’t care where they land.
We’re both naked, the tip of my cock rubbing her entrance. One thrust. That’s all it would take to be inside her, skin on skin with nothing between. I want that so badly. But I can’t. Not right now. I have things to get in order before that can happen.
“Be right back.” She whimpers when I pull away. It’s sexy as fuck.
I go to my suitcase to grab the box of rubbers I brought with me in case our reunion went well. I tear one off and toss the remaining ones on the nightstand. I’ll be needing more later; one won’t be enough. It never was with us.
I move over her after my cock is clad in latex. “I want to be inside you without one of these. I’m going to do that one day very soon.”
“You already have. You just don’t remember it,” she whispers so softly I barely hear.
“We’ve never fucked without a condom. I would remember that.” It would be etched on my brain.
She bites her lip, trying to disguise a smile threatening to spread. “Yeah, okay.”
She grabs me behind my neck, pulling me down for another kiss. Her legs are spread wide, ready to take me inside. “I’m giving myself to you tonight. Take any part of me you want. I’m all yours.”
I want to fuck her mouth. Her pussy. Her ass. I want to claim it all for myself again but first I just want to love her. “Let’s start with making love.”
She puts her hands on my forehead, pushing my hair away, and spreading kisses all over my face. “I’ve imagined this so many times, but the real thing is so much better.”
My cock is positioned at her entrance when I lower myself. I want our bodies pressed together when I enter her. Closer than close with nothing between.
She’s drenched, and I slip in easily. I thrust deep, closing my eyes and relishing in the squeeze of her body around my cock. I want to savor her for a minute before I start moving.
My arms are framing her head inside the pillow. I kiss the side of her neck, moving upward until my mouth hovers over her ear. “We belong together, Peach. I hope you know that.”
She wraps her legs around me and squeezes. “Fuck me, Beau. Hard. Please. It’s what I need.”
No way I can deny her, so I guess we’ll save making love for later.
I rise to my knees and grasp her around her thighs. “I’ll do anything you ask of me, Peach.”
While holding her in place, I thrust hard. I do it several times, each plunge causing her to loudly gasp. “Is that what you want?”
“Harder!”
I grasp her ankles and move them to my shoulders. “You like it deep, too, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
She wants intense, she’s getting it. I hold on to her thighs, sinking hard and deep. It feels fantastic but it’s tiring as fuck so I take her legs down and move over her again. I don’t stop when I’m tired. I stop when I’m done.