.jpg)
by Maya Banks
Ari frowned. “I sense a but coming.”
Beau nodded. “We’re in a bit of a quandary. The problem is we don’t know where your parents went missing. We know nothing at all, so we don’t even have a starting point. But Ramie seems to believe that if you can think of something that was a particular favorite of your parents, something they would have touched frequently and left strong mental impressions on as well as physical, that she may be able to open the pathway. But she wanted me to make it clear to you, that although she is going to try everything she can and exhaust all possibilities, she doesn’t want you to get your hopes up and set yourself up for horrific disappointment and despair if this doesn’t work.”
Ari’s mind was already working furiously, drifting momentarily away from Beau as she concentrated hard on possibilities. She ignored the last, because she wouldn’t allow herself to contemplate, even for a moment, that Ramie would fail. She had to succeed. Or Ari truly would shatter, and she may never recover or be whole again. The only thing that was holding her sanity by the thinnest of threads was the hope of getting her parents back. If that was taken away from her . . . She physically shuddered, knowing that she would simply fall apart.
Beau’s vehement swear filtered through her scattered thoughts and she glanced up, puzzled over what could be wrong. He got off the bed and stalked to the bathroom, returning a moment later with a soft, warm washcloth, and then carefully wiped at her nose and mouth.
When he pulled the washcloth away and she saw bright red blood, she frowned.
“But, Beau, I wasn’t using my powers. Honest. I was merely thinking—concentrating hard—and trying to focus.”
But guilt crept over her shoulders, gaining a tight hold on her throat because she’d left out the more frightening turn her thoughts had taken, which was very likely the cause of her bleed.
“Apparently that’s enough. You’re in a very weakened state, Ari. You incurred what I believe has to be a psychic overload yesterday. I’ve never seen you that wrecked after using your powers. I imagine this is simply residual damage, not yet fully healed areas of your brain, and any overexertion of your mind could trigger a bleed, even a small one.”
She shrugged as though she didn’t care. And she didn’t. She wanted to get back to her parents and the fact that Ramie had agreed to help.
But, in deference to Beau’s concern, she did at least attempt to calmly sort through memories, mementos and any object that her parents would have both loved enough to touch often frequently.
It seemed there were simply too many. Pictures, photo albums, but none that really stood out. And she wanted to provide Ramie with something that offered the best opportunity to pick up a thread to her parents.
And then it simply came to her, slipping in with little fanfare. But it was so obvious that she berated herself for not having thought of it first.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. “Of course!”
“What?” Beau asked urgently. “Did you think of something?”
“My lovies.”
He gave her a look of confusion. “Your lovies?”
She smiled, once again leaving the here and now as she relived all the moments over the years. The sacred place her lovies occupied, because it was through those adored stuffed animals that her parents had first discovered her powers.
She’d kept them with her, though when she’d still lived with her parents they had a place of honor on one of the shelves in the living room and both parents often picked them up, soft smiles appearing on their faces as they lost themselves momentarily in those memories of so long ago.
“They were my favorite stuffed animals in the world. Even at just nine months old I was cognizant of them. They were my comfort items but my mother would never leave them in the crib with me because she worried they were a choking hazard. Apparently I was not pleased with this and was able, even as a baby, to summon them from across the room so they floated to my crib and dropped within my reach.”
Beau shook his head. “That’s incredible.”
“Imagine my parents’ shock,” she said dryly. “They had to come to terms when I wasn’t even a year old yet that I was different, and as such, I wouldn’t be able to lead a ‘normal’ life. And it altered their lives as well. They made many sacrifices for me, adjusting their own lives to revolve around mine and my needs. I always came first with them, which is why I have to find them. I owe it to them. To myself. To do whatever is necessary, even if it means sacrificing my own life to get them back.”
His expression immediately blackened, his hold on her hand nearly crushing.
“You will not die,” he said harshly, but vulnerability had flashed in his eyes before he could call it back.
“I don’t want to die,” she said softly, to reassure him. “I have so much to live for. I’m only saying that if it ever came to that—and I trust you and DSS to ensure that it never comes to that—for me it is an easy choice. One I wouldn’t have to ponder, consider or have to talk myself into. They’re too important to me and I can’t imagine my world without them in it.”
“You need to realize that they feel the same about you. Imagine how they’d feel, knowing that you sacrificed your life so they could live. Do you think they’d be grateful? Do you think they could possibly live with themselves? It’s not something they’d ever recover from and get over, Ari. It would devastate them.”
There was a long pause, his breath coming in long bursts on the heels of his impassioned statement. Then he looked her directly in the eye.
“It would devastate me.”
Her heart turned over in her chest. Love, so much love filled her until she was nearly bursting with it. With the need to tell him. To share that one piece of herself that she’d held back from him. But now simply wasn’t the time. They had a task to complete. The single most important event in her life.
“We need to get those lovies,” Ari said. “As quickly as possible. I don’t want to wait. Not a single minute more than is absolutely necessary. If Ramie is willing—and is prepared—please ask her if we can do this today. As soon as we retrieve the stuffed animals.”
“Whoa,” he said, holding up his hand. “There is no we in this equation unless that we applies to me, Zack, Dane, Eliza and a number of other DSS recruits.”
She frowned. “But you don’t know where they are and I do. It just makes sense that I go with you to get them. If you have so many people lined up for this job then surely we’ll be well protected. And you seem to forget that I’m pretty badass myself,” she added with a twinkle in her eyes replacing her frown of disagreement.
Beau sighed. “Where are they, Ari? The house that was already compromised? Because they’ll most certainly have it staked out just in case we’re stupid enough—and it appears we are—to return to the place you were damn near abducted from.”
She smiled. “They aren’t there. My father never stays in the same house but for a few months at the most, so I keep things that are important to me with me at all times. But I have an apartment—owned by my father—but it’s not in my name. The building can’t be traced back to him because it’s registered to a company that doesn’t exist, although a paper trail indicating they are indeed a thriving business was created. I doubt they know about my apartment, and if they do, then they would have had to have been watching me for a good while. Because I never drive straight from work to my apartment. I’m well versed in how to lose a tail and the habit is so ingrained in me, courtesy of my father, that I never deviate from it.”
Beau shook his head, muttering, but he didn’t look at all surprised by the meticulous fail-safes her father had put into place.
“Now when do we leave?” she asked eagerly.
Beau sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face in resignation. “We leave as soon as I alert the others of the change in plans, which will precipitate a whole new level of protection because we were not planning to bring you along. I would have felt much better if you and Ramie had remained here so we
could be assured of your safety.”
“You can adapt on the fly,” she said cheerfully. “I’ve seen you in action. This should be a breeze for you.”
He reached for her, framing her shoulders and looking directly into her eyes, a veritable storm of emotion swirling chaotically in his.
“You don’t get it, Ari. If you were any other client, I’d be cool under pressure, and yes, our motto is change, adapt and overcome at any cost. But you aren’t just another client. And therein lies the problem. Because if something happens to you, I can not be held responsible for my actions. Because I’d unleash hell itself if it meant getting you back. And if the unthinkable happened and I lost you . . .”
He had to break off momentarily as emotion, so thick and tangible, seemed to clog his throat, making it impossible to articulate the turbulence of his thoughts and his realization that it was entirely possible he could lose her.
“I’d never survive, Ari. Do you understand that? I would never survive losing you.”
She stared at him in shocked realization. There was so much unguarded vulnerability there for her to plainly see. There was a physical, all too real ache in her heart almost to the point of discomfort. She even lifted her hand to rub absently at her chest, though the ache was deep. So deep that there was no way to ease it.
There was no effort to hide the rawness of his feelings from her. The tension—and sincerity—emanated from him in tangible waves that she could feel, almost touch. They brushed over her ears and rapidly absorbed into her very soul.
He may not have voiced those words, the words she so very much wanted to hear. But in a moment of clarity, she realized he didn’t have to. Didn’t need to in order for her to understand, to believe. She felt his love, and that was infinitely more precious than hearing words—just words. Words without actions—proof—were meaningless. And his every action, reaction, his every word and his body language was not of a man who had only passing interest in a woman. Or considered her a temporary fling, one that he could walk away from with ease. Nor a woman that his heart, mind, his soul weren’t solidly invested in.
He may not have said I love you. But he didn’t have to. Not anymore. Her insecurity over those three words evaporated and simply lifted away. Because he’d said them in every other way possible without ever giving voice to the sentiment.
And that was more than enough proof—reassurance—that he felt for her absolutely everything she felt for him. That he, in fact, returned her love. Fiercely. Without hesitation, no second-guessing.
Two halves of an incomplete whole, empty and aimless, searching for that perfect match, had finally come together in a seamless, perfect, no longer separate heart and soul.
Because now they were complete, and their souls were merged, becoming one, never to bear the heartache of separation or experience that feeling of emptiness and hollowness.
Perfection. Sweet, utter perfection. And at last, it was hers—theirs.
She could wait for the words. In his own time, he would give them to her. But it didn’t mean she wouldn’t give them to him.
TWENTY-FOUR
THE atmosphere in the SUV carrying Beau, Ari, Zack, Eliza and Dane was silent and tense. Beau had insisted Ari be seated in the middle row so she wasn’t a vulnerable target from the windshield or the panel of glass on the liftgate on the back of the SUV. His hand was gripping hers tight enough to make her wince, but she uttered no protest, realizing that he was truly terrified that something would happen to her despite the extensive planning and security measures that had been taken to prevent such a thing from occurring.
Another vehicle shadowed the vehicle bearing Beau and Ari, with five more highly skilled DSS operatives, whose acquaintance Ari hadn’t made. But if they were indicative of the rest, she knew she was in good hands.
Caleb had remained behind with Ramie at Beau’s insistence, though Caleb had been extremely reluctant to let his brother go off without him. Despite Caleb’s intimidating demeanor, Ari could see the true love and concern reflected in Caleb’s eyes when he looked at or spoke to his brother. For that alone, she could forgive any rudeness he had shown her in the past.
They pulled up in the private parking lot across the narrow street separating it from the skyscraper that jutted into the sky, seemingly piercing the stars. They’d pulled the building schematics and opted not to risk the elevators since it would be easy enough to shut them down, trapping the occupants between floors and making them sitting ducks.
Which meant a long-ass hike up twenty-three flights of stairs. She knew Beau was skeptical that she was physically capable of accomplishing such a feat, not because he didn’t believe her strong or in shape, but simply because the events of the last couple of days, the multiple psychic bleeds and bouts of debilitating headaches had taken their toll.
She wasn’t sure she was up to the task, but she was determined to push past any pain or exhaustion and in no way slow them down. She knew it was imperative that they got in and out as quickly as possible, avoiding detection. Ideally they wanted to slip in unnoticed and avoid any potential confrontation. The idea of them engaging the enemy and one of them—any of them, even the men she hadn’t met—getting hurt or killed made her sick to her stomach. She didn’t want to be responsible for yet more blood and violence. She’d had enough to last a lifetime, and if she never had to face it again, it would be too soon.
They’d all worn dark clothing, blending seamlessly into the night as they moved stealthily to the fire escape behind the building and the entrance to the stairs.
Dane issued a series of hand signals she didn’t understand, but evidently his men did. And he must have stationed two men at the back entrance to stand guard and watch for any potential danger because the two men melted away into the darkness, rifles up, handguns at their side.
Dane posted another man at the door leading from the stairwell into the building. He locked it, preventing anyone from entering from the inside, but then took up a post to the side that the door opened up to so he would be obscured and would have the element of surprise.
Ari hadn’t been nervous before. She was too excited over the possibility of Ramie being able to locate her parents. She had utter confidence in Ramie and her abilities. But now, as they rapidly ascended the stairs on soft feet, no sound emanating from the specialized military-issue boots that were specifically designed to be soundless, as Beau had explained when he’d laced up the pair he’d slid onto Ari’s feet, her nerves began to make themselves known.
Unease skittered up her spine, wrapping around her chest, constricting and squeezing until her heart began to race under the restraint. She inhaled silently through her nose, sucking in deep, silent breaths and letting them out the same way so she risked no sound of her fear escaping her mouth.
She was protectively positioned between Zack in front and Beau behind her with Dane leading the way and Eliza taking position behind Beau, bringing up the rear. The operatives that had taken the other vehicle had been strategically positioned at various points, every angle carefully considered from the eyes of someone wanting to penetrate and gain access to the group.
She knew they would have no care for the men risking their lives to protect her. Their sole focus was her. An incessant prayer quickly became a mental chant, repeating in an endless cycle in her mind, as she pleaded with God to protect them all. To side with good so they prevailed over evil.
She prayed that they would be successful and would return—every one of them, not a single man sacrificed in their bid to aid her—safe and sound, that they’d encounter no resistance so they could get back to Ramie with haste so that she could attempt a miracle.
Her fingers curled into determined fists as they reached the eighteenth floor and she felt the first sign of fatigue and the beginnings of a burning sensation on the stitched wound on her side. Her ribs, which until now had not given her a single twinge of discomfort after the second day of taking it easy, suddenly made it known that they were in fact b
ruised and tender and that she was working them way too hard.
She would not slow them down. She would not be the reason for any delay. A delay that could prove fatal.
Gritting her teeth and mentally blocking the pain, she increased her pace, keeping her head bent so no one would be able to see her fatigue and distress. Thank God no one present was psychic and could pick up her thoughts or she’d be totally busted, though Beau did have an uncanny way of picking up on her slightest discomfort or worry.
Shit. The warm slide of blood registered but before she could hurriedly wipe it away with the back of her sleeve—thank God it was black—it dripped onto the step below her in a large circle. Worse, it dribbled in a line to the next step. She hastily wiped the blood and then used her cuff to do a more thorough clean so she didn’t miss a spot.
She should have known that Beau wouldn’t miss it. For once, could he just not be so damn observant? He should be focused on their objective. Not her.
But when he jumped a step so he was no longer behind her but on the same step, keeping pace with her, he reached over, jerking her head around even as they climbed, and stared hard at her features with eyes full of concern.
The only thing working in her favor was the strict need for silence and she could tell it was killing Beau to have to remain quiet and not reprimand her for not schooling her thoughts more. But it was hard when her mind was a veritable beehive of activity. Terror—not only confined to her parents—occupied and consumed her every thought. Particularly when they were sneaking up to her apartment, not knowing if they’d be ambushed at any time. Or what awaited them in her apartment.
Finally they reached her floor and not a moment too soon because Ari was ready to wilt. She was grateful that Dane directed them all to flatten themselves against the wall on the same side as the door and she was granted a short reprieve to catch her breath and try to block the pain.