by Anna Zaires
“Oh, no, you don’t,” he growls, and in the faint light from the window, I see the dark glitter of his eyes. “You don’t get to deny me this, to deny me anything. I own you . . . every inch of you.” He presses forward, his massive cock forcing me open as he whispers harshly, “If you don’t relax that ass, my pet, you’ll regret it.”
I shudder with perverse arousal, my nails digging into his chest as the tight ring of muscle gives in to the merciless pressure. The burning invasion is agonizing, my insides roiling as he pushes in deeper and deeper. It’s been months since he’s taken me like this, and my body’s forgotten how to handle this, how to relax into the overly full sensation. Squeezing my eyelids shut, I attempt to breathe through it, to remain strong, but tears, stupid, betraying tears, come anyway, trickling out from the corners of my eyes.
It’s not the pain that makes me cry, though, or my body’s twisted response to it.
It’s the knowledge that my punishment isn’t over, that Julian still hasn’t forgiven me.
That he may never forgive me.
“Do you hate me?” The question escapes before I can hold it back. I don’t want to know, but at the same time, I can’t bear to keep silent. Opening my eyes, I stare at the dark figure above me. “Julian, do you hate me?”
He stills, his cock lodged deep within me. “Hate you?” His big body tenses, his lust-roughened voice filling with disbelief. “What the fuck, Nora? Why would I hate you?”
“Because I miscarried.” My voice quavers. “Because our child died because of me.”
For a second, he doesn’t respond, and then, with a low curse, he pulls out, making me gasp in pain.
“Fuck!” He releases me, moving back on the bed. The sudden absence of his heat and his heavy weight over me is startling, as is the light from the bedside lamp he turns on. It takes a moment before my eyes adjust to the brightness and I make out the expression on his face.
“You think I blame you for what happened?” he asks hoarsely, sitting back on his haunches. His eyes burn with intensity as he stares at me, his cock still fully erect. “You think it was somehow your fault?”
“Of course it was.” I sit up, feeling the stinging soreness deep inside, where he was just buried. “I’m the one who wanted to go to Chicago, to go to that club. If not for me, none of this would’ve—”
“Stop.” His harsh command vibrates through me even as his features contort with something resembling pain. “Just stop, baby, please.”
I fall silent, staring at him in confusion. Wasn’t that what this whole scene was about? My punishment for disappointing him? For endangering myself and our child?
Still holding my gaze, he takes a deep breath and moves toward me. “Nora, my pet . . .” He takes my face in his large palms. “How could you possibly think that I hate you?”
I swallow. “I’m hoping you don’t, but I know you’re angry—”
“You think I’m angry because you wanted to see your parents? To go out dancing and have fun?” His nostrils flare. “Fuck, Nora, if the miscarriage is anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I shouldn’t have let you go to that bathroom on your own—”
“But you couldn’t have known—”
“And neither could you.” He takes a deep breath and lowers his hands to my lap, clasping my palms in his warm grasp. “It wasn’t your fault,” he says roughly. “None of it was your fault.”
I dampen my dry lips. “So then why—”
“Why was I angry?” His beautiful mouth twists. “Because I thought you wanted to leave me. Because I misinterpreted something you said to your parents tonight.”
“What?” My eyebrows pull together in a frown. “What did I— Oh.” I recall my offhand comment, born of fear and insecurity. “No, Julian, that’s not what I meant,” I begin, but he squeezes my hands before I can explain further.
“I know,” he says softly. “Believe me, baby, now I know.”
We stare at each other in silence, the air thick with echoes of violent sex and dark emotions, with the aftermath of lust and pain and loss. It’s strange, but in this moment, I understand him better than ever. I see the man behind the monster, the man who needs me so much he’ll do anything to keep me with him.
The man I need so much I’ll do anything to stay with him.
“Do you love me, Julian?” I don’t know what gives me the courage to pose the question now, but I have to know, once and for all. “Do you love me?” I repeat, holding his gaze.
For a few moments, he doesn’t move, doesn’t say anything. His grip on my hands is tight enough to hurt. I can feel the struggle within him, the longing warring with the fear. I wait, holding my breath, knowing he may never open himself up like this, may never admit the truth even to himself. So when he speaks, I’m almost caught off-guard.
“Yes, Nora,” he says hoarsely. “Yes, I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts. I didn’t know it, or maybe I just didn’t want to know it, but it’s always been there. I spent most of my life trying not to feel, trying not to let people get close to me, but I fell for you from the very beginning. It just took me two years to realize it.”
“What made you realize it?” I whisper, my heart aching with relieved joy. He loves me. Up until this moment, I didn’t know how desperately I needed the words, how much their lack weighed on me. “When did you know?”
“It was the night we came back home.” His muscular throat moves as he swallows. “It was when I lay here next to you. I let myself truly feel it then—the pain of losing our baby, the pain of losing all those other people in my life—and I realized I’d been trying to protect myself from the agony of losing you. Trying to keep myself from loving you so it wouldn’t destroy me. Except it was too late. I was already in love with you. I had been for a long time. Obsession, addiction, love—it’s all the same thing. I can’t live without you, Nora. Losing you would destroy me. I can survive anything but that.”
“Oh, Julian . . .” I can’t imagine what it took for this strong, ruthless man to admit this. “You won’t lose me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know you’re not.” His eyes narrow, all traces of vulnerability fading from his features. “Just because I love you doesn’t mean I’ll ever let you go.”
A shaky laugh escapes my throat. “Of course. I know that.”
“Ever.” He seems to feel the need to emphasize that.
“I know that too.”
He stares at me then, his hands holding mine, and I feel the pull of his wordless command. He wants me to admit my feelings too, to bare my soul to him as he’s just bared his to me. And so I give him what he demands.
“I love you, Julian,” I say, letting him see the truth of that in my gaze. “I’ll always love you—and I don’t want you to ever let me go.”
I don’t know if he moves toward me then, or if I make the move first, but somehow his mouth is on mine, his lips and tongue devouring me as he holds me in his inescapable embrace. We come together in pain and pleasure, in violence and passion.
We come together in our kind of love.
* * *
The next morning, I stand next to the runway and watch as the plane carrying my parents home takes off. When it’s nothing more than a small dot in the sky, I turn to Julian, who’s standing beside me holding my hand.
“Tell me again,” I say softly, looking up at him.
“I love you.” His eyes gleam as he meets my gaze. “I love you, Nora, more than life itself.”
I smile, my heart lighter than it’s been in weeks. The shadow of grief is still with me, as is the lingering feeling of guilt, but the darkness no longer clouds everything. I can picture a day when the pain will fade, when all I’ll feel is contentment and joy.
Our troubles aren’t over—they can’t be, with us being who we are—but the future no longer frightens me. Soon, I’ll need to bring up the pretty doctor and Peter’s plan for revenge, and at some point later, we’ll have to discuss the possibility of another child and
how to deal with the ever-present danger of our lives.
For now, though, we don’t need to do anything but enjoy each other.
Enjoy being alive and in love.
Epilogue
Julian
Three Years Later
“Nora Esguerra!”
As the president of Stanford University calls out her name, I watch my wife walk across the stage, garbed in the same black cap and gown as the rest of the graduates. The robe billows around her petite frame, hiding the small, but already visible bump of her stomach—the child we both eagerly await this time.
Stopping in front of the university official, Nora shakes his hand to the sound of applause and then turns to smile for the camera, her delicate face glowing in the bright morning sun.
The flash goes off, startling me even though I knew it was coming.
Catching myself clutching the gun at my waist, I force my hand to uncurl and move away from the weapon. With a hundred of our best guards securing the field, my gun isn’t necessary. Still, I feel better having it on me—and I know Nora is glad her semi-automatic is tucked inside her purse. Though the opening of her second art show in Paris went off without a hitch last year, we’re both more than a little paranoid today, determined to do whatever it takes to ensure the safety of our unborn daughter.
Another flash goes off beside me. Glancing at the seats to my right, I see Nora’s parents taking pictures with their new camera. They look as proud as I feel. Sensing my gaze on them, Nora’s mother looks in my direction, and I give her a warm smile before turning my attention back to the stage.
The next graduate is already up, but I don’t notice who it is. All I see is my pet, carefully making her way down the left side of the stage. The leather folder with the diploma is in her hands, and the tassel on her cap is hanging on the other side of her face, signifying her new diploma-recipient status.
She’s beautiful, even more beautiful than at her high school graduation five years earlier.
As she makes her way through the rows of graduates and their families, our eyes meet, and I feel my heart expanding, filling with the mixture of dark possessiveness and tender love she always evokes in me.
My captive. My wife. My entire world.
I will love her to the end of time, and I will never, ever let her go.
~The End~
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While Hold Me concludes Nora & Julian’s story, there will be plenty of books with other characters coming your way. If you’d like to be notified when the next book is out, please sign up for my new release email list at www.annazaires.com.
If you enjoyed this trilogy, you might also like Mia & Korum’s story. Please click HERE to check it out. Additionally, if you like audiobooks, please click HERE to check out this series and our other books on Audible.com.
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And now please turn the page for a little taste of Close Liaisons (the start of Mia & Korum’s story) and some of my other works.
Excerpt from Close Liaisons
Author’s Note: Close Liaisons is the first book in my erotic sci-fi romance trilogy, the Krinar Chronicles. While not as dark as Twist Me, it does have some elements that readers of dark erotica may enjoy.
* * *
A dark and edgy romance that will appeal to fans of erotic and turbulent relationships . . .
In the near future, the Krinar rule the Earth. An advanced race from another galaxy, they are still a mystery to us—and we are completely at their mercy.
Shy and innocent, Mia Stalis is a college student in New York City who has led a very normal life. Like most people, she's never had any interactions with the invaders—until one fateful day in the park changes everything. Having caught Korum's eye, she must now contend with a powerful, dangerously seductive Krinar who wants to possess her and will stop at nothing to make her his own.
How far would you go to regain your freedom? How much would you sacrifice to help your people? What choice will you make when you begin to fall for your enemy?
* * *
Breathe, Mia, breathe. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a small rational voice kept repeating those words. That same oddly objective part of her noted his symmetric face structure, with golden skin stretched tightly over high cheekbones and a firm jaw. Pictures and videos of Ks that she’d seen had hardly done them justice. Standing no more than thirty feet away, the creature was simply stunning.
As she continued staring at him, still frozen in place, he straightened and began walking toward her. Or rather stalking toward her, she thought stupidly, as his every movement reminded her of a jungle cat sinuously approaching a gazelle. All the while, his eyes never left hers. As he approached, she could make out individual yellow flecks in his light golden eyes and the thick long lashes surrounding them.
She watched in horrified disbelief as he sat down on her bench, less than two feet away from her, and smiled, showing white even teeth. No fangs, she noted with some functioning part of her brain. Not even a hint of them. That used to be another myth about them, like their supposed abhorrence of the sun.
“What’s your name?” The creature practically purred the question at her. His voice was low and smooth, completely unaccented. His nostrils flared slightly, as though inhaling her scent.
“Um . . .” Mia swallowed nervously. “M-Mia.”
“Mia,” he repeated slowly, seemingly savoring her name. “Mia what?”
“Mia Stalis.” Oh crap, why did he want to know her name? Why was he here, talking to her? In general, what was he doing in Central Park, so far away from any of the K Centers? Breathe, Mia, breathe.
“Relax, Mia Stalis.” His smile got wider, exposing a dimple in his left cheek. A dimple? Ks had dimples? “Have you never encountered one of us before?”
“No, I haven’t,” Mia exhaled sharply, realizing that she was holding her breath. She was proud that her voice didn’t sound as shaky as she felt. Should she ask? Did she want to know?
She gathered her courage. “What, um—” Another swallow. “What do you want from me?”
“For now, conversation.” He looked like he was about to laugh at her, those gold eyes crinkling slightly at the corners.
Strangely, that pissed her off enough to take the edge off her fear. If there was anything Mia hated, it was being laughed at. With her short, skinny stature and a general lack of social skills that came from an awkward teenage phase involving every girl’s nightmare of braces, frizzy hair, and glasses, Mia had more than enough experience being the butt of someone’s joke.
She lifted her chin belligerently. “Okay, then, what is your name?”
“It’s Korum.”
“Just Korum?”
“We don’t really have last names, not the way you do. My full name is much longer, but you wouldn’t be able to pronounce it if I told you.”
Okay, that was interesting. She now remembered reading something like that in The New York Times. So far, so good. Her legs had nearly stopped shaking, and her breathing was returning to normal. Maybe, just maybe, she would get out of this alive. This conversation business seemed safe enough, although the way he kept staring at her with those unblinking yellowish eyes was unnerving. She decided to keep him talking.
“What are you doing here, Korum?”
“I just told you, making conversation with you, Mia.” His voice again held a hint of laughter.
Frustrated, Mia blew out her breath. “I meant, what are you doing here in Central Park? In New York City in general?”
He smiled again, cocking his head slightly to the side. “Maybe I’m hoping to meet a pretty curly-haired girl.”
Okay, enough was enough. He was clearly toying with her. Now that she could think a little again
, she realized that they were in the middle of Central Park, in full view of about a gazillion spectators. She surreptitiously glanced around to confirm that. Yep, sure enough, although people were obviously steering clear of her bench and its otherworldly occupant, there were a number of brave souls staring their way from further up the path. A couple were even cautiously filming them with their wristwatch cameras. If the K tried anything with her, it would be on YouTube in the blink of an eye, and he had to know it. Of course, he may or may not care about that.
Still, going on the assumption that since she’d never come across any videos of K assaults on college students in the middle of Central Park, she was relatively safe, Mia cautiously reached for her laptop and lifted it to stuff it back into her backpack.
“Let me help you with that, Mia—”
And before she could blink, she felt him take her heavy laptop from her suddenly boneless fingers, gently brushing against her knuckles in the process. A sensation similar to a mild electric shock shot through Mia at his touch, leaving her nerve endings tingling in its wake.
Reaching for her backpack, he carefully put away the laptop in a smooth, sinuous motion. “There you go, all better now.”
Oh God, he had touched her. Maybe her theory about the safety of public locations was bogus. She felt her breathing speeding up again, and her heart rate was probably well into the anaerobic zone at this point.
“I have to go now . . . Bye!”
How she managed to squeeze out those words without hyperventilating, she would never know. Grabbing the strap of the backpack he’d just put down, she jumped to her feet, noting somewhere in the back of her mind that her earlier paralysis seemed to be gone.