Chapter Eight
Shannon paced. It left her unsettled to be alone inside Anton’s home without him there after that werewolf woman had shown up. She’d studied the window and the area outside it but there wasn’t a way to leave without dropping a good fifteen feet onto the pavement below. It would probably be painful when she landed if she tried to escape through that exit.
The door beeped and she spun in fear and frantically glanced around, searching for a weapon.
Anton stepped inside when the door swung open. He frowned at her, paused, and then quietly closed it firmly behind him.
“Did you find them? Is the problem handled? Can I go now?”
“No to all your questions.” He watched her with those sexy eyes. “We should talk.”
“I really don’t see a reason for that. I should leave.”
“That’s not happening anytime soon. I have some of the pups looking for the ones who visited your apartment.” He withdrew his cell phone from his back pocket to place it on top of the table inside the door. “They will call me when they’ve located them.”
“Why are you being so stubborn?”
“I could lie but I don’t want to. I’m not ready to let you go.”
Shannon’s heart started to pound. “Why not?”
“You know why.” He reached for his waist, grabbed two handfuls of his shirt, and pulled it up to reveal his lean, fit, tan abdomen. “We’re attracted to each other.” He tore the material over his head, tossed it to the floor, and reached for his belt next.
“Speak for yourself,” she lied. She couldn’t help noticing his broad shoulders or those muscular arms. He had an incredible body. The best she’d ever seen. Of course, she remembered, he’s a werewolf who probably stays fit by running around in fur. The thought threw cold water on her libido, a reminder of how different they were.
He bent, tore off his boots, and straightened, wearing just his jeans. “I thought we could talk and get to know each other better.”
“I’m not having sex with you.”
He stared at her. “Did I say you had to?”
“No but you’re staring at me as though I’m a pork chop while you’re removing your clothes. You look hungry.”
A grin curved his lips and he licked them. “You are tasty.” His focus lowered to her thighs. “But you’re more like dessert to me than dinner. Sweet and sinfully tempting.”
Her cheeks flamed. “You’re being crude by reminding me of that. But I guess, as a player, you talk to women like that often.”
All traces of humor disappeared from his features. “You really think I’m one?”
“Aren’t you? Let’s see. Your father sets up women to come fuck you every day. If the shoe fits, Anton…”
“Don’t bait me, kitten.”
“Don’t call me that.”
They watched each other until he sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Good. Great. Let me walk out of here and we won’t have to speak ever again.”
“It’s my duty as the future alpha to find a mate. The only way to do that is through spending time and having sex with females. I’ve been groomed my entire life to take this path. I have an older brother from a different mother but he’s a half-breed. He refused to take the lead position when our father steps down. I never had the choice he did, with his human blood.”
“Hear that?” She tilted her head. “Is that a violin playing?”
He growled. “That’s heavy metal from the bar below us. I’m assuming you’re being a smartass.”
“I actually don’t hear any music, and you bet I’m being flip. Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? You made your bed—and shared it a lot. If you want to get laid, find someone else. I’m not your type.” She paused. “I’m not opening myself up to that kind of pain when I know tomorrow you’ll just move on to the next person without even giving me a second thought.”
“That won’t happen.”
“Right. I can’t have sex with someone without feeling more than the sensation of their hands on me.” She hesitated. “I’m being honest here, so listen closely. I was starting to feel things for you.” She hated to tell him the truth but it would be worse if she didn’t because he might keep trying to seduce her. “I really liked you.”
“I knew that the second I smelled your pain. It wouldn’t have hurt you otherwise, when you learned about the other women.” He took a few steps closer. “Hurting you isn’t something I want.”
“Then put your shirt back on and stay away.”
“I can’t.” His features softened. “I want you too much.”
“You fuck women to see if you can mate with them. That would definitely leave me out of the running.” She backed up until she found the corner of the room. “Stop it,” she hissed when he stalked forward.
He paused. “I admit that it would be a shock if we turned out to be mates. My family would certainly never see that one coming. Hell, my parents would be horrified if they knew I wanted you, kitten. Your puma blood, even as faint as it is, would be a nightmare situation for them if something serious grew between us.” He chuckled. “Yet, spending the rest of my life with you doesn’t sound so bad.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“It’s emotions and chemistry combined. We’ve got that going.”
Her heart raced and her breathing increased. Tears filled her eyes and she hated it. “Please don’t do this.”
All trace of amusement left him. “Don’t do that. Don’t cry.”
“Don’t hurt me then.”
“You think I’m going to force you?”
“I…” She licked her lips. “I don’t know, but when we touch, weird stuff happens to me. Just back off.”
“What happens?” He watched her but didn’t draw any closer.
“Just stuff.” She refused to cry.
His features softened further, and so did the look in his eyes. “Kitten,” he murmured.
“Stop that!”
He growled softly and suddenly dropped to his knees before her. Just feet separated them and he stared at her. “Come here. At least allow me to hold you. I’m groveling. I’ve never done that for a woman before. I can smell your pain again and I can’t take it.”
She pressed against the cool wall. “No. Keep your hands to yourself.”
“Talk to me then. Am I threatening from here?” He sat back on his calves, spread his thighs, and planted his big hands on his knees. “What happens to you when we touch? We’ll start there.”
Shannon refused to tell him.
“I’ll start then. At first I felt this huge wave of protectiveness when I held you. When I realized you were puma, I fought my wolf, who wanted to toss you away from me, but then it accepted you after a few deep breaths. I wanted you, and so did the wolf, Shannon. You make me ache with need. I want to breathe in your scent and touching you affects me so deeply it’s a little frightening for me. I’ve never backed away from a willing woman before but I was afraid I’d hurt you. I’d do anything to avoid that. I’m even willing to protect you against me.”
“Nothing has changed then.” She glanced down at his lap and then back up. “You’re still huge.”
“I’ve had time to cool down and know what to expect this time. I’ll be patient. I won’t take you the way I would a bitch. You’re not one. You’re delicate and precious.”
“Precious?” Her eyebrows shot up.
He actually blushed. “Yeah. I said it. I’ve never felt this way about a woman before. It’s not bullshit or a line. I’m confused as hell but I’m here trying to figure this out. I don’t run away when something scares me.” He gave her a meaningful look.
“You think I’m cowering in a corner out of fear?”
He sighed. “The wall doesn’t need to be held up.”
“I’m confused but mostly I know I’m vulnerable. I gave up dating, Anton. It never worked out, no matter how hard I tried. After a few failed relationships, I just stopped trying
to have one. It wasn’t worth the heartache.”
“I don’t plan to break your heart and I know the truth about you. I think you’re beautiful, intelligent, funny, and I enjoy spending time with you. I find it sexy that you’re part puma.”
“That makes it worse,” she admitted. “We haven’t even gone on a date but we know there can’t be a future for us. You’re a werewolf and I’m part cat. The two don’t mix.”
“I would have to disagree with that statement. There’s something strong between us, a pull we shouldn’t deny. I am nearly obsessive about you and you’re jealous over the idea of me with someone else. Admit that at least.”
“It doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything,” he rasped. “I have feelings and so do you. We haven’t gone on a date yet, you’re right about that, but we’re ahead of all that already. You flee when you’re scared and that’s why you want to leave so bad. The idea of staying here with me and allowing me to touch you in any way frightens you. You’re in denial if you believe there’s only a physical attraction between us.”
She hesitated, chewed on her lip, and a thought struck. “How much do you know about pumas?”
“Not that much.”
“Maybe I’m ovulating.” Hope soared. “That may explain how I react to you. Maybe that’s it. I’m so human, my version of going into heat just makes me turned on faster and stronger than usual.”
“Is that what I do to you when we touch? Do I make you ache?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “It’s stronger than anything I’ve ever experienced. Especially with the way you smell and when you nibble on me. Even those growls you make so often turn me on.”
“How much more? Where do I rate on a scale of one to ten between the best human who has ever touched you and me?”
She hesitated. “He was maybe a four to your ten.”
That drew a grin from him. “Are we talking about inches?” He looked down at his lap and then winked at her.
“Stop. I’m trying to be serious.”
“I’m sorry. I thought you’d laugh. I’m glad you’re not crying anymore. I really can’t stand to see that. It tears me up inside to see your tears and I just want to hold you to make it better. I want to make love to you, Shannon.”
“I don’t want to be another notch on your bedpost and I really will get attached to you. I’m one of those dopey women who believe sex and love are one and the same. I don’t really want to admit it because that probably sounds pathetic to you, but you can’t have me without hurting me.” She glanced at his lap again and then at his face. “And I’m not talking about just because you’re thick and big down there. You asked me how long it’s been since I had sex. It’s been years, Anton. Not since my last relationship ended. I’m not the casual type in any sense.”
Surprise registered on his features at her confession, but just as swiftly anger simmered in his dark eyes. “Did he do something to you? Hurt you? It had to have been something horrible to make you swear off males for that long. Give me his name and I’ll make him pay for whatever he did to you.”
“It’s not what you’re thinking. No guy hit me or abused me. I’m different. I had to hide certain things from guys I dated. They sense it and I lived in fear that I’d accidentally reveal that I’m not quite normal. It took a toll eventually. It hurt me, watching them withdraw from me, but it always happened. They thought I either had affairs or I just didn’t care enough about them. I just couldn’t open up to them about what I am.”
“What did you hide besides your ancestry?”
“My sex drive, for one.” She blushed. “And don’t look at me with that hungry look. I’m being honest because you asked. I usually had a higher one than the guy I dated and I had to refrain from scratching or biting. I’m afraid of spiders. Try to explain to a guy why and how you ended up on top of a wall unit because one scared you. I had to do that. I had to tell him I’d gotten up there to dust the top of it because that sounded better than saying my instincts drove me up there. He thought I was nuts but he’d heard me hiss and ran into the room before I could calm enough to climb down.”
Anton chuckled. “Sorry.”
“I’ve made weird noises in my sleep.” She shrugged. “One boyfriend said I should see a shrink. He said dreaming I was a cat had to be a sign of mental issues.”
“What made him believe you dreamed you were a cat?”
“I liked to grip and release my pillow the way cats dig their paws into things.”
“You can bite and scratch me. If you knead things in your sleep, I won’t ask you to see a shrink.” He gave her a sincere look. “You don’t have to hide anything from me. Isn’t that worth taking a chance? I don’t know what will happen between us but I’m here. I’m willing to see where this leads. Does that matter at all?”
“I really want to…but it’s not worth the heartache I know I’ll suffer just for a one-night stand.”
The heartbroken look on Shannon’s face twisted his gut. He made a decision instantly. “I’m offering you more than that. Stay here with me during the mating heat. That’s a commitment I’ve never made to a woman before. Once it starts, I’ll only want you. I’m even willing to mark you to ensure it.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
Frustration welled. Her father should have found a way to ensure his daughter’s survival better before he died. He should have found a pride who accepted mixed breeds to prevent her from being raised without any kind of support. The fact that she’d survived for so long before running into her enemy astounded him. She knew nothing about shifters or their ways.
“Marking you will mean I bite you and draw your blood. It’s a way of staking my claim on you so my wolf knows, and so do others, that I’m serious about you. It’s not a mating but you’ll carry my scent and you’ll be all my wolf craves.”
“How do I know your wolf won’t want to kill me?”
“Trust me on this. That’s not what the other half of me wants. We’re in total agreement about you. The only eating that will take place is the pleasurable kind.”
He loved that she blushed. He’d never had someone so innocent, and while it terrified him a little, it excited him more. He made a mental note to try not to go too fast if he talked her into staying, not wanting to shock her by doing anything too over the top. Treat her as though she’s completely human, he decided.
“I don’t know what the future holds for us, Shannon. That’s the same with any relationship but I’ve never hooked up with a woman for the entire time of mating heat. I’ve also never marked anyone before. That’s a commitment I take very seriously. There’s nothing casual about what I’m offering or how I feel about you.”
He watched emotions play across her beautiful face. His heart pounded and his wolf pressed tightly against his skin. It wanted her so bad he had to fight it back. “I won’t cheat on you. You’ll be it for me during the heat. I’ll need you like air and food. I’d go insane if you left me. Crazy insane. Shit, trust me on that. I’ve never wanted to make any form of commitment to a woman before. It’s serious, Shannon.” He decided not to tell her that, if she ran from him after he marked her, he’d go after her. He planned to make sure that didn’t happen. “Please?”
Indecision and longing battled inside her. He offered her at least two weeks of total acceptance of what she was. No hiding anything. No having to hold back the way she’d always had to do with other men. Was it worth the risk of getting her heart broken at the end of whatever werewolf mating heat was? She needed to consider that.
A fierce werewolf sat before her, begging for her to stay with him. Anton wasn’t the type to do something that drastic unless he really meant what he said. She had no doubt he’d never offered any kind of commitment to a woman before. That had to mean a lot. She desperately wanted to trust him.
She stared into his beautiful eyes and saw sincerity there. She nodded before she chickened out. “I’m afraid but you made some good points. I
don’t want to regret not giving us a shot.”
He smiled and lifted to stand on his knees. His arms rose. “Come here.”
She hesitated and glanced at the bed. “I can’t sleep there with you. I don’t want you to compare me to any of the other women you must have shared it with.”
He softly cursed and rose to his feet. “That would never happen but I understand. I have a fold-out couch. It’s new, never been used, and I have sheets that are brand new.” He nearly ran to it, tossed off the cushions, and opened the queen-sized bed. He went to a closet, grabbed pillows and pale blue sheets, and made up the bed. He threw a denim comforter on top and faced her. “See? No one has ever slept here. It’s just ours.”
That was sweet. “Really?”
“Smell the things and you can tell they’re new. I told you I just redid the apartment. New couch, new sheets, pillows, and even the comforter. My bed is a king-size. My stuff wouldn’t fit on the smaller mattress.”
She walked closer to him. “I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be. We’ll take it slow.” He reached for the front of his jeans and then stopped. “I’ll leave them on for now. Yeah. That’s a good idea.”
“Condoms.”
He nodded. “Right.” He launched himself toward his dresser, moving fast, and tore the drawer open so quickly it came totally out of the compartment that held it. Boxes of condoms hit the floor. He softly cursed.
Shannon grinned. “I guess I’m not the only one nervous.”
He peered over his shoulder and gave her a sheepish grin. “I want to do this properly. I don’t want to scare you. I’m also concerned about marking you.”
“Will it hurt?”
He hesitated. “Not if I do it correctly. Don’t worry. I’ve heard advice about how to mark a woman.” He put the drawer back into dresser, then bent over to grab a large box of condoms. He turned, holding them.
“That’s an awfully big box.”
“I really want you.”
She had to look away from him while she bared her body. Her cheeks were warm, she knew she blushed, and she hoped he still found her attractive. When she stood totally naked, she found the courage to look at him.