by Jill Shalvis
Chapter 26
Olivia went for a very long walk, and when she got back to her place, it was empty.
She ignored the little pang of disappointment.
After all, she’d been the one to walk out. Again.
She’d work on it. But she wasn’t used to being in this position, which was falling for a guy. It was damned uncomfortable.
And so not smart, because it meant letting him inside her carefully protected heart after a long period of disuse, never mind the fact that she’d jumped the gun, and instead of waiting for him to walk out on her, she’d done the walking.
God. She was such an idiot.
She tried to get another hour of sleep, but it was a lost cause. She got into the shower, scrubbing her hands over her face, wishing she could take last night back. She refused to let herself cry. But the good thing about a shower was that she could tell herself the drops on her face were just hot water.
Not tears.
Never tears. She didn’t cry over people anymore. This was just exhaustion from spending her night staring up at her ceiling wishing she’d done things differently.
So differently.
As in maybe told Cole the truth about her past. The problem wasn’t him.
It was her.
She was afraid. That was the bottom line. She was a coward.
Lots of people had shitty childhoods and had managed to overcome them. She’d thought she’d done exactly that. After all, she’d picked herself up, dusted herself off, and gone on, creating her own story, giving herself her fantasy identity. It’d meant freedom.
She’d been happy. Or she’d thought so. But for the first time, she was regretting what she’d done, how she’d chosen to escape her past.
Other people faced their demons by accepting them and moving on. Not making shit up. That she’d done just that suddenly felt…childish. Like maybe she hadn’t grown up at all.
She dressed, grabbed her purse, and headed out with no real destination in mind, just knowing she needed a change of scenery.
“Hey. Right on time.”
Olivia turned in the hallway and came face-to-face with Becca and Callie, clearly on their way to breakfast.
“You’re joining us, right?” Becca asked.
“If there’s a short stack of pancakes in my immediate future,” Olivia said.
Becca looked at her for a long moment. “Whatever you want,” she finally said. “You okay?”
As okay as she could be. “Just hungry.”
Becca nodded. “Me too. Have you seen Cole, by any chance?”
Seen. Touched. Kissed. Hurt…But he’d given as good as he’d gotten, hadn’t he? “Yes, I saw him last night.”
“Is he okay?” Becca asked. “I guess there was some sort of misunderstanding between the guys, and he took off.”
There’d been a lot of misunderstandings last night, as it turned out. But Olivia wasn’t about to air Cole’s dirty laundry, no matter how much she liked Becca, who was watching her with care and concern.
“Sam felt really bad about what happened,” Becca went on. “He thought maybe the best thing to do was give Cole some space. Which is of course the opposite of how women would’ve handled the situation. We’d have talked it out.”
Olivia would have liked to help the guys reconcile, but she didn’t know how to do that without betraying Cole’s confidence, which was just about the last thing he needed at this point. “In this case,” she said carefully, “maybe a little space and then talk.”
Becca nodded. “Good advice. I’ll pass it on.”
Olivia just wished that same advice would apply to her. But in her experience, people who walked out stayed out, burning bridges while they were at it. Cole wouldn’t welcome her back.
And damn, there went that pain in her chest again.
The three women hit the diner, and while they were waiting for their order, Becca slapped her own forehead. “Forgot to tell you, someone came looking for you yesterday afternoon. Knocked on your door and seemed pissed off that you weren’t around.”
“Who?” Olivia asked.
Becca shrugged. “She wouldn’t say. I offered to leave you a message, and she refused.”
A bad feeling curled through Olivia’s gut. “She?”
“Mid-twenties. Long blond weave, but going by her roots, she was born a dark brunette. Dark eyes.” Becca blinked. “And actually, come to think of it, she kinda looked like you.”
Yep. There was a damn good reason for the bad feeling in her gut.
Her sister had shown up in Lucky Harbor. “What did you tell her?”
“Nothing,” Becca said firmly. “She kinda stormed off before I could find out who she was. I hope she’s not a crazy person. Maybe we should get a security camera in that hallway.”
“It’s okay,” Olivia said. “I’ve got a feeling I know who she is.”
“Who?” Callie asked.
Olivia stood up, dropped some money on the table, and gave a short shake of her head. “Nobody to worry about. I’ve gotta get to the shop. See you guys later.”
Becca caught her wrist and met her gaze, her own very serious. “You know I’m your wingman, right?”
Olivia laughed. “You’re not single.”
“I’m talking about in life.” Becca tugged until Olivia sat back down. “I’m your wingman in life.”
Olivia had spent most of her adult life excelling at controlling her emotions. Or better yet, not having any. She’d done this by going solo. No expectations. No one to fail or disappoint.
And in return, no one to stand at her back and fail or disappoint her.
But Lucky Harbor, and the people in it, had sneaked in past her boundaries. With shocking difficulty, she swallowed the lump in her throat. “That’s sweet,” she said. “But unnecessary. I’ve got my own back.”
“Well, duh,” Becca said. “But it’s so much nicer to have backup. Besides, I’m cute and hard to resist. And while Cole’s much more hot than cute, he’s also hard to resist. And Callie here, she seems like the solid sort, too. I bet she’d take a place at our backs.”
Callie nodded. “Absolutely. I’m really good at having people’s backs.”
“But you only just met us,” Olivia said.
“Some things don’t take long to figure out,” Callie told her. “Like recognizing a really good person when you see her.”
“But you don’t know me,” Olivia said. Whispered. Because her throat had gone tight again. Damn it. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“Not true,” Callie said. “I know you cry at those Humane Society commercials late at night and then call and donate money. I know that you trash-talk other bidders when you’re on eBay—which I love about you—and that in spite of being white on white, you can really rap in the shower.” She shrugged at Olivia’s surprise. “No insulation, remember?”
“Now me,” Becca said, grinning. “What do you know about me?”
“Waaaay too much,” Callie said. “Did you ever stuff the pipes near your bed? ’Cause last night you and Sam—”
“That wasn’t me,” Becca said on a laugh. “Not last night, I swear.”
Crap, Olivia thought, and grimaced. “That might’ve been me. Sorry.”
“Are you kidding? Don’t be sorry,” Callie said. “I’m jealous as hell. Everyone’s getting some except me.”
Becca hadn’t taken her eyes off Olivia. “You’re getting some? It’s gone that far?”
There was no good answer to that question, but apparently one wasn’t required.
Becca grinned. “Yeah, you are. You’re getting some.”
“It’s not like you and Sam,” Olivia said quickly. “It was just…well, I don’t know exactly. But it’s over now.”
“Because of last night and what happened on the boat with the guys?” Becca asked.
“No, it’s because of me,” Olivia admitted. She stood again. “Listen, I’m sorry. But I can’t talk about this, and also, I really do have to go.
”
She’d screwed up with Cole and that was done. But now she had to get ahold of her sister before Jolyn opened her big mouth and ruined her life even more. She left the diner and walked to the shop, calling Jolyn as she did.
But being perverse by nature, her sister didn’t answer.
Heaven forbid she ever do anything helpful. “Call me,” Olivia said to Jolyn’s voice mail. “Call me back as soon as you get this and tell me you are not here in Lucky Harbor asking about me.”
Then, to distract herself, she went through new stock. She had two boxes that had come in the day before, and was deep in them when she nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of a low, unbearably familiar voice.
“Hey, Supergirl.”
Cole stood on her office doorstep, one shoulder propping up the jamb, arms casually crossed over his chest, baseball hat low on his face.
It was so cold out that she was still shivering in her boots from her walk over here, but Cole wore nothing but a long-sleeved T-shirt tight over his broad shoulders, loose over his flat abs, half tucked into his low-riding cargoes. Also, it must have started to rain, because he was dotted with raindrops.
And she ached at the sight of him.
Chapter 27
Cole took one look at Olivia’s face and straightened in concern. She looked absolutely stunned to see him, so much so that she nearly fell on her face.
He reached out to grab her arm. She was trembling. “Hey,” he said. “Hey, come here.”
As he pulled her in, she gripped him like she’d never expected to see him again. “I’m so sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have butted in with my opinion and then walked out, I—”
He shook his head and cuddled her into him. “Don’t ever be sorry for your opinions,” he said.
“But I walked out—”
“Honey, that’s called a regular night at my house. Tempers ebb and flow, it’s okay.”
She stared up at him like he was speaking Greek. Had no one ever had a fight with her and then forgiven her before? “Olivia,” he said quietly. “I’m the sorry one. I got my world rocked last night, and you took the brunt of it.” Then he lowered his head and kissed her.
He’d meant to keep it short and sweet, comforting. But it was one hell of a hot, hard kiss.
“So…” She blinked up at him when he lifted his mouth from hers. “Does that mean we’re okay?”
She slayed him. “So okay.” Dropping his forehead to hers, he cupped her face and kissed her again.
“And that?” she asked. “What was that for?”
“For being the real deal,” he said. “For the utter lack of pretense, always.” He slid his thumb over her still wet lower lip, watching the movement before meeting her gaze. “I could fall for you, Olivia.” He let that sink in before letting out a low laugh.
“That’s funny?” she asked, looking confused.
“No. What’s funny is that it’s a lie.” He dipped down a little to look right into her eyes. “I am falling for you.”
Olivia stared at him, heart in her throat. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t do anything but gape at him like a fish out of water.
Yay! the devil on her left shoulder said. Oh yay! He’s falling for us!
The angel on her right shoulder wasn’t nearly so happy and warm. In fact, she was terrified. No. No, no, no, this isn’t good. What will we do when he finds out the truth about us and he changes his mind?
So many things were hitting her at once. Happiness. Warmth.
Terror. “You mean that?”
“I’m not in the habit of saying things I don’t mean.” Cole checked the lock on the front door and picked her up. “Wrap your legs around me,” he said. “Yeah, like that.” And then he turned and headed for her desk.
“What are we doing?”
He set her down on the wood surface. “Lose the clothes, Olivia.” And when she didn’t move fast enough, he lent his hands to the cause and had her down to skin in three seconds. He dropped to his knees between hers.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said quietly, kissing his way up the inside of her leg, a big hand on her ankle, holding her open for him.
She felt incredibly naked. And she was. One hundred percent naked while he was fully dressed.
Intimacy had always been a problem for her. Relaxing into it. Allowing it. But here, now, with Cole like this, it felt…freeing. “I don’t think—”
“Good. Don’t think,” he said gruffly. “Just give. Give me you.”
And then he put his mouth on her, and in less than five minutes, she’d have given him anything he asked for. Her worries began to slide away. Even her angels went silent. Her bones were liquid; her body sagged against the desk like a limp doll when he rose up and kissed her. His mouth was hot and hungry, and he growled when she pulled him closer.
But then he let go of her, and she gasped at the lack of contact.
“Don’t move,” he ordered as he tugged off his shirt and unbuttoned his cargoes, stripping to skin. God. She knew she needed to stop this, but she couldn’t. Nor could she take her eyes off him.
He rolled a condom down his length, and then his hands were back on her, hard and deliciously possessive. He leaned over her, looking deep into her eyes.
She squirmed beneath him, desperate for him to push inside her, but he just looked at her, his gaze touching over her face, his bluer-than-blue eyes communicating more than she knew how to process.
And then a slow, warm heat filled her that had more to do with the things she saw there in those eyes than what his body was making her feel, and that was saying something. “Cole,” she whispered, and cupped his face.
He smiled at her as if he’d won a prize, and finally, God, finally, he sank into her body.
Neither of them said much after that, but she didn’t need any words. His eyes said it all. So did his hands as they trailed over her body. She lost herself in the sensations as he heated her from the inside out, completely lost herself, and she realized she was saying his name again, over and over.
Oh yes, she thought; in spite of herself, in spite of her secrets and her fears about what was going to happen when he found out the truth about her, in spite of everything, she was most definitely falling…
And then all the air left her body and she pulled at him, digging her nails into flesh and muscles as he pounded into her.
His mouth was against her ear. “Come for me.”
As if she could do anything but. And as she did indeed come for him, something in her heart shattered along with her body. Pulsing, throbbing, she tightened around him again and again.
And knew she loved him.
She opened her mouth, but blessedly before the words could escape, he kissed her, and as he raced to his own orgasm, she met his every thrust with an almost frightening level of passion.
Afterward, they didn’t move for a long time. His hands were tangled in her hair, his body still deep inside hers, his breathing ragged, his heart pounding against her, and she knew she didn’t want to let go of him.
Ever.
“Maybe we should fight every day,” he said on a low laugh that