by Caris Roane
Seeing the couch now brought it all back, how his life had changed forever in that moment. Glancing at Grace and giving her hand a squeeze, he was grateful.
She met his gaze and smiled. He just wished that he could see the future more clearly, especially the why of his beast-state and just what role he was meant to play in Grace’s life, even in his world. And what would happen if he really was in his ascension to Third Earth?
Grace had spoken more than once about how she had gone through life as a ghost. The truth was, he could relate. Even though they’d completed the breh-hedden and even though they had amazing sex together, he didn’t feel a complete connection to her.
But he didn’t blame her. He blamed himself. He was as much a ghost as she was. In all his long life, he’d never truly given his heart to another ascender for safekeeping, not once. Maybe the death of his mother had ruined him in that way, but he kept an invisible emotional barrier all around his heart, always protecting himself, always working hard to be the best warrior, perhaps unwilling to love until the last death vampire was slain.
It was in this way that neither he nor Grace had been ready to complete the breh-hedden. It felt strange to be able to feel the pressure of his palm against hers, to know what his skin and the squeeze of his hand felt like from her point of view. They were so close, and yet still so far apart. He wondered if he could ever truly let go with her, truly give his heart completely, truly yield to all that the breh-hedden could be.
Parisa appeared from a side hall at the southern end of the villa. She carried several black towels folded over her arms. “I found some extras in the second suite. I’m putting you in the room closer to the library.” When she reached a rectangular table in the center of the hall, she waved them forward, then gestured to her left.
Leto put his arm loosely around Grace’s waist as he walked beside her down the hall.
Parisa was another beauty, Antony’s breh. She wasn’t as tall as Grace, perhaps an inch or so shorter. Her hair was long, dark brown, and layered. She had extraordinary violet eyes.
She led them to a room on the left, and as she pushed the door open, she said, “Antony won’t be home until dawn. He’s out battling at the New River Borderland. Of course, as soon as he gets back, I’ll be putting him to bed.” A faint blush climbed her cheeks as she held the door wide.
Grace passed into the room, and Leto followed her. The bed was a massive carved mahogany and looked bigger than a king, which was a real plus, especially if Leto went beast. Grace moved to stand near the doorway leading to the bathroom, her arms folded across her chest.
“I know this has been a long night,” Parisa said, her voice quiet. “I just wanted to say how sorry we are about the Seattle Colony. There simply are no words.”
Leto nodded. “Most of the colonists were able to fold to the Portland hidden colony.”
She nodded. “Thank goodness for that. Well, you both must be exhausted so I’ll leave you now. Also, Endelle said she was adding a smaller dome of mist over the villa itself, which should make it impossible for Greaves to get to you.” She glanced toward the window. “Antony insisted on several squads of Militia Warriors as well. They’ll be patrolling the grounds nearest the house day and night. I think there are eighty warriors out there right now.”
“So many,” Grace murmured, but she actually took a deep breath and her arms fell away to hang loose at her sides.
Even Leto felt it, a sense of security, at least for now. “Parisa, thank you so much. We’ll be very comfortable here.”
She smiled. “I’m basically on Antony’s schedule for now, so I’ll be sleeping away the day with him when he comes home at dawn. Just make the villa your home, especially the kitchen. Have anything you like.” She glanced from one to the other. “Sleep well.”
She closed the door.
Leto turned to find that Grace was staring at the carpet and blinking. He went to her, took her hand, and kissed her fingers. “Take your shower. You’ll feel better.”
She nodded and headed for the bathroom.
All good things know a proper time of fulfillment.
—Collected Proverbs, Beatrice of Fourth
CHAPTER 12
Several hours later, Grace awoke to a strange sensation that she couldn’t place at first: a kind of rumbling. She thought, Tank, maybe? But as she came more fully awake, she realized that Leto was snoring, his head facedown on his pillow.
She smiled and rubbed his shoulder gently. How normal this seemed.
The snoring jerked to a stop, and he lifted his head. He blinked a couple of times, then rubbed his face with both hands. “I couldn’t breathe. I was dreaming I was flying way too high and there wasn’t enough oxygen.” His eyes rolled as he turned to look at her. He blinked some more.
She continued to rub his shoulder slowly back and forth. “I’m not surprised. I think you were suffocating against your pillow.”
He dropped his head back down on the pillow. He chuckled, shifting to look up at her. “I sure hope I wasn’t snoring.”
“Not at all.” She didn’t mind lying.
The wrinkle between his brows relaxed. “That would be wretched, indeed. Nothing so unromantic as a loud snore. But I must say, you’re a terrible liar.”
She chuckled, stretched, and turned to look out the back window. Dawn had broken. “I always forget how high up in the foothills of the White Tank Mountains Antony’s villa is. I can see a lot of the peaks from here. Oh, look, there’s a deer on the lawn. A doe.”
Leto shifted on his side. Because of the breh-bond, she could feel the sheet tug at his legs until he kicked the tangle away. He moved closer and stretched out beside her. He draped his arm over her stomach.
His forest scent drifted up and teased her nostrils. Desire, always so close to the surface because of the breh-hedden, swirled through her body.
“Meadow,” he whispered. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, then her throat, and moved lower to her breasts.
She didn’t protest when he pushed the sheet to her waist and began to feast. It was so strange to experience what he felt, just how soft her breast was against his lips, and the feel of her hardening nipple when he began to suckle.
All the dual sensations increased her need.
With one hand she held on to the headboard. She used the other to pet his head. He suckled her breast, tugging on the nipple. His hands pushed at both breasts. His shoulders hunched. God, I love feeling what this feels like to you.
“I know what you mean.” She drifted her hand down the back of his head, over his long hair, the exposed and always sensitive wing-locks.
She slid the tips of her fingernails over a lock, and he writhed. She did, too, because she could experience what that felt like. She added just a little pressure, and he sucked harder on her breast.
I can feel the sensation of my mouth on your breast, what it feels like to you, he sent. One more suck and she clenched.
Experiencing both at the same time brought desire rushing, but she didn’t want to rush. So she worked at blocking his experiences, which helped her to settle down a little.
But an idea slipped through her mind, one she couldn’t resist. “Leto, there’s something I want to do to you.”
That got his attention, and he popped off her breast, looking up at her. He didn’t smile, though. Instead, a beautiful dark glitter filled his blue eyes. “Anything,” he said, his voice as low as she’d ever heard it.
She smiled and pinched his wing-lock. His body writhed beneath hers. Wing-locks were extremely sensitive, and the act of mounting wings was very close to sexual release.
“On your stomach,” she said.
He groaned as he shifted to lie down beside her. He pushed the pillows out of the way.
“And now, I need your beast.” She kissed his shoulder. “Will you give me your beast?”
“You want my beast? As in, you want me to change into the larger version of myself.”
She sighed deeply. “
Yes.” The word left her with a soft rush of air. “I mean, if you want to. Do you want to?”
He groaned. “If you want me to, God, yes.”
She felt him take a couple of deep breaths. She could feel the vibration slide down one of his legs, then the other.
When his muscles began to enlarge everywhere, she sat back on her heels and watched the transformation. Her lips parted. Her breaths grew uneven. She realized that this was pure sex to her, that he grew, got bigger, became more of what he already was. Only instead of just his cock growing, his entire body grew, becoming more heavily muscled and gaining a couple of inches in height.
Meadow, Grace. Does this turn you on?
More than you will ever know.
I don’t know if that’s true, because I can feel all your responses. He groaned again.
She put her lips on his shoulder, kissing him softly, moving back and forth over his skin. She could feel the muscles swelling. A soft vibration passed through her.
He hissed softly. “Your scent.”
“Your skin, your muscles.” She slid her hand from the inside of his elbow up his arm slowly.
Chuffs left his throat, and she shivered. Her fingers touched more swelling flesh. She overlaid his bicep with her hand and licked his shoulder as everything beneath her continued to grow, shift, change, become larger.
She loved it. The feel of all this movement and energy beneath her hands and her mouth. His skin was hot. She licked. All that warmth and flavor, of Leto tasting like the forest, sent ripples down her body, little waves lapping at the shore, teasing her, tempting her.
He trembled.
“What’s wrong?” She licked again.
I want—
She cut him off. “Use your words, Leto. I need to hear your voice in this state. It’s much deeper, sexier. It gives me a thrill.”
“I want to flip you over, throw you on your back.”
She massaged the growing bicep. “I know. Don’t care. You have to do as I say, at least for now.”
A small piece of laughter, like it had broken off from the rest, barked from his throat. He sighed.
His shoulder pushed at her lips, dragging away from her. She opened her eyes. Leto was getting taller. She licked down his arm and nursed on his bicep. He grunted. She knew this was torture. Again, she didn’t care.
This was her turn.
She left his bicep, then, using both hands, she began at the top of his back and slowly descended, stroking each weeping wing-lock, taking all that moisture with her, down and down to his waist until her hands were sopping.
He gave a shout and whirled to face her. But she moved with her newly acquired speed and was fifteen feet away, at the door of the bedroom. He was off the bed before she could blink, but she held up one hand and he stopped.
“What are you doing to me?” His voice was so low, so resonant, she found it hard to remain where she was. “Let me come to you.”
She wept from between her legs. She wanted to run to him, throw her arms around him, and sink herself on what was very hard and very big.
Her hands were dripping with the moisture from his wing-locks. The scent tempted her. With one hand held out to him to keep him away, she lifted the other to her lips. She settled her gaze on him and licked her palm.
The flavor seemed to reach inside her and give a hard tug. “Oh, Leto, you taste of heaven to me.”
He palmed his erection and slowly stroked himself. She could feel what his hand felt like touching his cock, and her body clenched with need.
Her gaze fell to what belonged only to her, and her lips parted as she dragged air into her lungs. She put her moist hands on her breasts. Her nipples drew into hard beads. She drifted her hands lower over her sensitive navel, and lower still.
His hand moved faster as she descended.
“Please, let me come to you,” he said, his gaze almost frantic.
She didn’t answer him. She couldn’t. She was enjoying this too much, having this kind of control over him. She felt heady as her fingers slid into her pubic hair and pushed. The sensation was delightful.
He closed his eyes and groaned. “I can feel what that’s like for you, the pressure of your fingers, the pleasure it gives you.” He was close.
She had an idea. With a burst of speed, she was on her knees in front of him and her lips closed around the crown of his cock.
He gave a strangled cry. His hands suddenly on her head, he pushed his cock into her mouth. She took him as deep as she could. Using both her hands, she sucked and stroked him at the same time.
Leto, how wonderful my mouth feels to you.
“I can’t wait.”
Let it all go, Leto. Give me what you’ve got.
His body jerked forward as he began to pulse. She kept stroking and stroking. His cock released into her, and she drank what tasted of the forest and of Leto. She drank and drank.
But she knew him and she knew that he wasn’t done, even when his movements slowed and he pulled out of her mouth.
“You’re glowing,” he said.
She smiled up at him. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I mean your skin. You’re glowing. You have a blue aura.”
She rose slowly to her feet and looked at her arm. She laughed. “So I am. It’s almost iridescent.”
He dipped down and kissed her, driving his tongue deep. Her hands found a pair of biceps that were huge. I taste myself in you.
It’s so beautiful, making love like this.
And I’m not repulsive to you in this state?
Sexy, Leto. You’re sexy. She pushed her tongue into his mouth and his heavy arms embraced her, pulling her off her feet and against him.
She worked her arms to slide them around his neck and held him fast. Your hair is moving over my arms. Even his hair was different.
He pulled back and met her gaze. His eyes were so blue, so intense, his black lashes thick. His cheeks were more prominent in this state, and as he held her dangling above the floor, she pressed her forearms into his shoulders to give herself a little leverage. She lifted up just enough to run her tongue across the increased line of his cheek. “You’re bigger everywhere.”
She dropped down that couple of inches and saw that he was smiling, a crooked smile. “Everywhere?”
She nodded. “Oh, yes.” She let her arms fall away and arched her head back so that he was holding her without her help.
He chuckled and swung her in a circle, then another and another. Here was all this man, all this sex, all this enormous body, and she felt light and feminine, all six feet of her in his arms as he continued to swing her.
He stopped and drew her in close once more, pressing her head into his shoulder, still holding her off the floor. “You have made me so happy,” he said. “I didn’t think I could be this happy in this beast-state. I thought it was a curse, but how can it be a curse when you seem to like me like this?”
“Leto, here’s the truth that I know about who you are: You could turn into a raving ghoul, and you would still be the finest man I have ever known.”
He grew very still suddenly, so she continued, “I can remember the first day I met you. Of course, this was so long ago, but I was fighting with Thorne, begging him to be more careful. He had just joined the Warriors of the Blood, and I feared for him every day because he was reckless. He had come home, and just as I punched his arm, you folded into the room, into my home in Rome Two, so many years ago. Do you remember?”
“I do,” he said. “You were so angry and you glared at me.”
“I blamed you for introducing him to Endelle, for making him a Warrior of the Blood.”
“‘So you must be Warrior Leto.’ I’ll never forget your icy tone,” he said.
“But you merely smiled and looked at me, and I looked back. I … I’ve never told anyone this, but I had the worst crush on you.”
“You did not.” His eyes were wide, disbelieving.
“I did, and it lasted decades,” Grace sa
id. “I made excuses to be near you. Did you ever think of me—back then, I mean?”
“Yes, I admit I did. Don’t you remember that I would always talk to you? Always ask how you were doing?”
“I thought you were being polite,” she said, smiling.
“I was smitten. You were so beautiful and so compassionate even then. But you were young, so very young. It wasn’t right. By then I was twelve hundred years old.”
And there was another truth of his character as he held her a foot off the floor, his body altered into the beast-state. He hadn’t pursued her because she was young.
With a rueful smile, he added, “And you know Thorne would have taken me apart if I’d courted you.”
She chuckled against his shoulder. “Yes, he would have. He was always very protective of me. Of both Patience and me.”
He held her tight, his arms compressing some of her wing-locks in the nicest way. She felt secure, even safe. Now, there was a novelty—that she felt safe, if for just this moment, in a world at war.
He drew back and let her slide to plant her feet on the floor. He smiled. He was so beautiful. He kissed her, then said, “I want to feel the backs of your knees over my shoulders. How does that sound?”
She blinked very slowly, and as soon as she understood his meaning, she squeezed her eyes shut and shuddered, a full-body shudder that went all the way down into her heels. She opened her eyes. “I would like that, Leto, very much.”
He kissed her again, and his tongue pierced her mouth. He moved in and out seductively. He sent, Can you feel that even my tongue is bigger?
She didn’t have time to answer him because suddenly she was airborne as he lifted her over his shoulder. He thumped across the floor to the bed and tossed her on her back. She bounced and laughed, but he didn’t so much as smile. He caught her ankles, and as he pulled her toward him, he dropped to his knees beside the bed and split her legs wide.
Her laughter drifted away because suddenly the room was full once more of forest scent and his head was easing down in the right direction until he was chuffing, making that resonant growling, huffing sound that somehow relaxed her pelvis. He brought her legs across the new breadth of each shoulder, and the fit was perfect.