by Vi Keeland
“I guessed that by the just-fucked smile on your face.”
“I thought it was my singsongy voice that gave me away?”
“That, and the flowers that came fifteen minutes before you walked in.”
***
My day goes by in a rush of calls and work I hadn’t planned on doing. But Leonard is due back soon and I want to make his first few days back easy, so I neglect my own files and spend more time with his.
I call Nico in the afternoon and thank him for the flowers. I love that he sent me wildflowers instead of something more common like roses. They’re beautiful and colorful and befitting of the sender.
Regina and I both stay late and we order in dinner at the office. It’s almost nine and our dinners are cold before we finally sit down in the conference room to take our first bites.
“Does he know?” Regina’s usually direct and sarcastic voice is gentle and apprehensive. She knows what bringing up the past can do to me, so she steadies for my response.
“No.”
Regina looks at me concerned. “Don’t you think he’ll understand...with what happened to him?”
I do. I really do think he’ll understand for some reason. But I’m just not ready to say the words out loud yet. “Don’t start, Regina. It’s new and I’m not avoiding it, it just hasn’t come up.”
“It will never come up, unless you bring it up. How many years did you spend with William and it never came up?”
I sigh heavily, I know she’s right, but I’m not ready for Nico to look at me differently. He’ll see someone different once he knows. Or worse, he’ll look at me with pity. The way he looks at me makes my heart skip a beat, something I’m only just learning to enjoy. Too many years of my life went by with me flatlining, trying to evade all emotions. It’s the first time I want to feel in a long time. Feel the highs and the lows and all that’s in between.
“I’m just not ready yet.”
Regina knows what I’ve been through, so she doesn’t push. But I know this isn’t the last that I’ll hear about it from her.
Chapter 26
Nico
“The chick the other night had some rack, hey Lady Killer?” Frank Lawson is a complete asshole. Always has been. I didn’t even notice he was in the gym the other night when Elle and I walked through.
“She’s not some chick and keep your eyes off her when she’s in here, or you’ll be finding a new place to train.” The whole room goes quiet. “After I kick your ass.”
Frank throws his hands up in exaggerated surrender and I hear a few of the guys quietly laugh in the background.
“Hey Frank, Nico can use a sparring partner, whatta you say?” Preach chimes in. Gotta love Preach always looking out for me. He just gave me an excuse to knock that asshole on his ass and call it practice.
My stare is icy when Frank looks at me. He knows I’m pissed. But the whole place is still quiet and now he’ll look like a pussy if he says no. “Umm…sure.”
Preach winks at me as I turn to finish my warm up. On a bad day I can take Frank with one hand tied behind my back. Today I won’t need either.
***
A few hours later, Preach and I lock up and I make us both a protein shake. I need to replenish the calories, Preach is working on a little gut.
“Put some extra peanut butter in mine.”
I slap Preach in the gut. “You don’t need any extra peanut butter, old man.”
“You better hope you look as good as I do when you’re my age.” He sucks in his gut and throws back his shoulders as he speaks.
“I’ll worry about it in seventy or eighty years when I’m almost your age.” I answer back to Preach with sarcasm. This is who we are. We bust chops, fight, argue, and get pissed off at each other. But he’s like a father to me, the old bastard.
“Yeah, well, with the quantity of food you inhale, I’m thinking you might not make it to my ripe old age. Your new lady cook good?”
I laugh. “Ah, that would be a no. I made her eggs the other morning and she thought it was magic that I made them taste so good. All I put in was salt and pepper.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing she looks like that if she can’t cook.” Preach goads me.
“Watch it old man, or I’ll knock you on your ass, too.” I hand him his shake, with a double scoop of peanut butter.
Chapter 27
Elle
Friday night Regina and I go out for drinks after work. Our regular place is packed for happy hour, but we eventually manage to get two seats at the bar. I have two glasses of wine, while Regina has at least twice that. Nico is meeting me at the bar at eight and taking me to dinner and I don’t want to be too tipsy. Anything over two inside of two or three hours is too much for me.
My back is to the crowded bar, I’m surprised when I hear a familiar voice I don’t expect to hear. William. It’s not that I don’t want to see him, but the place we’re at just isn’t on William’s revolving list of regular restaurants. I’m pretty sure Zagat’s never stepped foot inside here.
“Hey, Elle.” William greets me in the same manner he normally would in a public place. He kisses me on the cheek and gives me a slight brush of his hand on my hip. “Hey Regina.” He gives her a smile, but no kiss on the cheek.
William introduces the man he’s with as one of the new associates at his firm. He’s older for an associate, but nice looking, a little on the shorter side. I’m surprised at the lack of awkwardness in our conversation. Oddly, it feels like nothing has changed. After a few minutes, we slip into easy conversation about one of the cases we had been discussing over the last year and Regina and the new guy seem to have found something they both find hysterical.
I have no idea how long we talk for, but it’s nice, and I begin to think maybe William and I really can be friends. Maybe it’s what we always were. I lose track of time, and let myself enjoy the familiarity of my conversation.
William’s back is to Nico as he approaches the bar, but I catch sight of him the minute he walks through the door. My body responds to him instantly, my pulse increasing and my breaths coming shorter and faster. My eyes follow his every step and our eyes lock the minute he spots me. The crowded room falls away as he walks to me and I shift in my seat feeling tingly all over at the intensity in his gaze. God the man makes me feel so alive.
He’s a few steps away when his eyes finally leave mine and catches the face of the man I’m talking to. Something in his face changes, his eyes are darker, wilder, when his eyes come back to me only a second or two later. William notices my distraction and traces my line of sight, turning as Nico reaches us.
Effortlessly, William makes the change from friend to businessman and greets Nico in the way I’ve watched him schmooze a hundred clients before. Nico nods his head curtly and I hear him say, “William,” but he doesn’t turn to acknowledge him and his eyes never release mine. The awkwardness that was missing with William, suddenly hangs thick in the air. Nico’s face gives nothing away, but I can feel the tension emanating from his body.
His eyes squint ever so slightly as he studies me, looking for an answer to some unasked question. I’m still as Nico extends his arm toward me, his big hand gently hooking around my neck and pulling me slightly toward him as his head comes down to meet mine. His mouth covers mine and he plants a quick, dry kiss on my lips. His head pulls back slightly and he nods and speaks before he releases me. “Babe.”
The look in his eyes is something I’m not used to, but there’s no mistaking it’s there. Jealousy, possessiveness. He’s just marked his territory with one small move. The hint of a smile I see threatening in the corner of his mouth tells me he knew exactly what he was doing. The independent woman inside of me tells me I should be pissed, finding his territorial action appalling, but my body refuses to listen. Instead, I’m aroused, finding his possessive gesture incredibly sexy and exciting.
Regina breaks me out of my daze with her words and I find the three people we are with staring at me.
I forgot there was anyone else in the room. “Do I get a greeting like that too?” Her sarcastic comment seems to break the awkward silence, and Nico responds sweetly by giving her a kiss on the cheek and treating her to his sexy grin. “Hey, Regina.” She giggles like a schoolgirl at his touch. My friend definitely has a new crush.
William looks confused, almost shell shocked for a minute. His reaction surprises me, not that he reacts, but that he allows me to see it on his face. I’ve watched him bluff in negotiations and cover his surprise to testimony on the witness stand, without ever a hint of reveal on the outside. He’s a master at maintaining a poker face, but I think Nico’s kiss must have caught him very off guard.
Nico extends his hand to me. “Ready?”
I smile hesitantly at William and say my goodbyes to everyone before putting my hand in Nico’s and rising to leave.
***
The restaurant is in the back of the bar and it’s quieter and more intimate. Nico pulls out my chair before sitting and the waitress takes our drink order as soon as we’re both seated. We’re finally alone and Nico is looking at me questioningly. He seems to be expecting me to say something, but I don’t. I wait, I want to know what’s on his mind.
“Drinks with William?” His voice is low and he sounds angry. I can tell he’s doing his best to appear controlled.
“It wasn’t a planned thing, if that’s what you’re asking.” I raise an eyebrow in question. But I know exactly what he’s asking.
Nico studies me for a second and then nods, accepting my answer.
Dinner is good, although I think Nico’s cooking is better. We move past whatever issue he had with William and Nico has me laughing through most of dinner, telling me more stories about growing up with his three brothers. His childhood memories are beautiful, filled with laughter and fighting and a roller coaster of emotions that always seem to land on love. It’s so different than the memories I’ve spent half my life trying to keep at bay.
The sprawling lawn that lead to our stately home looked beautiful, like something from a tender storybook. Yet inside was anything but, instead filled with anger and violence. It should have been easy for us. We were a family. Two parents and none of the financial stresses that many have to face daily. Yet Nico’s single mom, who struggled raising four boys, seems to have been able to give them so much more. I’ll never understand why we lived the way we did.
The waitress arrives with our check and she looks at Nico shyly. “Umm…can I bother you for your autograph? I’m a huge fan.” She’s nervously swaying back and forth as she speaks and it’s sweet, almost coquettish. I hadn’t really noticed her before. She’s a pretty girl, something about her has a girl-next-door quality.
Nico smiles and tells her he’s happy to sign an autograph and the two of them spend a few minutes talking about his upcoming fight. Her shyness easily disappears as they talk and I watch as he turns her from shy girl to flirty woman in just under three minutes. The transformation in her is remarkable. But it’s Nico who brings it out of her. He gives her his full attention as she speaks, it’s just shy of flirting and he doesn’t even try. Whatever he has exudes from him naturally. By the time they’re done, the sweetness that I felt when the doe-eyed waitress asked him for a simple autograph has turned into something else. I’m pretty sure that something else is jealousy, but it’s new to me.
Nico turns to me, “You ready?” He stands and offers me his hand.
“Sure, if you’re done.” My response comes out more sarcastic than I intended, but I give him my hand nevertheless.
Nico’s eyebrows arch in surprise at my tone and he looks at me at first in confusion, and then it quickly turns to amusement. He pulls me to him and crushes my mouth to his. He doesn’t care that we’re standing in the middle of a crowded restaurant, and he makes it so that I don’t either.
***
We no longer invite each other in at the end of the night, it’s just a given. I spent years dating William and we never moved past the invite stage to where Nico and I have gone in only a few weeks. I don’t know when it changed, but I think we’ve left dating and moved into relationship. It just happened. Something slipped by me and it was too late before I noticed. Not that I would have stopped it anyway. But I find it intriguing when I look back to where things stayed with others. This man does something to me that’s different. It’s like breathing. I don’t think about it, my body and brain just work together of their own accord to take care of my need for air. Nico’s become a need.
We settle into my apartment and Nico sits in the loveseat facing the couch. It looks more like a big chair with his large frame filling up so much space. I kick off my heels and walk towards the couch.
“Come here.” His voice is gruff and sends a chill up my spine. He extends his arm up and pulls me down to him so that I’m sitting facing him, straddling his muscular thighs. I squirm a bit to find a comfortable place, but I feel his thick bulge beneath me and there is no place to hide with my legs spread so widely over him. He looks amused watching me, so I settle on a spot even though he’s pressed up against me in my most intimate of areas. I feel an ache almost immediately.
“You have a jealous streak in you.” His eyes light up as he pushes my hair back off of my face with his calloused fingers. He leans in ever so slightly and kisses me gently on the lips before he speaks, his lips still so close to mine I can feel the vibration of his words. “I like it.”
“And you, what was that little thing you did with William?” My words come out breathless from his sweet kiss, but his body tenses underneath me at the mention of William.
Nico pulls his face back to look at me and he grips my hips tightly. “I told you I’m not sharing you.” His voice is serious and rough.
I don’t know how to respond to that, so I’m honest. “William and I have been friends since law school. He’s a good friend.”
Nico looks at me, waiting for more.
“We sort of, you know, added to the friendship a few years back.” I blush and bite my lower lip unconsciously.
Nico’s jaw flexes and his green eyes go dark, cloudy gray. “And now?”
“Now we’re friends again. I guess. I haven’t seen him since I told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore, in that way. Tonight was the first time I’ve seen him since you and I started seeing each other.”
Nico nods. His face tells me he understands that he wasn’t my first, but it’s difficult for him to hear. Difficult to accept the thought of me with another man. I want him to forget about William, put all thoughts of our pasts out of his mind and focus on me. Us. Now.
I lean forward and press my body up against his, the slight shift lines the length of him up against me. I can’t help but let out a small moan as I feel him hardening underneath me.
“You’re mine now.” He groans as I push my weight down on him, the outline of him pushing up against me firmly through our clothes.
“Does that mean I get to do whatever I want with you then?” I flirt in a suggestive tone and raise one eyebrow in question.
“Only if that means I’m buried inside of you within the next few minutes.”
His words ratchet up my arousal and I can’t get to his bare skin fast enough. I begin to unbutton his shirt, my fingers frantic to unwrap the prize underneath. I make it two buttons when Nico reaches behind him and grabs the back of his shirt and pulls it over his head in one muscular yank.
I take in the sight of his bare chest, all defined and bulging. The plentiful ink woven on his arms looks like art on the most beautiful canvas I’ve ever laid eyes on. Lucky ink. I trace the lines on his chest, the crevices separating one muscle from another, allowing my fingernail to scrape lightly against his beautiful tanned skin.
His chest heaves up and down as he watches me touch him. I circle a trail around his taut nipple and then slowly reach down and flick it with my tongue before I gently bite down. Nico groans and his grip on my hips tightens and his head falls back as he takes a deep
breath, struggling to maintain his control.
His neck exposed, I lean in and kiss gently once at the base of his neck, then move up slightly and bite gently. I alternate between gentle kisses and nipping as I work my way up his neck. When I reach his ear, I stop and whisper, allowing the hot breath from my words to float as I speak. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean, if…”
Nico doesn’t give me a chance to even finish my sentence. My shirt is up and off of my head before I even realize he’s taken over. Raw need floods through me in reaction to the intensity of his movement, and my body shivers when he roughly pushes down the cup to my bra and takes my nipple into his mouth. I whimper when he bites down and sucks hard while his hands lift me to take off my skirt.
He takes my mouth hungrily and I rub myself up against him, my swollen clit desperate for friction. A throaty moan escapes when I feel how hard he is and begin to ride him up and down through what remains of our clothes. With one strong arm, Nico lifts my ass and his other hand unzips his pants, freeing himself. “I’ve wanted to come inside of you so badly it hurts. Feel that clenching little pussy slide up and down my bare cock. I need in. Now.”
It’s a testament to our desperation that we don’t even remove my panties or take down Nico’s pants. He just pushes them aside to make enough room for us to connect before he lifts me high and positions the tip of him at my opening. I think he’s just about to pull me down, spearing himself into me and I can’t wait. But then he stills…he’s shaking. “Shit. I don’t want to hurt you. You take me as slowly as you need.”
I need him. I don’t care if it hurts or if my body isn’t ready to take him all in at once. I have to have him inside of me. Filling me. All of me. Now. I surprise him when I force the weight of me down and take him in fully in one long, agonizingly blissful stroke. Nico closes his eyes for a second and groans loudly. I’m flush against the base of him and give my body only a few seconds to adjust to accommodate the length of him.