by Vi Keeland
My phone buzzes and I reach for it. I’ve lost track of the days.
Dinner tomorrow night? I miss you.
William always confirms our date the day before. But I’m surprised that he adds that he misses me. We don’t talk about feelings. We enjoy each other’s company. We talk about work. We eat at nice restaurants. We have sex. If it wasn’t for the sex part, I would classify what William and I have as a great friendship. But the sex started us down a road to somewhere, although I have no idea where we’re heading. I’m not even sure what William wants out of what we have. We don’t talk about it. We just go through the motions and that worked for me for a long time.
I think I’ve hit a fork in the road and I need to make a decision. Really move forward with William or start in a new direction. I’ve stayed stagnant for too long.
Same time, same place? I know what his response will be before it appears on my screen.
Yes. Looking forward to it.
I’ve set a mental deadline for myself. I’m better under time constraints. Tomorrow night I will either break it off with William or I’ll stop whatever has started with Nico. It just doesn’t feel like the two can be mixed.
Chapter 10
Nico
Our once a month dinner at my brother’s house is always chaotic. There are bodies rolling around the floor, furniture is tossed upside down and the television is blaring, but no one is watching it. Growing up my mom always said she hoped we’d have a houseful of little boys to get even with what we put her through. I look around at the seven little boys my three brothers have spawned and smile, thinking my mom got her wish.
“You want a beer?” Joe, my oldest brother, asks as he waves smoke from his face standing in front of the barbeque. We’ve all told him a hundred times to lower the temperature on the grill so he doesn’t wind up in a smoke cloud that turns into a grill fire, but he’ll never freaking listen.
“Nico doesn’t drink when he trains.” Preach walks up behind me and slaps my shoulder as he speaks.
Joe’s eyebrows shoot up. “Why didn’t you tell me you finally decided to go back in the cage. It’s about time you stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back to work.”
“I haven’t decided to go back in the cage.” I shoot Preach a nasty look and he smirks at me. He knows he’s just unleashed at least an hour of lectures from my brothers and he isn’t sorry a damn bit.
“Oh. You still putting in six days a week?” Joe flips the burgers as he speaks and I see the flames start to shoot higher.
“Yeah.”
“Well then shit or get off the pot, bro.” Joe’s wife Lily walks over and yells at him to turn down the flame and he begrudgingly listens to her.
“It’s not that easy, Joe, and you know it.”
“Sure it is, asswipe. You open the cage door and you get in it. Then you kick the crap out of the idiot standing in the other corner of the ring.”
“Oh, is that all you do? Why didn’t you say so sooner?” The sarcasm dripping from my voice. I chug my water bottle and stare at my brother.
“Maybe I should kick your ass to get you warmed up.” Joe almost sounds like he thinks he really could.
I grin at Lily who walks up behind Joe and hands him a plate for the burgers he’s just massacred for us. She rolls her eyes at her husband’s threat. “Think that ship sailed a long time ago, honey.”
Joe turns to his wife. “You don’t think I can take that pretty boy anymore?”
Lily pats her husband on the chest, patronizing him. “Sure you can, baby.” Lily turns her attention back to me. “Nico, I have someone at work I’d like you to meet. How about you come over next weekend for a barbeque and I’ll invite her?” Lily looks down at the plate as Joe finishes loading it with charbroiled burgers. “On second thought, I’ll cook.” She winks at me.
Normally I’m open to meeting women. I don’t even ask the typical questions people want answered when they’re offered a fix up. I’ve always been an equal opportunity man, I like them in all shapes and sizes. “Can I get back to you Lil? I sort of met someone.”
Lily is surprised at my response. “You mean you’re seeing someone exclusively?” She emphasizes the word exclusively as if the concept was foreign to me.
“Not yet.”
“Well what’s stopping you?”
“She is.”
“Why don’t you just use your usual seek and conquer charm that you always do?” Lily is only half kidding with her comment.
“Because this one you have to earn.”
Lily shakes her head and mumbles something I can’t hear as she walks away laughing.
“Shit, bro, you’re screwed. The one’s you have to earn own you.”
***
Preach brings up the Kravitz fight at the table again and I endure another half hour of lectures and name calling from my brothers. It’s the first time that I’m seriously considering getting back in the cage in a long time. But Preach pissed me off, rallying my brothers on his side, so I don’t tell him. I’ll let him suffer a little while longer.
Chapter 11
Elle
As I drive to the restaurant to meet William, I regret agreeing to dinner so soon. Two days wasn’t enough time to sort out my head. I’m more confused now than I was a few days ago. I’ve made a mental checklist of reasons I should be with William. He’s every mother’s dream, tall, handsome, polite, smart, well educated, and kind. I even tried to make the same checklist of reasons I shouldn’t be with William, but after hours of trying to come up with something, that side of the page is still empty. At first I thought it was Nico clouding my judgment on William, but then I realized I’ve been at the same place with William since long before Nico Hunter stepped foot inside my office. Maybe I just need to put more effort into whatever it is William and I have.
As usual, William is at the same table we always sit at when I walk in. He’s surprised to see me on time. I smile at him, but put more effort into it than usual. Maybe this won’t be so hard to do. The look on his face tells me he’s happy to see me too. He tells me I look beautiful as he kisses me on the cheek and gives me a warm, be it quick, embrace. He’s a good man, I know he will make a good husband and father some day.
We order our drinks and William takes my hand on top of the table. It’s a bit outside of his norm. Public displays of affection aren’t something he prefers, which has always been just fine with me. Softly, his thumb caresses the top of my hand. I look at where our hands are joined and watch as his thumb strokes back and forth on the top of my hand. It feels...what does it feel like? Nice. Comfortable. What it doesn’t do is make my heart rate speed up. And it definitely doesn’t make the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up at attention.
My phone buzzes and I excuse myself to look at it. I lie that I’m waiting to hear from Regina about a call. But I’m stalling. Waiting for a sign on what the right decision is at the last minute of my self-imposed deadline.
I can’t stop thinking about you. Nico. My pulse quickens and I feel my palms start to sweat. I finally realize that all the lists I’ve made didn’t help me decide because they’ve been about William and the problem isn’t with William. It’s me. I don’t feel what I should feel about him, no matter how hard I want to.
I set my phone aside and don’t respond to the text. William reaches for my hand and I pull it back. I force my eyes from the table and look up at William. He sees what I’m thinking in my face. He’s a good attorney, knows how to read people, especially me. I finally stop stalling and make my decision. Even if Nico isn’t the one for me, William isn’t either and I’m not being fair to him.
Twenty minutes later I’m back in my car. Of course William was a perfect gentleman about it when I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. I’m not sure if it just didn’t upset him or if he’s good at covering his emotions. Either way, I’m wearing mine on my sleeve tonight. I’m going to put myself out there emotionally for the first time in ages. I’m scared, but excited a
t the same time.
In my car, I take out my phone to respond to Nico, but then put it away and decide to take a leap of faith. The restaurant is only ten minutes from Nico’s place. I drive with my head in a cloud, thinking about what I will say when I get there. He can’t stop thinking about me. I can’t stop thinking about him. Where it will take me I’m unsure, but maybe I can really give it a try. It’s the first time I even want to try.
I’m happy and excited the whole drive to his place. But when I arrive, I’m suddenly nervous. I think about sitting in my car for a few minutes and regaining my composure, but I know I’m stalling and if I give myself time to overthink it I’ll probably leave. I’m doing this. I walk briskly to the door and ring the bell and wait. Long minutes pass and I’m just about to turn around and chicken out when the door opens.
“Did you forget your key?” Nico is buttoning the top of his pants as he speaks and doesn’t look up right away. His hair is wet and he has no shirt or shoes on. I’m silent and I don’t move. My feet are stuck to the ground as I take in his naked chest for the first time.
“Elle?” Nico looks up and finds me standing there instead of whoever he was expecting.
I open my mouth to begin to speak, but a voice from behind me takes me by surprise. A woman’s voice. “Hey.” I turn. She’s beautiful. The woman standing behind me is smiling and beautiful. My chest tightens and I feel a huge knot in my throat. Then she turns to Nico. “You going to just stand there, or are you going to be a gentleman and take the packages so I don’t drop one?”
Nico takes the bags and the woman turns to me. “Sometimes you have to hit this one over the head to get him to snap out of it.” She smiles and tilts her head to the side, assessing me. “I’m Lily.”
Nausea overwhelms me. I didn’t stop to think that Nico might have company when I decided to drop by unannounced. I smile apologetically to the woman who is still smiling at me. Oddly, she doesn’t seem bothered that a woman is standing at his door as she arrives with groceries in her arms.
Feeling the wind knocked out of me, I respond as loud as I can, but it still comes out as little more than a whisper. “I’m sorry. I should have called first.” I look at Nico and then to Lily and quickly turn to go. I’m embarrassed and I want to run home and throw up in privacy.
Before I can take my first step, Nico grabs my arm. “Elle, wait. Don’t go.” He looks confused. I want to shrink down and crawl in a hole somewhere.
“Elle?” The woman asks and I must look at her as confused as Nico is looking at me.
I look back at Nico, at his hold on my arm, and back up to his face. “Really, it’s fine. I should have called. I’m sorry I interrupted.” I look at Lily apologetically and then back at Nico.
Something passes over Nico’s face. A look of understanding and he smiles at me. There’s a glint in his eye and he looks amused. Suddenly, my embarrassment turns to pissed that he hasn’t released my arm and he finds my uncomfortableness amusing.
“Elle.” Nico waits until I look up at him and he has my full attention before he continues. “This is my sister-in-law Lily. She was just dropping something off.” He turns to Lily to speak. “Goodbye, Lily.”
“I could stay for a little while.” Lily offers and I hear her smile in her words even though I don’t turn to look at her.
Nico never takes his eyes off of me as he speaks to Lily. “Bye, Lily.”
Lily giggles and turns to leave. She takes a few steps but then turns back to say something. “I’m going. But you better bring her to next month’s dinner.”
Nico shakes his head and smiles at me as he steps aside. “Come in.”
We walk through the dark gym and into the elevator that leads to his loft. Nico reaches up to pull down the gate and I watch as the muscles in his back ripple as he extends his reach high. Every inch of his back is defined and two large tattoos cover each shoulder blade.
After the gate reaches the floor Nico turns and catches me checking out his back. There is heat in his eyes, it makes my breath catch the way he looks at me. He takes one step toward me and stops, but doesn’t turn around to face the front of the elevator. He takes a second step, closing the distance between us almost completely. My instinct is to take a step back, to keep hold of my personal space, but I don’t. I stand my ground and look up at him. My heart is beating so loudly I’m sure he can hear it.
Nico slowly bends his head and buries his head close to my neck. Arms at his side, he doesn’t touch me, but he’s in my space. He takes a deep inhale and I know that he’s taking in my scent. There’s something incredibly erotic about when he takes a deep breath in, as if he needs to absorb me into his every sense. When he speaks, his voice is guttural and low, his hot breath lands on my neck and sends a shiver down my spine, straight through to the tips of my toes. “You’re here.”
I look up at him. “I am.” My voice is soft, but I can tell by the smirk on his face that he hears me just fine.
“Does that mean not really is a no then?” His face is serious now.
“Ask me again.” I grin up at the handsome face that is towering over me, invading my personal space.
“Are you seeing anyone?”
“No.” My response is assertive.
“Yes. You are.”
I’m confused. “I am?”
“I don’t share Elle.”
“Oh.” Oh my.
My pulse races as he slowly lowers his head and brushes his lips against mine ever so softly. The gentleness of his touch makes me want to pull him to me and slam my mouth into his so that I can be sure it really just happened. But I don’t. I’m too mesmerized by this man and want to see what he does next.
Nico pulls his head back slightly, but doesn’t step out of my personal space. “We’re going to try this again.” He searches my eyes before he continues. “Are you seeing anyone Elle?”
“Yes?”
Nico smirks. “You don’t sound so sure of your answer, Babe.”
“Will you kiss me again if I get it right?”
My response amuses him and he drops his head laughing. “A lawyer. Do you negotiate everything?”
I stop and think before answering. “I do.”
Nico smiles at my truthful answer. His eyes close and he leans his forehead to mine. “God you smell so damn good.”
***
I’ve never seen a body like his so close before. It just doesn’t seem real. Both of his arms are covered in tattoos, it looks like he’s wearing colorful sleeves, only he has no shirt on. They intertwine and wrap around his bulging biceps and I get the urge to trace a path from the first splat of ink to the last with my tongue. My body’s reaction to him is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. These aren’t feelings that I’m used to, they seem to come out of nowhere and are uncontrollable.
One side of Nico’s lip curls up slightly, as though he is amused at my staring. He hands me a glass of wine without asking if I want one and I take it because I need it to calm my nerves. I’m here staring at this bigger than life man, and suddenly I’m speechless.
The wine can’t seep into my bloodstream quick enough. Half the glass is gone in one long, unladylike gulp.
“Thirsty?” I look up at him and find a glimmer of amusement in Nico’s eyes, mixed with something else. I think he knows I’m trying to calm myself and I fidget in my seat on the couch as he stands there looking so unaffected.
I ignore his question and set my glass down on the table at my side. I’m trained to steer a conversation. I can regain control here, it’s what I do. I push thoughts of wanting to lick his naked body out of my head and force my eyes to stay trained on his rugged face. “So tell me something about yourself, Nico Hunter. What do you like to do when you aren’t training?”
He cocks one eyebrow suggestively and looks even more amused. I feel my face redden at just his simple gesture. Instead of clearing my head, he now has me thinking about what he likes to do. And I feel the need to fan myself when a visual of him doing th
ose things to me assaults my brain.
Nico laughs and takes the few steps to close the space between us, settling next to me on the couch. He brushes a stray lock of hair from my face, pushing it gently behind my ear. There’s a devilish glint in his eye because he knows what he’s doing to me. He slips one large hand behind my neck, easily cupping it in his palm and his thumb remains in the front in the hollow of my neck slowly stroking small circles.
Without thinking, I lift my hands and touch his bare chest and my eyes drift closed at the hard warm feeling under my fingers. I feel the rhythm of his breathing as his chest rises and falls rapidly and I don’t even realize my hands have slowly begun moving, feeling the hard corded muscle from his pectoral to just above his belly button. There isn’t an ounce of fat on the man anywhere and I get the urge to dig my nails in and score him. It’s totally out of character for me, the feeling comes from somewhere deep within me. A place I’ve cut off access to a long time ago.
Nico puts a finger under my chin and forces my gaze up to his eyes. My knees feel like jelly and my mouth is parted when I look up into his beautiful green eyes. I see a reflection of my need and I have to clench my thighs together to stop the tingle between my legs, but I can’t move. No one’s ever looked at me the way he looks at me. I feel a silent rumble in my gut and I know something’s just changed in me forever. I’ll never be able to go back to comfortable and nice after feeling whatever it is burning between us. It scares the hell out of me and draws me in at the same time.
I watch as Nico closes his eyes and reopens them a few seconds later. I can see he’s composing himself, and I feel weak that I don’t have the strength to do the same. But I don’t care. “Did you eat?”
I shake my head no. I went to a restaurant, but I never made it to dinner.