by Vi Keeland
“Again, I’m sorry,” I said.
I started to get up planning to return to my room, humiliated. Just then, I felt a firm grip on my wrist, and the return of his voice shook me. “Where are you going?”
“Back to my room.”
He pushed me back down gently and released his grasp. “Just stay.”
Huh? My heart beat faster.
“Stay? What do you mean?”
“I mean…you were comfortable here. Just stay.”
“You’re not mad at me?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t say that. You shouldn’t have been snooping.”
“I know. I really am sorry.”
Jake didn’t respond to my apology. Instead, he walked over to the door, closed it and shut off the light. I looked at the digital clock, which said 11:30. It was later than I thought. Only the streetlights outside illuminated the room now, as he removed his wet jacket and threw it on the floor. Then, he pulled his t-shirt over his head and was completely shirtless.
Oh…wow…okay.
I bit down on my bottom lip hard, and my body trembled as he approached the bed.
Yeah, this was more like the dream I had imagined.
“Scoot over,” he said in a low voice.
I turned to my side and moved to the right, tucking my arms under my chin.
An indescribable sensation came over me when I felt his warm rock hard chest up against my back. Then, he put his arm around my waist. He was…spooning me.
Holy shit.
I closed my eyes, breathing in the masculine smell of his body: sweat mixed with cologne and rain, and I hoped he couldn’t sense my nerves. The room was completely silent aside from the sound of the rain pelting the window, but I felt like he would be able to hear my heart beating through my ears.
His breathing was heavy, and I could feel it on my neck. At one point, I inadvertently moved and brushed up against the metal of his lip ring and it caused me to flinch.
He spoke low against my back, his voice vibrating through me. “You’re moving around a lot. You okay with this, Nina? Would you rather go back to your bed?”
“No. I want to stay.”
He had no idea how much.
“Good.” His body seemed to relax further into mine after I said that I wanted to stay. His nose was buried in my hair and I could feel him smelling me. He gripped my waist and the heat of his breath behind me continued to make me crazy. My underwear was completely soaked from the need developing between my legs.
I didn’t understand what the spooning meant or really, how such an innocent thing could make my body respond this way. I just knew that it felt amazing to be so close to him and that my emotions were going haywire. Those butterflies in my stomach? They were forming a conga line right about now.
After getting a glimpse inside his mind through those drawings and after bonding with him in the elevator last week, lying next to him like this was the most intimate experience I had ever had.
“Jake?”
“Yeah.”
“I really am sorry for invading your privacy.”
After a long pause, he said into my hair, “It’s okay, Nina.”
“Thank you.”
“Nina?”
“Yeah?”
“Your underwear drawer might get rearranged this week. That’s all I’m sayin.”
My back moved against his mouth as I giggled. I started to relax, and minutes later, I fell asleep in his arms.
CHAPTER 9
Two weeks later, and things with Jake were stranger than ever. I hadn’t slept in his bed ever again after that night, and we never spoke about the spooning or the drawings I discovered. The morning after I slept in his room, I woke to an empty bed because he had already left for work.
He tutored me a couple of more times and made no effort to take things any further with me those nights alone in his room. He was basically acting like nothing ever happened. As a protective mechanism, I had convinced myself that this was for the best. In reality, his indifference made me furious and unfortunately, even more physically attracted to him, if that was possible.
The only positive thing to come out of the anger I felt was that it made me focus harder on my studies. I was now in a secret mental competition with him, determined to get an A on my next math exam. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of taking me on another expedition of fear and felt like I needed to prove myself. At least, it was a positive way to channel the sexual frustration.
That’s not to say I didn’t close my eyes at night and imagine him lying behind me. Knowing what that actually felt like now was a curse. Keeping my feelings in check was so much easier before that night. But I was also determined to move on from my infatuation with Jake.
So, one Monday afternoon after math class when Alistair asked me for a date the following Friday night, my response was, “Sure, why not?” Jake would be on his way to Boston by the time Alistair came to pick me up from the apartment, so there would be no awkwardness. Not that Jake would even care, but it made me feel better knowing that he wouldn’t be there to scrutinize my date. Alistair was pretty much the polar opposite of Jake except for the fact that they were both really smart.
***
The Wednesday evening before the Friday of my date, I had come home late from school to find Ryan, Tarah and Jake sitting in the living room watching television. It was unusual for everyone to be home at once.
I silently waved hello to them without making eye contact and went straight to my room. I was in a pissy mood and had spent the greater part of the walk home angry at myself for obsessing over Jake again. And when Mrs. Ballsworthy told me to “fuck off” on the way in, for the first time, I loudly returned the sentiment; that’s how bad of a mood I was in.
Once in my room, I tore off my clothes and changed into my favorite pink sweatpants and put on a comfortable t-shirt. I was about to start a new book on my Kindle when Jake appeared at the doorway.
He stretched his arms up and touched the top of the threshold. Why did he have to look like a tattooed trophy and smell so good? His shirt rode up, showcasing his washboard stomach as he stood there before me saying, “What…you don’t say hello anymore?”
“Jake, I’m not in the mood.”
He walked slowly toward me. “What’s gotten into you?”
I didn’t say anything in response, so he continued, “Or is the problem that… nothing…or no one…has gotten into you lately?”
I put down my Kindle in shock. That bastard. “What did you just say?”
He held up his hands. “Relax, Nina. It was just a joke! You know, you’re being uptight. Uptight people need to get laid? Just a joke.”
I threw a pillow at him. “Get out.”
He threw it back at me. “Fuck. I was only kidding. You used to appreciate my sick sense of humor,” he said, looking seriously pissed.
“Well, I didn’t think that was funny.”
“Why have you been so weird lately?” he yelled.
“I’m being weird?”
He glared at me. “Yes, Nina, you are.”
I huffed. “Whatever.”
Jake just shook his head before walking out and slamming his bedroom door.
I put my head in my hands regretting what just happened. Was it me? Was I being a bitch to him these past couple of weeks and treating him differently because I somehow felt rejected by him? Did I make the spooning thing out to be something that it wasn’t?
Maybe I needed to control my feelings better, because losing him as a friend was not an option; There were so few people I could count on here in New York, and I needed him in my life.
I immediately got up and was going to walk down the hall to apologize when we knocked right into each other as he was passing my room.
“Ow,” I said rubbing my nose.
He briefly held onto my shoulders. “Watch it there, Speedy.”
“I was actually coming to apologize. I think I have been a little testy lately. I gue
ss I am just stressed out about school and the math exam today.”
He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have said that to you, Nina.” His eyes were sincere, and I could tell he meant it.
“It’s okay. I know you were just joking.”
Jake stuck out his hand. “Truce?”
“Truce,” I said, relishing the warmth of his firm grip on my hand and wishing that his idea of a truce involved more than just a handshake, something like…oh…sucking on his bottom lip.
Yeah, I was a lost cause.
He let go of my hand, and we walked down the rest of the hallway to the kitchen together.
Ryan shut off the television that he and Tarah had been watching in the adjacent living room. “Tarah and I are going down to Eleni’s for some grub. You guys wanna come?”
Jake was drinking straight out of an orange juice container when he stopped and looked over at me awaiting my response.
“No, thanks. I am not that hungry…gonna just stay here and read,” I said.
Jake then waved his hand. “Nah, man, I’ll pass too.”
“Okay, ya’ll. Suit yourselves!” Tarah said as she and Ryan left the apartment.
When the door slammed shut, Jake walked over to the sofa and turned on the television. It was a rare sight, since he spent most of his time holed up in his room listening to music. He was channel surfing, spreading his long legs out onto the coffee table and looked over toward the kitchen at me. “Isn’t your test grade supposed to be in by now?”
“Yes.” I smiled guiltily, knowing it was most definitely in. I had been putting off finding out what it was.
“Did you check?”
“No.”
Without saying anything, Jake left and returned from down the hall with his laptop. “Come on, Nina…it’s d-day. I can’t wait to take you on this next one. Is it wrong I’m hoping for a suck-ass grade?”
“Yes…very wrong,” I said as I opened the laptop.
He was rubbing his hands together, in taunting anticipation.
“Are you trying to start a fire with those hands of yours?”
“Just gearing up for the inevitable.”
“Thanks for the confidence,” I said as I typed in the password.
“It’s gonna be a good one. You should be hoping for a C.”
Jake’s excitement about our next little adventure gave me mixed feelings to say the least.
As I scrolled down, once again, I noticed Alistair’s name before mine.
Alistair York: 90. Well, whattya know, he’s not perfect after all.
Jake leaned in. His breath hitched because he saw it before I did:
Nina Kennedy: 94.
Holy crap!
When I saw my name, I had to blink multiple times to make sure it was real. I was speechless as I turned to him.
Jake’s dimpled smile was bigger than the Joker’s, and he threw his head back. “Nina Kennedy…you fucking rock, girl,” he said as he pulled me into him hard for a congratulatory hug.
I closed my eyes and relished the heat and familiarity of being in his arms again amidst the excitement I felt at having achieved what I thought was virtually impossible. It was euphoric. My heart was beating fast against his chest.
He pulled back with his arms still on mine, and his eyes sparkled as he shook me. “Nina…you did it! You fucking did it! We have to celebrate.”
“Jake, you did this. I can’t thank you enough for all your help.”
I wanted to kiss him.
He kept smiling at me, then said, “Where do you wanna go? What do you want to do? Anything you want.”
I want to feel you inside of me.
“Actually, I know just what I want to do right now,” I said.
“What?”
“I wanna make you your favorite dessert.”
“No…come on. You shouldn’t have to cook tonight.”
“I want to,” I said. “I owe you big time for this, and I could really go for some myself. Plus, all the ingredients are still in the cabinet from last time.”
“Well, if you insist. Your Bananas Foster is like crack, so you’re not gonna hear any argument from me.”
“I didn’t think I would.”
As I gathered the pan, rum, spices and bananas, Jake leaned over the counter following me with his eyes as I moved around the kitchen.
“I am a little bummed about the excursion you’re gonna miss. It was going to be killer. But there’s always next time,” he said.
“Now you’ve got me curious about what was in store for me. Something tells me I dodged a massive bullet.”
His grin said it all. “You have no idea.”
“You’re evil,” I said, throwing a banana at him, which he caught. “You can peel. I’ll cut.”
“I can handle that. I’m good at stripping off layers slowly,” he said winking.
“I thought we established you were not, in fact, an exotic dancer.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t give private shows.”
I must have momentarily lost my mind. Even though I laughed at him, the mental images that emerged made my cutting of the bananas faster and harder. And just like that, the knife I was using slipped and plunged deeply right into my finger.
“Ow…shit!” I screamed. “Ow!”
Blood gushed out, and the pain was excruciating. Jake immediately got up grabbing my hand. “Shit. Nina!”
“Ooh, ow, ow,” I cried.
What happened in rapid succession over the next ten seconds nearly undid me. He looked around for a towel and didn’t find one. On instinct he wrapped my finger in the bottom of his shirt and squeezed it. When he lifted it out and saw that it was still bleeding badly, he took my finger into his mouth and held it there, sucking it hard to stop the bleeding.
Took.My.Finger.And.Sucked.It.
Remember that saying about experiencing pain to attain a pleasure you have never experienced before? Well, I think for the first time in my life, I actually got it.
He was completely serious, mind you, in those seconds of applying pressure to my wound. He was just trying to get the bleeding to stop. It wasn’t meant to be a turn on, but of course, everything Jake did had that effect on me whether he knew it or not, and well, this just put me over the edge.
It was not an exaggeration to say those seconds of my finger being trapped in his hot mouth while he breathed rapidly over it, were more exciting than full-on sex with Spencer had ever been, ten fold. The competing sensations of pleasure and pain were something I had never experienced together at the same time.
His mouth made a popping sound as he released my finger to the cold air, and there was a tiny bit of my blood on his lip. He took off his now stained shirt and wrapped it firmly around my finger. I couldn’t help staring at his body. It looked as if it were carved from stone.
The bleeding had slowed, but it had not stopped. “We’ll wrap it in this for now,” he said, holding my finger tightly in his shirt.
“You have some blood.” I nervously lifted my fingertip to his bottom lip, grazing the ring and wiping it lightly. “Right here.”
Instead of wiping it with his free hand, he slid his tongue back and forth slowly across his bottom lip, licking away the rest as he looked at me. My heart skipped a beat. It was so strangely erotic, and my body became fully aware. He stared into my eyes as he held my wrapped finger, and I felt something shift. I couldn’t put my finger on it (no pun intended), but something felt different between us in that moment. It was a feeling I had definitely never experienced before.
The room was completely quiet as he broke the stare, looking down at my wrapped finger. He cleared his throat, his voice was thick, “I’m gonna see what we have in the bathroom for first aid.”
Still in a state of bewilderment, I nodded but said nothing, as he ran down the hall, returning with gauze, peroxide and bandages. Removing the shirt from my finger, he carefully treated the area with some peroxide on a cotton ball. I tried to look down at the wound and not at his bare c
hest as he blew on the cut before wrapping it in gauze, followed by a bandage to hold it together.
“That should do it for now,” he said before releasing my hand. “You may want to take a look at it tomorrow. If it looks worse, there is a walk-in down the street. Hopefully, you won’t need stitches.”
I felt like I lost more than blood in this process, like perhaps my ability to speak. “Okay,” I muttered.
The look in Jake’s eyes was sincere. “I am sorry you got hurt trying to do something nice for me.”
Not knowing exactly how to respond, I smiled and said, “I am sorry you had to suck my blood like a vampire.”
His gaze stayed on mine, and it made me uneasy only because he wasn’t laughing at my joke. “I wouldn’t do that for just anyone, Nina.”
My lip twitched in response, and I laughed nervously, not really knowing what to make of that statement. What I did know was that tonight was not helping my vow to get over him one single bit. “Thanks.”
Jake started clearing out what bananas I had managed to cut. “I’m gonna get a new shirt,” he said. “Why don’t you change, and we’ll meet Tarah and Ryan downstairs.”
“I don’t know…”
“Come on, we’re supposed to be celebrating your exam, and those bananas are toast. I’ve ate enough blood for one night.”
I threw a piece of banana at him. “Very funny.”
He was unphased. “What do you say?”
There was no way I could say no. “Okay, I’ll change.”
About ten minutes later, he came out of the bathroom with a fresh coating of cologne. His hair was wet, and he was wearing a maroon colored long sleeve shirt that hugged his chest and black pants that hugged his ass. He looked and smelled amazing.
I had put on a black button down shirt, dark colored jeans and the six-inch heels I usually wore whenever I was feeling inexplicably inadequate. Somehow adding height seemed to give me a false sense of power when I felt I needed it. I didn’t know why I was nervous about going downstairs with Jake. Something just felt different tonight between us. Maybe it was the sucking of the blood thing. I dunno.