by Vi Keeland
“So, you see, it’s really not that bad,” she says, looking up at me.
I know it could have been much worse, but I also know that what happened to her changed the course of her life even more than it had already when she lost her mother. And even if she doesn’t want to admit it, I know that the loss of her mom when she was so young has a lot to do with her avoiding any type of relationship with people.
“Sophie, what happened to you was bad,” I confirm.
“Not as bad as it could have been,” she says softly. “I always knew it could have been worse, but I never understood to what extreme. After hearing what happened to some of the women in my group, I understand now, and I’m even more thankful. I hate that I’ve been so weak.”
“You did what you had to do to protect yourself.”
“I didn’t though. I hid out in my house, afraid to meet new people or even date.”
“You moved to another state all alone,” I remind her.
“Only because I wanted to buy a house.”
“You can say you did it because you wanted to buy a house, but I think you did it because you were ready to change your life. You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
“I don’t know,” she mumbles, nervously playing with the pocket of my T-shirt.
“I do. Look at how you are with me.”
“You’re sweet.” She smiles, running her fingers along my jaw.
I’m glad she sees me that way; I never want her to be afraid of me “You tryin’ to ruin my street cred?”
She doesn’t answer. She just looks down at Daisy, who’s now cuddled up between us. When her eyes come up, mine narrow on her.
“What?” She smiles.
“You tryin’ to say my dog isn’t badass?”
“Um…” She starts to laugh, “I never said anything like that.”
“You said it all with your eyes.”
“I didn’t. I swear!” She laughs, and I run a finger down the center of her face, feeling my eyes go soft before leaning in to kiss her.
“You are a lot stronger than you think, and that’s why, tomorrow, we’re going to my parents’ house.”
“I can’t,” she says, and I’m done talking about this.
I roll her to her back, pinning her underneath me. Her chest begins rising and falling rapidly, and I slide to the side, keeping her hands where they are with one on mine. My eyes stay locked on hers as I slowly slide my T-shirt she’s wearing up until her tits are exposed. I have been gradually teaching her about sex. When I take her for the first time, I want her to know what to expect. I never want her to be afraid of me for any reason.
“Jesus,” I whisper, looking at her tits—large, over a handful, nipples firm and dark pink. I lean forward, pulling first one then the other into my mouth, licking and biting. Her body starts wiggling under mine, her moans becoming louder, her nails digging into my scalp. “You want me to make you come?” I ask, biting down on her nipple while pinching her other one.
“Yes,” she moans, her head pressing back into the pillow, her body arching.
I squeeze her breast before running my palm down her stomach along the edge of her shorts and dipping under, my fingers meeting smooth skin the whole way. Knowing she is completely bare has me gritting my teeth. I slide one finger over her clit, circling as I watch her face; her eyes pop open and meet mine. She looks gorgeous like this—her face flushed, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth, her breasts quickly rising and falling. Sliding one finger lower, I enter her slowly, studying her expression. She’s so tight and wet that my already-hard dick jumps, wanting to see for itself what she would feel like wrapped around it.
“Oh God, Nico,” she moans, her eyes closing again.
I start to move my finger a little quicker, and then I add another one, using my thumb to press and roll her clit. When I suck her nipple into my mouth, she cries out as her pussy pulls my fingers deeper, her body grinding down on my hand before shaking and going limp.
“Holy cow,” she breathes, opening her eyes.
I lean forward to kiss her, my fingers still between her legs moving in slow stokes. I gently pull my fingers out before bringing them to my mouth, licking them clean and kissing her once again.
“You’re fucking beautiful, baby, but watching you get off is mind-blowing.”
Her head comes forward, her face going into my neck. I hold her for a few minutes, just enjoying her smell and the way she feels tucked next to me.
“I need to eat.” I watch her eyes heat. “Food, baby,” I tell her, smiling before fixing her shirt and pulling her out of bed.
“But…I want to touch you,” she says, tugging against my hand that’s pulling her towards the kitchen.
“You will, just not tonight,” I tell her, fighting my body for control.
“Why not?”
“I need to eat, and then tomorrow, we’re gonna have a busy day when I introduce you to my family, so we’ll need a good night’s sleep.”
“I’m not ready,” she whimpers, and I just shake my head, guiding her down the hall.
“I’m done talking about this. You’re going to meet my family,” I state.
“But—”
“No buts, baby. It’s past time.” I lead her into the kitchen, where I heat the food she left out for me for the second time. She watches quietly; I can see the wheels in her head spinning. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“I can’t meet your family,” she says quietly.
“Yes, you can, and you are going to.”
“What if I have a breakdown or something?”
“I’ll be there with you,” I say, looking her straight in the eyes.
“Your family will think I’m nuts.” She shakes her head.
“They’re nuts, so they won’t even notice that you’re nuts.”
“I’m not nuts. Don’t say that.” She smacks my arm.
I grab her hand, bringing it to my mouth and kissing it. “Sophie, relax. They will love you,” I say soothingly.
“How do you know that?”
“I just do.”
We sit in the kitchen while I eat and she watches me closely. When I finish, we go back to my room. She gets into bed, while I make quick work in the shower before pulling on a pair of sweats and climbing into bed with her.
“It will be okay,” I reassure her, kissing the top of her head and pulling her closer to me.
“Okay,” she says quietly.
I listen to her breathing even out before I follow her to sleep.
When I wake up, the sun is just starting to shine through the window. I look around, seeing that Sophie isn’t in bed; I listen, trying to see if I can hear her somewhere in the house.
“Soph?” I call, and nothing. I feel my eyebrows draw together, and I sit up in bed. “Soph?” I call again, and this time, Daisy comes into the room. That’s when I know she took off.
Getting out of bed, I walk into the kitchen. The house is quiet; her bag, which was on the bar last night, is now gone, along with her keys.
“Fuck,” I whisper, running my hands down my face. I can’t believe I slept through her leaving. I have always been a light sleeper, and the one time that shit would have come in handy, I fucking slept like the dead.
I walk back to the room, pick up my phone, and hit dial on her number. When it goes right to voicemail, my blood pressure starts to rise. “Call me back,” I demand then toss my phone on the bed before pulling a pair of jeans, a shirt, and boots on. Once dressed, I head to the kitchen, feed Daisy and grab the keys for my bike, go to my garage and pull the tarp off my Harley, and hop on before using my feet to back it out of the driveway.
I stop at her house first, knowing full-well she won’t be here. I get off my bike and let myself inside using the key she gave me a few weeks ago. She’s had a key to my place almost from the start. After our first run-in with my neighbor, Sophie decided she should be the one watching Daisy when I go out of town. I’m cool wit
h that; Deb is harmless, but still. If it makes Sophie feel more secure, I am down with it.
I walk into her house, seeing that everything’s the same as it always is. She keeps her place in order, except for her bedroom, which, as usual, has clothes and shoes scattered all over the place. I look around, trying to gauge if she’s been back here since leaving my house. Her overnight bag is on the bed, and I take a few steps and open it up. The first thing I see is my shirt. I shake my head, digging around for a few more seconds. Not finding anything helpful, I shove everything back inside before heading out to search around town.
The longer I look, the more pissed I become. I have called her on and off all day, and she hasn’t answered or returned my calls. The more hours that pass without hearing from her, the more tightly wound and worried I become. When I left her place this morning, I placed a piece of tape on the edge of the door to let me know if she returned home, and so far, she hasn’t. I decide to go home and feed Daisy before going back to Sophie’s to camp out until she gets there.
I look at the clock on the wall when the front door opens. It’s after three in the morning. I sit forward on the couch, watching as she puts her bag down near the door then kicks off her shoes so they go flying towards her room. When she finally sees me, she screams out and backs up into her closed door, holding her chest. I notice that her eyes are red and puffy. Knowing that she has been crying all day about some dumb shit she talked herself into only pisses me off more.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, pushing a hand through her hair.
“What am I doing here? Is that really the question you want to fucking ask me right now?” My eyebrows come together.
“Look, I’m sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” she says as I stand.
“You don’t think we should see each other anymore,” I repeat, walking towards her in measured steps.
“That’s what I just said. I just… I just don’t think this is working out,” she stutters, looking past me, probably wondering if she could make it if she bolts.
My eyes narrow on her before I reply. “You’re mine, Sophie. I don’t give a fuck what you think or what the excuse is you try to give me, but you are mine.” I let out a growl as I press her into the wall. I’m so pissed I can’t even see straight. “You snuck out of my bed then out of the house. Do you know how worried I’ve been?”
“You shouldn’t have been,” she says shakily.
“I shouldn’t be worried about my woman when she sneaks out of my bed and is gone until three in the morning?”
“Well…I—” She tries to look away, so I force her face back towards mine with my hand on her jaw.
“That was fucked up,” I tell her, pronouncing the last two words clearly and slowly.
“I’m sorry. I just don’t think this is working out,” she tries again.
“You said that already, and it’s bullshit. You’re just afraid and using it as an excuse to push me away. I told you before. You run, I chase.”
“You’re insane,” she says, trying to wiggle free.
“Probably, but that doesn’t change the fact you’re mine. I’m done with the bullshit, Sophie,” I growl in her ear, my grip on her tightening.
“It’s not bullshit.”
“Baby, you’re not listening to me.”
“I am! You just said the way I feel is bullshit,” she argues.
“No, you pushing me and anyone else who tries to get close to you away is bullshit.”
“You can’t say that.”
“Fuck if I can’t. You have been doing it from the start, pushing me away while holding on tight. I told you yesterday. I’m done with it.”
“I’m not ready!” she yells in my face, catching me off guard.
“When, huh?” I ask, pressing her deeper into the wall. “What do you need? Ten more years? In ten years, will you be ready to try to live again? Or will you find some other excuse?” I roar my questions.
“Stop it,” she says softly, tears filling her eyes.
“No, Sophie, I’m not going to stop. I need you with me, but in order for that to happen, I need you to want us as much as I do. I need you to stop letting your fears run you.”
“I’m afraid!” she cries.
“You think I don’t know that? I won’t let anything happen to you,” I tell her gently, pulling her body against mine.
“What if I lose you too?” She whispers the words, and my heart cracks open. I knew that this was one of the things holding her back, and I am fucking happy that she is finally realizing it.
“You won’t.” I hold her tight as her body sags against mine, and I say a silent prayer that she is finally getting it. “No more running, Sophie,” I say, running my hand down her back. “From now on, we figure this out together.”
“I’m sorry I ran and that you were worried,” she apologizes quietly.
“It’s fine.” I hold her a little tighter, breathing in her smell. “You need to pack some shit so we can go home,” I tell her after a few minutes.
“I’m home.”
“We’re going to my house, where you will be staying more often than not from now on,” I state.
“You can’t just decide that,” she says, shaking her head.
“I didn’t just decide that. I decided it a long time ago.” I step away from her, turning her towards her room. “Now, go pack so we can go home. I’m fucking exhausted after searching for your ass all over the city today.”
“You’re very annoying,” she says, walking to her bedroom.
I follow behind her, watching as she dumps the stuff in her overnight bag onto the bed. “You stole my shirt.”
“What?” she asks, looking over her shoulder.
“You stole my shirt,” I repeat, picking up my shirt off the bed and showing it to her.
“I must have forgotten about it.” She looks away quickly, making me smile.
“Admit it, baby. You were taking a piece of me with you.”
“You are so full of yourself,” she says with fake exasperation.
“Whatever you say.” I laugh when her cheeks turn pink. I watch her put some stuff in the bag and notice how little she’s bringing. “That’s not enough,” I tell her when she starts to zip it up.
“It’s plenty.”
“No, pack more.”
I walk to her closet, grabbing another bag down from a high shelf. As I’m pulling it down, something hits me on top of my head before bouncing off and hitting the floor with a rubbery thud. Sophie squeaks before running towards me, grabbing whatever it is that hit me and putting it behind her back.
“What is that?”
“Nothing,” she answers, walking backwards.
“Really?” I place the bag on the bed before slowly following her.
“Nico, stop right there,” she says, her face becoming bright red.
“What’s behind your back, baby?”
“It’s nothing,” she says, her eyes growing bigger the closer I get to her. She starts to turn, and that’s when a big purple dildo fumbles out of her hands, bouncing once before rolling under the bed. “It’s not mine, I swear!” she says, looking distraught, holding up both her hands in front of her.
“It’s not your dildo?” I ask, trying not to laugh.
“No, it’s my friend’s.”
“You have your friend’s dildo?” I cock my head to the side.
“Yes,” she says, her shoulders slumping.
“So you’re telling me you keep a dildo…for your friend…in your closet?” I start to laugh.
“Oh God, that sounds really stupid.” She covers her face. “I mean, my friend got it for me.”
I bend down, picking it up from underneath the bed. The thing is not only bright purple with sparkles, but it has to be at least a foot long and three inches across.
“I’m going to kill Maggie,” she whispers with her eyes closed.
“Babe, I seriously hope you never tried to use this,” I say, turn
ing it over in my hand.
“Oh. My. God. Kill me now,” she groans, her eyes still closed.
“Baby.” I laugh so hard that tears start to fall from my eyes.
“No, I’m pretending that if I can’t see you, then this isn’t really happening,” she says, making me laugh harder than I have in my entire life.
“Look at me,” I finally wheeze out.
“Nuh-uh…” she mumbles, eyes still closed.
I drop the dildo to the bed before I put my hands in her hair and stop laughing. “Open your eyes, Sophie.”
“No.”
“Baby, please open your eyes.” I push her hair away from her face. “Hey,” I say when she finally opens them. “You know, with me, you never have to be embarrassed, right?”
“You say that, but a giant purple dildo just fell out of my closet and hit you on the head. That is the definition of a reason to be embarrassed.”
“You have to admit it’s pretty damn funny.” I chuckle, and her eyes narrow.
“I’m really going to kill Maggie,” she growls.
“Is that the only toy you have?” I ask, watching her eyes get wide.
“I don’t have toys.”
“Guess we’ll have to change that.”
“What?” she breathes, searching my face.
“Finish packing,” I tell her without saying anything else. My dick’s hard as fuck thinking about the things I’m going to show her. The image of fucking her with her wrists bound to my bed and clamps attached to her nipples has me groaning and shoving my face into her neck. “Please just finish packing.” I kiss her once on the side of her neck before stepping back.
“Okay,” she whispers shakily before going back to her bed to finish packing.
*
It’s after five in the morning by the time we reach my house. I park my bike back in the garage before helping Sophie carry her bags inside.
“Hey, girl.” Sophie stops to pick up Daisy, who is bouncing around at our feet. She follows me down the hall to my bedroom, talking to Daisy in a baby voice the whole way. I drop her bags into my closet, walk to Sophie to take Daisy from her hands, and set her outside the bedroom door before closing it. “What are you doing? She always sleeps with me when I’m here,” she says, her eyebrows drawing together.