“Did I? Was there no other choice?”
I shook my head firmly. “None. It was the only way.”
Nila bit her lip, her eyes overflowing with liquid. “But…he was the youngest. He couldn’t help that Bonnie and Cut called him a mistake. He couldn’t stop being ridiculed or believing in what he’d been told.”
What?
What did she know about our upbringing and who Daniel had become because of his childhood? I’d caught him hurting for fun, killing animals for a rush. I’d told him off for being so egotistical and crude. Kes dealt with Daniel’s fuck-ups more than I did because being around him was too hard. I’d slowly feed off the nastiness inside him. But because of my condition, I could wholeheartedly say he deserved what he got. Nila hadn’t killed him. Karma had.
“Putting tragic tales to villains is a sure way to destroy yourself when they force you to do something cruel in order to survive, Nila.”
Nila clenched her jaw, ready to argue. To judge herself into torment. Yet again another ripple of need, completely out of context to the situation, polluted the air.
Forcing her to twist and look at me, rather than Daniel, I cupped her cheeks. “Nila, listen to me. Don’t look for redemption in those who don’t deserve it. If you hadn’t fought back, he would’ve raped you and possibly killed you. You don’t know him—not like I do. And I can safely say, he deserved it.”
She sniffed, dropping her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jethro.”
“Sorry?” My heart thundered. “What for?” Letting her go, I marched toward the bed and whipped the sheet free. Wrapping her bottom nakedness, I guided her further away from the body. “Why the hell are you apologising?”
I’m the one who should.
I’m the one who left you on your own.
Her body quaked as she looked over her shoulder, unable to stop staring at Daniel. “Because…because I just killed your flesh and blood.”
I grabbed her waist, holding her tight. “I’m grateful. Not mad. Did you think I would care? Nila, I love you. Ever since you replied to my first text, my heart has put you above everyone in my family. I love you. And you’re killing me by hating yourself for doing what was needed.”
Softening my voice, I tucked her short black hair behind her ears, rubbing away her tears with a thumb. “Nila…he deserved to die. You need to trust me on that. You can’t hold his death inside you. You can’t feel responsible. I’m glad you ended him because if you hadn’t, I would’ve made his demise a lot fucking worse. You did the right thing—that’s all you need to know. Promise me that’s all you’ll remember?”
She sucked in a breath, leaning into my touch. “But—”
“No buts.”
My heart cracked at what she was going through. I wished I’d arrived sooner. Been the one to stab him and wear his life on my soul, pinned there for eternity. Anything to prevent her from feeling the pain of aftermath. However, I hadn’t been. And knowing Daniel had hurt her—taken something that didn’t belong to him—that was my punishment to bear.
I shook as my own hurt surfaced. I had no right to ask. Not now when she struggled. But I couldn’t stop the question falling from my lips. “Please…tell me one thing…and be truthful.”
Her eyes met mine. “Anything.”
I swallowed hard.
I swallowed again.
I lost courage but spoke anyway. “I know he touched you, Nila, you can’t hide that from me. But how badly did he rape you? How much do you hate me for letting that happen?”
I hated my question. How badly did he rape you? Were there gradients of rape? Every form, no matter how long or brutal, were equally as terrible.
Christ!
I wanted to kill myself for being so useless.
But I had another question. One I didn’t want to ask. Why did I feed off her overwhelming desire for sex? Why did she have such powerful thoughts when the current predicament was so inappropriate?
A slight pause, another lie formed. She shook her head. “I could never hate you. And I already told you. I stopped him—before…”
My shoulders sagged.
She rushed. “Jethro, don’t torture yourself. Let me keep some secrets. Let me choose which ones to tell you and which ones to let die.” Her voice cracked. “Please…you don’t need to know. Just…leave it. I’m sorry…”
I died a little as my condition flared into full reception. Her emotions told me everything I needed to know. He’d been inside her. And she’d defended herself the only way she could.
Fuck.
How could I ever forgive myself for this?
Would she want me now? Would she trust I could protect her?
My arms latched around her, crashing her face to my chest. “Goddammit, Nila. You put me to shame. For the rest of my life, I’ll make it up to you. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll stop all of this because I’m never letting you out of my sight again.”
She kissed my shirt, moaning in gratefulness as she finally allowed me to take some of the responsibility. Her fingers fluttered over my hips, questing more than just a hug…more violent affection.
Her thoughts begged me to give in. To grant her some relief from the intensity in her mind. But I couldn’t. Now was not the time.
“It’s over now. It’s done. You’re safe.”
For a moment, she let me soothe her. Her lustful taint gave way to sobs, and she crumpled deeper into my embrace. Together, we fell to the floor—me to my knees and Nila in my lap. I rocked her. I kissed her. I promised so many, many things.
Time ticked onward, putting seconds then minutes between her and taking Daniel’s life. Nothing else would be able to fix her—only time and distance.
Finally, the shock of killing left and her eyes opened to focus resolutely on Daniel. Any hint of desire disappeared with clear-headed determination. “Cut will be back for his turn soon.” Her voice shook. “What do I do, Kite? What do I do with the body?”
“You?” I laughed harshly. “You aren’t doing anything. You’ve done too much already.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I should’ve been there for you and I wasn’t. I’ll deal with this.”
Her skin turned frigid beneath my fingertips. “No, you have to go. If Cut sees you—”
“I don’t fucking care if he sees me.” Pushing Nila off my lap, I stood. Marching across the tent, I tore through her open suitcase and threw fresh knickers and leggings her way. “Put these on. And shoes. I’m going to get rid of Daniel and you’re coming with me.”
“But—”
I cut my hand through the air. “But nothing, Nila. I’m not letting you out of my sight. Got it?”
“But Jasmine and Kes. You have to think of them. Cut can’t know you’re still alive, he’ll—”
Kill me. Yes, I know.
But my life was worthless compared to hers. I would willingly trade it if it meant she walked away from this with no more bruises or battered memories. She’d already endured so much. She wore the marks of war, and I refused to let her endure more. I’d tried to save too many people. Kes would understand, and Jaz would expect me to do what was right.
This was right.
Nila was my only choice.
“Don’t worry about them. I know what I’m doing.” I glanced at my dead sibling, feeling nothing but relief. His cock taunted me with what he’d done to my woman. If he wasn’t already dead…he would die with severe mutilation to purge myself of the wrath in my blood.
“So…how will we dispose of the body?” Nila whispered.
My mind ran with scenarios. “We could cover him in liquor and make it seem like he drank himself into the grave.”
Nila swallowed. “Is that believable?” She looked at the floor where the long bloody weapon stuck to the tent covering. “I stabbed him in the heart with my knitting needle. The two wounds are small, but there. They’d know it wasn’t self-inflicted.”
She killed him with a needle?
An awed smile lit my face. “You’re so fucking strong.�
�
She glanced away, despair still prominent.
I rubbed my face, willing tiredness and pain to fade so I could come up with a solution.
Think.
Where could I put him that Cut wouldn’t find him?
The diamond mine!
The idea sprang from schematics to doable. “We can make it look like an accident. I can bury him in the mine. Make it look like he fell.”
Nila paused, tasting my plan, nibbling at it for flaws.
“Shit, that won’t work.” I shook my head. “I couldn’t get him there without someone hearing the Jeep.” My eyes narrowed, rushing forward with a new idea.
Then, it came to me.
Africa would take care of it for me.
I snapped my fingers with decision. “I know what to do.”
Nila opened her mouth to argue, but I stormed across the room and grabbed her face. I couldn’t help myself. She was so fucking courageous. Her emotions so clear. Her love so deep. Her passion so pure. Not one inch of terror or hate that I hadn’t been there for her. Not one smidgen of hostility or judgement.
She’s so damn selfless.
I kissed her.
The instant my lips touched hers, it was if a nuclear explosion mushroomed inside her. The lust I’d gleaned in her mind erupted into full force, drowning everything. Her tongue snaked into my mouth, decaying my resolve not to touch her.
Dropping the clothes I’d given her, she groaned long and low, her mouth tempting mine to give more. The sheet fluttered from her hips as her naked leg twined around my hip, grinding against me.
“Fuck…” I stumbled forward as she turned crazed with desire. I’d never felt such passion pouring from her. “Nila…wait…”
Her tongue shot swifter, sexier into my mouth. Kissing. Licking. Demanding I respond.
“Nila…”
“No, Jethro. Give me this. I need this.” Her lips recaptured mine, pulling me under.
“Shit.” It all suddenly made sense. The clouded residue on her thoughts. The flowing undercurrent of something stronger than death and pain. She wanted sex. She needed sex.
They’d drugged her.
They’d given her the same thing they’d given me when I was fifteen. Something so potent and heady no one could say no to the aphrodisiac power.
Goddammit.
My gut twisted into a knot as her tongue licked and flicked. I forced myself not to listen to her tainting thoughts—I didn’t want the urgent need to fuck to consume me. But my cock thickened, drawn to her even as I tried to battle the rapidly building need. “How—how did you fight it for so long? How did you stop?”
Her hands flew up my t-shirt, skirting over my wound, dancing over my skin like compelling butterflies. “Stop talking. Please…give me what I want. I need to feel alive. I need to take back what Daniel tried to steal. Please, Jethro. Please, fuck me.”
The memory of our first kiss in her room—the way she’d chopped my resolve to pieces with her demands to kiss her, fired into lustful flames.
Kiss me.
Fuck me.
She’d fought him; she’d killed him, even while under the influence. If she were anyone else, she would’ve willingly submitted. She would’ve enjoyed whatever Daniel did because her body would’ve given her no other choice. The drugs were beyond powerful, but somehow she’d been able to fight them along with fighting my brother’s advances.
I don't deserve this woman.
This Weaver. This answer to my wrongness. This salvation to my condemnation.
“Jethro…please.” Her kiss deepened.
“Goddammit.” In a vicious yank, I plucked her into my arms and stalked to the bed. Her hands flew into my hair, tugging as her mouth danced over mine.
Our breathing grew laboured. Our skin slick and sensitive.
My entire body stiffened. The tent crackled with lust so painful it crippled us.
How much time do we have?
We were tempting fate. Beyond stupid to give in.
There’s a dead body…
It was macabre.
It was wrong.
But I’d failed her in so many ways.
We didn’t know what awaited us.
We didn’t have the luxury of time.
She wanted this. It was the least I could do to obey.
Throwing her onto the bed, I stood over her. Her jaw-length hair fanned out on the white bedding, her legs spread, and her hand dipped to her pussy. Her fingers weren’t shy as she rubbed her clit.
My lungs refused to operate. “Shit, Needle.”
“Take me, Kite. I need you to take me.” Her finger smeared wetness around her entrance, her stomach tensing with pleasure. “I fought him. I managed to stay true to myself and not let the lust take control. But I’m tired. I’m empty. I can’t—I can’t fight it anymore.” Tears glittered on her eyelashes. “I need it. I need a release. I need to forget, for just a little while. I need to live, to remember, to be happy, to be free. Please.” Her fingers swirled faster, her skin flushing with need. “Oh, please…please.”
I couldn’t speak.
I was hypnotised by her.
My hands shook as I wrenched open my belt. The idiocy of fucking her when Cut could return at any moment had no power over us. Common-sense died on the pyre of desire and all I could think about was filling this stunning creature and claiming her over and over and fucking over again.
Her eyes met mine, and everything that’d happened the past few months fractured. This was all that mattered.
Making love. Connecting. Merging into one.
She was my all and only.
My world.
Her tongue licked her bottom lip, her teeth biting as her finger dipped inside. “Jethro…please!”
“Shush. You have me. I’m here.” My heartbeat drummed in my erection as I shoved down my jeans and boxer-briefs.
Nila’s eyes hooded as I fisted my cock, stroking hard and fast. “Tell me.” My voice was guttural.
“Tell you what?” The diamonds around her neck refracted light.
“My cock…how do you want it?”
A seductive smile lit her face. She moaned low and full of invitation. “Hard and fast. God, so hard. So fast.” Her hands skated to her nipples through her hoodie, twisting cruelly. “I’ve never felt like this before. This unhinged. This horny. God, please don’t make me wait any longer.” Her spine arched off the bed. “Fuck me.”
Fucking hell.
I lashed out. My hands captured her hips, yanking her toward the edge of the bed. “You want me? You can fucking have me.”
She cried out as I forced her thighs wide, presenting her pussy to me—glistening and perfect. I bowed and bit her knee, running my hand up her thigh and pressing a finger deep inside her.
She screamed.
I slapped a hand over her mouth. “Quiet!”
She was my punishment and penance all in one.
Her eyes rolled backward as I forced another finger inside her. Her hips rocked dangerous and demanding. She was liquid and heat. She didn’t want foreplay. She wanted to be fucked, used, abused, claimed.
My mind shattered; I couldn’t stop.
Her breathing turned ragged as I strummed her clit. My cock wept at how fucking beautiful she was. How needy and fierce.
“I’m going to take you.” I thrust my fingers hard. “I’m going to claim you. I’m going to give you everything because you deserve fucking everything. You deserve to be worshipped and praised. You deserve to be loved every damn day of your life.”
She gasped, her skin sticky with sweat.
Withdrawing my fingers, my heart filled to bursting.
Nila panted, whimpering beneath my hand.
She looked so fragile and delicate, but I knew that was a lie. She was stronger than anyone. And I wanted to bow at her feet for the rest of eternity.
Keeping one hand over her mouth, I rubbed my fingertips together, slick from her desire, and grabbed my cock to position at her ent
rance.
I sucked in a gasp as her body heat cremated me.
I slammed inside her.
Stretching.
Fisting.
Tight.
Tight.
Tight.
“Goddammit, Nila.” My blood boiled with feral hunger.
My mouth watered to bite her throat.
Her hands latched around my wrist as I held her silent, her lips parting wide beneath my palm. I sank deep, so fucking deep. She spread her legs, her body yielded, and I sheathed into my soul-mate.
For a second, we paused. Heartbeat to heartbeat. Desire to desire. Sex turned to saturated connection, and I couldn’t stop the words spilling from my lips.
“I love you, Needle.” My hand fell from her mouth as I slammed my palms on either side of her head on the mattress, rocking into her. My toes curled in my shoes, my jeans tightened around my thighs as I stood over this goddess and fucked her like she begged.
“I…love…you…” Her pants destroyed her voice, but I didn’t need the words to know. Her emotions screamed it louder than anything. My condition swam in her contentment and affection, and I knew there would be no going back from this.
This was the moment she became totally mine.
And whatever happened afterward, we would be together forever.
I couldn’t live another moment without her bound to me. Without knowing this creature belonged to me for every day after, every year, every decade.
I needed her.
“Marry me.”
Nila gasped, her body flinching with shock. “What?”
I grabbed her legs, wrapping them around my hips. Her shoulders remained on the bed, arching into my hold. Her pussy fisted my cock, giving me an answer to my question.
The most important significant world-changing question.
“Marry me. Become mine.”
I groaned as I rocked harder, fucking her with everything I had. My knees bashed the bed, my balls smashed against her arse. Emotions and feelings and sensations grew out of control. “I need you so much.”
Her breasts bounced as my pace turned crazed.
“I need you forever.”
My hips bruised against her inner thighs as I rode her so hard.