by Amy Brent
I jumped as I heard a cup hit the granite counter and looked over to see Brett. He was dressed in some sweats, and he poured coffee in before looking at me. “Morning.”
“Good morning,” I replied as I tapped the table nervously. I didn’t know what to say or do. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah,” he replied as he sipped the coffee.
“Why did you marry her?” Brett looked stricken as he stared out of the window and I just watched him.
“She made me laugh when I met her. Your mom is a beautiful woman and a catch for any man…but then I saw you at the restaurant. I had no idea,” Brett told me as he stared at me. “It took everything I had not to react to you. It took everything I had not to wrap you up in my arms.”
“That night was a mess.” I ran a hand through my messy hair and frowned. “She was so mad at me, and I couldn’t eat. All I could do was drink.” I stared at him. “Did she suspect anything?”
“Just that it was you being a daughter that didn’t like your surprise, I gather. She didn’t guess what was really going on,” Brett assured me as I looked into his face. “She’d never guess that, Larisa. It’s too crazy.”
“Yeah.” I nodded blankly. I had officially knowingly slept with my stepfather as well as my best friend and I pushed the reality away. “She’ll be home tomorrow. What do we do?”
“Do you feel like this more than just the sex?” Brett asked me as I looked down at the table. “If so, I’ll leave it alone and do my best with her.”
I was torn, but Cole was out of my life in that way as well as a possible friend. I enjoyed being with Brett, at least so far. He was older, but there was a spark between us. “Not entirely.”
“Okay. We see what happens,” Brett said as we sat stiffly in our chairs.
I napped that day while Brett went into the office for a while. He told me that he’d pick up some dinner on the way home before he kissed me softly. Brett was so tender with me, and I watched him leave as I licked my lips. I could still taste the coffee on his lips.
I drove around town for a while for some fresh air after I showered, running into a few shops to distract myself from what was happening. I loved my mom in the sense of obligation, and I knew that what I was doing was wrong. It just felt so good.
I left one of the stores with a bag full of new lingerie and shoved it into my passenger seat. Driving home, I pulled into the driveway and got out before I headed upstairs and dumped the bag on the bed.
Over dinner from a popular Thai place that night, Brett and I talked further. He told me that his son was coming in a few days after not having seen each other for a little while. He was off to college much like me and even in the same state, so he was close.
We got distracted by each other after the meal, and I made love to Brett on the couch with a blanket underneath us as I rode him hard and fast. He held me close, sucking my nipples into his mouth as we came together. I pressed against him as I let out a deep breath and reminded myself that we were sleeping in separate rooms tonight. Mom wasn’t due home until later, but we didn’t want to get caught, not like this.
I went up into my room and slipped under the covers as I took a slow breath. My body was still on fire, and I pressed my thighs together as I bit down on my bottom lip.
I slept fitfully and just kept going back to sleep until late into the morning, I knew that Brett had gone to work and I suspected that Mom would wake me up when she arrived home, which she did. There was a knock at my door, and I looked as it opened and she peered inside of my dim room, finding me buried under my covers. “Still sleeping?”
“Just lazy. It’s nice not to have something to study or a class to go to,” I responded as she stepped inside, looking flawless. “How was your trip?”
“Very productive,” Mom replied as she looked around my room thoughtfully. “I haven’t been in here for quite some time.”
“Yeah, it looks the same as it did back in school.” Mom nodded and ran a hand through her smooth hair pulled into a low bun. “I am going to take a shower. Do you want to go out to dinner tonight, just the three of us? You can get to know Brett better since last time was so terrible.”
I didn’t want her to know how well I knew him. “Sure, that will be fun.” No, it wouldn’t.
Mom left, and I turned back over in my bed, feeling sick to my stomach. God, I wanted to talk to Cole, but I’d heard nothing from him since that last text. I couldn’t tell him all of this, ever. He would hate me more than he already did, though I was doing well at that myself.
I dragged myself out of bed after a few hours of dozing and showered before I pulled on some tights and a plum dress before slipping my feet into boots. I knew that Brett was home since I could hear them talking, but I didn’t want to go downstairs until I had to. I questioned everything from my hair to my outfit until there was a knock at my door. “Larisa, are you ready?”
“Yes, Mom. I’m coming,” I told her as I walked over and opened the door. She looked stunning in a black dress with heels, and I wondered why Brett was with me. I wondered if he’d regret everything now that she was home.
We walked down the stairs together, and I saw Brett standing in the kitchen in black slacks and a white shirt with a blue tie hung around his neck. He looked so gorgeous, and I stopped and stared for a moment as Mom glanced down at her phone. Brett looked up, and our eyes met for a moment as I frowned gently. He was beautiful beyond words, and I thought back to that first moment when our eyes met in the bar, knowing that then it would be an incredible night.
It was, then and now.
I don’t know how I got through dinner, apart from wine and watching him. He spoke well, showed his intelligence and wit as he kept us both mesmerized. I saw the way that Mom looked at him, but it wasn’t with love. It was the same way I did and the idea of them together later turned my stomach as I set the glass down on the table. At least she was past having more kids, a thought that made me stare at Mom. Was she?
“Larisa, are you okay?” I blinked as she stared at me and nodded as I sipped the wine.
We finished the meal, and I watched as they walked ahead to the car. He was holding her hand loosely, and I took the sight in before he turned his head and met my eyes. There was a heat there that made me shiver as I followed them and I bumped into someone as I blinked. “I am so sorry,” I said as I turned to look at the guy that I bumped into.
“That’s okay. It was worth it,” he told me as I looked into dark eyes and the cheekbones of a model. “Have a great night.” I nodded and said something similar to him as I turned to follow Brett and Mom to the car as he stalked forward with his shoulders set.
“Are you okay?” Mom asked as he unlocked her door and opened it as I passed them to get to the back.
“Of course. I just remembered that I have some work to do in the office when we get home.” He replied as he stared forward and I dropped my gaze to the ground.
Later that night after Mom was asleep, Brett told me how jealous he was of that guy with his mouth between my legs.
I helped Mom in the kitchen the night before Thanksgiving, trying not to chuckle at her attempt to prepare to giant turkey for the following day. I wasn’t a great cook, but I’d made enough simple meals living on my own to muddle my way through it. At some point, she started drinking and left to go watch a movie in bed while Brett took her place.
He stuffed the turkey with herbs and vegetables as I watched him, explaining that it flavored the juices that he used to make the gravy. It was something that his mom had always done, prompting me to ask him where she was. Brett looked sad and a little lost as he explained that she died of ovarian cancer when he was twenty-seven and that his dad wasn’t a big part of his life. I wanted to give him a hug, but I wasn’t sure if Mom was asleep and I just stared at him. We finished the preparation and stored everything in the fridge for the following day, and he glanced down the hallway to his bedroom before looking at me.
Before I knew it, I was up
stairs and against my door as he kissed me hard. I held him tight and listened for any noises as we made out like teenagers in the dark for a long time before Brett dragged himself away, though not without giving me a hard orgasm with his fingers against my clit and I struggled not to cry out. He kissed me quiet as I breathed deeply and held me as my knees went weak. He helped me to bed, and I pulled down his pants and blew him on the floor of my room, on my knees as he held my hair and murmured dirty words to me.
He left after that to sleep a few hours before cooking, and I made myself come under the covers as I played back the night in my head. I couldn’t get enough, and I went for round two as I arched my back and bit my lip again.
I was addicted and in trouble as I finally slept a few hours before I had to pretend that everything was normal for the holiday.
I woke up later than I assumed anyone else would and pulled my hair into a messy bun and dressed to see if anyone needed help downstairs. As I walked down the steps, I could already detect the scent of cooking turkey and inhaled appreciatively as I looked into the kitchen. It was free of people, but there was a full pot of coffee that I helped myself to before stepping into the living room where Brett was watching the parade on the couch with his own cup, dressed in sweats and a fitted t-shirt that made me drag my eyes over his chest. My thighs clenched together, and he glanced at me as I sat in a chair a few feet away. “Morning. How did you sleep?” His voice was husky as he looked me over in my leggings and sweatshirt and I giggled.
“Pretty good. I was worn out,” I replied, winking at him as he laughed and stared at me.
“Yeah, me too.” I never asked if he was intimate with my mother, though I did wonder sometimes. They were married, and she’d expect it. “Dinner should be ready around three. We can just relax around the house.”
“Where’s Mom?” I asked as he frowned and looked down the hall.
“Sleeping. She’ll be up to eat; I expect, but it seems she drank quite a lot last night.” I sensed the displeasure in Brett’s voice and wondered where it came from. Did he miss her? Did he just not like her drinking? I kept my thoughts to myself and sipped my coffee as I stared at the SpongeBob float on the big screen television. I wondered what would happen when I went back to school next week. Would we just end and life go on for both of us? I couldn’t imagine that, but I wasn’t naive enough to think that we’d live happily ever after.
I was surprised when a couple of high school friends stopped by to say hello, as well as distracted by the way they looked at Brett as they giggled and tossed their hair. I smiled and laughed in all of the right places, but I felt my emotions rising as I sat on the couch and made small talk. There was plenty to say about school and campus life since we’d all gone to different colleges around the country.
Once they left, Brett closed the door and turned to stare at me before he glanced down the hall. “Larisa, you can’t wear your heart on your sleeve that way,” he kept his voice quiet, and I blinked at him.
“I was fine. We just chatted.” I knew that I’d been tense more than a few times and he shook his head and sat back down. “Did you see the way they were looking at you?”
“I don’t care. I don’t want them.” His voice was firm as he looked again to see if we were alone.
“You probably told Mom that and look at us now,” I whispered as I walked into the kitchen and placed my coffee cup in the sink after dumping it out.
“Larisa, I don’t cheat like this in general life. This…is bad timing. I’d happily have you if things were different and just you. We’re in a complicated place right now.” Brett talked slowly and softly as I nodded and felt the rush of anger ebbing. I just didn’t have the energy for it right now. I just nodded and held on.
We made our way back to the living room and found a traditional holiday movie on as we sat a few feet away from one another on the couch. It was close enough to know that were together here even if it was in the sense of tortured silence. Once it crept closer to dinner and we were still alone, Brett invited me into the kitchen where we finished up the last minute details. Everything smelled delicious, and I was developing an appetite as I prepared some yams in a baking pan.
“Look at you. This smells so good!” My mother’s cheerful voice filled the silence, and I jumped as I pressed my hand to my heart. Everything shifted in the room, and I took a breath as I felt eyes on me. “That into cooking, Larisa? You’re a different girl,” Mom teased me as she walked over and hugged Brett for a long moment. I looked for a fleeting second and glanced away as my skin burned. She moved to get coffee and looked around slowly with a smile. “Everything looks and smells so good. You guys are a good team.”
Brett thanked her as he and I shared a quick look and forced smiles. We finished plating everything, and the three of us carried things to the formal table as the doorbell rang. I knew that Brett had invited some single friends over and I assumed it was them, so I excused myself to answer the door. I’d changed into a pair of black slacks and a burnt orange sweater for the company after my shower earlier, and I smiled as I saw a few new faces. “Come on in.” The men moved past me as my face fell when I saw Cole behind the group. His face was as pale as mine as our eyes locked and I took a ragged breath. “What are you doing here?”
“Larisa? Is everything okay?” Brett asked as he walked over and glanced through the open door. “Cole. You’re here early! Come in.” I stepped aside as my former best friend walked by me and was introduced to everybody. “This is my stepdaughter, Larisa. This is my son, Cole.”
“We attend the same school, Dad,” Cole said dryly as he eyed the door like he wanted to leave.
“What a coincidence,” Mom said as she slipped an arm around Brett and looked Cole over. “Please sit. I can get another bottle of wine, and we can start eating, unless you’d like something else to drink, Cole?”
“If you have a beer, I’d like that,” Cole said as Brett clapped him on the back and took him upstairs with the duffel bag that he was carrying.
“I’ll be right back,” I told Mom as the room started spinning. I went into the bathroom in the first-floor hallway and turned the water on as I leaned over the toilet and threw up. In the few moments we’d had in the foyer, I thought that Cole must have connected the dots and was disgusted by me. I knew that I was. I felt sick, and my stomach was in knots as I threw up the little food that I had in my stomach and leaned my head over my arms. I couldn’t do this. I needed to get my stuff and get the fuck out of here.
I didn’t know how long I was in there before there was a tap at the door. “Larisa? Are you coming to the table?” Brett asked through the door in a concerned voice as I closed my eyes.
“I…I suddenly don’t feel so well. Go ahead without me, okay? I’m going to lie down in my room.” I sighed as I tried to find a reasonable excuse to go right back to school.
“What happened? You were fine all day,” Brett told me as I rolled my eyes.
“I had a bit of a fever earlier, but I really didn’t think much of it. I just need to rest. Go eat, Brett. Everyone is here.” I insisted as I remained on the floor, straddling the toilet. It went quiet, and I assumed that he was gone, which was when I stood and splashed cold water on my face. I left the room quietly and made my way upstairs, wondering which room Cole was sleeping in tonight. There were only two other huge rooms on this floor, and I sighed as I opened my door and closed it. I pulled on leggings and a thermal before I crawled under the covers and switched the television on to cover the sounds of my soft sobs. I was alone for about an hour when there was a knock at the door, and I looked up with huge eyes. I’d been crying hard, and I looked at the screen to see The Notebook playing. Thank fuck…but who was it knocking? “Larisa?” It was Mom. She opened the door and came inside, seeing me shriveled under the comforter. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I felt a little off earlier, but it came on so suddenly,” I lied as she sat down and looked into my face with shock. I pointed to the movie, a
nd she looked at it and nodded. “I’m just going to chill out. I’ll be fine.”
“You’ll love your new stepbrother. He’s such a sweet kid,” Mom smiled as my stomach twisted violently. “He looks a lot like his father, doesn’t he?”
Too much. I’d realized it seeing them together and was ready to flee the scene. “Yeah, I think that he does,” my voice was weak as Mom hugged me.
“Get some rest, Larisa. Maybe you’ll feel better tomorrow,” she said as she looked me over. “We can all visit then.”
“Sounds good, Mom.” I sank back against my pillows as she left and smiled as she looked at me. I just wanted to get through the next few days and go back to school. I knew that Cole was there, but at least both of my sins wouldn’t be staring me in the face. I’d have time to isolate and recover from this.
I stared at the wall as another movie played before I cried myself to sleep. I woke up a few hours later, trembling from a dream as I sat straight up in bed and took deep breaths. I looked around my room and saw that a shadowed figure was in my chair as I started to scream. “Sshh, it’s me. What’s wrong with you?” Brett asked as I stared at him and shook my head.
“You can’t be in here,” I told him as he waved his hand.
“Everyone is asleep. It’s midnight, Larisa.” He moved closer to the bed and looked at me. “Are you feeling better?”
“A little? I don’t want you to get it, though. You should go.” I frowned as he dropped his broad shoulders and stared at me.
“I was worried about you, you know.” I nodded and hid under my blankets as he looked at my door. “I’ll see how you are tomorrow, okay?”