by B. B. Reid
“Like the men who watched Trevor and Anya?”
“Look, I still have guys on that to find out what happened. I’m just as shocked as you are. No one is talking, but I promise you on the life of my daughter that I did not order the hit. It was a freak accident at best.”
“Someone poured gasoline on two of my classmates and set them on fire and you’re calling it a freak accident?” He still had yet to explain how Trevor and Anya were killed under his watch. Not only were they killed, but they also managed to make it fifty miles away from where they were being held and burned alive just outside of town.
“I know how it sounds, but what would you like me to say? The men on guard were taken care of.”
It was always the same response, and eventually, I would start to do my own digging. If I found out he was responsible, it would tip things in another direction. I didn’t care at all about what had happened to them, but my freedom was on the line.
“How long?”
“Come again?”
“How long do I need to be your daughter’s bodyguard?”
“Until we can find her a safer hideaway or until this is all over.”
“Fine. Let me talk to my uncle. Is she ready?”
“My men have her on standby. She should arrive in a couple of weeks.”
“Fine.”
I turned on my heel and left him standing alone in the parking lot. Lunch had just ended when I entered the building, and I knew Monroe would be looking for me soon. She never admitted it out loud, but she was always on the lookout for me. I wondered if it was only fear that still drove her to search me out. Whatever it was, something told me she wasn’t running anymore.
* * *
I missed Monroe after lunch. Two classes later, I trudged into last period after class had already begun. Mr. Lawson looked down his too long nose at me as I entered the classroom.
“Mr. Masters, it’s great to have you back, but please try to be on time. Tardiness will not be tolerated.”
Bite me.
A smile spread my lips when I repeated Monroe’s favorite expression. She was already rubbing off on me in ways I never would have imagined. I nodded in his direction and took my usual seat.
Monroe was back to sitting in the front again with Willow and Sheldon flanking her. Her back stiffened at the sound of my name, but she didn’t turn around. She wouldn’t dare.
I wanted nothing more than to grab her up and keep her close, but I wasn’t allowed to approach her. I wasn’t keen on obeying some piece of paper they called an order of protection, but I wasn’t stupid either. I also had to admit it pleased me she had someone to look out for her. Five months ago, and even long before that, I would have tried to do anything in my power to take away her security and protection. I wanted to keep her isolated because then I could better control her. Now I was more than grateful that she was never alone. As much as I hated it, I couldn’t always be around. There was no way in hell I would ever let her know everything I did now was to protect her. She already wanted more and had no problem demanding it. I smiled again even though my blood boiled when I thought about her little so-called threat. Jealously apparently was a trait none of us could escape. I really did mean it when I said I would kill her before I let anyone else have her. It was the very reason why I was no good for her. The days of my bullying her were long gone, but I was still the same person who pushed her off those monkey bars, and even more tragically, I was still the same person they trained me to be. It wasn’t until her I realized how fucked I really was and how my life before was so much worse than I could have imagined. People like her had it good. They never suffered or did a bad thing.
I felt some of the familiar anger from before rear its ugly head. The teacher’s lecture faded into the background until I could no longer hear him at all. I developed tunnel vision. Blood rushed to my head. All I could see was her. She could still make me feel that black part of me. The self-loathing, the violence, the hatred… the pain.
I didn’t even begin to fucking understand.
All I knew was that I blamed her.
Her innocence was the key.
Lily was the catalyst.
My mission for the past ten years, and especially these last five months, had been to break her. Make her tick. To see how long before she became just like the rest of the world.
I wanted to see her save herself. Damn her aunt and best friend just so she could be free from me.
It’s what I had to do. I had to sell my soul for a warm blanket and maybe even more than scraps to eat. And if I performed really well, I could even forego my daily whipping.
“It keeps you tough,” Frank would always say. To him, a beating would make my skin tougher so I could kill easier. The night I took Monroe’s virginity, she told me she’d grown a thick skin because of my torments. I don’t know why it made me so angry. If she hadn’t have said so, I might have stopped. I might have checked my anger in time to merely scare her and leave.
Monroe was right. I am sick.
The realization didn’t make me want to stop or quell the need to control her. It never would.
I did, however, realize this couldn’t go on forever. My fingertips dug into the table. In just a few months, we would be graduating and she would be gone forever.
The gut-wrenching part of it all was I had no way in hell of stopping her.
By the end of the period, I was in a foul mood and everyone was a target. I had to get away fast. When the final bell rung, signaling the end of the school day, I was out of there. There were only two things that could bring me down from the black cloud my mind now floated in, but one of them was no longer an option.
I headed out to my car where I stored my gym bag. The parking lot filled fast with my overly eager peers. Sometimes I envied their normal lives and normal teenage problems. How many of them could say they were in the process of taking down a slave ring?
Maybe that was why I was so worked up.
Yeah…
It had absolutely nothing to do with never seeing Monroe again.
I made it to the empty gym without delay and headed to the locker rooms. The team had already left school early to play another team tonight. Dash took over the team in my absence and given my recent jail time, I was no longer on the team. The decision of whether or not I would be allowed back on was still up in the air. With everything I had going on, I was a little relieved to have one less responsibility on my plate. For now. Basketball was something I relied on to keep me from reverting back to the person Arthur and his trainers tried to make of me.
After I had changed, I ran drills and made shots until my arms were sore. I kept going despite the ache in my limbs and the fatigue that slowly started to set in. I needed to work off all the pent up aggression I was feeling. It was working until I heard her.
“Can I play?” The softly worded questioned stopped me mid-dribble.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, taking the shot without looking back.
“I came to find you.”
“Are you in danger?”
“Not at the moment.”
“Do you need to be fucked?”
“Keiran—”
“I’ll take that as a no, which means there is no reason for you to be here.”
“Why are you so pissy today? It’s perfectly okay for you to invade my space, but I’m not allowed?”
“Damn it, Monroe. I’m not doing this today.” I dropped the ball and let it bounce away while I headed to the bleachers where I kept my gym bag and bottles of water.
“You’re a walking, talking contradiction, and just a little bit of a tease, do you know that?”
I could hear the smile in her voice. She approached me cautiously as if I were a ticking time bomb. I guess she was more perceptive than what I gave her credit. Monroe could be incredibly naive at times.
“What do you need?”
“You seemed upset when you left class.”
I blinked twice and mulled her statement over
in my head. “Are you actually asking if I’m okay?” I didn’t bother to hide the disbelief from my voice.
“Yes, I guess so…” She looked as confused as I felt, and surprisingly, I felt myself relax but not much.
“I’m fine, okay?”
She cocked her head to the side and studied me. Despite the way I was treating her, she didn’t appear angry, merely curious. “Why don’t I believe you?”
I exhaled a harsh breath and felt my fists clench. “What do you want from me?”
“Answers.”
I turned away because I didn’t want to look into her eyes. It was my turn to feel like a cornered animal.
“I think we need to talk, don’t you?”
“Why are you chasing me?”
“Why are you running?” she countered. This time there was a little snap in her voice.
“You think I need to run from you?” I spun on my heel and stalked up to her until my chest was pressed against hers. I clenched my fists to keep from touching her. If I got my hands on her, I wouldn’t stop until I fully consumed her.
“I think you’re running from something.”
“What’s your deal?” My lip curled as my ire grew. I could feel myself transitioning back into Keiran the tormentor. The one who hid in the shadows waiting to pounce and attack just to see her cry. “Less than a month ago, you turned me into the police for murder, and now you’re standing in front of me wanting to figure me out?”
“Somebody has to, don’t you think? You’re dead inside, Keiran, and if you don’t—”
“Stay the fuck away from me…” I cut her off mid-sentence. “…or the nice couple you ran to before you ratted me out will pay the consequences of your actions.”
Shock and disbelief registered on her face. “How did you know?”
“I always knew where you were. It wasn’t hard to figure out. There is nowhere you can go that’s too far, and no one who can protect you from me.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Her voice hardened with each syllable that passed through her lips, and her eyes narrowed to slits. “You may have been able to escape the law thus far. However, I promise you, if you go anywhere near them or harm them in any way, there will be nowhere you can run or no one you can call who will protect you from me.”
Careful not to show my true reaction to her threat, even though she mentally knocked me on my ass, I smirked down at her and leaned closer to whisper in her ear.
“Then you’d better be ready to pay the consequences. You don’t want me the way you think you do, and you definitely don’t want me as an enemy. This isn’t going to end with love, baby. This is just another tragedy waiting to happen.”
“Like Lily?” she asked. “Was that really her tragedy or yours, and whose will it be this time? Yours? Or mine?”
“It will be both of ours.”
Chapter Fourteen
Keiran
Ten Years Ago
“I have a job for you, son.” I looked up from drawing in the collecting dust on the wooden floor. He left hours ago saying he would be back soon. Night had since fallen, and I was relieved that he had come back. I hadn’t eaten since last night and my stomach had begun to protest—not to mention being in the old house alone scared me. Nothing much had happened since he rescued me from the compound. He barely looked at or spoke to me. He would provide food and tell me everything would be right soon.
“A job?”
I recognized the word and tensed at the meaning of it and the look on his face. He was smiling, but it was a smile meant only for devils who knew an evil secret.
“Yes. I have heard so much about all that you have learned from your training, and now I would like to see. Can you do that for me, boy?”
He knew my master? Did that mean he knew Frank, too?
But, if he knew where I was all this time, why hadn’t he come before? What took him so long?
He waited for me to say or do something, but I continued to sit and watch him, feeling confused. Lily said daddies were nice and protected you. They weren’t supposed to do bad things and they would be upset if we did bad things.
His face had changed to anger before he smoothed it over again. “Don’t you want to make your father proud?”
So maybe killing wasn’t a bad thing. He said it would make him proud. If I make him proud, then maybe he will keep me. If I go back, then they will think I ran away and kill me.
I nodded though it was a lie. Whatever he wanted me to do, I knew it wasn’t good. I thought my father rescued me… Why did he want me to do bad stuff?
I followed him out to the main room, and immediately, I noticed a strange woman balled in the corner. She looked as if she’d been beaten or worse. I didn’t know what could be worse than being beaten since she wasn’t dead, but whatever it was, it was there in her eyes.
She made a sound when she saw me that sounded like she was in pain, but it was weak.
“No,” she moaned. Her eyes widened and tears streamed down her face, running over her trembling lips. She reached out her hand to me, but it was a sluggish attempt. She managed to lift it only for it to slump back to her side.
She tried to speak, but she couldn’t seem to manage more than a mumble. “I think something is wrong with the lady.”
I moved forward to help her, but his hand on my shoulder stopped me. In his hand was a gun. “She’s fine, son. For now. I want you to kill her.”
“Wh–what?”
“If you simply kill her, you’ll be free.”
“But, Dad, I don’t want to hurt the lady.” It was the first time I had called him dad, and strangely, it didn’t feel right. He didn’t feel like a father. He didn’t feel like my father.
He pressed the gun in my hand and lifted it with my hand to aim. “You’ve already done this many times. What’s one more?”
The gun felt much too large for the hand I held it in. I’d only begun to practice with them before the life I knew changed drastically. It was loud, and my arm would always be sore after they made me shoot it. Each time I held one didn’t do anything to diminish the foreign and uncomfortable feelings.
The last time I used one was still fresh in my memories. It was the first time I’d ever used one on my own, and, unfortunately, I remembered my training too well.
Lily was gone.
I blinked away the tears, afraid my father would mistake them for something else. I managed to keep it steadily trained on the woman who knelt in the corner. She was much too pretty for the tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were much too bright for the sadness it held. I knew she must have been afraid to die, but why didn’t she beg and plead for her life like everyone else?
“Gabriel, my sweet boy,” she whispered soothingly, finally finding her voice. Her voice held an unnatural quality to it, and her eyes, wide when I entered, drooped. Her whole appearance just seemed to fade. “It’s okay, my little boy. Do it.”
Why was she telling me it would be okay? She was the one who would die. She must have thought I was someone else. Maybe she was looking for her son.
Suddenly, I wished she were my mom.
A strange, beautiful woman who I’d never met before but felt a connection to.
“Why are you calling me Gabriel?” I lowered the gun to study her. I couldn’t shake the familiar feelings, and the feeling that hurting this woman would be a mistake.
I looked to my father for guidance. “Dad?”
“It doesn’t matter what the bitch calls you. Do you want your freedom, boy?”
“Yes.”
“Then kill her,” he sneered. He took my hand and lifted the gun again, pressing my finger into the trigger. All I had to do was squeeze a little more, but for some reason, I didn’t want her to die.
I shouldn’t do this.
I couldn’t do this.
“It’s okay, Gabriel.” She nodded her head weakly. The tears were endless as they fell from her eyes.
You’re not Gabriel. Just kill her. You’
ll be free.
“I will always love you.”
What?
The gun went off.
The blast was loud, but I didn’t feel the pain in my arm. It reached far beyond the physical. I didn’t remember squeezing the trigger. I didn’t remember killing her, but there was one thing I would always remember hearing…
“Good job, son.” My father’s evil chuckled echoed behind me. “You just killed your mother.”
Chapter Fifteen
Lake
Present Day
There was no possibility of redemption. What was I thinking? Threatening Keiran like that was like committing suicide. The rush of it all, mingled with fear and hate, clawed at my emotions. When I went in search of Keiran after class, I merely wanted to see if he was okay. The look on his face as he left class was one I’d never seen before. It was a mixture of pain and anger, and with Keiran, who knew how deadly a combination that could be?
I only meant to peek in on him when I saw him rush off to the gym, but when I saw him playing basketball alone something compelled me to call out to him. I had known before it happened that it was a mistake, but sadly I was never one to listen to my instincts.
How could he have known about my Aunt Karen and Uncle Ben, much less where they lived? Surprisingly, I recovered quicker than I would have in the past. Keiran was much more effective in tearing me apart to near destruction in the past.
My anger was unprecedented, but the threat that followed was even more surprising. More than that, it was the realization I had meant it. I was done letting Keiran use my family against me. I was done letting him use me period.
Before today, I hoped deep down that Keiran could be redeemed but now it seemed nearly impossible. I had to figure out a way to beat him at his own game.
Keiran was guided by his ruthlessness, but I was guided by my love for my family. It was no contest on which was more powerful.
He wasn’t the only one who watched and waited. I knew he was up to something, and I knew whatever it was had to do with Mitch. It wasn’t surprising to me how closed mouth he was about his plans. So much so, prying Sheldon for information would be fruitless. For all I knew, Mitch had already been taken care.