My two friends couldn’t have been more different. Suzanne was loud, flirtatious, and an assertive drama queen. Michaela was the quietest of the three of us. She was sweet and loyal, and she cared a great deal about her new students. If I wanted a good time and a distraction, I sought out Suzanne, but if I just wanted someone to talk to, I picked up the phone and called Michaela.
“How are the kids?” Michaela asked me, and I knew she was referring to family and not school.
“Really good.”
“And more to come.” She grinned.
“Ugh, I don’t know how they do it.” Suzanne shuddered. “You’d think they’d have learned their lesson with the one.”
“Well, it’s Jo’s first one, actually.” Not that that would change Suzanne’s opinion that children were unpleasant little creatures she wanted nothing to do with.
Johanna MacCabe was probably my closest girlfriend, despite our seven-year age difference. When Braden met his wife, Joss, she brought into our little family her good friend Jo Walker, and Jo soon met the love of her life, Cameron MacCabe. The two of them had been married for two years and Jo was pregnant with their first child.
She wasn’t the only one who was pregnant. My sister, Ellie, and her husband, Adam, were expecting their second child. They already had an adorable two-year-old son called William and were hoping to give me a niece this time around.
“She’s nuts.” Suzanne made a face. “But look at who I’m talking to. Teachers. Who on earth in their right mind would decide to become a teacher? Oh” – her eyes widened at something over my shoulder – “he’s yummy.”
Michaela and I shared a knowing look and I turned to stare as inconspicuously as possible at whoever had caught Suzanne’s eye.
“And she’s off!” Michaela giggled, pulling my gaze away from the tall guy with the bulging biceps who was exactly Suzanne’s type, to watch her cross the bar with an exaggerated swing to her slim hips. “I don’t know how she can do this every other weekend. A different guy.”
Suzanne was way into the double digits when it came to the number of men she’d slept with. But I wasn’t there to judge. She could do what she pleased as long as she was safe about it. I, on the other hand, didn’t do the whole sleeping-around thing. Honestly, I didn’t do the whole sex thing. The last and only time it happened, I’d gotten burned. So I had no intention of falling into bed with a guy until I was absolutely positive there was a connection between us that we both felt.
At that moment I was content with my life as it was. I was too busy for anything more than a bar flirtation and I was completely okay with that. I was young. I had time. Suzanne seemed to be on a mission to try out every single freaking frog she could get her hands on until she finally found that elusive prince.
Suzanne strode back to our table with the guy and his two friends in tow. They sat down and introduced themselves. Unfortunately, the guy she was interested in, Seb, quickly turned his attention from her to me. Thankfully one of his friends seemed more than into Suzanne.
Seb was really nice. He asked me a lot of questions about myself and I reciprocated. We laughed and chatted about everyday nonsense, and the guys bought us another round of drinks.
After a few hours had passed, our new friends started talking about hitting a club. Michaela didn’t look too sure, and I wasn’t about to leave her behind, so Suzanne and I went to freshen up in the ladies’ toilets while Michaela mulled it over.
We were standing at the sinks, reapplying blusher and lipstick, when Suzanne mused, “So… Seb is delicious. Does he warrant a break from the longest dry spell in history or are you going to pull the Hannah Tease on this one as well?”
I grunted. “The Hannah Tease?”
She gave me a look that said, Like you don’t know. “The Hannah Tease. The gorgeous Hannah Nichols always snags the hottest of the hot, flirts her arse off with him for a few hours, but leaves him to go home with blue balls and no phone number.”
“I’m not teasing anyone,” I objected. “If I’m not interested I don’t put it out there that I am. It’s harmless light banter. That’s it.”
This time the look she gave me was one that she’d begun to give me on a regular basis. It was an impatient expression that said she didn’t understand me. Not one bit. “What the hell is wrong with you? And when are you going to get over the past and finally get under someone new?”
I shook my head, pretending I didn’t know what she was talking about. “Have you ever considered I might be happy? Isn’t that the whole point to all this? To be happy? And I am. I love my job, I love my family, and I love my friends. I have a good life, Suzanne.”
She snorted this time. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”
I felt my blood heat in indignation. “What is your problem tonight? Is it because of Seb? Because you’re welcome to him.”
This time Suzanne turned on me with narrowed eyes. “Oh, I could have him if I wanted to, don’t worry.”
“Then what’s the attitude about?”
“Ugh, don’t talk to me like I’m one of your kids. You know, you’ve gotten really boring lately.”
I laughed incredulously at the turn our conversation had taken. Suzanne wasn’t the most tactful person, and she had a tendency to snap impatiently at people, but tonight she was turning her reserve of nastiness on me, which she’d never done before. “In my defense, you are acting like a child.”
“Eh, whatever.” She threw her hands up in despair, like the consummate drama queen she was. “Let’s just see if Michaela wants to go clubbing…” I felt sure she was going to say something else, but in the end she just pinched her lips together and stormed out of the toilets.
I was leaving the toilets when I got a text from Lucy, a friend from teacher training, asking if I fancied joining her for a drink. She was around the corner at a pub on the Royal Mile with a few friends and knew I was out tonight. I texted her back, then casually made my way over to my friends.
“Michaela has decided to come with us,” Suzanne said cheerily, like she hadn’t just verbally bitch-slapped me in the toilets.
I squeezed Michaela’s shoulder and smiled at them all. “You guys have a good night. I have somewhere I need to be.”
Ignoring Suzanne’s sputtering, I sauntered out of there, away from the drama and the gorgeous boys, and spent the rest of the evening getting drunk with people who didn’t care if I was single or married, skinny or fat, ambitious or laid-back. They were just out to relax and de-stress from work, and that was all I was looking for too.
Life was good. I certainly didn’t need anyone trying to tell me it wasn’t because they themselves were discontented.
CHAPTER 2
T
he next morning I woke up to get ready for Jo and Ellie’s baby shower. My mum, Elodie, was hosting it at my parents’ house for all the girls, while the men looked after the kids.
I’d just switched off my hairdryer and was sitting down to do my makeup when my door buzzer went off. Not expecting anyone, I wondered if one of the girls had decided to drop in on me before the baby shower.
“Hello?” I called into the entry phone.
“It’s me,” a familiar deep and masculine voice said.
Pleased by the unexpected visit, I answered, “Come on up.”
When I opened my door Cole Walker smiled at me and strode inside. I turned my cheek for his kiss and offered him a coffee.
“Sure.” He followed me into my kitchen.
Cole Walker was Jo’s little brother. He was a year younger than me, but you’d never know it. I’d never met a guy so close to my age as mature as Cole. For as long as I’d known him he’d been that way. He acted more like a thirty-year-old than the twenty-one-year-old he was.
We’d been friends because our families were close, but the year I turned seventeen we’d grown closer. So close, I considered him my best friend. I often thought it was a shame there wasn’t any sexual chemistry between us, because Cole was seriously one of t
he best guys I’d ever met and he would make anyone a fantastic boyfriend.
Despite being a little hotheaded, especially when it came to anyone hurting or even pissing off someone he cared about, Cole was the least judgmental person I knew. There were occasions when he could be cocky and come off as intimidating to those who didn’t know him well, but I knew him to be down-to-earth, easy to talk to, intelligent, creative, compassionate, loyal, and sensible, despite what his appearance might suggest to people inclined to judge a book by its cover.
A few inches over six feet, Cole was broad-shouldered and athletically built – he had an amazing body, honed in martial arts classes and weekly visits to the gym. He had messy strawberry blond hair that his sister was always nagging at him to cut, gorgeous green eyes, and a handsome face that was usually scruffy and in need of a shave. It wasn’t his natural good looks that raised eyebrows, although he did turn heads. It was the tattoos. He had lyrics tattooed on his inner right wrist, and black feathers on the back of his right shoulder that reached over and down his upper biceps, the feathers leading to an eagle that was flying, wings outstretched. In its talons dangled an old-fashioned pocket watch. He had yet to cover his left arm, although he was working on ideas for a sleeve.
He also had the same tattoo as Cam. They were best mates. Cole designed it when he was fifteen. It was a “J&C” that was visible in among this almost tribal-like design of vines and curlicues. Cam had it on his chest. When he was eighteen Cole had the same tattoo inked on the side of his neck where his pulse throbbed.
I knew how much that tattoo meant to him. For Cam the “J&C” symbolized not only his relationship with Jo but his relationship with Cole as well. For Cole, the “J&C” was Jo and Cam. Cole had had a pretty shitty time of it at home with his alcoholic mum, Fiona. She was never there for him. Jo had raised him. When Cole was fourteen Jo discovered their mother was beating him, and not long after that they moved in with Cameron and left their mum alone in the flat upstairs.
Fiona had passed away of a heart attack almost two years ago. I imagined it hadn’t been easy for Cole, for many reasons. I’d tried to talk to him about it, but it was the one subject he didn’t want to touch. As far as he was concerned, Jo was his mother and sister rolled into one and Cameron had saved their lives. They were all he needed.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as I made his coffee. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
Cole was a student at Edinburgh College of Art, but he’d been working since he was sixteen years old at INKarnate, an award-winning tattoo studio in Leith. Stu Motherwell had been running the parlor for more than twenty-five years and Cole had started off as an errand boy so he could get a feel for the place. When he was eighteen he started a part-time apprenticeship there. I knew Stu treated Cole like a son, and relied heavily on him.
I didn’t think it would be too long before Cole was helping to run the place.
“Late start,” Cole replied, taking the coffee with a “Thanks.” “I start in thirty minutes but I thought I’d pop in to see you first.”
I leaned back against the counter, staring up at him. “Why? Is everything okay?”
He gazed back at me for a few long seconds. “That’s what I’m here to ask you. With everything that’s going on…”
Understanding what he was getting at, I smiled reassuringly. “Things are good. Honest.”
He frowned. “I haven’t heard from you much lately and…” He shrugged.
“Cole, I’m run off my feet with school and volunteering. I’m stressing a little and I’m sort of failing at every other aspect of life because of it.”
“You sure that’s it?”
I crossed my heart. “Promise.”
His eyes moved past me to the kitchen table, where the presents for the shower sat all wrapped up and ready to go. I saw him clock the packet of condoms I’d put beside them to give to Ellie and Jo as a joke. Cole snorted. “I do not envy you today.”
“Two hormonal women and a packet of condoms? Isn’t that like a Friday night for you?” I teased.
He laughed because we both knew I was far off the mark.
Cole wasn’t really the player type. Sure, I knew he wasn’t an angel, but he preferred to be in a relationship. Right now he was dating an art history student called Steph.
“At least I need condoms.” He smiled, not unkindly.
I made a face. “So it’s been a while.”
“Correction: It’s been too long.” He frowned. “You ever going to give someone a chance?”
“Look, I just don’t want to sleep with random people. I’m not Suzanne, Cole.”
“I never said you were. Not all guys are just looking to hook up with you and then leave you in the morning.” His expression softened. “You’re not the kind of girl you want to leave, Hannah. Give one of them a chance to prove it to you. You’ve never been in a relationship. How can you knock it until you try it?”
I laughed. “I’m not knocking it. I’m just happy by myself right now. But speaking of couplings… how is the old ball and chain?”
Cole sighed. “Stressing. I promised her I’d head over to her flat after work to help her on her paper.”
“Aw.” I mocked him playfully. “You’re such a good boyfriend.”
Cole downed the last of his coffee and put the mug in my sink. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Next time you see Steph, will you tell her that?”
“Trouble in paradise?” I asked, walking him to the front door.
“She’s become a nagger.”
“I’m sure she’ll be fine once she stops stressing.”
“Hmm.” He smiled back at me as he stepped outside. “Enjoy the shower.”
“Enjoy tutoring,” I replied, grinning saucily. “Who knows? Things might get a little… educational.” I waggled my eyebrows.
Cole laughed as he took the stairs two at a time. “One can only hope.”
As soon as I walked through the door of my parents’ house I heard the cacophony of female conversation coming from the sitting room.
My dad stepped into the hallway as I was closing the front door, his eyes lighting up at the sight of me.
“Hey, Dad.” I walked into his open arms, melting into his hug.
“Hi, sweetheart.” He kissed my hair and pulled back to smile into my face. “Long time no see.”
I winced. “I’m sorry I haven’t popped around lately. I’ve been bogged down with work.”
My dad was a classical history professor at Edinburgh University. He was intelligent, passionate about his subject, laid-back, and most of all perceptive as hell. His eyes narrowed as he took me in. “Are you sure that’s all it is?”
“Of course. I’m fine, honest.”
“You would tell me if you weren’t?”
I suppose he had every right to worry that I might keep problems from him. I had a track record of doing that. For once I was honest. “I’m past it.”
“Clark! Can you get these canapés, please?” My mum’s voice could be heard yelling from the kitchen.
Dad’s eyes grew round with mock horror. “I’m trying to escape. Help.”
I laughed. “Go.” I gestured to the door. “I’ll distract her.”
He sighed in relief, kissed my cheek, and dashed out the front door.
Mum marched into the hall a second later. “Oh, Hannah.” She smiled, coming toward me with open arms. “It’s good to see you, sweetie.” She hugged me tight. “Have you seen your dad by any chance?”
“Um, he left.”
Mum pulled back, frowning. “He’s supposed to be helping.”
“Mum, he’s the only man here. I don’t think it’s really fair to ask him to stay when all the other menfolk don’t have to.”
She gave a huff at that but didn’t argue. “Would you help me, then?”
I held up my gifts. “First, where do I put these?”
“Sitting room.”
I wandered into the sitting room as Mum went back to th
e kitchen and was immediately set upon by my sister and friends. Ellie reached me first. Just as when she’d been pregnant with William, she not only had a fairly large bump but her cheeks were chubby and her lips fuller. She was absolutely adorable, even if she would disagree. “Hannah.” She tugged me toward her and I awkwardly hugged her, trying not to squash her bump.
“You look beautiful, Els.” I kissed my sister’s cheek and pulled back to stare down at the bump. “You’re even bigger this time around.”