“You’ve gotten better at that lately,” Lena says thoughtfully.
“I think part of it is Beau,” I reply, hesitant to say too much. “He makes me stronger.”
“Yes, he does,” Miss Sophia agrees. “Keep him close.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
***
It’s later than I expected when I get home. I had to text Beau to tell him I’d be late, and now I’m just exhausted.
And frankly, I want to be alone.
Rather than text him again, I dial his number and smile when he answers on the second ring.
“Hello, beautiful.”
“Hi. I think I’m going to have to cancel on you tonight.”
“Is everything okay?”
Fuck no, it’s not okay.
“I just don’t feel great, and I’m super tired. I might be coming down with something. I thought I’d just go straight to bed.”
“I can come over and take care of you,” he offers. “My nursemaid skills are stellar.”
“I remember,” I murmur with a smile. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m okay. It’s nothing like before. I’m just going to go snuggle down in bed and sleep this off. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive. Don’t worry about me. Have a good evening.”
“You too, sweetheart.”
We end the call and I do collapse on the bed, staring at the ceiling. What is going to happen? With Beau, the shop, these gifts that won’t go away, no matter how much energy I put into ignoring them.
I’m in love with him. I’m sure of it. He’s...everything. And I’m afraid that when he learns everything that I, myself, have just learned, when he has a firm understanding of what I am, that he won’t want to stick around.
Those aren’t his words. No, his words and actions have been the opposite. But for how long does a person want to have to deal with someone else’s oddities? It’s taken me years, and I’m still struggling.
But, for tonight, I’m just exhausted, right down to the bone. I don’t want to think about dead people, or emotions that aren’t mine, or psychotic crazy people worming their way into my head.
I don’t even want to think about Beau.
I want to sleep a dreamless sleep, and wake up tomorrow refreshed and ready to face this all head on. Because I have a feeling I’m in for the fight of my life.
Chapter Fifteen
~Beau~
“Why aren’t you with Mallory tonight?” Callie asks me from behind the bar at the Odyssey. Ben and I ended up here a couple of hours ago.
“She’s not feeling great,” I reply and sip my beer. “I offered to go over, but she sounded exhausted, so here we are.”
“I’m glad. We don’t see as much of you these days.”
I frown at my sister-in-law just as Ben nods.
“You see just as much of me now as you did before Mallory.”
“Negative,” Ben replies but shrugs good-naturedly. “But it’s okay. That’s normal.”
“Do you guys need something?” I ask, concerned that I’ve been slacking off on my family since Mal came into my life.
“No, big brother,” Declan says as he takes the stool on the other side of me. “We’re fine, and you’re happy. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
“I like her,” Callie says with a grin. “And I can see that you like her. A lot.”
“Are we in the ninth grade?” I ask the room at large and then take another sip of my beer as they all dissolve into laughter. “She’s great. We’re great. Everyone is great. Change of subject, how are you, Dec?”
“I’m great too.” He smiles and gazes over at his bride. “I have to go up to Nashville for a couple of days next week for some studio work.”
“Nice,” Ben says. “Working with anyone I would know?”
“Of course,” Declan replies. “But I can’t tell you who. I had to sign an NDA on this one.”
“Fancy,” Callie says with a wink. “He won’t even tell me, and I even offered lots of sexual favors.”
“I’m hoping I still get those,” Declan replies. “You’ll all know soon enough.
Artists are all different, and this one wants absolute confidentiality.”
“Huh,” I reply and shrug. “Well, have a good time.”
“I will; it’s only for a couple of days.”
“If you need anything while he’s gone,” Ben offers, “just give one of us a call.”
“You know, there are perks to being married into this family,” Callie replies with a wink. “I have access to a whole gaggle of handsome men to save me.”
Declan smirks. “You don’t need saving, sugar.”
“Of course not,” she agrees. “But it’s nice to have lots of handsome men at the ready, just in case.”
“How are things with you, Ben?” Declan asks.
“Good. Business is good at the dojo.” He passes his empty bottle to Callie, and just asks for water for the next round. Ben is a healthy guy, but as a Krav Maga master, he has to be. “I hired two more masters to help with classes. I prefer to do them all myself, but apparently people want to beat the crap out of each other in New Orleans, so I added more help.”
“You’re as much of a workaholic as the rest of us,” I reply.
“That’s why he fits into our family so well,” Dec says. “He gets us.”
I nod, watching Ben thoughtfully.
“So when are you going to ask Savannah out on a real date?” Callie asks, in pure Callie fashion. No beating around the bush with this woman.
Ben’s eyes widen and he takes a sip of his water and frowns.
“We’re friends,” he says.
“Friends who look at each other like they want to tear each other’s clothes off and go at it against any available surface.”
“That’s how she looks at me,” Declan says with a smug smile.
“I’ve actually been wanting to talk to you about this,” I say to Ben, whose shoulders hunch just a bit in defense. “Stop brooding.”
“I’m not fucking brooding,” he replies. “And I’ll take that second beer now.”
“Sure,” Callie says with a happy, innocent smile.
She’s not innocent in the least.
“The thing is,” I begin, “Van’s been single for a couple of years now. She’s doing so much better, and we all know that’s partly because of you. You’ve been a good friend to her.”
“Exactly,” he says, cocking a brow. “She’s made it clear that I’m squarely positioned in the friend zone. I’m up to my fucking ears in the friend zone. So no, I won’t be taking her out on a date any time soon. Or ever.”
“Jesus, men are dumb,” Callie says, rolling her eyes.
“Hey!”
“Sorry, but you are. I see the way you look at her, Ben. And frankly, she looks at you the exact same way.”
“Bullshit.”
“No. It’s not bullshit.”
“Look,” I say, interrupting. “All I’m saying is, it’s okay with us if you decide that you do want to date her. Or whatever.”
“No,” Declan says, “no whatever without dating her. You’re our best friend, but she’s our sister. If you whatever and don’t date her, we’ll all kick your ass.”
“I’d like to see that,” Ben says with a smirk. “You don’t have anything to worry about.”
“Beau’s always worrying about someone,” Declan says, clapping me on the shoulder. “If there’s nothing to worry about, he panics.”
I roll my eyes and take the last sip of my beer.
“Another?” Callie asks.
“No, thanks. I’ll take the water too. Okay, let’s leave Ben alone. How are you, Callie?”
“Never better,” she says, her smile bright. “My bar rocks.”
“Our bar!” her business partner, Adam, calls down from the other end of the bar.
“Whatever!” she calls back and winks at him. “Declan is healthy and happy, you guys don’t suck. Kate’s going to hav
e a baby for the rest of us to spoil, and we don’t have to have one ourselves, which is really selfless of her.”
“Yes, I’m sure that’s what she and Eli were thinking when he knocked her up. Let’s help everyone else out and have a baby,” Ben says with a laugh.
“I agree,” Callie says. “They’re selfless.”
Declan and I share a glance, then laugh.
“So, yeah. Things are good,” she says with a nod.
“Well, now that we’re all caught up, I should head out. I have an early class tomorrow.” Ben stands and pulls out his wallet to pay, but Callie shakes her head and waves him off.
“I’ll walk with you,” I reply and throw down some money, despite Callie’s protest. “I’m paying for my damn beer.”
“You might be the best looking family in Louisiana, but you’re also the most stubborn.”
“We’ll take that as a compliment.” We wave and leave, walking back toward the loft. Ben met me there earlier and we walked to The Odyssey together. “I’m sorry for all the questions about Van,” I say as we set off down the street toward my place.
“I know y’all wish we’d just pull our heads out and get married and have babies, and all of that, but it’s not going to happen, Beau. We’ve known each other all of our lives.”
“But she’s no sister to you,” I reply.
“No, I don’t think of her like a sister.”
“Like you do Gabby and Charly and the rest.”
“True.”
I look over at him. “So?”
“So fucking drop it,” he says and rubs his hand over his face.
“Consider it dropped.”
“Good.”
Meow.
Just as we reach the top of the steps to my flat, we see a little black kitten huddled by my front door.
Meow.
“You got a cat?” Ben asks.
“No, I have no idea where it came from.”
“I wonder if it’s Mallory’s familiar,” Ben says.
“Excuse me?”
“You know, a familiar.”
I simply stare back at him and he sighs in disgust. “Jesus, you live in fucking New Orleans. How do you not know this shit?”
“Maybe I don’t want you to date my sister after all.”
He reaches down and picks up the tiny little fluff ball.
“She has the same blue eyes that Mallory does.”
“Are you implying that Mallory, in the form of a black kitten, is hanging out by my door?”
“It could happen,” he says and lets the kitten burrow down into his neck, purring loudly.
“If Mallory ever snuggles up in your neck and purrs like that, we’re going to have issues.”
He laughs. “True. Probably not Mallory.”
“But…” I pause, looking at the little kitten, a plan forming in my head. “Mallory might like her.”
“I don’t know if you should give a woman a cat as a gift,” Ben says with a frown.
“Let’s go to the pet store to get supplies,” I reply, ignoring him and excited to see the look on her face tomorrow.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
***
The kitten kept me up most of the night. There were several times that I questioned my judgment, but then it would curl up next to me and purr, and well, turns out I’m a softie.
What the fuck is happening to me?
I slip the sleeping kitten inside my jacket and walk down to Mallory’s shop, worried that she might not be there again, but when I walk inside, there she is sitting behind the counter. She glances up, and takes my fucking breath away.
She’s just so damn beautiful.
And mine.
“Hey there,” she says with a welcoming smile. But she has some dark circles under her blue eyes, and she looks…unsettled.
“Hi.”
Meow.
She blinks rapidly. “Is that a cat in your jacket, or are you just happy to see me?”
I smirk and pull the baby out, and Mallory’s face melts the way most women’s faces do when they see a baby of any species.
“Oh my goodness, look at you!”
I can only stare in surprise at the silly baby talk voice coming out of her mouth as she takes the kitten from my hands and snuggles him.
“Oh, he’s so cute.” She kisses his face, and he pats her cheek with his fluffy paw. “Hello, little love. Oh, you’re just precious, aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry, is Mallory here?” I ask with a laugh. “Because I don’t recognize this woman.”
“It’s a baby,” she says, as if that explains it all. “A super cute baby.”
“Well, I’m glad you like him. Or her. I’m not sure which.”
“Are you keeping him?” she asks hopefully.
“No. You are.”
Her gaze whips up to mine and she looks between me and the kitten, as if the little ball of fur is going to confirm what I just said.
“Excuse me?”
“I brought him for you.”
She frowns and sets him on the floor when he squirms to get down and props her hands on her hips.
“What if I don’t like cats?”
I nod. “Yes, because clearly the way you just fawned all over him indicates that you can’t stand him.”
“Well, what if I was allergic?”
Oh God. “Are you?” I ask in horror.
“No.” She watches as the little terrorist bats at a piece of plastic on the floor. “But you should have asked me if I wanted a cat. It’s a living thing, which requires attention. I don’t have any of the supplies.”
“They’re upstairs,” I reply and walk behind the counter to pull her into my arms. “I haven’t seen you in a couple of days.”
“So you bought me a cat?”
“No.” I kiss her forehead, loving the way she fits in my arms.
I love you.
“I missed you. But the cat was on my doorstep last night, and I didn’t have the heart to leave him outside. I thought you might like to keep him. If you don’t, I’m sure Gabby would take him out at the inn. He could be a mouser.”
“Hmm.” She leans her head against my chest, the way she does when she’s had a rough day and just needs a hug. “I’ll keep him.”
Her words are muffled against my chest, but I smile and pat her back.
“Good.”
“He’s really cute.”
“Ben thought he was your familiar.”
Her head jerks up so she can look me in the face. “Really? Ben believes in that stuff?”
“It was a surprise to me,” I reply with a shrug. “I had no idea. You think you know a person.”
“Well, he’s not my familiar,” she says with a chuckle and returns to hugging my chest.
“Do you believe in familiars?” I ask, only knowing what I read about it last night on a Google search.
“I’ve never seen one,” she says. “I think it’s lore, like vampires and such. But who knows?”
“Who knows, indeed?”
“This is nice,” she says and hugs me tighter.
“How do you feel today?”
She’s silent for a moment, then shrugs one shoulder.
“I don’t know what that means,” I say with a laugh and kiss her head. “I need words, please.”
“I’m okay.”
I tip her chin up so I can see her face.
“You look tired.”
“I’ll sleep better tonight.”
“I’m not leaving you alone tonight.”
She smiles widely. “Good.”
“What can I do to help?” I ask softly, hating the sadness in her eyes.
“You’re doing it. I’m really okay, Beau. Yesterday was the anniversary of my grandmother’s death, and that’s always a hard day for me.”
“I get it,” I reply immediately. I dread the anniversary of my dad’s death every year. It’s a shitty day. “I’m sorry.”
“It’ll pass. I found out some
stuff yesterday, but I don’t want to talk about it. Is that okay?”
“Of course.” Suddenly, there’s a crash from across the room and Mal winces.
“Looks like he won’t be a shop cat. He’ll put me out of business.”
“Yes, it’s probably best if he’s a house cat.”
She nods and smiles as the little kitten brushes up against her leg, purring.
“He’s quite…active.”
“Of course he is,” she says with a smile. “He’s a baby. I’ll keep him here with me today, and take him home later.”
“Good idea.” I brush my thumbs under her eyes, not liking the dark circles there in the least. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
She pauses, as if she’s trying to decide what to say, but she just kisses my palm and nods. “I’m okay. Shelly is going to come in this afternoon to close for me, so I’m only working half of the day.”
“Do you mind if I make us dinner this evening?”
She shakes her head. “Not at all. What’s on the menu?”
“Well, I confess that although I can cook, I’m not the best cook. But I make a fantastic spaghetti.”
“Spaghetti it is then.”
***
“He so cute!” Mallory says from the couch in her living room. She’s been home with the kitten for a couple of hours. I just arrived with groceries for dinner, and some forget-me-nots the same color as her eyes. “And he’s already figured out the litter box.”
“What are you going to call him?” I ask.
“I’ve narrowed it down to Binx and Kat with a K.”
I stop stirring the sauce and stare at her for a moment, then bust up laughing.
“What? I like them both!”
“I didn’t say anything. Besides, you’re really not a “fluffy” kind of person.”
“He is fluffy,” she says and takes a sip of the red wine I poured her when I arrived. “But fluffy is really a girl’s name. I think I’ll go with Binx.”
“Binx it is.” I let the pasta fall into boiling water, give it a stir, and join her on the couch. “You look better this evening.”
“Did I look horrible earlier?”
“Not horrible, but troubled. I don’t like it when you’re not well. I would much rather trade places with you.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to trade places with me.”