by Sienna Blake
Father Laurence placed his hand upon my shoulder. “What if it wasn’t you who darkened her life, but she who lightened yours?”
She could. Her light was strong enough to save cities from themselves. The Princess of Light.
I shrugged his hand off me and let out a humorless laugh. “Let’s face it, Father. I’m not worth saving.”
8
____________
Julianna
I couldn't believe what I'd done. Every time I thought of how I touched myself at that window my body shivered with fever. Not just from the echoes of lust in my body, but of the shame, of the bitter-burnt rejection when I asked—no, begged—for Roman to come here, and all he did was to hang up.
Days went by. I didn’t hear from Roman. No texts, no calls, no surprise visits. And no roses. No damn roses. I hated that I would have given anything to get the silky folds of another fragrant flower nestled in a white box. I doubted I’d hear from him again. I refused to message him. I had my pride. My cheeks seared as my actions flashed before my eyes again. I cringed. When would I ever get over it?
I kept my windows locked and my curtains closed at night, a sign to him, if he was even still watching, that I simply didn’t care. I was determined to just forget about him.
Easier said than done.
I pushed through the building door into my lobby at the end of a long, frustrating day. The sound of the elevator dinging closed caught my attention. I was about to yell out for the occupants to hold the doors when I caught sight of the unmistakable frame of Roman, dark shirt, dark jeans, a grim look on his face. Nora was in there next to him. He looked up and right at me just before the elevator doors closed.
What was he doing here? With Nora?
But I knew. I had broken into his world and rattled his cages when I manipulated my way into his apartment, when I entered Nonna’s house, when I had dared to walk masked among his friends at Fated. He was now doing the same to me. This was payback. No more free passes.
I sprinted for the open stairwell and leapt up the stairs, taking two at a time. They spat me out onto my floor, my hand going to the gun in my holster. I heard a familiar gruff voice. Nora’s door shut behind him, muffling him. She’s in there with him, alone. If he hurts her…
I readied my gun as I moved swiftly to her front door. I pressed my ear against the door to listen for a brief second.
“No, don’t.” I heard Nora’s voice through the wood.
I couldn’t wait. She was in trouble. I tested the handle. Thank God, it was unlocked. I shoved open the door and leapt into her apartment, gun first. “Freeze!”
Nora jumped, the jam jar in her hand slipping and crashing to the floor. Roman didn’t seem so startled. He lifted his hands in the air, one of them holding a cereal box, the other a bunch of bananas. There were grocery bags sitting on the kitchen counter. I pointed the barrel at Roman. “Turn around.”
He gave me a smirk before turning. His black t-shirt stretched across his wide back and fitted jeans hugged his firm, round butt. No gun tucked into his belt. Where was his gun?
I caught Roman looking at me over his shoulder. “If you wanted to check out my ass, you could have just said so.”
My cheeks burned.
Nora dropped her hands down on her hips and let out a tut. “What in tarnation do you think you’re doing? Leaping into my apartment waving a gun like that. You scared the bejesus out of me. You could’ve given me a heart attack.”
I stared between Roman and Nora. Roman, the bastard, was watching me with amusement.
“I thought you were in trouble. I thought he…” My words died in my throat when I realized how ridiculous I sounded. Nora had no idea that the Prince of Darkness himself was standing in her kitchen helping unpack her groceries.
“You thought I was going to harm your neighbor?” Roman asked, his features tightening, his hands still in the air. “Is that truly how little you think of me?”
Now I just felt bad.
“Jesus Christ, Julianna,” Nora said. “Stop pointing that thing at him. You’ve been more jumpy than normal lately.” She leaned towards Roman and spoke to him from behind a hand, loud enough for me to hear. “I keep telling her she just needs to get laid.”
My cheeks burned. I didn’t care how relieved I was that Nora wasn’t in any danger, I was going to kill her myself. If I didn’t die of embarrassment first.
A grin began to form on Roman’s face. “Isn’t that funny,” he said, his eyes locked on mine, “that’s what I keep telling her.”
I’d have to kill him too.
I lowered my weapon but I didn’t slip it into my holster. I wasn’t ready to lower my guard just yet. Roman placed the box of cereal and bananas on the table before stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his dark jeans, a deceptively boyish move. Trust me, there was nothing boyish about this man. I hated myself for running my eyes greedily over his wide frame, his firm chest, his tousled hair getting caught in his long, dark lashes. Damn him for looking so good. My heart gave out a little kick of agreement. And damn you, heart. You’re supposed to be on my side.
I glared at Roman, the anger and shame from the way he’d rejected me the last time we spoke resurfacing to heat the underside of my skin.
If I were there…
Come here, then.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, my voice hard. “What do you want?”
You didn’t hurt me enough the last time we spoke? Come back to rub it in? You will not find a stupid little girl pining over you, Roman Tyrell.
“Julianna Abigail Capulet,” Nora snapped. “I’m embarrassed for you. There’s no reason to be so rude to this nice young man.”
Roman Tyrell was a nice young man. And the devil was just a guy in a red suit.
If only she knew the truth about Roman. I wasn’t about to tell her. Not while the Mafia prince was standing here smirking at me.
“I was struggling with my groceries when dear Roman offered to help. He was waiting for you outside the building.”
I stared at Roman. “Why were you waiting for me?”
He shrugged, making his shoulders appear even more rounded, then shot me a roguish grin. I bet that grin got its fair share of use. I bet it worked too. Well, it wouldn’t work on me. “I just wanted to see you again.”
Liar. He wanted something. I could see it in the way he eyed me, like a cat eyeing a mouse. I wasn’t going to like whatever he came here for.
“Now that you’re home, Julianna, you two kids can catch up. In your apartment. Alone.” Nora gave me a big obvious wink and began to herd us both out of her apartment. “I can handle these groceries myself now, thank you.”
“Are you sure I can’t help clean up?” asked Roman, indicating the mess of jam and glass on the floor. I almost snorted. Suck up.
Nora, the flirt, just swooned at him and clasped her hands together. “Such manners! They don’t make men like you these days.”
“It won’t be any trouble, ma’am.”
“Oh, go on now. I’ll be fine, thank you.” She even had the nerve to bat her eyelashes up at him. Roman bowed—bowed? Who did he think he was?—to her before holding an arm out to me. “Ladies first.”
I glared at him. “And turn my back on you? Not a chance in hell.”
“Julianna!” Nora admonished me again.
Roman dipped his head at Nora, an amused twist to his lips. “It’s fine. She just wants to watch the view as I walk away.” He winked as he sauntered past me.
The nerve! I was left gaping after him.
Nora shoved me out the door after Roman before I could protest. “You have fun with this handsome young man, Julianna.” She sent me a grin, wiggled her eyebrows, and gave me a thumbs up before she slammed the door in my face. Leaving me in the corridor alone. With Roman Tyrell.
9
____________
Julianna
I stood there staring at Nora’s closed door, debating over whether banging on it for her to let
me in would seem smart or just cowardly. I could feel Roman’s stare burning into my back.
“You’re going to have to face me at some point, Jules.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Dear God, if you exist, please let him be gone when I turn around.
I turned around slowly. And opened my eyes.
Roman was still standing there, a grin on his face, his gaze roaming over me. He winked at me when I caught his eye, immune to the daggers I was throwing at him. How was it fair that a man could be equally gorgeous and infuriating? I wonder if he’d still be smirking if I shot him.
Suddenly I was conscious that I was at the end of a long day. I hadn’t showered. I probably looked like shit. I was scared to smell myself.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” I hissed in a low voice, because I knew that nosy Nora would have her ear glued to the other side of that door.
Roman cleared his throat and nodded at something to my left. One of my other neighbors was opening the door to her apartment, her buggy and three-year-old appearing as the door widened. I hid my gun at my side. This was not a conversation that we could have now. Chances were high that a concerned neighbor might call the cops on us. Wouldn’t it be a fun thing trying to explain why I was arguing with the heir to the blood empire right outside my apartment?
I growled and shoved past Roman, cursing my own body when tingles radiated from where I touched him. I unlocked my apartment and stomped inside. Maybe if I shut the door on him he’d just go away?
He jammed his boot into the doorway with lightning reflexes when I tried. Goddamn it. I glared at him. He smiled serenely at me.
“Get your foot out.”
“Let me come in.”
“Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.”
His smile turned wolfish. “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow you until you scream my name.”
My cheeks heated as I got a flash of his face between my thighs. “That’s not how the rhyme goes,” I said through a clenched jaw.
“Let me in, Jules. I promise I won’t bite. Not unless you ask nicely.”
Curse him. He wasn’t about to take his foot from the doorway. I could shoot it. But then I’d have to explain myself. And paperwork. I hated paperwork.
“I just want to talk,” he said. “Five minutes, that’s all I’m asking for.”
Better to get this over with. “You get two.”
“Four.”
“Two.”
“Fine, two.” He shook his head, a small smile on his lips. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was pride on his face. “You drive a hard bargain.”
Despite my better judgment, I stepped aside and swung the door open. “Get in before I change my mind.”
Roman strode inside my apartment. I locked the door behind him. He stood in my living room as casually as if I’d invited him in for tea. “Your neighbor Nora thinks I’m handsome,” he said, flashing me a smirk. “Do you think I’m handsome?”
“Nora is a sixty-something year old senior with bad eyesight.”
Roman laughed. “I notice you didn’t deny that you thought I was handsome.”
Arrogant bastard. “As handsome as you are infuriating.”
His grin widened. “And we all know how infuriating you find me.”
I rolled my eyes. “One minute and forty-five seconds left. What the hell do you want, Roman?”
“Would you believe me if…” There was suddenly a softness to his voice. It seemed out of place with the rest of him. “If I told you I just wanted to see you again?”
I blinked. “Why would you want that?”
“I…I can’t seem to stop thinking about you.”
Wait. What now?
He frowned, looking almost confused. “It’s very frustrating. Highly inconvenient.”
“You poor thing,” I breathed. He can’t stop thinking about me. Just like I can’t stop thinking of him.
“Usually I don’t have any trouble getting over… But you…” he trailed off.
I let out a laugh. “This is a trick. A trap. A way to get me off your case.”
“Why would I do that? I’ve heard that I’ve officially been cleared from the Torrito case. My alibi checks out.”
“This is some kind of game, then.”
“Trust me,” he muttered. “If I could have avoided coming here, I would have.”
What was that supposed to mean? “You mean to tell me that all your other lady friends weren’t available at this moment?”
He grimaced. “I don’t care about them.”
“Good,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
“I don’t even want them to touch me.” His face twisted into a mask of anger. “What are you doing to me, Julianna? What the fuck are you doing to me?” He blamed me. He hated me for haunting him just as he haunted me. He took a step towards me. Genuine fear gripped my body.
“Stay right there.” I lifted my gun out of instinct.
“What is it about you? Why you?” He ignored my gun, stalking even closer. So close that his cedar and musky cologne filled my nose.
I only realized I had been retreating when my back touched the door. I sucked in a breath. “Don’t come any closer or I’ll shoot.”
Of course, he didn’t listen. He stepped before me, grabbed my gun barrel and shoved it against his chest, right over his heart.
My finger twitched towards the trigger. He was a known criminal from a known criminal family. He was in my home. I was just defending myself. No judge in the world would ever convict me if I pulled the trigger.
The anger slipped from his face, replaced with a look of resignation. “If you’re going to shoot me, Julianna, just do it. It’ll save you and the rest of the world a whole lot of hell.”
I knew at that moment that there was a part of Roman Tyrell that wanted to die. He wasn’t fearless as I suspected; a part of him didn’t care whether he lived or not. Or perhaps a part of him didn’t think his life was worth it.
My shoulders sank. My hand sagged. I couldn’t shoot him. Because fight it as I might, I knew that his was a life worth saving. I pulled my finger away from the trigger and loosened my grip. You win, Roman. You win.
He moved the gun out from between us. I let him. He slid it onto the table beside the door, clanking against the bowl where I usually threw my keys. He closed the distance between us, the heat of his warm chest pressing right up against mine. The back of my head knocked up against the door. The breath caught in my throat.
“I can’t stop thinking about that night,” he said, his eyes drilling into mine. “I wish I had come over when you asked…”
No. Don’t do this. I don’t know if I have the strength to stop you. “Don’t say that.”
“I can’t get you out of my head. You plague me when I’m awake. You haunt me when I’m asleep. The memory of your beautiful naked body echoes in my brain on repeat until I can’t take it anymore and I have to… release the pressure.”
Oh my God. Did he just admit…?
He lifted a hand and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ears. That simple touch set off a shower of sparks inside me. “Do you like hearing that I touch myself when I think of you?” His fingers stroked my cheek and heat fissured through me. If he touched me in the right place, I’d break apart. “Do you like knowing that it’s your name I hiss upon my release?”
I couldn’t speak. I could barely move, a stunned doe in the headlights.
He reached around my neck and gripped my hair, holding my head still. His eyes glittered with pure intent as he went in for the kill. “Ask me to come over again.”
I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have let him in. His flirtatious teasing earlier was just a cover, a trick to get himself inside. Here was his real intention. His gaze dropped to my lips and he lowered his mouth.
Kiss me.
“Don’t,” I whispered, a pathetic attempt at stopping him. It was all I had. My body was betraying me, aching for him, wet for him, be
gging to unfold for him.
His lips missed my mouth and I could have cried. He brushed them against my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “I would never take what’s not being offered. Ask me to come over.”
“No,” I said, my mutinous voice coming out like a breathless plea rather than a command.
His hand remained in my hair, holding me to the door with that single touch. I could get away if I wanted to but…I didn’t want to.
He nipped down the sensitive pulse in my neck. My mind was screaming what the fuck are you doing? but my body refused to budge. My knees began to shake when his tongue joined his lips and his teeth, searing a line across my collarbone, down, down, down the V of my shirt. He licked a line across the inner swell of my left breast. I let out a soft cry.
“Ask me,” his voice rumbled against my breastbone, heightening the pressure in my aching wet core.
I was going to lose my mind. I could barely hang on to the only sane part of my brain that knew it would be a long, hard fall I’d never recover from.
“You wanted it before. You still want it. Let’s put our lives aside. Let’s give in to this attraction,” he continued between kisses that ran up my other breast, then towards my chin. He was saying everything I had wanted to hear days ago.
If I were there…
Come here, then.
He was here now. He was here now, offering himself to me. Take it. Take him.
Something stopped me. The delicate wound of his previous rejection throbbed in my chest. What if I gave in, exposing my desires to him? What if he changed his mind again? I wasn’t sure I could bear it.
“If we gave in…” His tongue flicked my earlobe, causing my eyes to roll back into my head. I gripped on to his shoulders like he was the only thing holding me on this earth. “We could get it out of our system.”
My eyes snapped open as the truth hit me like a bolt of lightning. I could fool myself into believing that being with him would get him out of my system. I knew deep down it wouldn’t. He was already under my skin, soaking into me like ink. There was no getting him out. Giving in to him now would mean falling further. There’d be no safety net when I landed. Not for me.