Her phone beeped in her purse.
* D: you look SO HOT!
You make me want to be very bad man. x *
“Kirsty, did you send that photo of me to Daniel?”
Kirsty grinned at her. “Guilty as charged. What did he say?”
“Nothing really,” mumbled Lisanne.
“Oh my God! I bet he did! What did he say?” and she snatched the phone from Lisanne.
“Hey!”
Kirsty giggled hysterically.
“Share! Share!” chanted Rodney.
“Kirsty!” hissed Lisanne.
“He says she looks hot,” said Kirsty.
“That’s a given,” agreed Rodney.
“And that the way she looks makes him want to be a very bad man!”
“Oh, yes, please!” gulped Rodney with a melodramatic sigh, fanning his face.
Lisanne slunk down in the car, beyond embarrassed, while her so-called friends made a number of suggestions about how she could take Daniel up on his offer. She wanted to crawl through the floor of the car – or take notes.
Quietly, she texted him back.
* L: I’m freaking out. Wish you were here. LA xx *
* D: You will be awesome
and now I know what I’m talking about. X *
* L: Hope so! LA xx*
It was Saturday night and the club was jammed. People were lined up along the block to get in. As they walked past them to the staff entrance, Lisanne started to feel nauseous. Breathe, Lis. Breathe, she told herself.
They knocked on the door and were let in by two supervisors that Lisanne had never seen before. She felt a slight pang for Roy’s reassuring bulk, then chastised herself for being so dumb.
Daniel was waiting in the dressing room with Mike, JP and Carlos. They were drinking beer and whiskey chasers – without the beer – and all four of them looked nervous.
Daniel’s face lit up as he saw her, and her body flamed as his eyes drifted down her legs and settled somewhere around her chest, before realizing he’d been busted ogling his girlfriend. His sexy smile was inflammatory and he prowled over to her, cupping his hands over her ass.
“Am I allowed to kiss you?” he said, hungrily licking her neck.
“No!” said Lisanne. “Well, not my lips. Kirsty spent forever doing my makeup.”
Daniel pouted. “Baby doll, you look so fucking kissable – how is that fair?”
Lisanne realized he was slightly drunk and she frowned at him.
“What?” he said, smirking at her, and running his tongue along his teeth.
She shook her head, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to be stern – he was too damn cute.
“I want to take you home and undress you slowly,” he said.
Lisanne shivered and broke out into a cold sweat. He was doing a great job of taking her mind off of the gig, and the four hundred people crammed into the club.
She realized he was wearing his beanie – which meant he was wearing his CI. Although the scars had faded into a faint, pink line, and his hair had grown out, he still wore the beanie to cover up the device.
“Are you turned on?” she said, then immediately regretted her choice of words.
Daniel raised his eyebrows. “That’s a bit fucking forward, Ms Maclaine, but seeing as you ask…” and he pushed his hips into her.
Yep, no doubt. He was turned on.
“I meant your… you know,” she hissed, swatting his ass.
He smiled ruefully and shook his head. “No, I might try it later but I don’t think I’ll get anything – too much background noise – too many different sounds,” and he grimaced.
She rested her head against his chest until JP gave a discreet cough.
She looked up and smiled at Daniel. “I’ll see you out front?”
“I’ll be there, baby doll. Ready to punch any fucker who lays so much as an eyeball on you.”
He winked at her and left her with the rest of the band members. Lisanne hoped he was joking, but she wasn’t sure.
They ran through the set they were going to sing, and she sang some scales to warm up her voice. Then the emcee announced them…
“Playing live tonight, a hot, happening local band, let’s hear it for 32 Degrees North!”
Lisanne took a deep breath, offered up a quick prayer, and walked out onto the stage with her head held high.
Mike, Carlos and JP ripped out the opening bars of Mercy and Lisanne began to move, her eyes scanning the crowed until she found the face she was looking for.
He was standing with Vin, Kirsty, Rodney and Ryan, a huge smile on his face.
Lisanne opened her mouth and began to sing.
She felt the music surge through her, making her strong and powerful. She was where she was meant to be – making music – sharing music with everyone there. Her voice soared, filling the dingy room, lifting the rafters and pouring into every corner.
Rodney’s mouth dropped open, awe and wonder in every aspect of his expression.
The band worked through Imagine Dragon’s Radioactive, were all over Gloriana’s Wild at Heart, played Lisanne’s two favorites of Daniel’s songs, On My Mind and Total Recall, and totally nailed Black Sheep and Man Like That. All Lisanne needed was Gin Wigmore’s tattoos.
Then came the moment Lisanne was most looking forward to, and most dreading.
“Thank you, guys! You’re great!” yelled JP, the newly appointed spokesperson for the band. “We’re going to try a new number tonight,” he said, strapping on his acoustic guitar, “specially chosen by our amazing singer Lisanne Maclaine!”
She saw Daniel touching his ear and she knew, she knew that he’d be able to hear her.
I’m really close tonight.
I feel like he’s moving inside me.
Lying in the dark
I think that I’m beginning to know him.
Let it go
I’ll be there when you call.
Lisanne’s amplified voice soared over the soft sounds of the acoustic guitar – a pure, clear note of love. Daniel’s face had frozen, gazing up at her. Did he understand? Did he understand what she was trying to say to him?
And whenever I fall at your feet
Won’t you let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain.
His eyes seemed glassy, but he hadn’t moved.
Don’t hide it from me now.
There’s something in the way
that you’re talking.
Words don’t sound right
I hear them all moving inside you.
You know
I’ll be waiting when you call.
Lisanne poured every ounce of emotion, of respect and admiration and love into the song – everything she felt for the man standing in front of her.
The finger of blame has turned upon itself
And I am more than willing to offer myself
Do you want my presence or need my help?
Who knows where that might lead.
I fall.
I fall at your feet.
Fall at your feet.
The crowd burst into applause, screaming and shouting their approval, feeling everything that Lisanne had shown them.
Daniel nodded his head, a blinding smile accentuating the tears in his eyes.
He raised his hands and sent the message that meant so much to both of them. The soundless words that expressed the road they had traveled together.
I hear you, he said with his hands. I hear you.
Epilogue – One Year Later
Daniel was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the sink, an amused look on his face.
“Aren’t you shocked or anything?” Lisanne said, her eyes almost bugging out.
“At which part?” he said, trying not to laugh. “That Harry has a girlfriend or that your mom caught them making out?”
“You knew!” she said accusingly.
“Sure. He texted me… for tips.”
“U
gh!” said Lisanne, “I don’t want to know!”
He laughed. “Fine. Change of subject. What do you think of the new song?”
His expression was tense, as Lisanne looked up at him.
Even after all this time, his beauty still took her breath away. His perfect cheekbones, his full lips, the sparkle of mischief in his hazel eyes. His hair was longer than when she first met him, but that was to help disguise the shaved area where the transmitter attached, as well as his CI. He still wore his beanie most of the time but occasionally, in the summer, he’d go without it.
It had been the talk of the college when word got around that Daniel Colton, the Daniel Colton, was deaf. A lot of people hadn’t believed it, and Shawna had laughed out loud at the notion, until Kirsty had a quiet word with her.
To Lisanne’s disgust, Shawna had finally dropped her pursuit of Daniel after the revelation. Kirsty didn’t see much of her course mate after that. Vin wasn’t the only one who was relieved.
Daniel hadn’t changed his mind about not wanting people to know, but when he’d made it onto the football team with Vin at the end of his first year, some PR person in the administration had decided it would be good for the college to be seen as supporting equal opportunities.
Daniel had been furious, throwing a shit fit of epic proportions, and threatened to kick some asses, change colleges, or drop out altogether. Lisanne had persuaded him to do none of those things, and to simply suck it up.
It had been one hell of a fight, followed by a whole weekend of make up sex. That was something that hadn’t changed – they fought like crazy, and their passion for each other still blazed. Rodney had gotten used to turning his music up loud – a lot.
When Lisanne had moved in with Daniel at the beginning of her second college year, her parents had resigned themselves to the fact that their only daughter was living in sin. Although the fact that the son of a preacher shared the house had given them some peace of mind – until Reverend Dubois had informed them that his son was gay.
They hadn’t had much to say after that.
Zef had been sent down for seven years, although it was possible he’d get out in five, and was currently residing in the State Prison.
He’d been charged with intent to supply and distribute, which was a felony offense. The police had timed their raid badly – from their point of view – finding Zef with less than 10 pounds of ‘product’. The sentence was two to 15 years in prison for a meth possession conviction, so both brothers knew he’d been lucky – very lucky. If he’d had the usual amount of drugs stored at the house, it would have been a lot worse. Zef had also consistently refused to name his supplier, on the grounds that he was more scared of them than of the police. And although he didn’t explain further, he didn’t want the potential fallout of naming names to come back to bite his little brother – especially as he wasn’t there to protect him anymore.
Daniel saw Zef once a month and although he’d asked Lisanne to visit with him, so far she’d refused. He was confident that he’d break her down eventually.
His own case had been dropped due to Zef’s insistence that the resin dope was his, and the fact that Daniel had continued to deny knowing about anything.
Roy had disappeared, but Zef had heard on the prison grapevine that he’d gotten into some shit in Virginia. Nobody seemed to know the details and cared less, except perhaps Lisanne, who still had a soft spot for the man mountain.
They saw Cori occasionally, although now she was in DC at Gallaudet, it was only during the holidays. It had taken a while, but she’d accepted Daniel’s choice in the end. She’d also made the decision to work on her own communication with hearing people, and was attending a speech therapy class. But she still felt that ASL was her first language.
The implant seemed to have settled to a reasonable level. On the down side, Daniel still couldn’t use a telephone, but he sometimes watched TV without the subtitles, although he found it tiring. When he’d started the CI tuning sessions, Dr. Devallis had insisted that Daniel shouldn’t use TV subtitles, on the grounds that this would help train him to use his device properly. Lisanne reminded Daniel of that fact constantly. Sometimes he did as she suggested. But only sometimes. On the plus side, he’d been to an ordinary movie for the first time in four years. True, it was a shoot ‘em up sort of film with minimal dialog, but it had made him happy.
It had made Kirsty happy, too, because Vin had gone to the movie without her. This left Kirsty to enjoy a girly evening in with Lisanne and Rodney.
But the best thing, the absolute best thing, was that Daniel found he could hear well enough to play the guitar. His weekend work in the auto repair shop had earned him enough money to buy a decent instrument – not as good as the Martin that he’d lost, but good enough. He couldn’t play in the band or listen to amplified music – there were too many complexities of sound for him to handle – but he could play for Lisanne. And he could write songs again.
This had been huge for both of them, and it gave them hope for the future. Maybe their life could be in music. 32o North had developed a solid following locally. None of them dared suggest it could be more – that was too much like tempting fate – but individually, they hoped.
For Daniel most of all, neither the limitations of the past, nor fear of the future held him back.
“Yeah, it’s a great song,” Lisanne said, enthusiastically. “I love it! It’ll fit in with the longer set we play really well.” She glanced across at Daniel and couldn’t help smiling when she saw the tattoo on the inside of his left wrist that had the letters ‘LA’ surrounded by stars. “And the lyrics in the second verse were just beaut… Hey! I’m not going to talk to you if you’re not interested.”
“I am, baby doll,” he said as he gazed out of the window, “because that’s…”
CRASH!
Daniel jumped as Lisanne knocked over her coffee mug, the dark liquid dripping across the table and onto the floor.
She was staring at him, open mouthed.
“What the fuck?”
“You were listening,” she said.
“Yeah? So?”
“Daniel, you were listening! You weren’t looking at me! You were just listening!”
He looked up slowly and gazed at her in wonder.
“You heard me!” she whispered.
He closed his eyes and blinked several times. When he looked at her again, his eyes were blazing.
“I heard you. Oh, God, I heard you.” His head dropped to his chest and he blew out a shaky breath. “I love you, baby doll. So much.”
THE END
Note from the author
The title of this book is taken from the well known phrase coined by Lady Caroline Lamb. She described her lover, the poet Lord Byron, with the words, ‘Mad, bad and dangerous to know’.
The following lines are taken from Bryon’s poem ‘The Corsair’, but I think they describe Daniel at the start of this story.
That man of loneliness and mystery,
Scarce seen to smile, and seldom heard to sigh.
Thank you for reading
And a big thank you to all the lovely people who have helped me, before, during, and after writing this book.
This story was inspired by my father who had his own battle with hearing loss. But there are many other people who’ve been with me on this journey, too. So I’d like to thank all these lovely people…
Special thanks to Jane Goodfellow who checked all the details on cochlear implants and for her wonderful blog http://deafbecomesher.blogspot.co.uk; Brett Robertson, General Manager at the Ear Science Institute, Australia; Ear Sciences Centre, School of Surgery, University of Western Australia; Gemma Upson, Manager, Cochlear Implant Centre; Benjamin Von Schuch, Attorney, for explaining the Georgia speeding laws.
The Book Bloggers
Aestas Book Blog; Smitten’s Book Blog; Totally Booked – Jenny, Gitte and Trish; Rose, The Book List Reviews; Angie, The Smut Club; Lindsay, Madison Says; Lisa, The Indie
Bookshelf; Emily and the Girls, The Sub Club Books; Lori’s Book Blog; Crystal’s Random Thoughts; Marie, Book Crush; Bookish Temptations; CBL Book Reviews; Fifty Shades of Tribute; Liezel’s Book Blog; Live Love Laugh & Read; Once Upon a Twilight; Read This – Hear That; Read-Love-Blog; Romantic Book Affairs; Scandaliciious Book Reviews; Selena Lost in Thought; The Autumn Review; The Book Hookers; The Boyfriend Bookmark; The Drunken Pervy Creepers; The Forbidden Book Affair; Twilight – the Missing Pieces (PA Lassiter); Waves of Fiction.
The Fans
RRR – where it all started (and many, many more, you know who you are); FanFiction; FIB friends; Goodreads; readers of The Education of series
The Betas
Who weren’t afraid to tell me what they thought. Lara Davis Mattox; Laura McCarthy Benson (even though she was moving house and state at the time; Kirsty Lander; Kirsten Papajik (honey, your name just pops up everywhere in my thanks – you know why); Trina Miciotta. And to Fred LeBaron, for your kind and patient ways of answering all questions.
The Advance Readers
Who are important in soothing our nerves and telling us, ‘it’ll be alright!’
Vikki; Lise *the deleted gif gal*; Becka;It’s just me Shelly B; KatLynne; Baba; April; Jen; Elizabeth; Sleepy; Reese Call (research queen); Wendy LeGrand; Audrey Orielle (bonkers in a good way); Dina Fardon Eidinger (for instituting Sebastian Sunday and excellent research on pictures of hot guys); Dorota Wrobel and pB (always wild, always wonderful); Cori Pitts (whose name I shamelessly stole) and her mum Shirley Wilkinson; Christopher Lindsay (so strong); Sasha Cameron (a friend I’ve never met); Ana Alfano (whose scary brightness is matched only by her wonderfully bizarre humour); Ellen Totten (always a lady); Jacqueline Tria (for helping me make the dialogue hip, daddy-o); and a special thank you to Lara (again).