Once the shockwaves of pleasure were gone, I slowly pulled out of her. Shifting to her side, I gently kissed her shoulder. “I love you,” I murmured, my breath still quick.
“I love you too,” she said, an unstoppable grin on her face. The smile quickly shifted into a frown, though, and she studied me for a moment before asking, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Scoffing, I indicated my bare body with my hand. There had to be visible waves of bliss rising off my skin with how good I felt. “Don’t I look okay?”
Her eyes slowly scanned my body, and the surveillance started reigniting me. God, I just couldn’t get enough of her. “Always,” she murmured. Then her expression grew serious. “But the dream…and even before that, you weren’t sleeping well. I could tell.”
I hated the fact that I’d disrupted her rest. This was her house, so she should be able to sleep soundly inside it. “I’m sorry about that. I really am fine, though, Kenzie. I promise.” Hoping I truly meant that, I kissed her soft skin again. “Hey,” I said, propping myself up on an elbow. “Since we’re up early, do you want to go for a run or something?”
For a moment, the look on Kenzie’s face was really strange. It was almost like she was looking for deceit or a cover-up in my eyes. I kept my face as unchanging as possible. She wouldn’t trust me with my feelings for Felicia overnight. I just had to keep trying to show her that she had my heart in her hands; one day she might believe it. “Sure,” she finally answered.
We took our time getting out of bed, and there was plenty of touching, kissing, and fondling before we finally threw off the covers. It was still pretty chilly, so we both dressed in long layers—luckily, I had clothes and a pair of athletic shoes tucked in her closet from a previous run.
The sun was just rising when we stepped outside—red and orange painted the sky in a colorful mosaic. Kenzie extended her arms over her head, slightly exposing her belly; immediately, I thought we should still be in bed. Lifting her foot, she grabbed her ankle and pulled it in for a quick stretch, then she bounced on her heels to warm up. I was frozen in place, staring at her, and she laughed when she noticed my rapt attention. Giving me a devilish grin, she murmured, “Race me or chase me, Hayes,” then she took off like a bolt of lightning.
Still dazed by her beauty, it took me a second to stop staring and chase after her. It didn’t take long for my competitive spirit to kick in, though, and, before I knew it, I was drowning in endorphins almost as powerful as the ones I felt during sex. God, I loved racing this woman. Even on foot.
The two of us ran until the sun crested the horizon, neither one giving up first place for long. The farther we ran, though, the more I felt the pull of exhaustion; with every mile, my feet felt more like concrete, weighing down my steps. Endurance training just wasn’t my strong suit. On the final stretch back to Kenzie’s house, my body refused to go any faster, and she pulled ahead. When she reached her driveway before me, she jumped up and down with her hands in the air. Even though it was technically poor sportsmanship to celebrate winning like Kenzie did, I loved every second of it. It made me want to find a way for her to compete again, hopefully at Daytona in a few months. Somehow, it just had to be possible.
“Good job, 22,” I panted. “You got me.”
She gave me a breathless grin, but it slowly fell off her face as my words sunk in. I’d called her my old pet name for her—the number she’d raced under. In one sentence, I’d reminded her of everything she’d lost. Goddamn it.
“Kenzie, I’m—”
She stopped my apology with a quick question. “Hungry? I can make a couple of protein shakes for breakfast.”
I nodded. “Sounds great.” Wanting to lighten the mood, I asked, “Can we have bacon too?” She raised an eyebrow, then shook her head and laughed. Mission accomplished. Although, I hadn’t really been joking about the bacon.
The entire time Kenzie made the shakes, I felt like I should apologize. I was beginning to feel like that a lot lately, and it was exhausting. But it couldn’t be helped. Everything seemed to be conspiring against us recently. Story of my fucking life.
“Here you go,” Kenzie said, a smile in her voice as she handed me my bacon-free protein shake.
I took it, but my expression wasn’t nearly as happy as hers. “A little grease never hurt anyone, you know,” I told her.
“A little less grease and you might have beat me,” she retaliated. I scowled at her, but hearing the humor in her voice made a warmth bloom inside me. Humor meant we were okay.
There was a challenge in her deep brown eyes that was captivating, like a moth to a flame, I couldn’t look away. I was just about to tell her exactly what I could do with a little grease when my cell phone on the island chimed with a new message. Smirk on my face, I causally walked over to peek at the notification. What I saw was confusing, so I picked up my phone to check it out. I didn’t recognize the number ending in double fives and double sixes, but the message was clear enough.
‘Hey, it’s Felicia. Keith wanted me to remind you about the team meeting this morning. I guess it’s important, and he doesn’t want you to be late. See you soon.’
Anger boiled through my veins as I stared at my phone. What the hell? I hadn’t had this number when we were together, so Keith must have given it to her. Shit.
“What is it?” I heard Kenzie ask.
Tearing my eyes from the screen, I cursed myself for staring at it for so long, and with such a hard expression on my face. I should have played it cool, no matter what it was. Trying in vain to fix my face, I debated what I could tell her—the truth was obviously out. “I…um…Keith…there’s a team meeting this morning, so I have to go soon.” That was kind of true, so I didn’t feel too guilty saying it. The fib still stung my conscience though. I was trying to convince her I was being faithful by being dishonest. How fucked up was that?
Kenzie’s brow scrunched, and her eyes darted to the screen. Crap, could she read it from her angle? As discreetly as I could, I deleted the message. Kenzie wouldn’t handle it too well if she knew my ex was texting me. Damn it, this was quickly turning into a nightmare. Maybe I should just tell her. But then she’d worry…and there was nothing to worry about. I was over Felicia. One hundred percent over her.
“Oh, okay…” Kenzie mumbled, looking confused.
Not wanting her to dwell on my answer, I quickly tossed out, “Want to go to the track with me today? Say hi to Nikki? Or…do you have more phone calls to make?”
Kenzie sighed, and I could tell she’d let the text go. “I don’t have it in me right now to make more phone calls. Maybe this afternoon I’ll try again…”
She let out another weary exhale, and I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her in for a hug. She needed it. Damn Jordan and his damn vendetta. I was sure she was tired of hearing me say I was sorry, so I remained quiet as I held her, but the words reverberated around my soul anyway.
Like she could see the words on my face, Kenzie avoided direct eye contact with me. “We should shower before we go,” she murmured.
Normally those words would have riled me up, but that wasn’t the feeling in the air right now. “Okay, sweetheart, let’s go shower.”
Kenzie laughed and looked up at me. That word had incensed her when we’d first met. I supposed always having to prove herself in such a male-dominated profession had placed some pretty heavy chips on her shoulders. Coming from the world of street racing, a sport that did not go over well with my new peers, I understood the feeling. My feminizing her like that had instantly raised her hackles, turning her from somewhat cordial to a raging bitch. It amused her now, though, especially since she could repeat the sentiment back to me. “We better get going, sweetheart. Wouldn’t want you to be late.”
She looked at me over her shoulder as she left the room, and I mentally photographed her flirty grin so I could forever store it in my memory. That one’s a keeper.
After a joint shower that was way too quick for my tastes, we g
ot dressed for the day and rolled our street bikes out of Kenzie’s impressively-sized garage. After the door was closed and locked, Kenzie pulled on her helmet and started her engine. I took a long moment to appreciate the beauty of her on a motorcycle before putting on my own helmet. There was just something about Kenzie on a bike that got all my juices flowing—I wanted to hold her, kiss her, race her, and undress her, all at the same time.
Kenzie revved her engine, teasing me, and I quickly straddled my bike and started it. We might not be able to race like we used to, but we could still compete in some small ways. In one smooth move, I turned my bike around and pulled onto the street. Kenzie was a breath behind me. My grin was uncontrollable as I surged forward.
We took it easy as we drove through the town of Oceanside, California, but the second we merged onto the highway, we both leaned over our bikes, lowering our wind resistance, and letting down our guards. Freedom and excitement rushed through me as the thrill of riding with her took me over.
Knowing we needed to be careful, I glanced down at the speedometer and cringed; we were already fifteen miles over the limit. Not having the ability to push me and my bike against Kenzie and hers was annoying. To Kenzie, it must be stifling, like a leash tethered to her neck. I wanted to go faster, not slower, but I didn’t really have a choice—Keith would have my ass if I got a speeding ticket.
Reluctantly, I reduced my speed. That was when I noticed Kenzie starting to inch past me. Doing everything to keep her from winning was too ingrained in me to keep slowing down, and I gently laid on the throttle, increasing my speed. Just a little, just enough to keep her at bay.
I cast quick glances her way, surprised she was open to racing with me…and even more surprising, I was open to it too. I knew I shouldn’t even entertain the idea…but it had been ages, and I was jonesing. After finally accepting that this was happening, I leaned forward and pressed on the speed. I could easily envision Kenzie smiling under her helmet; I certainly was. Game on.
As I quickly moved around her, my heart accelerated to match my pace. There were so many reasons we shouldn’t be doing this, but I just couldn’t stop myself. Forcing my gaze to stay on the road and not my speedometer, I curved low through dips and corners with Kenzie right on my tail. Memories flooded through me as I raced—the bank of lights holding me back, then releasing me, the various flags used to warn or encourage, the multitude of other riders, giving their all for a win, the concrete barriers creating the manufactured roads, the thrill of competition, the strain, the stress…the satisfaction. I couldn’t wait for the racing season to start, but God…if only Kenzie could start it with me. Things wouldn’t be the same without her.
I ended up beating Kenzie to the turnoff that led to the practice track by mere seconds. Raising my fist into the air, I glanced over my shoulder to where she was close behind me, then I lifted my ass in the air and smacked it. Kenzie shook her head, but I knew she was amused. Joy lightened my heart, giving me a euphoria that was difficult to duplicate. I loved beating Kenzie. I loved competing with Kenzie. I missed racing with her. So much.
Kenzie moved up beside me as we approached the outer gate. Raising my visor, I gave her a triumphant smile. Got you. Lifting her own shield, she rolled her eyes at me. Laughing at me helped distract Kenzie from the sign looming over our heads: Benneti Motorsports Practice Track. It was twice as big as the old sign had been, even though it only had one name on it now. And to make the fact that he owned it even clearer, Keith had enhanced the sign with a tacky tagline that Kenzie truly hated: Where Champions Reside. Even though he hadn’t outright said it, I was pretty sure the slogan was a dig on Kenzie’s dad, since he no longer “resided” there. Kenzie scowled whenever she noticed the sign.
Wanting to hurry past it, I used my key card and code to open the gate, and Kenzie and I rode through together. It had to be odd for Kenzie to no longer have a key card to this place, but she’d told me John had collected hers when she’d picked up her bikes. Jordan Cox had been conspicuously absent that day. And every day since from what I knew.
As we rode through the parking lot, the euphoria from the ride began to dissipate, and something darker replaced it. Glancing over at Kenzie, I saw the same frustrated expression on her face that I was feeling. Or maybe it was trepidation. The last time she’d gone to the track with me, it hadn’t exactly turned out well for her. Or for me really. Damn Keith. Why the hell had he hired Felicia? And was there really a meeting this morning? He hadn’t mentioned anything to me yesterday.
We drove through the open inner gate that led to the training complex, and the first thing that I always noticed when I came here filled my view—the mammoth practice course. Flanked on either side by large buildings that held offices and garage bays, the track was the focal point upon entering the inner sanctum. Kenzie’s helmet shifted to the right side of the course, where dark empty buildings held the ghosts of Cox Racing. Never properly repaired or maintained, the garages were run-down, dilapidated. It had been sad before the business closed, but now it was kind of heartbreaking.
I veered my bike toward the Benneti side of the track, but Kenzie turned her bike toward the Cox side. Coming here was so difficult for so many reasons; I honestly wasn’t sure how she got the strength to ride through the gate. It had to be like returning to the scene of a tragic crime and being reminded of the trauma over and over. It must kill her to come with me. I shouldn’t even ask her to step on the property. Man, I was so selfish.
Feeling horrible, I hesitated just a moment before following her. She stopped fifty feet from the Cox buildings, like she was reluctant to go any farther. The For Sale sign was huge this close to the building, and the cracked windows seemed somehow supernatural, like they were sucking life out of the air, making everything around them dark and dreary. Knowing the building was cold and vacant reminded me of my dream—Kenzie gone, Felicia pulling me away. A shiver went up my spine as I stopped my bike beside hers.
She looked my way, and I sighed. “I’m so sorry, Kenzie. It must suck for you to be here. I shouldn’t ask you to come with me.”
She gave me a wry look that told me I’d just said something she thought was utterly ridiculous. “I wouldn’t come here if I didn’t want to be here, Hayden. And…I don’t know, for some reason, I like coming here. I like seeing this.”
Her gaze returned to the abandoned buildings, and my eyes widened in shock. “How could you possibly like seeing this?” That made no sense to me.
Still scanning her old stomping grounds, she shrugged. “I’m not sure exactly. It’s just…seeing it empty like this…it gives me hope. If it’s empty, then it’s not gone. Not really.” She looked back at me, and there was a fervent passion in her eyes. “I feel like, so long as the buildings stay empty, there’s somehow this microscopic chance that Cox Racing could return. I know it’s probably not going to happen…but if no one takes ownership, then I can pretend we’ll rebuild. I have to carry that hope with me, Hayden. It’s all I have left…” she whispered.
It didn’t help my guilt one tiny little bit to hear her say that. It was like having a carving knife shoved through my chest. Repeatedly.
Her expression was suddenly so void of emotion, I knew a chaotic storm of feelings was swirling within her. Her career, her team, her dad…Felicia. One more thing would break her right now, I was sure, and I desperately didn’t want to be that one more thing. “Maybe I can talk to Keith. Convince him to let me train with you, since that’s how I got my best times last year.”
The look on her face told me she thought I’d have a better chance telling a whale to stop swimming in the ocean. She gave me a smile that almost reached her eyes. “Yeah…sure. Couldn’t hurt anything at this point.”
We turned our bikes around and headed back to the Benneti side. I’d spotted a brief glimmer of hope on Kenzie’s face when she’d lowered her visor, and I prayed Keith went along with my idea; Kenzie desperately wanted to race again, and I’d given her a possible way to do it. If
I couldn’t come through… Fuck, I hated disappointing people I cared about.
Pulling up to the garages, we stopped our bikes before one of the open rolling doors. I removed my helmet and set it on the handlebar, then watched Kenzie do the same. She always fluffed out her ponytail whenever she took off her helmet, and I loved watching the wavy strands slide through her fingers. It was such a simple movement, but somehow, she made it erotic.
Kenzie smiled at me when she was finished, then we walked inside hand in hand. I felt her fingers clench mine, and saw her scan the room out of the corner of my eye. My chest tightened in a painful way when I realized she was looking for Felicia. God, what if Felicia said something to her about the text message this morning. I should have just told Kenzie the truth; this could backfire.
I discretely looked around for her, too, but she was, thankfully, nowhere to be found. And even more thankfully, Nikki wasn’t late for once, and was at her work station, fiddling with my bike.
The cheery Latin American girl gave us a wide smile when she noticed me approaching with her best friend. “Hey Hayden, Kenzie. How’s it going?” she asked, wiping her dirty hands on a towel.
I’d worried in the beginning how the guys here would treat Nikki, but it wasn’t a problem. Nikki was charming and personable, always going above and beyond to get to know the crew and the riders. Plus, she was a mechanic, not a racer, and from all I’d seen, anyone who worked hard to make a Benneti bike better was practically lifted to godhood around here. She was doing just fine at her new job, and she seemed to really enjoy working on my Honda CBR600RR.
Kenzie smiled as she answered her ex-mechanic’s question. “It’s good. How’s it going here?”
Nikki’s dark eyes sparkled with delight. “Excellent.” She shifted her gaze to me. “Just finished sprucing up your bike. She should really fly now.”
I gave her a wide grin. “Awesome! I can’t wait to take her out.” My gaze drifted to Kenzie, and I instantly felt sorry that she couldn’t come out with me. But maybe she could… I’d talk to Keith about it at the meeting. He had to see reason. I needed her.