by Roni Loren
“Need some help?”
She glanced toward the end of the aisle to find an impossibly good-looking golden-haired guy sending her a friendly smile. Jesus, what was it lately with the hot blonds?
“I, uh …”
He cocked his thumb. “Or if you’d prefer, I can get my assistant out of the stock room and she could help you. Get a woman’s opinion.”
“Um, no, that’s fine. I mean, yes, I guess I need help. But no, you don’t need to bother your assistant.” She could handle a ridiculously hot guy talking to her about vibrators. Sure. She was totally cool with this. Not awkward at all. Nope.
“Great.” He sauntered over and stopped a few inches from her to turn and face the rack she’d been staring at.
Suddenly, the words clitoral and G-spot and anal seemed to go neon on the packages, screaming at them in the silence. The tips of Oakley’s ears burned. She could talk dirty at night, but put her in the daylight and her conservative upbringing came back to haunt her.
“So have you narrowed it down any yet? Any features you’re really after?” he asked, relaxed as you please. Like they were discussing which coffeemaker to purchase.
She cleared her throat and peeked his way. His name tag said Jace Austin, Owner. Okay, well if he owned the place, this probably was about as interesting as picking out a coffeemaker. “Nothing too fancy, I guess. I just—there are a lot of choices.”
He pulled one from the display. “This is your most basic bullet vibrator. It can be inserted, but generally, it’s used for external stimulation. This brand has a few different speeds and the most intensity. It’s one of our bestsellers. And I think if this manufacturer stopped making it, my wife would picket the factory.”
Oakley laughed, some of the awkward tension draining out of her at the word wife.
Somewhere behind her, the bell on the door announced someone else had entered the store. Jace glanced up briefly in what was probably an automatic gesture, but returned his attention to her.
“There are also your multitaskers.” He grabbed a box off the top shelf. The picture of the device looked like a C. “This one can be inserted to hit the G-spot and will press against the clitoris simultaneously. It also allows for intercourse while inserted, which can give your partner some fun, too.”
Well, that sounded interesting. But there was no partner involved for her. She shook her head.
“Then there are anal—”
“I think the first one will probably be fine,” she said quickly.
He smiled good-naturedly and grabbed the one she’d selected. “Excellent. And I’d be a bad business owner if I didn’t mention that this one works great in tandem with one of our realistic dildos, which are twenty-five percent off today.”
She laughed at the bizarre conversation. “I feel like I’m in some X-rated infomercial. Buy a vibrator and get a fake penis for only nineteen ninety-nine!”
He chuckled. “Welcome to my life.”
She shook her head, any awkwardness she’d had early on fading now. The guy seemed well-practiced at putting a woman at ease. “Thanks. I’ll go take a look and see if there’s anything else I want.”
“Holler if you need me.”
She turned her back to him to wander over to the next aisle and look at the display of colorful dildos. It’s what Pike had suggested the other night—something more than her fingers. She’d avoided the aisle because she hadn’t wanted to give in to his suggestion. Hadn’t wanted to think about Pike. But now it seemed stupid not to get one while she was here. Plus, they were on sale. If she was going to take care of herself, she might as well do it right.
She heard Jace greet the other customers and then tuned them out, picking up an entirely too big hot pink rubber dong and wagging it in her hand.
She pressed her lips together, stifling a giggle at the wonky swinging motion. You could pound a chicken breast flat with the thing.
No, thank you.
Pike waited until his best friend, Foster, had exchanged a half-hug and slap on the back with their buddy, then he put his hand out to Jace. “How ya doin’, man?”
Jace shook his hand in a firm grasp. “Oh, you know, crazy in the best way possible.”
Pike stepped back. “Yeah, I haven’t seen you around much lately.”
Meaning he hadn’t seen him at The Ranch. Jace was a regular with his wife, Evan, and his husband, Andre—the threesome a fixture at the kink resort they all belonged to. But Pike couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen the three out and about.
Jace crossed his arms, light in his eyes. “Yeah. Fatherhood is keeping me busy. Lucy’s started to crawl and is attempting to disassemble the entire house. But we’ve got Foster and Cela lined up to watch Luce soon so we can get a little grown-up time.”
Pike turned to Foster with a raised brow. “You’re babysitting?”
Foster tucked his hands into his slacks, a smirk on his face. “Unlike you, I don’t have baby-phobia.”
“Since when?” Pike asked.
Foster shrugged, all cool businessman.
“Fuck me, y’all are all going over to the dark side,” Pike said, shaking his head. Jace having kids. His best friend setting up house with his woman, and babysitting. “The Ranch is going to have to open a daycare.”
Jace snorted. “Don’t put it past Grant. If he knocks up Charli, which I’m pretty sure he’s trying to do on a regular basis, I guarantee you, he’ll have five-star nannies on-site.”
Pike sighed dramatically. “I guess that’ll leave all those lonely, single women at The Ranch to me and Gibson. We’re going to have to play relay to keep up.”
The guys laughed, but Pike didn’t really have any excitement at the thought. He had his fun at The Ranch, but he hadn’t hooked up with anyone the last few times he’d gone. He’d watched, but no one had caught his interest. The problem was that he didn’t fit into a neat category like his friends.
Foster and Jace were both sexual dominants. The Ranch catered best to those who fell into those roles—dominant or submissive, masochist or sadist. People wore their labels there with pride. But Pike couldn’t slap one of those stickers on himself. Like most things in his life, he didn’t quite fit in. All his edges were messy, the wires tangled.
Once upon a time, he thought he’d become a dominant. He certainly could enjoy tying a woman up and playing some obedience games. He also didn’t mind dishing out a little pain. There wasn’t much out there hotter than his bright red handprint on a beautiful woman’s ass. But he’d lived with Foster for many years and had shared women with him. He’d seen his best friend when the suit and tie came off and the dominant sadist came out. Dominating a woman was like breathing for Foster—natural and absolute.
Pike had never felt it in his blood like that. He didn’t need the dominance to get off. And frankly, he knew if a woman wanted to turn the tables and tie him to the bed and beat on him for a while, he could have fun with that, too. Shit, he’d done it before.
Bottom line: He liked sex. He liked it rough and tumble without a lot of rules. And he’d try almost anything once. A sexual omnivore.
But that didn’t fly as well at The Ranch because he couldn’t give a true submissive what she’d need long-term and he couldn’t give a dominant that either. So he hung out in purgatory—comfortable with his preferences but vaguely jealous of those who had discovered so clearly what would light them up. He knew for a fact he’d never tapped into that level that Jace and Foster had reached with their partners. He’d watched both of them scene and that shit looked transcendent.
“So what are y’all doing here? Need some supplies?” Jace leaned against the checkout counter.
“We were in the neighborhood for lunch. But Foster wants to buy a violet wand and needs you to swear that you won’t tell Andre.”
Jace sniffed. “Andre can’t throw stones. He’s a big fan of the violet wand.”
“Not for his baby sister,” Foster said. “He still winces anytime she mentions The Ran
ch in front of him. If I give him any more reason to think too hard about what I’m doing with Cela, he’s going to beat me with his nightstick.”
Jace sniffed. “The sadist in me wants to tell him he needs to get over himself. But I promise I won’t say anything and will leave him in his state of semi-denial for now. Come on, they’re over here.”
Jace led Foster to the back corner of the store, and Pike took the chance to browse around. He hadn’t been in Wicked for a while and always liked seeing what new, perverted things Jace stocked. Even with his dirty mind, Pike usually found something that surprised him.
But when he turned the corner of the third aisle, he stopped cold. Because hanging out at the other end was the biggest surprise he’d ever gotten in any store ever. The woman he’d left in a Mickey Mouse T-shirt last night was standing there with one hand on her hip and the other holding a giant rubber cock.
He must’ve made some sound of surprise because she turned his way. The impassive expression on her face shifted in an instant when she recognized him—from shock to horror then to outright red-faced mortification.
Of course, he should probably leave her to it. He should give her privacy. Everyone had a right to buy their sex toys without someone gawking at them. But all he could do was grin and cross his arms over his chest. “Well, hello there.”
She glanced down at the dildo in her hand. He expected her to shove it back on the shelf, but instead she poked out her chin, held on to the thing like she was proud to be wielding it, and straightened her shoulders. “Hi.”
He strolled down the aisle toward her. “Looking for a self-defense weapon?”
She blinked, clearly not as devil-may-care as she was trying to appear. “What?”
He nodded at the pink monster dick and imitated a batting motion. “You could take someone out with one swing. Or intimidate every guy who comes near you.”
He flicked his finger against the head of the toy and it swayed back and forth in a rude, lumbering display.
She pressed her lips together, her cheeks still stained pink, but laughter entered her eyes. “I think this one is a little out of my ballpark, but they’re twenty-five percent off if you want one.”
“Nah, I’d break the bank buying enough lube to manage that one. I’ll stick with the small ones that vibrate.”
Her mouth went a little slack at that, but he figured the best way to fight off her potential embarrassment was with his shamelessness. And by the look on her face it’d worked. A brief flash of heat had lit her eyes. Good. She was probably picturing exactly what he’d do with one of those. Dirty girl. He’d happily demonstrate in person if she wanted a show. Or better yet, try one on her.
“Is that what you’re here for?” she asked in an apparent attempt to sound casual.
“Vibrating butt plugs? No. Not today. My toy box is fully stocked. I was just stopping in to say hi to a friend. The guy who owns the store is—Well, this is going to sound complicated, but he’s married to my best friend’s girlfriend’s brother.”
Oakley’s forehead scrunched like she was doing advanced math in her head. Two point three, carry the one. “Wait, the owner is gay? He said he had a wife.”
“He does. And a husband. They’re a triad, poly, whatever you’d like to label it as. Basically, three people in love and married who have a kid.”
“Wow. That sounds … complex.”
He shrugged. “Not for them. They’re like those ridiculous people in romantic movies—so shit-faced in love you want to vomit a little when you’re around them.”
She laughed and put monster dong back on the shelf. “My brother and his husband are like that. Unbearably happy. Even when they were going through the stressful process of adopting their son two years ago, they stayed so upbeat and supportive of each other. It’s freakish how well-adjusted they are. Jace seemed nice, by the way.”
“You met him?”
“He, uh, helped me earlier.”
Pike lifted a brow and leaned against the shelf. “Yeah? What’d you need help with? I could certainly offer a few opinions. Or we could just ditch the toys, and I could take you into his office to provide you with the real thing. Though, fair warning, I can’t compete with Mr. Pink here. I’m a lot warmer, though, and have better moves.”
Desire flared in her eyes for the briefest of seconds, boiling his blood, but she quickly covered it with a sardonic smile. “Now you’ve moved from flirting to outright propositioning. Not appropriate workplace behavior, Mr. Ryland.”
“You’re not on the clock right now, Miz Easton.”
“Ryland,” Jace called out from the end of the row, Foster at his side. “No hitting on the customers. My store is a safe zone.”
“What if I already know her?”
“Ma’am?” Jace asked, firm tone. “Tell me if you want him to go away, and I will take care of it.”
For a moment, she looked tempted, but she waved him off. “No, thank you. It’s fine. I do know him.”
Jace gave Pike a warning look that said don’t fuck with my customers, and Pike blew him a kiss.
Pike caught Oakley watching Jace and Foster walk away with a little too much appreciation. He shook his head. “They’re both taken, mama. You can stop staring now.”
“Are all your friends that hot? Maybe I was too quick to limit our time together. You should introduce me to more of them.” She said it so completely deadpan that he had no idea if she was fucking with him.
“Yeah? Which one does it for you? Mr. CEO or Mr. Blond Bisexual? I have a lot of friends. It’d be helpful if I could narrow down your type.”
She tapped a finger to her chin and now he knew for sure she was fucking with him. “Well, I do love a man in a suit. And dark hair really does it for me. The clean-cut type is really hot. And no tattoos because, you know, they’re dumb.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Which aisle has the floggers? I’m feeling a little violent all of a sudden.”
She put her hand to his chest and leaned close to him. For a crazed second, he thought she might kiss him, but instead she pressed her lips close to his ear. “The truth is … my type is sitting on that shelf. That’s all I’m looking for right now.”
His heart was beating too fast at having her hand on his chest and the smell of her grapefruit shampoo in his nose. She stepped back and grabbed a different flesh-toned dildo off the shelf. One, ironically, he’d estimate to be about the size of what was currently pushing against his zipper.
He looked down at the package in her hands. “So all you want is the fantasy? Nothing real?”
Her smile was resigned. “Ding. Ding. Ding. Give the pretty boy an A plus.”
The words stung more than they should.
She walked toward him, and her shoulder briefly touched his. “And for the record, your two friends have nothing on you.”
The words moved through him, stoked the fire.
“Oakley—” He spun toward her.
But she was already walking to the register, her faux lover in her hands.
She didn’t look back. And she didn’t say good-bye.
After she’d checked out and left, Foster and Jace found him scowling at the front window.
“Who the hell was that?” Foster asked.
My torment. “No one. Just a mom I’m working with on that charity project.”
Foster’s smile was wry. “Uh-huh. You normally get hard-ons for moms you work with? New fetish?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
But Foster only grinned wider.
Jace leaned against the windowsill, looking just as amused. “A mom, huh? That’s not usually your style.”
“What else did she buy besides the dildo?” he asked, turning fully toward Jace.
He arched a brow. “Customer purchases are confidential.”
The hell they are. Pike didn’t hesitate. He dodged to the left, skirted around Jace, and jogged to the checkout counter. Jace realized a second too late what Pike was doing and couldn’t b
eat him to the register. Pike rolled the receipt paper back.
The dildo and some kind of vibrator.
Jace scowled at him. “You can be a hardheaded asshole sometimes. She didn’t buy anything exciting. Vanilla basics. You’re sniffing around the wrong tree, brother.”
“That doesn’t mean vanilla. It might just mean inexperienced with toys or unexposed to other things. She’s got this buttoned-up thing going during the day, but I know that’s not all there is to her. I can tell. Did you hear that voice? That voice is not PG. And neither is that walk. Did you see how she walks?”
As he was babbling like an idiot, Foster leaned back on his heels, grinning. “Aw, fuck, this is going to be fun.”
“What?” Pike asked.
Foster tilted his head to the side and cupped his ear. “Jace, did you hear the same sound I did?”
“Hmm, I think maybe I did. Did it start with timber?”
“I believe it did.” Foster reached out and slapped Pike’s shoulder. “Hope you enjoy your downfall, brother.”
Pike stared at his friends, then provided them with the backside of his middle fingers. “Fuck the both of you.”
Their idiotic smiles didn’t falter.
Pike stared for a few long moments then yanked his wallet from his pocket and tossed his credit card at Jace. “Here.”
“What’s this for?”
“Open a tab. I’ve got a care package to put together.”
“For a certain mom?” Jace asked, always one to rub it in. “Good choice. Nothing says I really like you a lot like a box o’ kinky filth.”
“That should be your slogan,” Foster chimed in.
Pike turned his back on them. “You’re both fired as friends. Fucking sadist motherfuckers.”