by Roni Loren
When he didn’t back up immediately, she gave him a shove and the bed hit the backs of his knees. He sank down onto the mattress.
She pointed to the headboard. “Lie down.”
His heart was beating wildly now, but he listened anyway. Maggie strode over to her bedside table and pulled out a few things. Before he could form an additional protest, she’d locked his hands to the headboard with cuffs and had wrapped a blindfold around his eyes. His throat felt like it was closing, but his erection had gone solid as steel.
She gave his thigh a vicious pinch. “Knees up and legs spread, sub. Make room for me.”
“Mistress …”
“Shut up, Theodore. Unless it’s your safe word, you don’t get to speak. Remember, you’re the one who is making this harder on yourself.”
His mouth clamped shut. He could call his safe word, but his libido was overruling all veto options right now. This may turn into a disaster but there was no turning back now.
The first touch of Maggie’s lips on the head of his cock nearly made him leap off the bed. But she held him down with firm hands and took him deeper—the hot, wet glide of her tongue enveloping his flesh and every bit of sense he had left. Holy mother of God.
His hands curled in the cuffs and he let his head fall back onto the mattress. Maggie, Mistress M, was giving him head. He could barely process it. Maybe he’d fallen asleep in his car and was dreaming. Behind the blindfold, he let himself imagine how she must look. That sweet pink sweater and that wild hair, those full lips slippery and hot on his skin, that unyielding confidence in her eyes.
So much of him wanted to just let go in that moment, give himself over to the sensation of it all, to Maggie. But he’d trained himself for so long to hold back that he was worried he wouldn’t be able to give up that control. His body wasn’t going to cooperate.
He was almost at the point of telling Maggie that when he felt cool liquid against his anus. He flinched then froze. “Mistress.”
She released him with a pop, and he instantly missed the heat of her mouth around him. “I need you to relax, Theo. Your body is mine tonight. You have to trust me to make it feel good.”
“I—”
Her slick finger pressed against his hole and rubbed. The intense sensation of it sent him groaning. Medically, he was aware there were nerves back there, but goddamn, he hadn’t expected that level of sensitivity. His head tilted back again.
“There you go, gorgeous,” she said, her breath hot against the head of his cock. “I don’t let boys inside me who won’t let me inside them.”
He sucked in a deep breath, trying to relax for her, taking a leap of faith, and was rewarded when she worked her finger past the tight ring of muscle and slipped inside right as her mouth closed over him again.
His back arched and he let out a string of curses. Every nerve in his body seemed to awaken at once, all heading straight to his cock. “God, Maggie.”
She made a satisfied hum, which vibrated over his skin, and then took him deeper, enveloping him fully and gently pumping her finger inside him. Stars blinked in and out in the darkness behind his eyelids. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so damn alive.
He sunk into the feel of it all, forgetting to think about all the stuff that usually plagued him, forgetting to worry, and forgetting that he wasn’t supposed to enjoy himself.
And when she curved her finger, finding his prostate, every worry about not being able to let go was obliterated in one sweet press. Orgasm slammed into him with the force of a tidal wave, dragging him under and sending him flying all at the same time. He cried out, calling Maggie’s name and pumping his hips, losing himself as his release went on and on.
Maggie didn’t back off, swallowing him down and continuing the roller-coaster ride for as long as possible. When he couldn’t take any more, his little sadist gave one more nearly painful suck and then pulled back, leaving him panting and blown to bits on the bed.
“Maggie, mistress …” He didn’t know what he wanted to say but he wanted to say something. His ability for English was impaired at the moment, though.
“Shh,” she said. He could feel her climb off the bed and then the rustle of fabric.
His belly flipped. Was she getting undressed? Fuck this fucking blindfold. “Mistress, please let me see you.”
“Would you rather use of your hands or eyes? You’ve only earned one privilege back.”
He groaned. Look and not touch? Or touch but not see? “You’re evil, mistress.”
“And you love it.”
He chuckled, feeling looser and more relaxed than he had in years. “I do. And if I only get one, I choose hands. I can’t make you feel good with my eyes.”
“The way you look at me makes me feel quite nice, actually.” Her fingers brushed along his wrist. “But good choice.”
She unhooked his hands from the cuffs and told him not to move. He lay still, his arms above his head. But then she circled his wrist and lifted his arm to her. She pressed his open palm against her soft flesh.
A shudder went through him at the feel of her full breast in his hand, and she let out a soft sigh. Her skin was silky soft and so warm. He wanted to bury his face against her, to touch and taste and feel her. He brushed a thumb over her nipple, which promptly rose to the occasion. He wet his lips. “What do you like, mistress? Soft? Rough?”
He realized now he had no idea what she liked in bed. She was a sadist, but did she like a dose of pain herself? Or maybe she liked the sweet-and-gentle approach.
She pressed her hand over his and squeezed, making him tighten his hold on her breast. “I want you to trust your instincts, Theo. I bet you know how to make a woman feel good. You have permission to explore.”
The pronouncement sent a surge of desire and confidence in him. He’d never had sex with a domme, so hadn’t known how far the roles would go. But having a green flag to make Maggie feel good was like winning the lottery. It’d been a long time, but once upon a time, he’d known just how to drive a woman wild in bed.
He let his hand trail down Maggie’s arm and then tugged, pulling her into bed with him. She laughed when she landed with an oof and knocked the air out of him for a moment. He slid his hands up her thigh. “Are you laughing at me, mistress?”
“Of course I am. I enjoy seeing you wince like that.” She straddled his waist, the damp heat of her sex pressing against his abdomen. He bit back the groan of need. She was soaked for him. Even having just come, his cock was already perking up for the party again. But he wouldn’t rush this. He moved his hands over the tops of her thighs and up her waist. When he reached her breasts, he brought the tips to points again, and then guided her down.
At the first sweet taste of her against his tongue, she moaned and shivered in his grip. It was the best damn sound he’d ever heard. He sucked and caressed, mapping her curves and relishing the taste of her—warm and lush and all woman. “You’re so beautiful.”
She gripped his shoulders, trying to keep her balance as he worshipped her breasts. “Says the man with the blindfold.”
He smiled against her skin. “I’ve memorized every part I’ve ever gotten the privilege to see, Maggie. That little freckle on your collarbone, the way your bottom lip juts out when you’re planning something particularly tortuous, how your hair color changes in the light. I know what I’m talking about. You’re an artist, but you’re also art.”
“Theo …”
He heard the ache in her voice and knew he’d probably let too much slip out, but the combination of his orgasm and this beautiful woman beneath his lips made him forget to be careful. He was drunk on her. He put his hand on her waist. “I need to taste more of you, mistress.”
“God, yes.”
In his previous life, he would’ve shifted her beneath him, spread her out, but Maggie pushed back and then scooted herself up his body. His belly went tight with need when the scent of her arousal curled around him. She was above him, knees on each side of his head, a
nd her pussy presented like the best prize he could imagine.
He’d never pleasured a woman this way, but the position and the blindfold only edged his arousal higher, and when she grabbed his hair and adjusted him just how she wanted, he decided he was having some kind of pornographic dream. Maggie riding his mouth and using him for her own pleasure? Yes, let’s order that. A double serving, please.
“Show me what you can do, sub. Do a good job and maybe I’ll take that blindfold off.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, his voice rough with aching desire. He placed his hands on her waist and lowered her to him. When he got his first taste of her and heard her uninhibited moan of pleasure and his name on her lips, all became quiet in his world. The earth stopped spinning. The past and future ceased to exist. It was just him and Maggie and this moment. For the first time in as long as he could remember, the demons loosened their hold with no pain involved.
This woman was all that mattered right now. And he was going to make her fly.
SIX
Maggie had lost all sense of composure by the time Theo slipped his hand between them and pushed two fingers into her while he licked her. She had one hand braced on the headboard and the other gripped in his hair as she tried not to go over too quickly. The stoic doctor was a fucking master with his mouth. Often she had trouble getting off without the help of a vibrator, but goddamn, this man seemed to know exactly what spots to hit and how to bring her to the edge and then back.
And seeing him so into it only ratcheted up her arousal higher. She’d been worried that she’d push too hard and scare him off tonight. His wounds ran deep, and she didn’t want to compete with his wife’s memory. But she’d also seen glimmers of that part of him that wanted to break free of it all. Even when she’d gone down on him, she could sense how locked up he was—like even allowing himself the briefest of pleasure was too much.
She could’ve changed tactics then. She’d known if she had flipped the night to focus on pain, he would’ve gotten lost in that, it would’ve made it easier on both of them. But then they would’ve been back to where they’d started. She didn’t want to ignore his need for pain. She’d loved those sessions with him. But she also wasn’t going to let him use it as a crutch anymore. So she’d done the most sadistic thing of all; she’d forced him to focus on pleasure.
And when she’d felt him go over into release, she’d almost cried out with him. Feeling his body clenching around her fingers, his taste spilling on her tongue, hearing the gritty sounds he was making—all of it had given her the sweetest high. Her body had throbbed for him. The man was sex personified when he let go. But she’d also gotten this warm contentment bleeding through her, this sense of being right where she needed to be.
She wasn’t stupid. She knew this was probably a temporary reprieve while he was still riding the high of his own orgasm, that when cold reality crept in again, he’d probably run. But right now, she was going to enjoy every moment. And maybe, just maybe, this one night could put a chink in that brick wall he kept around him. One tiny shaft of light sneaking through could be a start.
She wished she could be the one to break down the wall completely. She wanted the man with a ferocity that scared her. She didn’t understand it. In a lot of ways, she hardly knew him, but something inside her had latched onto him from day one—this feeling of fate, of destiny. Her flighty, artistic heart had fallen for the guy. Luckily, her brain was much more rational and kept her in check.
She wasn’t going to fool herself into thinking this was any more that a hot night for him. A breakthrough in some ways, sure, but still just sex.
Theo twisted his fingers inside her, putting pressure in just the right spot, and sucked her clit between his teeth. The move sent pleasure rippling outward, and all thoughts in her head shimmered into the sweet nothing of sensation. She rocked her hips against him. “Theo, Theo, God.”
He seemed lost in his own version of pleasure, and murmured a response against her. Suddenly she couldn’t bear to not see his eyes for another second. She reached down and tugged the blindfold off. Theo blinked in the lamplight, his head falling back to the pillow, then his gaze focused on her. She knew she had to be a sight from that angle, but his eyes didn’t move away from her face. Lines appeared around the edges of his eyes, like looking at her hurt him in a good way, and then he pushed his fingers deeper into her, pumping them slowly, and pressed the flat of his thumb against her clit. His lips were swollen and slick from her arousal, which was sexy enough, but the look in his eyes, that I’m-going-to-make-you-come confidence did her in.
She reached down, lacing her hands in his thick hair and cried out as orgasm took over. Theo put his mouth against her again and everything went white in her vision. She held on tight and ground against him, taking every bit of pleasure he was offering and not caring how wanton or desperate she looked.
When she couldn’t bear any more, she rolled off of him and collapsed onto her back. Her chest was heaving, trying to grab air, as aftershocks reverberated through her. Theo rolled onto his side and looked down at her, a satisfied smile playing around the edges of his lips. He traced a finger around her navel. “I guess that was okay.”
She laughed and reached for him, brushing her fingers over his stubble. “There’s my smug doctor.”
He pushed her hair away from her forehead, his gaze tracing the details of her face. “I’ve thought about what you would be like when you came so many times. My imagination wasn’t even close to how sexy that was. You’re so vocal. And loud.”
Heat crawled up her neck. “Oops. Guess it’s good I live in the woods.”
“It was ridiculously hot.” He wrapped a lock of hair around his finger, his attention traveling down her body, making every inch of her skin hyperaware. “I want to hear you do it again, mistress.”
She knew what he was requesting. And the fact that Theo was asking to fuck her was a victory in and of itself. She’d planned for that to happen tonight when they’d started. But now she could sense her own attachment to him growing. Letting him inside her body would only make that worse. She’d only slept with three guys in her life. She played with strangers, but she’d only slept with guys she cared about. When he left afterward, this would hurt.
She swallowed hard. “Am I going to see you again after tonight, Theo?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Would you want to?”
“I would.”
He leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. “Then you will.”
She didn’t know if she believed it. But she believed that he believed it in this moment and that had to be enough. She reached out to her bedside drawer and pulled out a condom. “Kneel next to me.”
He got into position and she rolled the condom on. And though she was almost always on top with a guy, she wanted him to guide the pace this time, wanted to see this beautiful man above her. She grabbed his hand and dragged him on top of her. Heat flared in his eyes when their bodies aligned, her outer lips sliding along his length.
He didn’t rush it, though. Before entering her, he kissed her eyebrows, her nose, and finally her lips. “Thank you, Maggie.”
She forced a casual smile, despite her heart flipping over in her chest. “For what, gorgeous?”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “For being exactly what I never knew I needed.”
Her lips parted, his words knocking the air from her. But he closed the space for words by kissing her again, cutting off any response as he entered her.
Her entire body surged with need as he stretched her. He inched in slowly, making sure not to hurt her until he seated himself fully. She couldn’t tell if the shudder that moved over her originated with her or him. All she knew was that feeling them joined was possibly the most perfect moment she’d ever experienced—this sacred, still space where the physical met all the things that had built quietly between them over the last year. He seemed to recognize it as something special, too, because he paused for a long moment, just
looking down at her with this heartbreakingly sincere look on his face.
And she knew in that moment that he wasn’t thinking of his wife or his past or the tragedy at the hospital tonight. That look was singular and just for her. She thought she may dissolve under the weight of that look, but then he closed his eyes and began to move. He made love to her in long, unhurried strokes, a man who was going to savor. And just when she thought it couldn’t get any better, he grabbed her behind her knee to open her up and get as deep as possible. She got lost in the feel of it. His strong body against hers, his skilled hands, and his tongue stroking over hers when he bent down to kiss her. She wanted to fall into it and never come up for air. She wanted to cry. She wanted to keep him.
And when he brought her to orgasm a long time later, he whispered her name against her ear, his tone full of ache and heat, and came along with her. Joined for one perfect night. The doctor no one could touch and the mistress who never let anyone in.
And in those few moments, Maggie allowed herself to hope that this wasn’t the end but just the beginning. She fell asleep next to him, holding on to that impossible hope.
And when Theo climbed out of the bed later that night, she never heard a sound.
SEVEN
Theo looked out at the still-falling sleet, the pattering sound one he probably would always associate with this night, and let the tears track silently down his face. His chest hurt, his eyes burned, but the pain felt good. Cleansing.
Sometimes in medicine, you couldn’t remove a tumor because doing so would damage something else vital for life. All these years, he’d felt that way about the accident. The guilt, the anguish, the grief had been his tumor, but he’d felt like if he let that go, if he cut it away, there would be nothing left that would survive. It was what held his pieces together.
But tonight Maggie had taken a scalpel to him, carefully carving away the mass and giving him a glimpse of life in the aftermath. A life where despite the sadness in his past, he could still laugh and feel pleasure without it always having to be paired with pain, and where he could make someone else smile. He’d always love Lori and would always miss her. But maybe that didn’t have to mean a life sentence of being alone.