Page 54

by Red Phoenix

Brie met his gaze, although she was tempted to look away. She licked her lips nervously when she asked, “Did he share what his father said?”

“No.”

“Master Nosaka told Tono that he regretted his influence during the Collaring Ceremony. He asked Tono to forgive him because he was wrong.”

Sir took a deep intake of breath. “What a difficult confession for Nosaka to hear. No wonder he is reeling from it.”

“You should also know that Tono apologized right after the kiss. He knew it was inappropriate, but I was so shocked by it that I just ran. My only thought was to come back to you and explain what had happened. I didn’t want you to be angry with me—or with him.”

“Brie,” Sir said reassuringly, “there was no reason to worry. Nosaka is not Mr. Wallace.” He played with a stray curl, smiling down at her. “Although we’ve been down this road before, you are not the same woman I first collared. You have learned much since then, and the truth is…I’ve grown as well.”

She smiled as she laid her head against his chest. “I never want you to doubt my love, Sir. Never.”

He answered her heartfelt declaration with a question. “I want an honest answer, Brie. Take time to think about it if you need to before you speak.”

She hugged him tighter. “Yes, Sir.”

“How does this new admission make you feel towards Nosaka?”

She looked up at him shyly. “At first I was thrilled to know Tono’s father had changed his opinion of me. His rejection hurt me deeply.” She let out a long sigh. “But then I realized that if he had approved of me that night, I wouldn’t be here with you now.”

“And that makes you feel how?” Sir pressed.

Brie told him the simple truth. “The moment you put this collar around my neck,” she lightly touched the silver collar, “my fate was sealed. I want no other, even though I still love Tono Nosaka.”

Sir leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. “Good.”

She smiled, crushing herself against his hard frame. He briefly returned her hug, but pulled away, stating, “Ren has lost his father today, and has compounded his suffering by embarrassing himself with us. I can’t imagine his state of mind right now. Even though it will not be easy for him, I think it’s best that we meet. In my eyes, what he’s done is understandable, even though it broke protocol. I have no problem overlooking the incident, because he is not someone who will allow that to happen again.”

Brie let out a sigh of relief. “I love being collared to such an exceptional man.”

Sir chuckled lightly. “You make me nervous with the height of the pedestal you have me on, Brie.”

She shook her head. “No, Sir, I have you set squarely on the ground. I realize you’re human, but you are an incredible specimen of humanity—in many ways.” She ran her hands over his chest and breathed in his masculine scent. “And I adore your modesty.”

He lifted her chin, tsking. “Do not mock your Master, sub.”

She grinned. “Never, Master.”

He kissed her nose, stating, “Let’s put Nosaka out of his misery.”

The meeting with Tono at his mother’s home was uncomfortable to begin with. It was obvious from his swollen eyes that Tono had been grieving, but one would never know it based on the serene expression on his face.

Sir held out his hand. “Ren, I want to express again our deepest sympathies for your loss.”

Tono nodded stiffly as he shook it. “It was expected.”

Sir put his other hand over Tono’s and shook with more conviction. “Expected or not, it’s still just as significant.”

Tono grunted. “True. Knowing his death was imminent has not lessened the loss.” He added sadly, “I’d hoped it would.”

Brie noticed he was purposely avoiding looking in her direction.

Sir noticed it too. “Rather than dance around the elephant in the room, let me just say that I understand why you broke protocol. There is no reason for any tension between us.”

“It was inexcusable,” Tono replied, glancing briefly at Brie.

“No, Ren. It was unfortunate, but not inexcusable.”

Tono turned to Brie, bowing before her formally. “I’m truly sorry, Miss Bennett.”

“Such formality is unnecessary between friends,” Sir said, patting Tono’s back.

“Fine.” Tono looked at her self-consciously and added, “I am sorry, Brie.”

She smiled. “I accept your apology with a full heart, Tono Nosaka.”

His mother interrupted their conversation, and refused to leave until Tono excused himself to attend to her. Despite her husband’s death, the woman seemed untouched, keeping the same tough exterior as before. However, Brie believed that under that shield of indifference, she must be secretly weeping. Mrs. Nosaka was alone now, and she still had plenty of years ahead.

When Tono returned, he told them, “I have many arrangements to make and must ask you to leave, but I have a favor to ask. Would you join me tonight? There will be a private wake. Before you agree, I must warn you that it will be an all-night affair.”

“We would be honored,” Sir answered.

“It will be a private ceremony. Later, my family will have an event for his many followers, but tonight my mother and I covet our privacy. Although she is uncomfortable with you being invited, she understands it is important to me and welcomes you to join us.”

Brie bowed to him. “Thank you for including us, Tono. Please thank your mother as well.”

“I’m grateful to have you with me.” He looked at Sir and added, “Both of you.”

Sir and Brie spent the day getting themselves prepared for the wake. First, Sir purchased the appropriate clothing, stating that black was the only acceptable attire. He purchased a suit of black, from his jacket and tie to his socks, as well as Brie’s modest dress, simple hose and shoes.

Sir explained as he paid for them, “In a sense, we are acting as part of Tono’s family. It is important that we fit in as seamlessly as possible.”

“Agreed, Sir.”

Next he took her to a tiny shop, and purchased a small white envelope with black-and-white ribbon as well as a box of colored pencils. She was curious and asked about the purchases, but Sir told her he would explain later.

When they arrived back at the hotel, he got the ice bucket and set it on the coffee table. Picking up a set of chopsticks, he commanded, “I want to you to practice picking up the pencils and putting them in the container.”

She found the task odd, but carefully laid the set of pencils on the table and tried to pick them up with the chopsticks. It wasn’t easy, and she dropped many of them in the process, but eventually she transferred all of them safely into the bucket.

He shook his head and stated, “Again.”

She looked up at him, chagrined, but dutifully started the process again with only slightly better success.

“Brie, this is important. You must pick up each pencil and gently place it in the container. You cannot drop any of them. Continue with your practice until you are able to do so flawlessly, then summon me so that I may observe it.”

He disappeared into the bedroom to use his laptop, leaving Brie to her odd assignment. She knew that this exercise had some bigger meaning, because Sir did not indulge in silly games. Everything he did had a purpose; everything he asked of her was important and must be mastered.

Sadly, it took hours before she was able to consistently get the pencils from the table to the bucket without mishap. She was bursting with pride when she finally went to him and announced, “I’m ready, Sir.”

He looked up from his work and smiled. “Good. Impress me, babygirl.” He followed her out to the sitting room and watched with interest as she carefully picked up each pencil and deposited it in the container with care.

“Well done. Were the occasion less melancholy, I would reward you with a session. But given the circumstances, my words of praise must suffice, my dear.”

She sm
iled shyly. “Your praise is always cherished, Sir. May I ask the reason for the task?”

“It will become evident should the need arise. I’m unsure how much we will be involved in the wake and funeral, but it is better to be fully prepared than woefully lacking.” He looked at his watch. “It’s time to dress. Put your hair up in a modest style, and only use minimal makeup.”

They returned to the bedroom together in silence, the mood between them somber as they dressed for the wake. Brie wondered what it would be like and desperately hoped she could be a true comfort to Tono, rather than an unwanted distraction.

A Touching Farewell

They arrived at the Nosaka home just as the sun was setting. Before Brie exited the car, Sir handed her the white envelope, which he’d wrapped in black-and-white ribbon.

“What is this, Sir?”

“It’s our koden, our condolence money. It’s tradition at a wake. A tricky business, too, because giving too much signifies a closer relationship than you have with the deceased, but giving too little is seen as an insult.”

“How did you know how much to give, Sir?”

He gave her a playful wink. “I googled it.”

They stood behind a group of Tono’s family members as they waited for the door to be answered. No one acknowledged them, making Brie extremely grateful when Tono was the one who opened the door. He greeted each person individually before inviting them inside. His calm demeanor and gentle voice belied the fact that his heart was breaking.

Tono’s smile was genuine when he saw Brie, but he addressed his greeting to Sir. “Thank you both for joining me tonight.”

“We owe you no less, Ren. It’s a privilege to be included among your close relatives.”

Tono led them to the room that held his father. The body had been packed in dry ice, and a white cloth covered his face. People were already seated on the floor, facing the body. Sir directed Brie to sit at the back, but Tono asked them to join him at the front. Brie knew it must be an unusual request, and was not surprised to hear a protest from his mother.

Tono answered his mother by pointing to Sir and stating simply, “Ani” and then gesturing to Brie and saying, “Imouto”. His mother grunted under her breath, but nodded and put her hands together, bowing to them from where she sat.

“I told her you are like a brother and sister to me,” Tono explained.

Brie smiled, and returned his mother’s bow before sitting down beside Tono. Being so close to him, she was able to sync her breath to his, and the peace of that connection floated between them.

A Buddhist priest began chanting, and the smell of burning incense filled the room. Many of those in attendance were fingering prayer beads as he spoke. Eventually, the priest gave a signal and the family members closest to the body began to get up, one at a time, offering incense at an altar beside his father’s body. When Tono’s turn came, he stood up and nodded to Brie, indicating that he wanted her to do the same. Brie watched carefully as he knelt beside the altar, took a pinch of incense and brought it to his forehead before sprinkling it into the flaming bowl. He did this three times and bowed again before sitting back down beside her.

Brie got up and went to the altar, terrified of doing something wrong and offending his extended family in some way. She swallowed down that fear as she knelt gracefully and stared at the picture of Master Nosaka on the altar. While she remembered vividly how cold and hurtful those eyes could be, in this picture he was smiling slightly and his eyes shone with pride.

She took a pinch of the incense and sent a silent message to the man. Thank you for raising Tono to be such an honorable person. She sprinkled the incense into the flame and took another pinch. Thank you for teaching him your skill of Kinbaku. She let the incense burn and took a final pinch. And thank you for finding me worthy of your son. Tears pricked her eyes as she sprinkled the incense into the fire and watched it smoke. She stared at the still body beside her and said with silent conviction, Although we cannot be together, I promise I will do everything in my power to support your son now and in the future.

As she bowed one last time, Brie whispered, “Thank you for sharing your talent of singing, too. It is a charming side of you both I never suspected.”

When she returned to Tono’s side, Sir got up. She watched as he paid his respects. This quiet, reverent ceremony was beautiful in its simplicity. It allowed those who had known the deceased to reflect on memories of him in the safety and warmth of the place he’d called home.

When everyone had offered incense, the priest finished with more chanting. The ceremony ended once he was done, and most of the people in the room left at that time. Brie watched as Tono handed each person a small box before they walked out the door.

She whispered to Sir, “What’s he doing?”

“He is giving a thank you gift to them.”

An older woman touched Sir’s sleeve and gestured that they should follow her. Sir guided Brie down the hallway and into a dining room with a low-lying table laden with food.

Just like in the States, food played a central part when people passed away. Those already seated at the table spoke in quiet tones as they waited for Tono to arrive. Brie discreetly took hold of Sir’s hand under the table and squeezed it.

As soon as Tono entered, the level of conversation became livelier. Plates were passed out and people used chopsticks to help themselves to the feast. Brie looked dubiously at the food, realizing that most of what was on the table was seafood—something Brie could not stomach. How could she possibly navigate the meal without offending anyone?

Tono noticed her hesitation and offered several suggestions about what she would find appetizing. He winked, telling her, “As long as you do not put it on your plate, you are not expected to eat it.”

She took a rice ball and a little of each food he’d suggested, and settled back to eat it, grateful for Sir’s insistence that she practice her chopstick skills at the hotel. It allowed her to observe those at the table now without worrying about embarrassing herself.

Brie found it easy to pick out Master Nosaka’s siblings. They all had similar features and the same stoic expression. Despite their serious demeanor, the discussions were animated and several times the entire table broke out in laughter. She desperately wished she knew Japanese so she could savor the stories they were sharing.

She glanced in Mrs. Nosaka’s direction. The woman had a cross look on her face, but Brie noticed she was staring off into the distance, as if lost in old memories. If she would have welcomed it, Brie would have given her a hug.

Instead, Brie turned to Tono and asked, “How are you doing tonight?”

He gave a tired sigh. “Still in shock, unable to accept that he’s really gone.”

He looked thoroughly exhausted and emotionally beaten. “You should get some rest after the meal,” she suggested.

Tono snorted, sounding insulted when he replied, “No, tonight we stay up and watch over my father.”

Sir replied smoothly, “Of course, Nosaka. Brie was just expressing her concern for you.”

Tono nodded in understanding and explained to her, “This is my last night with my father. I gladly give up rest.”

After dinner, they went back into the room with his father. One woman was already there, standing beside the body, talking softly. The three of them sat down quietly, so as not to disturb her, with Brie and Sir sitting on either side of Tono.

The sound of the woman’s voice was light, as if she was recalling happy memories, but near the end her voice became raw and anguished. Brie couldn’t bear her pain and looked down as a tear fell into her lap. She glanced sideways at Tono.

He sat with a rigid back, his eyes focused on his father. Multiple people came to talk with Master Nosaka throughout the night, as if he were still alive, and Brie found it touching. However, Tono never moved; his gaze never wavered.

As dawn approached, the price of his vigilance made itself known when he tried to shake off the exhaustio
n. Brie got up and whispered to Sir, asking permission before she slipped her hand into Tono’s, willing her energy to flow from her into him.

Tono closed his eyes, not outwardly acknowledging the contact, but he held on to her hand tightly. They remained that way until hours later, when his mother beckoned to him to speak with her outside the room.

His movements were stiff as he got up to leave. Tono returned a short time later with a small box in his hand. “Thank you for your company, Sir Davis, Miss Bennett. Please return to your hotel room and rest if you can. We’ll meet again at noon. There are things I must take care of before the funeral.” He handed Sir a card with directions and gave Brie the gift.

“Can I help in any way?” Sir asked.

“No. This is my honor and duty. Please rest.” He bowed to them before leaving the room.

Brie was surprised when they arrived hours later and saw the funeral home swarmed by journalists. “Poor Tono! Why can’t they leave his family alone?”

Sir said with a frustrated sigh, “It’s unfortunate, but the intrusion must be endured.” He opened the car door and held out his hand. “Come, Brie.” They ignored the cameras and flurry of questions in English, as they sought to find Tono inside.

To Brie’s relief, they found him with his father, whose body had been placed in a casket. She was surprised to see young children in the room. The smell of incense filled the air as the priest spoke and people paid their final respects, leaving flowers in the casket.

Afterwards, the casket was sealed and rolled away with silent reverence. “What’s going on, Sir?” Brie whispered as people began filing out of the room.