by Lisa De Jong
He cracked a menacing smile. “That’s right.” He increased the pressure of his hold, but he had enough of my weight pinned against the wall that he didn’t completely obstruct the flow of air.
It was a warning.
“I was beginning to think maybe you’d forgotten who you belong to.” This time when he squeezed, he stole my breath. “Don’t fuck with me, Melanie.”
“Oh my God.” My mother’s gasp echoed over the tile floor of the kitchen, leaving me feeling both relieved and ashamed at having her find me like this.
Reflexively, Nicholas glanced over his shoulder at Mom, releasing his hold. I crumbled and landed hard against the floor. He turned to her, his voice hard and without remorse. “I was just reminding your daughter of her place.”
He leaned down close to my face, his breath making me sick as I gasped for air. “Until death do us part.” His voice lowered as he came in even closer, his mouth pressed into my cheek. “Don’t forget it.”
I struggled, finding enough strength to whisper the thing I wanted to say most. “I hate you.” It was hardly a defense, but I couldn’t go another second without him knowing exactly how I felt about him.
“Oh, I know...” he sneered, his mouth twitching up as if he experienced some sort of morbid pleasure in my misery.
He stood and strode from the room. He brushed past Mom as if she wasn’t there, leaving me in a pile on the floor trying to piece myself back together.
My hands fisted as angry tears flowed down my face. How had I allowed it to come to this? Allowed him this control? I was worse off now than I had been when I’d started. The worst part was that Mom stood just ten feet away, her face pale, trembling, frozen in fear.
I felt the break, the way her mind snapped into action, and she rushed to me. “Melanie...”
I tried to pull myself from the floor, but it was harder to do than I had anticipated. My feet wobbled beneath me, and I had to reach out to steady myself on the wall. I was having a hard time making my limbs function.
Mom reached to help me, her face stricken. “Melanie,” she said again, “Are...”
I put my hand out to stop her, feeling horrible for doing so, but I couldn’t handle talking about this with her yet. I had to figure out what I was going to do. I had been thrown back to square one, and I had no idea where to go from here.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The door silently clicked behind me, and I fell onto the unmade bed and buried my face in the pillows in an attempt to drown out my cries.
I snaked my arm under my chest and up to the fiery skin, bruised at Nicholas’s hand, a concrete warning that his threats were more than just idle. I’d never felt so helpless.
I tried to ignore the light tapping against the door, but then Mom called softly, “Melanie? Sweetheart? I’m so sorry.”
I took in a breath, tried to hide my tears and the hoarseness of my voice. “Not tonight, Mom. Please. I’m okay, I just need some time.” She was probably blaming herself for what had happened, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her yet.
She patted the door, a soft, soothing sound that promised she was there if I needed her, followed by the sound of her retreating footsteps.
I fell into a restless sleep filled with nightmares, ones where I searched but could never find, where he called and I could never answer—where I would never be free to live my life with Daniel.
****
The sky was still dark when I awoke, the house silent except for the distinct sound of the shower running upstairs.
I swallowed, bringing my fingers up to touch the sensitive skin at my neck, and I fought against the angry tears that pricked at my eyes.
I hated him so much.
The shower shut off, and Nicholas’s footsteps moved heavily on the floor in the room above. Soon, the sound traveled down the stairs. I waited, tense. After what seemed like hours, the garage door opened and closed, and silence fell over the house once again.
I released the terrified breath I’d been holding.
Standing, I stretched my sore muscles and tiptoed across the floor to open the door a crack and peeked into the living room. Mom slept on the couch, hugging the blue blanket from her room to her chest.
A wistful smile played at my lips as I realized she’d slept there to protect me.
I closed the door, unwilling to interrupt her sleep, and crawled back into bed, knowing I’d never get any more sleep.
About an hour later, I heard rattling in the kitchen. I shuffled into the kitchen, embarrassed and unable to make eye contact with Mom when I entered.
I had no idea what to say to her or how to explain how I’d ended up like this.
She filled two green coffee mugs as I took a seat on a barstool at the island, and she slid the mug to me across the smooth surface of the countertop. I mumbled a quiet, “Thank you,” as I rubbed my eye with the back of my hand, trying to clear my head. Lifting the mug, I inhaled deeply and brought the cup to my lips.
Neither of us wanted to have this conversation, especially after last night, but we were out of time. I just had no idea where to start.
Apparently, Mom did.
“Daniel?” she asked, her voice soft.
A little choking sound escaped my mouth, my eyes wide as I jerked my head up. She waited patiently while she stared at me. Finally, I nodded, my voice cracking when I spoke. “I love him, Mom.”
“I know, sweetheart.” She sat on the stool across from me, watching me sip my coffee. Her expression was understanding and without judgment.
“Will you tell me?” she asked.
I hesitated only for a second before I nodded. “Yeah. I need you to know.”
Without interruption, she listened while I told her of the fateful evening that had brought Daniel and I face-to-face and everything we’d learned since. Her eyes grew wider and I could see her guilt grow with each account. She seemed to stop breathing altogether when I got to the part where Daniel had gone to Texas.
“I’m so sorry, Melanie. I can’t tell you how badly I wanted to let you know that he came, how many times I picked up the phone to call. I just couldn’t. It seemed that every time I tried to intervene in your life, I just messed things up more.”
“Like forcing me to go home with you?” I tried to remain impassive, but there was a bite to my words. It still made me so angry.
She sighed and nodded, looking out the window at the still morning before looking back at me. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“But you did.”
This was getting hard. No wonder we’d so carefully avoided it the whole week.
“I know I did, and I take responsibility for it. But please believe me when I tell you it was never my intention.”
“Mom, you were going to have him arrested! How did you think that wouldn’t hurt me? You treated the one person who loved me more than anyone else like a criminal. And why? Because he was ten-months older than me? What you did was...was cruel. At one point I would have said unforgivable.”
She blanched, and I knew it hurt her to hear it, but she needed to understand what she had done.
“Melanie...” She looked down as if in shame. “Part of me really did believe that the two of you needed some time apart, but I’d never planned on keeping you from Daniel forever. Your father...”
Anger flashed hot across my skin with the mention of my dad.
“He was so angry with Daniel. When I first got to the hospital, he was obviously furious about the whole situation and hurt at being deceived, but not any more than I was. Then when Eva passed...” She paused as if saying her name hurt. I’m sure the expression on my face reflected the way she felt. “He just snapped,” she went on. “He blamed Daniel for...everything...you...the accident...Eva’s death. He was set on making Daniel pay, and he figured the best way to do that would be to take you away from him. I tried to make him understand that it would punish you just as much as it would Daniel, but he wouldn’t listen. I’d just thought it would be best
to take you home with me and let things cool off. It didn’t mean that decision didn’t come with a ton of guilt, but I figured everything would work out the way it was supposed to in the end.”
She chuckled humorlessly, shaking her head. “That was where my plan fell to pieces. I couldn’t believe that Daniel hadn’t called you in all of those months. It ripped my heart out to hear you crying in your room and there was nothing I could do. When you were set on going back, I knew you were getting ready to get your heart broken all over again...that Daniel had betrayed you in some way.”
She glanced away, before turning her attention back to me. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Then you showed up at my door with Nicholas...it made me sick to see you with him. I knew you were running from whatever you’d found in Colorado. But by then, I’d realized part of that was my fault, and I made the decision right then that I was done interfering in your life.” She looked away, her mouth trembling. “That was the worst decision I’ve ever made.”
“Why now, Mom? Why did you wait so long to tell me this?”
A tear broke free and slid down her face. “Because I hated myself, Melanie. Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your daughter fade away and know it’s your fault? I stayed away because I couldn’t stand to see what I’d done. I went through so many years of depression, carried so much guilt, especially for never telling you Daniel had come to Texas. When he’d first shown up, I figured he was just there to beg you back after he’d had enough of whatever girl he’d hooked up with while you were away. But inside...I knew...I saw the same thing in his face that I saw in yours. It haunted me, and the longer I hid from it, the stronger it grew.”
She dabbed at her eye with a tissue, sucked in a shuddering breath, attempted to smile. “Mark convinced me to get help about a year and a half ago. I went on medication that helped me to think clearer, but it was the counseling that made the difference. The day I called, I’d just been to see my therapist. She finally made me see that I had to tell you.”
Resting my elbows on the top of the island, I buried my head in my hands, trying to deal with everything she’d said. I looked up, meeting her bleary eyes. “You should have told me,” I whispered.
“I know that now, and that’s why I’m here. I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t. All I can do now is ask for forgiveness.”
I put my hand over my mouth and tried to block the sob that built up in my throat. They’d stolen so many years, Stephanie, my dad, my mom. But when I looked at my mother now, I couldn’t find the anger that part of me recognized should be there. “I just wish we hadn’t lost so much time.”
She pressed her fingers against her mouth, a harsh sound of relief escaping through them as the tears she’d been holding back began to fall. “Oh...Melanie.” She wiped at her face with the tissue.
Inhaling, she straightened and inclined her head to capture my eyes. “I’m done with turning my cheek, Melanie...I’m not going to stand aside and watch you live like this.” She glanced around. “You have to get out of this house.”
“I know, Mom.” Somehow I had to get out of here. I just couldn’t hide the fear of actually doing it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I was done.
Her concern was clearly for me, but my safety was the least of my concerns.
I released the blind, allowing it to fall back into place, cutting off the stream of natural sunlight from my office once he had driven away. It was the third time I’d seen him, twice in front of my office and once outside my apartment building the day I moved to the new house. He was just sitting, watching, waiting. He wasn’t even trying to hide himself. It seemed that just as Melanie had been trying to send him a message, he was sending me one in return.
After what had happened on Thanksgiving, everything had changed. I’d only seen Melanie four times in the past three weeks, only in those rare moments when we were certain Nicholas was busy, relying on Shane to let us know when it was safe to steal away for a little bit of time.
Melanie insisted that she continue to stay in his house. As hard as she tried to convince me otherwise, I knew it wasn’t about the plan anymore. She was scared.
I’d promised to give her the time she needed, but not if giving her that time put her in danger. The whole thing had backfired, and I wasn’t about to stand by while she was forced back into that hopeless life.
Never in a million years would I have thought Peggy would become my ally through all of this. I’d not even known what to say when she’d called and explained everything to me, apologizing for what she’d done. Melanie had freely forgiven her, as if I would ever expect anything less from her. I wanted to have the capacity to do the same, but I still couldn’t get over how Peggy had let it go on for so many years. She knew we still loved each other and had seen what Melanie had become and she’d never done a thing.
Her intentions had never been cruel, though, and it seemed she wanted Melanie out of that house almost as much as I did. In fact, she had flat out begged me to get Melanie out of there. As hard as it had been to do, I pushed back the resentment I had for her and asked for her help.
I knew that as long as Melanie faced Nicholas’s scrutiny on a daily basis, she would never be able to see how effective he had been at keeping her just where he wanted her. I needed Melanie to step back and see that if she stayed on this path, she would never be free and nothing would ever change. Nicholas still had the control, and he always would until she finally walked away. I was going to take her away and make sure she never went back.
I looked over the tickets that arrived this morning, one for her and one for me. These two tickets would allow us almost two weeks of sanctuary. I would spend that time getting Melanie to accept why I could never allow her to go near Nicholas again.
Another ticket had been delivered to Nicholas’s house. Peggy had called him directly and told him she’d purchased a ticket for Melanie to come to their house for Christmas, convincing him Melanie would be spending time between Christmas and New Year’s with them. She insisted Melanie had to be there because Melanie’s little sister, Sarah, would be home from college. I didn’t believe Nicholas would care anything about that, but he’d surprisingly relented. Maybe he liked the idea of her being farther away from me.
When my phone vibrated against my desk, I emitted a heavy sigh of relief. I hated our new routine—waiting for Melanie to call me so there would be no chance that my calls would occur while Nicholas was around.
My heart sped up just in anticipation of hearing her voice. “Hey, baby.”
“Hi.” I could feel her smile, could picture her curled up on her bed as she squeezed the phone to her ear. “Is it Wednesday yet?”
I chuckled, warmed at her eagerness, never agreeing with a sentiment more. December twenty-third could not come fast enough.
“Two days, baby, and then you’re all mine. Are you all set?”
“Um, I think so. Do I need to pack anything special?”
“Just pack warm, okay?”
“Hmm, I need to dress warm, huh? I guess Hawaii’s out, then? Should I even try to guess where we’re going?”
“Nope.”
She giggled, sighing through the phone. “I can’t wait. I miss you.” Her voice softened, colored with a hint of sadness.
I knew she hated what she was putting herself through. She just felt trapped. I wanted to tell her it was all about to end, but I didn’t want her to know my intentions until she was safely with me. “I miss you so much, baby. It’s only two days away.”
“I know...but these next two days are going to be very long.”
We both fell silent, wishing we could somehow erase the distance.
“I love you, Daniel.”
“I love you more than anything. Now go pack some sweaters. You know, it’s supposed to be freezing in Dallas this Christmas.”
She laughed. “Right.”
“I’ll see you at eight on Wednesday, okay?”
“Okay. Love
you.” She was obviously as reluctant as I was to hang up the phone.
“Love you. Bye, Mel.”
“Bye.”
I sighed and set my phone down, running my hands through my hair as I sank back into my chair. I would have lost it before now if I hadn’t already have known how close we were to the end of this mess. My phone vibrated again and Vanessa’s number flashed across the screen again. I dutifully rejected her call. Apparently, I couldn’t be clear enough for that stupid bitch. I’d thought that after she had seen me with Melanie, she’d accept that she had no chance with me and she would be deterred. I had even become hopeful when she hadn’t called for most of November. Somewhere around Thanksgiving, she’d decided to give it another go. It seemed that the closer she got to her due date, the more needy she became. With just five weeks left, I was sure it was only going to get worse.
I choked on a sip of coffee, realizing just how close that actually was. In five weeks, I would be a father.
****
Damn it.
I was late. I didn’t anticipate having to stop by the office this morning, but I couldn’t leave without everything being in place for the new partners who started after the first of the year. Dad had already picked up so much slack for me, allowing me what little time I had with Melanie during the day, so there was no way I could leave him hanging two days before Christmas.
I whipped into the first spot I could find in long-term parking, grabbed my suitcase from the trunk, and practically ran across the lot to catch the shuttle. My knee bounced in anticipation as the bus made slow progress along its course. As soon as it stopped, I rushed off. The double doors slid open as I raced toward them. My eyes swept the terminal, hoping I’d made it there before she had.
Melanie was to leave her car in a long-term parking lot, go to the decoy terminal, and then she would ride the tram around to meet me at the check in counter.
It was impossible to miss the most beautiful girl who ever lived. Her mass of curly brown hair bounced around the collar of her black, knee-length coat, the belt tied firmly around her waist. She stepped carefully from the transit in her black boots, pulling a huge suitcase behind her, looking a little flustered and lost—until she felt me.