by Lisa De Jong
Not able to resist, I put the knife I was holding down on the cutting board. I leaned up, wrapped my arms around him, and pulled his face down to kiss the side of his cheek. Turning to fully face me, he pressed his forehead against mine with his eyes closed, and kissed the tip of my nose. I giggled and he smiled. We were okay for now. But I couldn’t let him go the entire night thinking we weren’t. It wasn’t fair to him. When we turned back to our chopping, I looked up; his mom was staring at us the entire time with a huge smile. Smirking at her, we continued to go down the list of the family.
After cooking all day, the table was set, and the food and dessert were done. Thank God I didn’t decide to choose cooking as a profession because it was too exhausting. We had enough food to feed fifteen households and then some. With an hour to spare, I decided to shower and get dressed for the dinner. Marcus was occupying his mother and niece in the kitchen, so I knew I could have some time to myself.
Managing to quickly shower and dress, I took my time on my hair and makeup: nothing extravagant, just a simple blush, mascara and lip gloss. I wore dark blue skinny jeans, white flats, and a fitted white t-shirt. Once I was finished, I made my way back down the stairs. The moment I entered the living room, I noticed the entire house was full. Looking around nervously for Marcus, I slowly passed an overweight man. He jumped as I brushed past him.
“Whoa! If you wanna’ feel me up just say so, cupcakes,” the short fat man said while smiling.
“Oh, um, I’m sorry; I wasn’t trying to feel you up. I was just, uh.” Nervously I chuckled. After a second glance, I was able to place a name with a face. “You’re Marty?” I asked.
His smile grew wider. “The one and only sweetie, and you are the new love of my life?”
“No, she’s the one and only love of my life.” Marcus cut in, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
“Huh, would you look at this guy!” Marty yelled over his shoulder while pointing at Marcus then placed his hand against Marcus’ shoulder. With his free one, he shook hands with Marcus. “You’re a lucky man here, Marky!” Then Marty’s expression grew serious, and he leaned into Marcus’ ear. “Hey, have you heard about the rats Louie has? There are rumors that FBI agents have been snooping all around the warehouses,” he whispered.
Marcus shook his head. “No, Uncle Marty, we’ll talk more later in private.”
Marty nodded his head, and Marcus led me to other family members, leaving me with more questions to ask later. After being introduced four times, I began to ease a little. His entire family has the same sense of humor and animated characteristics as his mother. They made me laugh with all the jokes they had and stories they told of Marcus’ childhood.
Marcus joined in with the teasing of others. He was so loose and himself around his family. I’d love seeing him like this: around them he was worry and stress free. He was like this with me until he’d get a phone call from “him” for another job. Then his entire demeanor changed.
After dinner, everyone talked and joked over dessert and wine. The kids played in the backyard, chasing each other around. I sat back and watched all of them. I never had a big family, not even on Thanksgiving. It was no particular holiday, and yet this family was together just because. I couldn’t be more in love with them. They were all about spending quality time together, and that’s what they cherished the most.
Marcus threw his arm around his oldest cousin, Romeo. “So Rome, you ready for school in the fall?” he asked him with a huge smile on his face.
“I’m freaking out, man.” Romeo laughed.
“Hey, you’ll do fine. Mia’s starting her second year.” Romeo looked at me and smiled. He was starting law school, and I might see him around campus.
“Yeah, the first year was hard: a lot of studying and less partying. Well at least for me, but if you focus, you’ll do fine. If you need any help at all, I have no problem helping you study.”
“Really? That’s awesome. Thanks, Mia.” Marcus patted Romeo’s shoulder before he walked away.
“Thanks for that.” He said sitting beside me. “So, what do you think of my crazy family?” he whispered, leaning in so no one could hear him.
Turning, I brought my lips to his ear and whispered back, “They are the best family I have ever met. You’re very lucky to have them.” The side of his eyes wrinkled when he smiled. I kissed his cheek, and we continued talking to his family.
****
“Mia, don’t forget me on Wednesday!” Theresa yelled from the front porch. A few minutes earlier she’d plugged her number into my phone and mine into hers. She insisted that we have lunch downtown, just the two of us. If it were any other person, I would’ve been nervous, but she was so sweet it was hard to resist.
“I won’t, Theresa. See you then!” I yelled, waving my hand. She was the last to leave. Marcus closed the door after he said his goodbyes.
The entire day was draining. After cleaning the kitchen with his mother’s help, I felt beat. Elle fell asleep under the dining room table. She was playing hide and seek with her other little cousins. They never found her. Jimmie crawled underneath the table, lightly picked her up, and carried her to her room. Marcus and I stood alone by the foyer. He looked down at me. My serious expression let him know that I didn’t forget about our talk. Pressing his lips together, he closed his eyes, and then let out a heavy sigh. “You ready to go to bed?” I nodded in response.
We made our way up the stairs, not saying a word. When we reached the room, I heard a loud beeping sound from my phone: the same tone it makes when warning the battery is too low. Walking over to the nightstand, I unplugged Marcus’ phone and plugged mine in. When I unhooked his phone from the charger, it lit up, showing he had a message from Stephanie. Looking over my shoulder, I noticed he was by the dresser taking off his clothes. I’m not sure why it came over me, why within those few seconds I thought of it, but without second guessing, I quickly swiped the screen and opened the message.
I felt a punch to my chest and lost my breath. Heat boiled up in my veins and radiated all over my body till flames reached my face. This bitch sent him a picture of herself in nothing but a bright pink lace bra and a matching thong. It was a side profile of her entire body, posing with one hand on her hip with the other hand holding the phone toward a mirror, clearly taking the picture herself. Lifting the phone in disbelief, I turned around to face him. He was pulling down his jeans. Finally turning in my direction in nothing but his boxers, his eyes met my evil glare.
Startled by my quick change in demeanor, he asked, “What?”
“So, you’re still seeing Stephanie.” My tone was hoarse, holding back the tears.
His expression was puzzled. “What? No! Why would you even think that?”
Lifting up the phone, facing the screen to him, my tears fought against my will and escaped down my face. “Really, Marcus? Because if a woman sends a guy a half-naked picture of herself, it tells me that they are clearly FUCKING!” I threw the phone at him. He lifted his hands to block his face. The phone slammed against his forearms and fell to the ground. Damn it, I missed!
He reached over and grabbed the phone. When he saw the image on the screen, his face turned red with rage, and his eyes almost burst out of their sockets. Looking up at me, he slowly took a few steps forward, holding his hands up. “Babe, listen to me. I am not seeing Stephanie. I have no idea why she sent this to me. I swear.” His expression was still angry, but his tone was soothing. He was trying to calm me down.
Growing agitated by that notion, I yelled, “Okay, call her then!” Crossing my arms, I waited for his reply.
“Okay, I’ll call her right now.” He dabbed through his phone. I’m calling his bluff: he’s not calling her. After he touched another button, a ringing tone sounded in the room. He placed the call on speaker. Good. He looked at me, biting his lip, but I didn’t stop him. I tapped my foot against the floor, waiting impatiently. I wanted to hear what she had to say.
“Hey.” She picked up!
Not only did she pick up, she sounded seductive and happy as if she were waiting for his response. I hate her. I’ve never hated anyone in my entire life, until now.
“Why the fuck are you sending pictures like that to my phone, Stephanie!” Marcus yelled, clearly pissed. Good.
“I-I …” Shocked by his outburst, she grew silent.
“Huh?” he asked annoyed.
“I’ve missed you,” she whispered.
He sighed. “Stephanie, you know that the two of us were never serious. I’m with Mia now. I love her. You can’t do that again, do you hear me?” He lowered his tone but remained firm.
“Y-you love her?” Stephanie’s voice broke. Then she whimpered over the phone. I rolled my eyes. Ugh, I don’t even feel sorry for her. Who sends a naked picture of herself to a man who was in a relationship? To man that she knew was in a relationship! She knows how happy we are; she sees us in the office. Why would she try to break that up?
“Yes, I do. Look I think it would be best to transfer you to a different department.”
“I think that’s best,” she mumbled. Then I heard a long beeping tone. She hung up.
Marcus tossed his phone on the bed. Looking up at me, he waited for me to say something. I was so pissed off I couldn’t say anything. Instead, turning on the heels of my foot, I stomped in the bathroom. Stripping my clothes off, I turned the shower on and threw myself in.
I didn’t care to wait for the temperature to warm. I didn’t care that the freezing cold water stung against my skin when I entered the shower. I didn’t care that my lips trembled, and I surely didn’t care that this was the third shower I’d taken today. Leaning my head back, I allowed the water to massage my aching head. It was literally pounding. There was too much to handle these past few days. It was hard to keep up!
Marcus stepped in and wrapped his arms around me. Annoyed by this, I rolled my eyes. I needed privacy for ten damn minutes! He couldn’t leave me the hell alone? I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs. I relived every emotional moment I’d felt: our first fight, his saying he loves me, my not being sure of my feelings, the dream of my brother, my waking up and finally telling him I love him, his leaving last night and coming home a drunken mess, and just now the thought that he may have … had been with Stephanie after I confessed my love to him.
All of it, every bit of emotion erupted in the only way I knew how. I cried, and I don’t mean just tears. It was the sobbing, can’t breathe, choking-back-my-own-tears cry. It was embarrassing and pathetic, but I didn’t care. He turned me around, placing his hand on the back of my head, pulling me to his chest. As much as I wanted him to leave me alone, I wanted him to stay and hold me. These conflicted feelings were so stressing. How could you love someone when he was the reason for the mixed feelings?
“What’s wrong, Mia? Talk to me,” he whispered. Leaning my head back, I looked up at him.
“It’s just so confusing.” I confessed.
Wiping a strand of soaked hair behind my ear, he pressed his lips together before asking, “What is?”
“You, me, everything ... In the last two weeks, we’ve had so many wonderful moments, and then we had really bad ones too. You’re hot one minute, and then you’re cold the next. Sometimes I look at you, and you seem so lost. I want to ask you what’s wrong, but I know you’ll just hold back. I know there’s another side to you that you refuse to tell me about.”
Not saying a word, he just looked at me, waiting for me to go on, or maybe he was thinking about what I was saying. I decided to continue anyway. “Then last night, the way you were completely drunk. Do you do that often?” I tilted my head, pleading with him with my eyes to tell me something. He looked down. I didn’t say anything, not wanting to disturb his thoughts. He seemed to be contemplating whether to confess. When he finally fixed his gaze back to me, he opened his mouth then closed it again. “Marcus please, I won’t be able to help you, unless you tell me something. If you love me, you have to let me in.”
Nodding, he brought me down with him. We were both seated in the tub facing each other. The now-warm water was hitting the space between us. Looking up at the shower head, he let out a deep breath. Lowering his head, he focused on his legs. He continued to grip and un-grip the calves of his muscles, trying to focus on something other than me. I was going to say something, but he began to speak.
“I do drink a lot,” he blew out another breath, and still not looking up, he continued, “only, after a job. It’s only once a week, mostly like last night, but if it’s a simple job, then I’m good. When it involves … When I have to hurt someone, it fucking fucks with my head.”
Mouthing a small thank you prayer, I was happy he was finally talking to me about this. I tried to push my luck. “What do you mean job?” I asked.
His knee began to slowly bounce. It was a nervous gesture I hadn’t noticed before. “I work for Lou Sorrento. You know who that is?” he asked, finally meeting my eyes.
Lou Sorrento was the Italian mafia boss for the Sorrento family. I’d neither seen him in person nor pictures of him online, but I’d heard of him. I was able to put everything together: Uncle Louie is Lou Sorrento. Why hadn’t I thought of that before? I nodded at him, biting my bottom lip to hide my fear and anger—anger because he lied to me. When we met up for lunch that one day, he told me he had nothing to do with the Sorrento family. So I sat there patiently and listened to what he had to say.
“Well I started when I was young after my father was murdered. See Lou and my father knew each other since they were in diapers. I haven’t told you … but my father was always involved with the mob. His father was in it, and growing up, that’s all we knew. He wanted different for my brother and me. He made sure we were in the best private schools and had the best tutors. He even owned a small successful financing business. My father made sure to always stay low key, never buying extravagant things that looked like it was more than what his business was worth.”
He rubbed his temples with his fingers and continued. “Well, after my father’s death. I took it really hard, got into a lot trouble in school. I was almost expelled.” He laughed once at the memory. “My mother couldn’t handle me, so she asked Lou if he could put me in my place, you know. He said to me, ‘Marky, if yah angry, yah taking it out on the wrong man, yah know? Come work for me; you can earn some money on the side and take out that frustration on those who deserve it.’ So I did. It started off as doing some loan-shark stuff, beating a few men, collecting money that was owed to Louie.
“My father left us money, but after my mom paid off the house, debts, and the shore home, there wasn’t enough to pay for college. Louie offered to pay off my tuition. Then he started getting deeper with drug and gun cartels. That’s what I handle now. When there’s a trade, I and sometimes Jimmie go make sure everything goes through smoothly. When it doesn’t, you can guess the rest.” Looking up, his eyes began to search mine, anticipating my thoughts.
Shocked by his sudden confession, I felt speechless. Looking into his eyes, I tried to think of something to say. “Why can’t you just get out?” I whispered.
He shook his head. “It’s not that easy, Mia. There’s a lot more to this story, but that’s something I can’t explain to you right now. You just have to trust me.” Shrugging, he gave a small, gentle smile.
“Why did you lie to me when I asked you about your involvement with the Sorrentos the day we met for lunch?”
He sucked his teeth. “Come on, Mia, would you have given me a chance if I disclosed that information to you after we just met? I wanted you to get to know me, not that side. I wanted to show you there was another side of me—a good side.”
It’s true I wouldn’t have given him a shot whatsoever, and even though it’s only been two weeks, I can’t give up on him because I’m madly in love with him. Not wanting to press my luck, or force him into saying anything he didn’t want to say, I reached for his hand and spread my fingers in between his. Looking up I said, “Promise me somethin
g?”
Placing his hand to my face, he caressed my cheek with his thumb. “Anything.” He exhaled.
“Promise me, that you’ll never drink like that again. If you feel terrible or fucked up in the head after a job, come to me. You don’t have to talk about it. We’ll just lie there together. Okay?”
A confused, soft smile appeared on his face. He gripped the back of my neck, pulling me in. His moist lips kissed my forehead. “What am I going to do with you?” He mumbled through his lips. Shrugging my shoulders, I lifted my chin and kissed him.
Chapter Seventeen
It was the week of Fourth of July. It was two and a half months since Marcus and I met. We’d been going strong, spending a lot of time together, especially with his family. A lot can happen in two months, especially if you’re not careful. Oh God, why wasn’t I careful? I’m so stupid. Pacing back and forth, I waited till the timer went off. This was the longest three minutes of my life. My underarms were beginning to feel damp. Searching the bathroom cabinet, I found and grabbed a deodorant. I quickly rolled it under my arms. A loud buzzing noise startled me, and I dropped the deodorant into the sink.
It was time to look at my results, and I was scared. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the small stick and glanced down. My heart slightly dropped. Sure enough the small digital printout said it loud and clear: PREGNANT. I leaned over the counter to keep from fainting. Suddenly I was nauseated, and I didn’t think it had anything to do with the change in my hormones. Why and how did I allow it to get this far? These are the consequences of not taking precautions. It was no one’s fault but my own. I didn’t plan it, but I didn’t prevent it from happening. Ever since Marcus and I made the mistake of not using the protection the first time, it never came up to use it again. Oh God!