by Linda Kage
"Did you find him?"
I drew in a breath. "Not yet."
From the bed, Reese rose and hurried to collect Skylar from her cradle. I didn't even have to ask her, she simply bundled the sleeping infant into her car seat and then gathered up the diaper bag for us. After she nodded at me, letting me know she'd follow with the kid, I carried Eva from the room and out to my car. She didn't protest, which was good, because I didn't have any fight left inside me.
When we made it home, we put Skylar in the crib. She looked extra small in there by herself. Then we went to the front room and sat on the couch to wait. Pressed up against her and holding her hand, I squeezed Eva's fingers.
"Thank you for fighting for him," I finally said.
She didn't answer, just leaned her cheek on my shoulder and quietly cried, waiting through the rest of the night with me.
***
Two days passed. The two longest days of my life.
I didn't work, rarely ate, and only slept in spurts because I'd always jerk awake with a new idea of where I could look for Tristy. But she was never anywhere I searched. Reports came back to me from people who'd seen her with a baby, but I always just missed them by the time I got there.
At the beginning of the third day, my cell phone rang at two in the morning. I was instantly awake to answer the unlisted number. Next to me, Eva bolted upright and flipped on the bedside lamp, her eyes wide and alert.
"Hello?" I rushed out. Please be Tristy, please be Tristy, please—
"P-Pick?" Tristy's hoarse voice sounded scared and uncertain, but it made me sob out my relief.
"Oh God. Oh, thank God. Tris, where are you? Is Julian okay?"
"Julian?" she sneered after a loud sniff. "All you care about is Julian, isn't it? You used to ask if I was okay."
"Christ, Tristy. You abandoned him here, your own son. You fucking left him with me to take care of. So I did. Can you blame me for growing to love him? For worrying about him? Why did you take him?"
"Because he's mine! Why shouldn't I take him back? He's my kid. You annulled our marriage."
"I annulled the marriage because you took off. Now, where are you? I'll come to you, and we can talk, face to face." When she didn't answer, I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. "Tris, please. You scared the shit out of me. These last few days, not knowing where you were, not knowing what was happening to him, they've been the worst few days of my life. Just . . . talk to me. Please . . . Tell me where you are."
"I don't believe you," she said in a hoarse voice. "See, I don't believe that's why you stopped our marriage at all."
"What?" I shook my head, utterly confused. "You're not making any sense. Why are you doing this? Where are you? Why did you leave without even talking to me first?"
"Because of that blonde slut you had in your apartment, that's why."
My gaze shot to Tink. She chewed on a thumbnail as she watched me, her blue eyes wide with worry. "What?" she mouthed.
I shook my head and returned my attention to Tris. "What about her?" I asked cautiously.
"Who was she? And why was she taking care of my son?"
"She was taking care of your son that you abandoned because she's the babysitter."
Eva sat up straighter, her thumb dropping from her mouth as she realized she was being brought into the conversation.
"I thought Mrs. Rojas was watching him."
"The Rojas got sick. I had to hire someone else. Why should this upset you? Are you saying you suddenly care what happens to him, after you fucking left him alone? It was hours before I found him that day. Jesus, Tristy, how could you do that? He's not alone now, is he? Is he there with you? Is he okay?"
"He's fine," she muttered dismissively, "and I still think you're lying. I think she's a hell of a lot more than just the babysitter."
I hissed out a curse and rubbed at a spot on the center of my forehead that was beginning to ache. "Why are we even talking about this? Are you telling me you fucking took Julian away from me because of Eva?"
Eva gasped and set her hand against her heart. Tears immediately welled in her eyes. I reached out and grabbed her fingers hard, letting her know she'd done absolutely nothing wrong.
"She told me she was your Tinker Bell."
Except maybe that.
Damn it. I squeezed my eyes closed.
I didn't let go of Eva's hand though. All she'd done was tell Tris the truth. I couldn't fault her for that. Tristy would've just come up with some other reason to overreact. She always did.
"Yeah," I said, letting go of Eva so I could climb off the bed and pace the room. "Yes, she is. So what? How does that affect anything? You left."
She sniffed. "So, it's true, then? You found her. You really found the girl that witch told you was your one true love?"
My throat went dry. Why I hated talking about this with Tristy, I don't know why, but I did. I detested it.
With a nod, I gave the rusty answer. "Yes. I did."
Her sniffles turned into full-fledged sobs. "So, it's all going to come true. You're going to go off and live with her in your perfect little happily ever after in your perfect fucking house with the green lawn. And I'm going to die, young and alone."
"Damn it, you're not going to die young and alone. Not when I'm here for you. I've always been here for you. You're the oldest friend I have, and I will take care of you and Julian no matter what. Just tell me where you are, and I'll come take care of you."
She didn't hear anything I said, though. "I always thought you'd grow to love me . . . the way you loved her. I thought . . . I thought we'd stay married, and you'd finally realize how much we belong together. We've already been through everything. We know each other inside and out. How could she fucking come along and take you away from me?"
"Tristy, please don't do this. You need help. Just . . . let me come help you."
"I don't want to be your fucking charity case anymore. I want . . . I want you to look at me and just . . . love me already."
"I do," I said, my voice going hoarse and my entire chest tightening with fear. I didn't want to lie to her, but I absolutely could not say anything to cause her to hang up without telling me where she was. "Do you think I'd put up with so much shit from you all these years if I didn't love you at all? Who was always there after he raped you? Who carried you into the bathroom and washed you up? Who beat up anyone who ever hurt you? Who took you in when you were three months pregnant? Who made every fucking effort to help you get over your addiction? How can you even think I don't love you?" Just because I would never love her the way she wanted me to, didn't mean I didn't care.
I glanced at Eva, wondering what she was thinking as I expressed my feelings to another woman. Tears poured down her face, making me feel like shit. Glancing away because I couldn't handle watching her cry, I held out my hand and was rewarded when she took my fingers, squeezing supportively.
"I love you, Tris," I said, swallowing down the acid in my throat as I spoke the words, all the while pulling Eva close and burying my face in her neck. "Now, please . . . please, please just tell me how to get to you."
"I . . . " She paused to cough. "I'm in an abandoned underpass by the train station."
"Okay, good. Good. I'll be right there. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right there." It took everything I had not to ask about Julian again, but I didn't want to do anything else to upset her and cause her to leave before I arrived.
"Hurry," she slurred. "I'm getting tired."
"I will. I'll be right there." I hung up and immediately whirled to Eva. "I'm sorry."
She blinked, looking startled. "For what? You got her to tell you where she was."
Yes, yes, I had. And it'd taken out a chunk of my soul to do it.
Yanking open my dresser drawer, I pulled out the first shirt I saw. "But I hated that I had to . . . that I had to say all that . . . in front of you."
Eva reached forward, her fingers trembling as she helped me dress. "Pick, we don't have time for this.
I understand. Just . . . bring back our boy."
I paused and looked at her. "You know you can't come." It wasn't a question, but a startled revelation. I had assumed she'd fight to go with me. She'd try to call Mrs. Rojas or Reese over to watch Skylar so she could be right there when I saw Julian again. But that couldn't happen. It'd only set Tristy off, and Eva knew it as much as I did.
Finding some jeans for me, she bent in front of me and held them open for me to step into. More love and respect surged inside me. Setting my hand on her head, I put my first foot into the denim and then the second.
"I love you so much, Tink."
She yanked the jeans up my legs. "I know." Her voice was a little breathless as she rushed to zip me. "I love you too." Her smile trembled and tears still welled, but when she looked at me, that was all I needed—her gaze on me.
"I gotta go."
She nodded, but when I started to turn away to fetch my shoes, she grabbed my shirt and yanked me back. "Wait." When I met her gaze, she captured my face in her hands. "You're the best man I've ever met, Patrick Ryan. Thank you for choosing me."
I kissed her hard. "I'll always choose you."
***
It took me twenty minutes to make it to the train station, but finding the overpass Tristy had been talking about was another matter entirely. There were so many railway lines and viaducts I didn't even know where to start. Parking at the station, I started at the closest, jogging to it on foot and calling out Tristy's name. I rustled up a homeless bum, but it wasn't Tristy or Julian. He began to snap at me until he took in my metal and tattoos. Then he backed off and left me alone.
I tried the next overpass, winded by the time I reached it. Still no luck. Working in a circle around the train depot, I kept searching.
About an hour into my hunt, I heard police sirens.
My stomach knotted into one big painful bundle as a bad feeling hit me hard. I tore off in that direction, because it came within a half mile from the train station.
They already had barricades up and were blocking off a crowd by the time I made it there. Breathing hard from my sprint, I nudged my way to the front where a cop was commanding everyone to clear out.
When I heard a baby crying up where all the red and blue lights were flashing, I panicked. It sounded like Julian's wail. Hurdling one of the police lines, I started that way but a cop shouted at me.
"Hey!" He grabbed my arm.
"I think that's my baby." I pointed and slowed a little but I kept walking in the direction of all the commotions of cop cars and ambulances. "My wife took off a couple days ago with my son, and I think she's somewhere around here. I have to see if that's my baby."
"Okay, fine. All right, kid. Just calm down. You stay here, and I'll find out if that's your son." He pointed at me warningly, but as soon as he turned away to stride off, I followed him. Another police officer noticed us approaching. When I caught his eye, his widened, and we both recognized each other at the same moment.
The nicer cop who'd been at my apartment for all the complaints pointed in my direction. "Hey, there's the father."
Oh, God.
Realizing I'd found Julian, I surged forward, scanning frantically. "Where is he? Is he okay?"
"Right here," someone answered. I turned to find a male cop, standing at the opened doors of an ambulance, trying to hold a hysterical Julian. The blanket wrapped around him was shredded and dirty enough it could've been dragged on the ground for the past three days. But what caused tears to prick my eyes was the dirt smeared all over my son and the swollen, bruised cuts slashed across his forehead.
"Oh, fuck." My knees buckled once, but I kept running until I was with him and taking him out of the other man's hands. "My boy. My little boy."
I turned him to press his chest against mine as he liked to be held best when he was upset, and I immediately started cooing in his ear. "It's okay, buddy. I'm here. I'm here now. It's okay, Julian. My little Fighter."
I started singing "Kryptonite." He grabbed onto my shirt and buried his face in my neck. My tears kept flowing as he settled. But he'd been so upset, little tremors from hyperventilating occasionally shot through him as he gasped for air. Through it all, he refused to let go of me. And I refused to let go of him.
"It's okay," I repeated when I could sing no more. I kept my voice calm, even though the rest of me grew more and more furious. Kissing the side of his head, I petted his hair, and then rested my cheek against him before glancing at the cop who'd been holding him. "How could she do this to him? Where the fuck is she?"
The man's eyes filled with sympathy and regret. "I'm sorry, sir. But your wife overdosed. She didn't make it."
EVA
Pick was gone six hours. He only called once to let me know he had Julian, and that our son was okay. They were on their way home from the hospital where the police had demanded a checkup.
The mention of a hospital and the police freaked me out. Pick's voice had shaken so hard, though, and sounded so frantic, I didn't question him. If he was on his way home, I figured I'd get my answers soon enough. And I did as soon as he opened the door. I saw Julian's swollen, scratched face and lost it.
"Oh my God. My little boy." I snatched him from Pick's arms and moaned as I pressed him against me, breathing in the unfamiliar smells that were wafting from him. I held him tight as he buried his face into my neck, grabbing handfuls of my hair like he always did—which only made me cry harder.
"How could she do this to him?" I demanded, whirling to face Pick over Julian's shoulder. "Where the fuck is that crazy bitch?" I was determined to claw her face off.
Pick stared at me, his expression hollow and eyes red-rimmed from crying. His voice was hoarse when he said, "She's dead."
My mouth fell open. I waited for him to explain, but he just trudged past me like a tired, old man. He started toward the couch before he caught sight of Skylar sleeping in the bouncer. Scooping her up, he pulled her close as he sat down with her and buried his nose in her hair.
When he finally looked up at me, the dazed expression in his eyes told me he was in shock. Without a word, I sat next to him, and the four of us huddled together, just sitting there.
***
Though I was by no means ready to let him go, I knew Julian needed lots of rest, so at some point, I reluctantly rose and carried him to the crib. Pick followed me with a still sleeping Skylar and nestled her next to Julian.
I delicately touched the scrapes on his face and once again felt the rage welling. Setting my knuckles to my mouth, I wished Tristy were well on her way to hell.
Pick caught my hand, startling me. When I looked up, the darkness in his eyes shocked me. He looked savage. Turning away, he started for the doorway, drawing me out of the nursery with him.
I had no idea what was going through his head. His son had finally been returned, yet he had to be pissed about what'd been done to Julian. On the other hand, his oldest friend had just died, even though she probably wasn't his favorite person at the moment. His head had to be all over the place.
Touching his back, I asked, "Are you okay?"
He didn't answer, just kept his back to me as he quietly shut the door so as not to disturb the children. Then he spun to me and pushed me against the wall. His mouth was on mine and his tongue was inside me before I even knew what was happening.
Heat lightning exploded out the ends of my toes. Instantly aroused, I wrapped my arms around him as he lifted me up again the wall. I tried to follow suit with my legs but he stopped me so he could grapple with my pants and shove them down, along with my underwear.
Then he grasped my bare thigh and hooked it around his hips. He sank his teeth into one of my breasts through my blouse, and I squirmed against him, wanting all my clothes out of the way so he could bite whatever he wanted.
"I need you so much right now," he panted as he opened his jeans and slid a condom on. I gaped at how hard and hungry he was.
The man was desperate, and he proved it by t
hrusting into me, rough and fast. The shock of his ravenous penetration made me cry out. Just as needy for him, I moved with him, arching into his next deep pump. His mouth ravished mine as he pinned me to the wall and took me without mercy.
"Yes," I said, biting his ear and clenching around him when he hit a spot that had my toes curling.
"Eva . . . " He groaned, breaking off to breathe into my mouth as his hips bucked in a ceaseless rhythm, pounding faster until I was clutching fistfuls of his hair and we were both crying out. He released into me hard, using my body to heal himself, and I was honored to alleviate his pain.
When his entire frame sagged against me and he buried his face in my neck, I knew he'd just worked through some of whatever was haunting him.
"I love you so much," he murmured, his voice slurred and sleepy.
I kissed his cheek and brushed his hair off his forehead. "I love you too."
"I don't know what I'd do right now without you."
"Well . . . " I bit my lip, wanting to make him smile. "To begin with, you probably would've had to jack off."
His lips fluttered into a half-smile as he lifted his face. "And it wouldn't have felt nearly this good."
He scooped me up into his arms and carried me toward our room. Once we were nestled under the blankets, he spooned himself behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist before setting his chin on my shoulder.
"I'm serious, Eva. Without you, I have no idea how my life would've turned out. If I hadn't had that vision of you and wanted you with every fiber of my being, I probably would've followed the same path as Tristy and gotten sucked into drugs. Or I would've done what my other friend Harvey did, and joined a gang. He was shot and killed in a drive-by when he was sixteen."
I kissed his jaw. "I'm so sorry for all your loss."
He mumbled something incoherent as if he didn't want to think about that. Then he began to pet my side. "You know how you keep saying I was your hero and I saved you when I beat up your ex and your dad? That's bullshit. You're my hero. Meeting you in those glimpses saved me. It made me want to be a good person so I could deserve you when I finally found you. And now that you're here, holding me and letting me love you when I just want to implode from the inside out . . . " He buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply. "You don't even know what your mere presence does to me. You're my sanity."