CHAPTER 11

 
 
“I’ve found the perfect sperm for my baby,”
Clarice announced to her two best friends and cousin while drinking
her green tea in the sidewalk dining area of their favourite coffee
shop later that afternoon.
As soon as Clarice uttered this sentence,
three things happened at once. Max choked on his freshly squeezed
orange juice, which required a thump on his back to recover. Elise,
who was drinking her fruit juice, just left the straw hanging from
her mouth. And Whitney, who was about to say something, dropped her
already gaped jaw like a Venus flytrap waiting for its next
meal.
“All right, you guys, I’m sure my news isn’t
all that exciting,” Clarice said, thumping her cousin on the back
before pulling down Elise’s straw and nudging Whitney’s chin so her
mouth would close.
“You mind repeating that again, cuz?” Max
asked when he’d recovered. “My mind is a bit boggled with midterm
exams right now. Can’t think properly. And then you have to drop
this bomb on us like that.”
“Max, my dear, if my news is causing your
brain cells to dysfunction, then you should’ve stayed home to study
for your exams instead of coming here to entertain us.”
“I’m just a kind cousin.” Max grinned
mischievously from ear to ear.
“No, you’re here because you want to drink
and eat free food,” Whitney said.
“Okay, that could be the reason too,” Max
said, shooting a death glare toward Whitney, then wound his arm
around Elise. “But anywho, you were saying you found the perfect
sperm for your baby? Who is this bro all of a sudden? I thought
you were going to report back to us about your date last week.”
“Yes, Clarice, I thought that was why we’d
decided to meet up here,” Elise agreed.
“Well, regarding that candidate, he dumped
me on the spot,” Clarice announced simply, like she was commenting
about the fine weather today.
“What?” Whitney stood, an angry look on her
face. They all knew when Whitney had that look on her face, it
meant death.
“Whitney, calm down. Don’t be drastic. Let
Clarice explain first,” Elise said, pulling on Whitney’s sleeve,
all too aware now of the audience they were gaining. Elise didn’t
like audiences. She avoided being the center of attention at all
costs.
“Explain, then,” Whitney stated, sitting
back down, readjusting the glasses she wore for her outside
persona.
“He saw my age and dumped me,” Clarice told
them.
“Why that no-good piece of crap. If I see
him, I’ll kill him for sure.” Whitney seethed, standing again,
while Max slammed his fist down on the table so sudden and forceful
that it made the table shake, along with both Clarice and Elise
too.
“No one dumps my cousin,” Max fumed and
stood too. “Only she is allowed to dump them first.” Then he turned
to Clarice and said, “Who is the bastard, Clarice? Tell me so I can
give him a taste of my fist.”
Max was all hyped up, rolling up his sleeves
to reveal his underdeveloped muscles to prove he could protect his
cousin. “Even better yet, I’ll give him a full face reconstruction.
What do you say, cuz?”
“Brilliant, Max, brilliant. I agree with you
wholeheartedly. We should give him a leg reconstruction too,”
Whitney added.
By this time, their commotion had alerted
the other patrons in the café. Now all eyes were on them, which
made Elise sink even lower into her chair.
“God, you two, will you both calm down?
You’re like a bunch of clowns. Sit down right now. We’re not in a
circus, you know.” Clarice stood also, to calm them down.
“I’m not a clown. I’m a school kid,” Max
said, grumbling under his breath, sitting back down in his chair
obediently like a good schoolboy would.
“I know, but the way both of you are acting,
you’re more like clowns to me. Now sit,” Clarice said sternly.
“Yes, Whitney. Please sit down. You’re
making a scene,” Elise said, tugging on Whitney’s sleeve.
“I can’t help it,” she said in
irritation.
“Of course you can’t help it. You can never
help it.” Elise started giggling all of a sudden.
“What’s so funny?” Whitney asked with a
heated glare.
“You never change, Whitney. Not since
intermediate school,” Elise said, still giggling.
Elise was thinking of the episode when
Whitney punched a boy in the nose so hard he ended up bleeding and
taken to hospital, all because that boy badmouthed Clarice about
being half-blooded.
Whitney seemed to know what Elise was
referring to, so she just smiled. “Gotta defend my BFF.”
“And I thank you both for that,” Clarice
said, remembering that particular occasion also.
“What are you guys on about?” Max asked at
the sudden change of subject.
“Just about friendships and protecting each
other, Max,” Elise said, smiling.
“Anywho, back to the present topic, then?”
Max suggested, uninterested in their mysterious conversation. Was
he even born then? He didn’t care. What was more interesting was
that bastard that dumped his cousin and the sperm she wanted so
badly.
“Yes, the present topic,” Elise prompted
Clarice.
“Right,” Clarice said, taking a deep breath
before revisiting the subject of sperm, babies, the faults of
artificial insemination, and her bad date. “He’s perfect, guys. The
textbook genetic makeup for my baby.”
“Is this bro someone else?” Max asked.
“Indeed, Max, indeed.” Clarice smiled,
clasping her hands together, so happy with the prospects panning
out before her eyes. Soon she would have her baby. She must start
thinking about clothing, putting money aside for education, and how
to tell her family. So much to do and so little time.
“What’s he like?” Max asked, his curiosity
piqued about the kind of man that would thus capture his cousin’s
attention. Clarice wasn’t ugly so he couldn’t understand why no guy
would fall for her. Perhaps she was just a little naïve; that was
all. When people looked at her, she assumed they were looking at
the girl walking next to her. When men said she looked beautiful,
she assumed it was the clothes she wore, not her true self. Low
self-esteem, that’s what his cousin’s problem was. All that
bullying when she was younger really had an impact on her ability
to view herself positively these days.
“Are you telling me you only want his sperm
and not him?” Whitney asked.
“You are so right, Whitney. So smart. That’s
why you’re the president of E Magazine at such a young
age.”
“Would you stop saying that already? I got
the position six months ago. It’s old news now anyway,” Whitney
said, embarrassed.
She hated when her friends mentioned
anything about her workplace. She didn’t want her personal life
mixed up with her professional life, especially portraying two
personas. It was already hard enough to distinguish which role was
which. Tilting her coke-bottle lenses back up on her nose, she
glared at Clarice.
“Still, out of all of us, you’re the smart
one,” Clarice said, smiling at Whitney.
“You’re the intelligent one. I could never
get into dentistry and become a periodontist like you,” Elise
said.
“And you’re the pretty one, Elise,” Max
said, smiling and wrapping his arm around her again. “Now, can we
get back to the present subject? I want to know who this bro is.
And if he’s as smart and hot as me.”
“Handsome, smart, kind, gentle, sincere.
Everything like you, Max. And everything I’ve listed, guys. And to
top it all off—you guys won’t believe this—he’s the CEO of
Silverton Hotel.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Clarice.” Max
slammed his palms on the tabletop again. “How did you bump into
that god?”
Max did a lot of internet blog reading, and
in New Zealand and Australia right now, the top business in the
blue chip industry was Silverton Enterprises, which also owned and
operated Silverton Hotel. Whoever was behind that corporate
structure, he admired.
“The god is in fact his uncle. He’s the
nephew,” Clarice explained.
“What’s his name? I could do a little
detective work for you,” Max suggested.
“Anton,” Clarice said.
“Anton,” Whitney and Elise both
parroted.
Max typed Anton’s name into his phone while
sipping the last of his orange juice. Glancing up from the glass,
he eyed his cousin, using his big puppy dog eyes.
“Clarice, cuz, be a dear and give me another
ten bucks for some juice.”
“You just had one,” Clarice said, eyeing
Max’s now emptied glass.
“I know, but I like it. I want to drink
another one. This time apple,” Max pleaded.
“You know drinking too much juice isn’t good
for your teeth. Didn’t I tell you this already?” Clarice
argued.
“I know… it causes my teeth to rot if
I sip it instead of drinking it all in one go. God, you’re so
annoying sometimes. I’m drinking with a straw, aren’t I? So there
shouldn’t be any problem, right? Please, just another one. They
make good fresh apple juice here. I like it. And when will you be
free again to take me out?”
“No, Max, I won’t allow it.” Clarice didn’t
give in to her younger cousin’s plea.
“Fine, meanie,” Max said, poking his tongue
out at Clarice, then turned to Elise. He gave her his biggest and
cutest puppy dog pleading eyes.
“Don’t fall for it, Elise,” Whitney
warned.
“Clarice, can I?” Elise asked, pulling out
her wallet, while Max was smiling with glee at the money he was
about to receive.
“Ahhh, if you come to my clinic with rotten
teeth, I will not be held responsible.” Clarice took a
ten-dollar note out of her own wallet and handed it to Max
instead.
“Thank you, cuz. I knew I could count on
you,” he said, jumping out of his chair. “And that’s what you call
reverse psychology, ladies,” he added before smiling and turning
his full attention to Elise. “And thank you, Elise, for helping
out.”
“You shouldn’t do this, Elise. Always
spoiling him,” Clarice said, watching her cousin enter the
café.
“I adore him. He’s a good kid,” Elise said,
smiling after him. “Anyway, I want to talk to you seriously about
your plan for the future, with this man. Are you sure this is what
you want?’
“Yes. I’m sure,” Clarice said.
“You won’t get lonely after having the baby
with no father?” Whitney chimed in.
“No, I’ve been thinking about this a lot,
guys. I know I’m old, and I know no one would consider me at this
age.”
“Not that again, Clarice. You know you’re
beautiful. You don’t need some guy to tell you that or to make you
feel like an angel every morning.”
“I know. That’s what I’m getting at. I’m
over being called ugly and teased in the past. I don’t care about
that anymore. It doesn’t concern me. What I want right now is a
baby. No room for love. I only want to give my love to my baby. But
I don’t have time to wait. I feel like this is the perfect time. I
need a baby now. If I choose Anton, then my chances are high. I can
get pregnant before I turn thirty-five. I don’t want to wake up one
morning and realize I’m too old to have a child.”
“You’re right there, but the big question
is, how do you plan to go about capturing him?” Elise asked.
“Yes, obviously you can’t just… ask him.”
Whitney gave her opinion.
“And that, guys, is where it all stops,”
Clarice confessed. She knew she wanted Anton’s sperm, but the thing
was she just didn’t know how to go about collecting that sperm. “I
have absolutely no idea how to go about this.”
“Would it be better if you just go to the
fertility clinic? It saves you from thinking of all these weird
ways to capture his sperm,” Whitney suggested.
“I’ve just been to the clinic today. They
won’t allow me to see the man’s face,” Clarice said. “I can’t have
that. I need to see his face.”
“Clarice, wouldn’t it be better not to have
a face to go with the sperm? I mean, what if you ended up liking
your sperm donor and hunting him down, only to find he already has
a family?” Elise said.
“That’s what the doctor said, but I kind of
made a scene already, so I don’t think I’m can go back there,”
Clarice said sheepishly.
“There are other clinics, you know,” Whitney
suggested.
“I know, but my mind is set on this one,”
Clarice spoke.
“Okay, how to go about it, then?” Elise
asked.
“Go about what?” Max butted in when he
returned with his apple juice.
“About capturing the perfect sperm for
Clarice,” Elise explained.
“Why are we on to capturing sperm now? What
did I miss?” Max asked.
“Nothing much,” Whitney explained. “Just
that. To find a way to capture that sperm so Clarice can fall
pregnant before the end of the year.”
“Oh, that.” Max laughed as if he were
possessed by some unknown spirit. His eyes shot up and he stared at
the three older women, suddenly serious. “Easy,” he said, “just
pounce on him.”
“What?” Clarice was flabbergasted at her
cousin’s suggestion. “Max, I’m not a lion stalking my prey.”
“What I mean is seduce him,” Max
clarified.
“Seduce him? Like how?” Clarice asked in
confusion.
“You know, so that one plus one equals one.”
Max wiggled his eyebrows.
“No, one plus one equals two,” Whitney and
Clarice both said at the same time.
“God, why are you two so naïve? You’re both
mature women, but you don’t even know what one plus one is.”
“Max, I know my mathematics. One plus one
equals two,” Clarice told her younger cousin.
“Mmm. I was good at maths,” Whitney said,
nodding. “Even I can work it out.”
Elise began giggling on the sideline. “You
guys, what Max said has nothing to do with mathematics. He means
for you to sleep with Anton so you can have the sperm to make you
pregnant.”
“What?” Clarice’s face bloomed pink.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t think about that
avenue?” Elise asked with a quirk of her eyebrow.
“Of course not. I was just planning to ask
him formally,” Clarice said.
“You could and see what he says,” Whitney
added, because even she herself couldn’t even imagine Clarice
sleeping with anyone. Love was a deal-breaking factor in that
department.
“Obviously, he would say no, cuz.” Max
provided his opinion. “Who in their right mind would donate sperm
to a woman just because she asked for it? Unless you sleep with
them, of course. And how is he supposed to deliver the live sperm
to you anyway, if, hypothetically speaking, he agrees on your terms
and conditions? Like when he gets his thing up and hard, then…”
Argh, how could he explain this analogy to his cousin? Then he
finally said, “You know that thing, and then he puts it in a petri
dish for you.”
“Thing? What thing?” Clarice asked, looking
even more confused.
Max sighed. “You know… his little brother,
ding-dong, willie?”
“Urrgh, Max, that’s gross terminology.”
Clarice winced in disgust.
“What am I supposed to say? Co—”
“Don’t even say it. I’ll make you wash your
mouth out when you get home,” Clarice warned.
“Enough about the terminology, then. What
I’m trying to say is the best way is just to sleep with him. Get it
once and then it’s done. Just make sure he doesn’t wear a condom,
that’s all.”
“Max, I’m going to smack your head in a
minute. Stop suggesting such foul ideas.” Clarice’s cheeks burned
even brighter.
“You don’t have to be shy, cuz. I know
you’ve never done it before.”
“That’s it. Elise, switch seats with me. I’m
going to give this no-good cousin of mine a full-blown
punishment.”
“Elise, help me.” Max hugged himself closer
to Elise.
“You know, what Max said is also true. I
think he has a point,” Whitney said after pondering his
suggestion.
“Whitney, how could you agree with him? You
never agree on anything he says.” Clarice glared at her friend like
she’d just grown a pair of devil’s horns.
Whitney and Max hardly got along, but now it
looked like the ray of friendship was shining upon them.
“That’s because I didn’t want to admit he’s
smart. This time, he really is smart,” Whitney said.
“Whitney. I love you. I am now officially
your friend. Give me a hug.” Max got up from his seat and went to
hug Whitney from behind.
“All right, enough now, little puppy. Let’s
get back to business.” Whitney patted Max on the hand that he’d
wound around her neck. “Now, be a good boy and go back to your
seat,” she instructed.
Once Max went back to his seat as Whitney
had ordered, she turned to Clarice. “You should listen to Max’s
advice.”
“No, no. I’ve never done it before.” Clarice
shook her head, not wanting to acknowledge the truth.
“If you want his sperm that much, then
you’ll have to do it. I’ll help you,” Max added.
“No!” Clarice said. “I want a baby, but that
doesn’t mean I have to beg someone to sleep with me. I still have
my dignity, you know.”
“Fine,” Max grumbled as he slid back into
his chair.
Meanwhile, Whitney and Elise watched their
friend’s sad face and wondered what they could do to help with her
dilemma.