by Shayla Black
“Don’t say that. You were young and you didn’t know. You’ll be a great mother. I hardly know you, but I know that. We’ll be better than our parents.”
“How can you know?”
“One, because you’re already thinking about it. Already wanting more for your children. And two, because we’re loved. Love does… Love changes a person.
“The best thing you can do for a child is to love them. You can ask anyone that. It’s the thing they need most. If you love Daniel and he loves you, you’re already off to a better start than our parents.”
“God knows one thing these men do is love hard,” I comment, agreeing with her and hoping she’s right. “Even with all the shit they’re in.”
“They do,” she agrees with me, casually reaching in the fridge for creamer. As if this is only a mundane conversation and not the turning point in my life that I feel it is in my bones.
“So you’re going to try again?” she asks me.
I want to tell her I’m scared. Scared to try, scared to lose. Scared I won’t be good enough. But I save those sentiments for Daniel. If I tell anyone, it should be him.
So I answer simply, “Yes.” I want a baby with him. A life. I want to grow old with him and be surrounded by a loving family. To love and be loved. “We’re going to try again.”
7
Daniel
“I just need to know.” A raw hint of emotion makes Carter’s voice tight. He clears his throat as he leans back in the chair. “I would understand; I just need to be prepared and we can work something out.” His voice is clearer, firmer, but he still can’t look me in the eyes.
“I’m not leaving. There’s nothing else for me. I can’t leave.”
“But Addison—” he argues, already having it in his head that we need to leave.
“She doesn’t want to leave either.” It’s quiet for a moment, then Carter finally looks at me, letting the statement sink in. “We’re staying and we’ll be all right.”
The ticking of the clock in his office is ever present. It fills the silence until he nods in agreement.
“A lot happened,” he comments.
“It will settle down. It’ll slow down.”
A knock at the office door accompanies his hum of agreement.
“It will,” he tells me before calling out, “Come in” to whoever it is at the door.
Addison.
“Am I interrupting?” Her question is softly spoken, but it carries through the room clearly as she stands there, not in the room, but not out of it either.
“Not at all,” Carter answers. His shoulders are straighter, his expression firmer. He really thought we were going to leave. He has the look of a man who’d already accepted loss.
“I was hoping to talk to both of you…” She trails off as her gaze drops to the floor nervously before peeking back up at us. “I had a thought.”
A prick of uncertainty creeps along my spine as she slowly walks into the room and stops at the chair next to mine. With her grip on the back of it, she chooses not to sit as she tells us, “I want to pay a visit to Officer Walsh.”
“The hell you are.” My answer is immediate. And also ignored. Addison’s stare is unmoving and directed at Carter.
He doesn’t answer, neither of them looking at me.
“The fuck you are,” I say to emphasize my position. “There’s no reason for you to be anywhere near him.”
“Other than the fact that I’m with you. That my place is beside you…so yeah, there is.”
Carter’s still quiet and the ticking of the clock is louder, just like the rush of my blood is in my ears.
“Daniel,” she says, and Addison’s tone is gentle.
“No. You shouldn’t be concerned with this.”
“I don’t want to be mixed up in this, but I don’t want to be afraid of this man. I don’t want him to think he can get to me.”
“Are you sure you want to do that? You getting involved is more…” Carter talks to her, again, ignoring me.
The irritation grows as the two of them discuss this as though it’s a casual conversation.
“Stress? No. I think the stress comes from not knowing. I need to know. And if I can do something, I need to do it.”
“I don’t want you to—”
“To go to a police station? Where you have plenty of men in your back pocket?” Addison cuts me off and slight desperation seeps into her cadence. “I…” She pauses and swallows thickly. “I want you to think about it. Think about what I should be doing and what it would do for me.” She puts her hand over mine to tell me, “I want to do this. I want to show that man who I am and that I’m with you. With all of you,” she amends, giving Carter a nod.
“Just think about it.” She leaves me there, my foot subconsciously tapping against the leg of the chair. The second the office door closes, I admonish my brother, “You couldn’t back me up with that one?” The sarcasm is thick and unforgiving.
“You weren’t lying, were you? She does want to stay.”
For the first time in a long time, my brother smiles.
“If she wants to stay, then, Daniel, for the love of God, let her. Let her do what she needs to do.”
8
Addison
“Two sets of eyes are on his office in case he shuts the door.”
“I know,” I answer Daniel.
“If we lose sight for even a moment, I’m coming in.”
“I know,” I repeat and even though I’m attempting to sound agitated, I’m anything but. “You’re cute when you’re worried.”
His short huff is humorless, coming deep from his chest as we sit in the car.
“In and out, Addison,” he tells me, leaning over the console to give me a peck on the cheek. I don’t kiss him back, because I’m waiting, and sure enough, he asks again.
“You sure you want to do this?”
The way he asks it melts everything inside of me. I don’t answer him with words; instead I put a hand on either side of his handsome face, feeling his stubble beneath my palms, and press a gentle kiss to his lips. His dark eyes are open and staring down at me when I pull away.
“I’ll be right back,” I murmur.
“And I’ll be right here.”
As I shut the door to the car, I hear him say he’s starting the clock. I have five minutes. That’s what he gave me and I’m just fine with that.
If I’m going to be here with Daniel, as his wife and as a part of his family, I’m going to make sure everyone knows exactly where I stand.
Even with that confidence, my heart hammers as I walk through the dark glass doors to the station. Officer Walsh’s office is upstairs on the second floor. The elevator is empty, which doesn’t ease my nerves at all. I have to shake out my clammy hands and give myself a pep talk.
I’m merely planning to apologize for being caught off guard. To thank Officer Walsh for asking if I was all right and to let him know that I’m more than all right and not to question where I stand with the Cross brothers again.
Daniel and his brothers told me where Walsh’s office is. It’s the back-right corner office. I’m glad I know where it is and that when I finally get close, his door is open and he’s right in view. Alone, unsuspecting. Just like I was when he approached me.
It’s hard to give him the benefit of the doubt. That he’s only a cop looking out for a woman who’s mixed up with men like the Cross brothers.
I try to keep it in mind as I raise my fist to the open door and knock gently.
Words were nearly spoken as he lifts his head, but when Cody Walsh sees me, they’re silenced and instead he’s slow to tap the papers in his hands on the desk. “Miss Fawn.”
“Officer Walsh.” I speak his name pleasantly. Forgetting the pounding of adrenaline in my blood and noting that he’s only a man. Nothing more than human.
“I thought I’d see you again,” he comments. “Please come in.”
It’s quiet for a moment as I try to get ahold of
my bearings.
He speaks first, easing the tension. “You’ll have to forgive my first impression. I don’t know what to make of the relationships they have. Your fiancé and his brothers.”
“Relationships?” I question, raising a brow and deciding to make light of it. “If Daniel has more than one of me…well, no wonder he’s so stressed.”
The short chuckle eases the officer slightly as he leans back in his chair, but his guard is still up. Something tells me it always is.
“Have a seat,” he offers, and I shake my head, telling him I was just stopping by for a quick moment.
“I’m not the bad guy, you know?” he tells me, catching me off guard.
“I didn’t say you were.”
“You didn’t have to,” he responds solemnly. “I’m still getting a read on them and you didn’t seem like you were all right,” he explains although he doesn’t have to.
“He’s not a bad guy either.” And I defend Daniel, although I don’t have to.
“I didn’t say he was.”
It’s quiet for a moment and I debate saying what’s on my mind. I nearly don’t but I decide I may never have another chance, so I should take it.
“You shouldn’t have mentioned my past. The foster…situation. Without it, you would have seemed like less of a bad guy.”
“Without it, I wouldn’t have known whether or not you knew.”
I hum in agreement, nodding although I don’t take my eyes off of his.
“What do I owe this visit to?” he asks when I go quiet, taking him in and trying to see where he falls. It changes with every passing minute. “Did you have a message for me?” he questions.
“As if I’d do their dirty work? No, I don’t have a message. I’m not privy to those conversations, Mr. Walsh. As you know, I appear to be the last to know most things around here.” Lying comes easier than I thought it would. In fact, I kind of like it. There’s a devilish spark that riddles its way through me as he asks me, “And you’re okay with that?”
I’m not okay with it. But that’s one thing that’s changing. Daniel’s right. I need to know. I was always meant to be a part of this. I need this.
Reaching into my purse, I pull out a Tupperware of fresh-baked cookies.
“For you,” I say while offering the small container. “I made a larger batch, but not all of them survived.”
He rises out of his seat but stops short of taking them for only a moment before accepting the gift. “Snickerdoodles?”
I shrug and say, “Cinnamon makes people happy.”
“You made me cookies?”
“I was having a bad day; I was short with you and I apologize.”
“I apologize as well; I sometimes forget that not every conversation is an interrogation.”
Looking at the clock on the wall above his head, I see five minutes has already passed. Half of me is surprised Daniel isn’t here, waiting behind me. The other half is relieved he’s given me this. I can handle this, and I want him to know it.
Patting the lid of the Tupperware, I offer him a smile and say, “I hope you like them. And I hope you know where I stand now.”
His statement keeps me from turning and leaving like I’d planned. “I’m just wondering what you see in him.” Officer Walsh doesn’t look at me with curiosity; it’s simply matter-of-fact. “From what I read, you had a hard upbringing, you fell into step with a group of brothers who took care of your problems, but then you took off. You’d gotten away, you made a new life, and then you came back… Why? Why come back to this?”
“To them, you mean.” It’s not a question that comes from me so easily, it’s a correction. “You obviously don’t know them well…yet,” I add. “If you knew them, you’d know why.”
His chair groans as he heaves back. It gives with the pressure of his back pushing against it and then he clicks his tongue. He seems to debate his words and then he jokes, of all things, lightening the tension, “It’s because he’s good-looking, isn’t it?”
I let a small laugh leave me before I playfully respond, “He’s handsome. He has a really charming smile…but you should hear him laugh.”
My heart does a funny thing at the memory of it from just the other night.
The officer’s rough chuckle doesn’t compare in the least. He’s a handsome man, on the right side of the law, with power and a strength that any woman would find attractive. But he’s not my damaged hero. He’s not a part of my family.
He’s a pawn in their game and I’m content in doing my part.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” he asks me just as I turn my back to him, and my smile nearly falters. Nearly, but I hold it in place.
Turning back around and leaning forward, I have to lower my voice and whisper as though what I’m telling him is a secret. “I’m absolutely certain.”
I leave without another word, but before the door closes to his office, I hear him say, “I really hope you are.”
The ghost of a smile on my lips doesn’t leave; it stays right where it is even though I feel a chill down my spine. It grows colder with every step. Among the clatter of keyboards, phones ringing, and the white noise of the officers and secretaries talking, I hear the click of heels clearly. They’re in time with the beat of my heart.
It’s not until I’m outside of the double-doored station and a gust of wind blows my hair over my shoulders, tickling up my neck, that the chill leaves me. With a deep breath, I search for the car, finding it quickly, with Daniel leaning against it.
He is my home. He is my person. Beside him is where I belong, and I’ll do whatever it takes to stay there. Every sacrifice it demands, I’ll make.
About Willow Winters
I actually started writing after having my little girl, Evie, December of 2015. All during my pregnancy with her I read. I only wanted to read smut and I read EVERYTHING. I would read a book a day — sometimes two. In January I was staying up late with her and just thinking of all these stories. They came to me constantly. And I finally sat down and just started writing. I always wanted to do it so I figured, why not?
I never thought I would reach this point of success to be honest. It’s insane to me that I have so many fans. And I love each and every one of them for all of their support. I’ll be honest, some days are HARD. I have my two littles (Jax who’s two and a half and Evie who just turned one!) during the day and I write at night. Some days are just simply exhausting and then I hear from a fan and it makes me want to push through and keep writing. And I do. I promise I won’t stop!
If you enjoy sexy as f*ck and dangerous men getting into trouble for the women they fall for, then you’ll love my books. I like my action hot and my bad boys hotter. And I don’t hold back on either one in my writing.
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