by Shayla Black
His face softens as he filters his fingers through my hair. “Marry me instead.”
3
Hayden
Well, that was smooth, fidiot.
Beside me, Perrie retreats into herself on the drive back to Dan’s place. I grapple for something to say.
“I’m serious,” I finally tell her. “In case you thought I wasn’t.”
She turns to me with red-rimmed eyes. I know her expressions well. She’s trying not to cry. “No, you aren’t.”
“Why would you say that?”
She rolls her eyes. “You didn’t marry Jackie What’s-her-name after two years of banging her like a drum. You’re not going to marry the girl you’ve only kissed once.”
This I have the perfect answer for. “We can fix that right now. There’s a Hilton down the street.”
“I’m still engaged.”
“And I still think you’re marrying the wrong man. Let me prove it.”
She scoffs. “Even if we checked in and fucked our brains out all night, there’s still the issue of my dad. You told me once that I wasn’t worth losing a friend over.”
Those words I tossed at her four years ago in my desperation to push her away make me wince now. “I’m sorry I said that. I was wrong. No, I was lying so you’d back down. But neither Dan nor our business is the issue between us. The twelve-year gap in our ages doesn’t mean a damn thing anymore either. The only thing stopping us now is you.”
“I can’t take you seriously. The notion of marrying me never occurred to you until today.”
“That’s not true.”
“Okay. Not before this week.”
I can’t refute her.
“That’s what I thought. You’ve always tried to ‘save’ me in some way or another—from being lonely as a kid, from starving if I forgot my lunch money, from sucking at video games. If you sacrificed yourself simply to rescue me from marrying Derek, we’d both be miserable. Just drop it.”
She has it all wrong. But when she crosses her arms over her chest and looks out the passenger window at the passing scenery—tuning me out—I realize nothing I say now will convince her she’s wrong.
The rest of the trip is silent.
When we arrive back at Dan’s place, Derek is gone. Perrie disappears into her room.
My best friend frowns as he watches her go. “She’s upset. What happened?”
“We should talk.”
Dan frowns, then shrugs. “Sure. It’s beer o’clock. We can sit out on the back patio.”
I’m not eager to see all the wedding prep progress, but we can talk out of Perrie’s earshot there. “Sounds good.”
A few minutes later, Dan and I are settled around the patio table, taking in the sunset. I’m too distracted to appreciate the vivid oranges, pinks, and yellows coloring the sky. I take a deep breath and prepare to blow up my entire personal and professional life with one sentence.
“I’m in love with Perrie.”
Dan pauses mid-sip, then lowers his beer can again. “I know.”
Not only am I shocked, his response gives me zero idea how he feels about that.
Feeing the need for liquid courage, I pop open my brew and chug half in a few swallows. “And…I’m going to do everything I can to put a stop to this farce on Saturday. I don’t want to lose you as a friend or a business partner, but to be honest, Dan, if you don’t approve, that’s not going to stop me.”
Absently, he fingers the rim of his can. “What does Perrie want?”
“Not to disappoint you. So I’m telling you what’s up man to man. I’d like your blessing, but if you can’t give it to me, please don’t give her your disapproval. It will crush her.”
“You think she’s in love with you, too?”
“She’s done her damnedest to hide it, but yeah.”
“Still?”
It’s my turn to frown. “You knew…”
“She had a crush on you before she left for college? Hell yes.” He lets out a long breath. “She told me. And I’ll tell you what I said to her back then. If my two favorite people in the world make each other happy—when the time is right—that would make me happy, too.”
Warm relief slides through my veins. “I want you to know I’ve never touched her. She kissed me once but—”
“I’m impressed. I wondered for years whether you slept with her that summer before she left.”
If I had, would everything be different now?
“You would have killed me.”
“At the time, yes. In retrospect, maybe it would have been for the best. To be frank, I don’t like Derek. No, that’s not true. He’s okay; he’s just not right for her.”
“Of course he’s not. He left on a business trip days before their wedding. He doesn’t love her.”
Dan shakes his head. “And Perrie doesn’t love him. I figured that out in the first five minutes.”
“She says she does…”
“She probably wants to because marrying him would be easier since he’s not you. I admit she’s attached to him in some way I don’t understand. But I’m not blind; I know her heart has been yours for a long time.”
“Do I have your blessing, then?”
Suddenly, Dan smiles and thrusts his hand toward me. “A thousand percent. You’ve always felt like family. It would be nice to make it official.”
A two-ton weight just lifted from my chest. “Thanks. It would be great.”
“Got a plan? She’s a stubborn thing. She’s going to keep marching ahead with this wedding to Mr. Metrosexual unless you make her change her mind.”
“I’ve got some ideas, and I might need your help. But I’ll get back to that. Since we’re clearing the air… Speaking of not being blind, I know about you and Hannah.”
“Seriously? Oh, thank fuck.” Dan’s visible relief is almost comical. “I have been wracking my brain for months to find a way to tell you.”
“You two and your incessant eye fucking made it obvious over Fourth of July. I suspected way before then but…”
“It’s funny. You and I have both been worried that the other would think we’re too old for the women we love. After all, I’m thirteen years older than Hannah.”
I shrug. “My younger sister is very much an adult. If you two make each other happy—”
“We do.” He winces. “She’s pregnant. Seven weeks. We just found out last Friday. I was going to propose anyway, but we should speed things up now. With your blessing.”
It’s impossible to stay in my chair for that news. Dan gets to his feet, too, and we share a long bro-hug. It’s the most emotion I’ve seen out of him in a decade, and I can’t help but think my sister has been good for him.
“You got it. But dude, this is weird. If it all works out, you’ll be both my father-in-law and my brother-in law.”
“It sounds creepy.” He laughs. “But I can’t think of anything better than Hannah and I finding a place together to raise a rugrat or two. I’ll be a better father this time because I’m ready and I know all the ways I fucked up the first time. Plus, if you convince Perrie to be your wife, she’ll be back for good.”
“Not if, when. I’ll do whatever it takes to convince her to marry me. But I have to be honest, words aren’t working.”
“Ah. So…you’re plotting something underhanded? That’s something I’ve always admired about you, that talent to know when and how to be thoroughly unscrupulous.”
That makes me laugh. It sounds funny coming from upstanding Dan. But he’s not wrong. “I’m thinking truly down and dirty …”
“Tell me. I’ll see how I can help.”
Three days later
Perrie
My wedding is tomorrow and nothing is anything like I imagined. One by one, my college friends let me know they won’t be able to fly in last minute after all. They’re all too busy or broke. Turns out my high school friends and I don’t have that much in common anymore. Most are either still in college or think I’m crazy for settl
ing down now. So no epic bachelorette party for me, which is actually fine. I’m not into exotic dancers or drunken party games. But my fiancé is still out of town. My dad has been conspicuously absent for hours. And Hayden is who knows where. I thought at least one of them would spend my last night as a single lady with me, but no.
I feel wretchedly alone.
That’s not precisely true. I have plenty of regrets to keep me company. They’re piling up and telling me that every choice I’ve made has been wrong.
My phone dings, interrupting that cheerful thought. I glance down to see a text from Derek.
Meetings all done. Everything went great. It’s not official yet, but I think Brayden and I nailed this account.
That’s great! I type back.
Sorry again I had to ditch out this week. Everything in place for the big show tomorrow?
My fingers hesitate over the screen. I’m so close to calling everything off. Of course, right after I got everything into place. I finally found a dress off the rack—with Hayden’s help. He’s been weirdly supportive the last couple of days. And as if he realized the error of opening his mouth, he’s been absolutely silent about marrying me after his impulsive proposal.
I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. I’ll press on and hope for the best, but I’m well beyond second thoughts. I’m on the billionth now.
Yes. Are you still okay with this wedding thing?
Of course! Don’t give up on me. I’ll be back. We got this.
Thanks.
Anything for you, darling. He sends a wink emoji with it.
With a faint smile, I darken my phone. Derek won’t let me down. He never has. I wish I could have fallen in love with him, at least a little.
Adding that to my pile of regrets, I pad barefooted to the liquor cabinet and pop open a bottle of red. The sound of vino sloshing into my empty glass is a sad one, but I drown it out by tossing back half the wine, then heading to the kitchen to find my last supper. After tomorrow, I’ll either be happy…or totally brokenhearted.
While I choke down some leftovers from last night’s roast chicken before I lose enthusiasm for food, I reach for my phone. It’s stupid and impulsive and likely to end in misery, but I tap out a message to Hayden.
What’s up?
No answer. When I mentioned something yesterday about maybe having a gathering tonight, he was oddly vague about his plans and changed the subject. Does he have a hot date? A hookup with a fuck buddy? Or is he just over me?
It’s a depressing thought.
With a sigh, I clean up my solitary dinner, plop onto the sofa, and stare into my nearly empty glass. While I contemplate pouring another, the doorbell rings. By the time I peer out the peephole, I see a driver climbing back in his van and driving away.
I open the door and find a bouquet of flowers on the porch, a colorful profusion of gardenias, pink lilies, cabbage roses, and orchids. It’s huge and breathtaking.
Who sent this?
I don’t know but I find myself smiling as I carry the flowers into the living room and root around for the card. I pull it free from its envelope and find three simple words.
Smell me now
Automatically, I comply. The beautifully dizzying scents swirl in my head and make me desperate to know who had them delivered to me. The card isn’t signed. Derek wouldn’t send me flowers; I know that. In fact, I can only think of one person who might have.
Hayden.
That possibility ricochets through my head as the doorbell rings again. I reach the peephole in time to see a local courier drop off a bag from a liquor store. When I retrieve it and peek inside, I spy a bottle of very swanky champagne. There’s an attached card with another three-word instruction.
Chill me now
Beside that, I find a plain white oblong box with another unsigned note.
Don’t open me
Did Hayden send these mysterious gifts? Since I can’t be sure, can he actually get mad if curiosity gets the best of me? As my brain twists the question around like a pretzel, I dutifully slide the bottle of bubbly into the fridge and set the box, wrapped with a silken red bow, on the kitchen counter.
I’ve barely finished before the doorbell rings yet again. What the hell is going on? Are all these gifts Hayden’s way of letting me down easy?
If so, I admit it; I’ll be crushed.
When I pull open the door again, the courier is standing there once more. He’s a teenage kid with an acne problem and bulging eyes. When he spies me in shorts and a tank top, he can’t seem to operate his tongue. Poor guy. I remember that awkward age…
“Are you supposed to give me the box in your hands?”
“Huh?” He swallows, then nods. “Um, are you Perrie?”
“That’s me.”
“I thought you’d be an old dude.”
I smile. “I get that sometimes. The box?”
“Right. I almost forgot.” He shoves it in my direction. “Have a good one.”
With a last long look, he jogs back to his idling hatchback still blaring an R & B tune. I shut the door, shaking my head.
Maybe I should look on the bright side. Though my life is still upside down, it could be worse. I could be sixteen again…and have six years of unrequited love for Hayden yet to endure.
The truth is, I have a good life. I’ve got some great people in my corner. I’m fielding multiple job offers in major cities all over the country, so I have choices if things don’t work out as planned. I’m young, healthy, and resilient.
I’d just rather not add brokenhearted to that list.
Sinking onto the living room sofa, I pluck at the frilly, pristinely wrapped package in my grip. The sticker affixed tells me it’s from a local store with a very sexy reputation. The little card tucked under the pale pink ribbon contains three more words.
Wear me now
My heart stutters. Did Hayden send me lingerie? Is that possible?
I yank the box open and tear through the dainty tissue paper. The white gossamer fabric and lace make me gasp. It’s stunningly soft.
When I hold up the piece by its spaghetti straps, the box falls at my feet, forgotten. The baby doll is completely sheer. The two cups designed to “cover” my breasts are trimmed in a playful yet delicate dotted lace. Under that, a tiny white bow, placed where the fabric gently gathers, pretends to hold the fluttering sides together. But that bow is purely for show because the sucker is split open with a scalloped hem that runs down the length of the torso and trims the bottom edge, which will barely skim the tops of my thighs.
I bend and scramble through the box for another card or anything that tells me who my mystery gift giver is. All I find is a tiny scrap of matching panties. The strips of lace over the hips echo the design meant to hug my breasts. The rest, including the material over my pussy, is so see-through I’m wondering why it’s there at all.
The tease factor on this getup is times a million. It’s lingerie meant for seduction. I’ve never owned anything like it.
There’s no question whether I’m going to put it on. I can’t wait to.
As I slip into the bedroom and tug off my shorts and tank, I hope and pray I’m donning this for Hayden.
If I’m being honest, I came back to Phoenix for him. Everything is always for him.
The garments feel like a silky cloud of nothing as I slide them on. When I stand in front of the full-length mirror, I’m stunned to see the lace hugs me perfectly, clinging and revealing even more than it conceals.
I feel like a goddess, a temptress. Like the woman who could put a big, satisfied smile on Hayden Hughes’s face.
From the living room, I hear music begin to play—something I can’t identify from this distance. But it’s slow and sexy and lures me downstairs because, other than my dad, only one person has a key to the front door.
Trembling, I make my way across the house. When I round the corner, the man I never fell out of love with stands in the archway, waiting. When Hayden sees me, he
sucks in a breath. His jaw drops. He doesn’t speak, just blinks and swallows hard. I risk a glance down. He’s unmistakably excited by what he sees.
“Hi,” I whisper.
“Oh, Princess…” His gaze wends its way back up to mine. “Wow…”
Electricity sizzles across my skin. The air seems alive with it. The charged current bounces between us. He hasn’t put a finger on me yet, but I’m already so drugged with arousal I struggle to breathe.
“You sent this to me?”
He nods, seemingly looking for his brain. It would be funny if I wasn’t so nervous.
“Yeah, along with the flowers and champagne. Maybe all that’s cliché, but I’m late to the romance game with you, so I’m starting here. Damn, you’re even more gorgeous than I thought.”
“Why?”
The question comes out wrong, but he seems to understand that I’m not asking why he thinks I look good or why it’s taken him so long to sweep me off my feet.
“Because everything I said the day of the cake tasting was honest and serious.”
So…he wants to fuck me until he imprints himself on my soul? Persuade me to marry him instead? Or both?
Regardless, I have a decision to make.
But do I really? I’ve known what—and who—I want all along.
Before I throw away all my plans, I need answers. Besides, I shouldn’t make this easy on him after all the torment he heaped on us. “Why?”
Again, he doesn’t pretend to misunderstand or waste time. He jumps to the heart of the matter. “Because I love you.”
Shock whooshes the air from my lungs. He’s never said those words to me.
“Hayden…”
“I have for a long time. And you love me. Still.” He puts one foot in front of the other, slowly closing the distance between us. “Don’t you?”
I always have.
His eyes are all over me, mentally undressing me, until I feel as if I’m no longer wearing a single filmy stitch. Even his stare makes me dizzy with anticipation. I have no doubt in that moment that he sees me as a grown-up. His equal. The object of his desire. The woman who owns his heart.